Charles S. Here's a jolly fellow—I don't know what relation, but he was mayor of Norwich: take him at eight pounds. Sir O. No, no: six will do for the mayor. Charles S. Come, make it guineas, and I throw out the two aldermen there into the bargain. Sir O. They're mine. Charles S. Careless, knock down the mayor and aldermen. But, plague on't, whe shall be all day retailing in this manner; do let us deal wholesale : what say you, little Premium? Give me three hundred pounds, and take all the remains on each side in a lump. Care. Ay, ay, that will be the best way. Sir O. Well, well, any thing to accommodate you; -they are mine. But there is one portrait which you always passed over. Care. What, that ill-looking little fellow over the settee? Sir O. Yes, sir, I mean that, though I don't think him so i'l-looking a little fellow, by any means. Charles S. What, that?-Oh! that's my uncle Oli ver; 'twas done before he went to India. Care. Your uncle Oliver!-Gad, then you'll never be friends, Charles. That, now, to me, is as stern a looking rogue as ever I saw ; an unforgiving eye, and a damned disinheriting countenance! an inveterate knave depend on't. Don't you think so, little Premium? Sir O. Upon my soul, sir, I do not; I think it as honest a looking face as any in the room, dead or alive; -but I suppose uncle Oliver goes with the rest of the lumber? Charles S. No, hang it; I'll not part with poor Noll. The old fellow has been very good to me, and, egad, I'll keep his picture while I've a room to put it in. Sir O. The rogue's my nephew after all![Aside.]— But, sir, I have somehow taken a fancy to that picture. Charles S. I'm sorry for't, for you certainly shall not have it. Oons, haven't you enough of them? Sir O. I forgive him every thing! [Aside.]-But, sir, when I take a whim in my head I don't value money. I give you as much for that as for all the rest. Charles S. Don't tease me, master broker; I tell you I'll not part with it, and there's an end of it. Sir O. How like his father the dog is! [Aside.]— Well, well, I have done.—I did not perceive it before, but I think I never saw such a resemblance-[A side.] Here is a draught for your sum. Charles S. Why, 'tis for eight hundred pounds. Charles S. Zounds! no!-I tell you once more. Sir O. Then never mind the difference, we'll balance that another time—but give me your hand on the bargain; you are an honest fellow, Charles-I beg pardon, sir, for being so free.-Come, Moses. Charles S. Egad, this is a whimsical old fellow ! But hark'ee, Premium, you'll prepare lodgings for these gentlemen? Sir O. Yes, yes, I'll send for them in a day or two. Charles S. But hold; do now send a genteel conveyance for them, for I assure you, they were most of them used to ride in their own carriages. Sir O. I will, I will-for all but Oliver. Charles S. Peremptorily. Sir O. A dear extravagant rogue! [Aside.]-Goodday!-Come, Moses.-Let me hear now who dares call him profligate. [Exeunt Sir Oliver Surface and Moses. Care. Why, this is the oddest genius of the sort I ever met with. Charles S. Egad, he's the prince of brokers, I think. I wonder how the devil Moses got acquainted with so honest a fellow.-But hark! here's Rowley; do, Careless, say I'll join the company in a few moments. Care. I will-don't let that old blockhead persuade you to squander any of that money on old musty debts, or any such nonsense; for tradesmen, Charles, are the most exorbitant fellows. Charles S. Very true, and paying them is only encouraging them. Ăy, ay, never fear. [Exit Careless.] -Soh! this was an odd old fellow, indeed.-Let me see-two thirds of this-five hundred and thirty odd pounds, are mine by right. 'Fore Heaven! I find one's ancestors are more valuable relations than I took them for!-Ladies and gentlemen, your most obedient and very grateful servant.— Enter RowLEY. Hah! old Rowley! egad, you are just come in time to take leave of your old acquaintance. Row Yes, I heard they were a-going. But I wonder you can have such spirits under so many distresses. Charles S. Why, there's the point! my distresses are so many, that I can't afford to part with my spirits; but I shall be rich and splenetic, all in good time. However, I suppose you are surprised that I am not more sorrowful at parting with so many near relations; to be sure, 'tis very affecting: but you see they never move a muscle, so why should I? Row. There's no making you serious a moment. Charles S. Yes, faith, I am so now. Here, my honest Rowley, here, get me this changed directly, and take a hundred pounds of it immediately to ôld Stanley. Row. A hundred pounds! Consider only Charles S. Gad's life, don't talk about it: poor Stanley's wants are pressing, and if you don't make haste, we shall have some one call that has a better right to the money. Row. Ah! there's the point! I never will cease dunning you with the old proverb Charles S. Be just before you're generous.'-Why, so I would if I could; but Justice is an old hobbling beldame, and I can't get her to keep pace with Generosity for the soul of me. Row. Yet, Charles, believe me, one hour's reflection Charles S. Ay, ay, 'tis very true; but, hark'ee, Rowley, while I have, by heaven I'll give; so damn your economy, and away to old Stanley with the money. [Exeunt. SCENE II.-A Saloon. Enter MOSES and SIR OLIVER SURFACE. Moses. Well, sir, I think, as Sir Peter said, you have seen Mr. Charles in high glory; 'tis great pity he's so extravagant. Sir O. But he would not sell my picture. Moses. And loves wine and women so much. Sir O. But he would not sell my picture.--0, here's Rowley. Enter RowLEY. Row. So, Sir Oliver, I find you have made a pur chase Sir O. Yes, yes, our young rake has parted with his ancestors like old tapestry. Row. And here has he commissioned me to re-deliver you part of the purchase-money-I mean, though, in your necessitous character of old Stanley. Moses. Ah! there is the pity of all; he is so damned charitable. Row. And I left a hosier and two tailors in the hall, who I'm sure won't be paid, and this hundred would satisfy them. -- Sir O. Well, well, I'll pay his debts, and his benevolence too. But now I am no more a broker, and you shall introduce me to the elder brother as old Stanley. Row. Not yet awhile; Sir Peter, I know, means to call there about this time. Enter TRIP. Trip. O, gentlemen, I beg pardon for not shewing you out; this way-Moses, a word. [Exeunt TRIP and MOSES Sir O. There's a fellow for you-would you believe it, that puppy intercepted the Jew on our coming, and wanted to raise money before he got to his master. Row. Indeed! Sir O. Yes, they are now planning an annuity business.-Ah! master Rowley, in my days, servants were content with the follies of their masters, when they were worn a little thread-bare; but now, they have their vices, like their birth-day clothes, with the gloss [Exeunt. on. SCENE III.-A Library, a large Screen, Pem- Joseph S. I am surprised she has not sent, if she is prevented from coming. Sir Peter certainly does not suspect me. Yet, I wish I may not lose the heiress, through the scrape I have drawn myself into with the wife; however, Charles's imprudence and bad character are great points in my favour. [Knocking heard without. Serv. Sir, I believe that must be Lady Teazle. Joseph S. Hold!—See whether it is or not before you go to the door: I have a particular message for you, if it should be my brother. Serv. 'Tis her ladyship, sir; she always leaves her chair at the milliner's in the next street. Joseph S. Stay, stay; draw that screen before the window-that will do;-my opposite neighbour is a lady of a curious temper.-[Servant exit.]—I have a difficult hand to play in this affair. Lady Teazle has lately suspected my views on Maria; but she must by no means be let into that secret,—at least, till I have her more in my power. Enter LADY TEAZLE. Lady T. What, sentiment in soliloquy now? Have |