ÆäÀÌÁö À̹ÌÁö
PDF
ePub

Puff. Egad, sir, I can't tell. Here has been such cutting and slashing, I don't know where they have got to myself.

Til. Indeed, sir, you will find it will connect very well.

Til. A retreat in Spain ! 'Gov. Outlawry here!

'Til. Your daughter's prayer! 'Gov. Your father's oath! Til. My lover! 'Gov. My country! 'Til. Tilburina! 'Gov. England! Til. A title! 'Gov. Honour!

Til. A pension! 'Gov. Conscience!

Til. A thousand pounds!

'Gov. [Starts.] Hah! thou hast touch'd me nearly! Til. Canst thou

'Reject the suppliant, and the daughter too?

'Gov. No more : I would not hear thee plead in vain; 'The father softens-but the governor

Is resolved!'

[Exit.

Puff. My dear sir, give that a little more force, if you please' but the Governor's resolv'd

"Gov. [Imitating Puff's manner.] The father softens-but the governor

'Is resolv'd!

[Exit quickly. Til. 'Tis well,-hence then, fond hopes,-fond pas

sion, hence;

'Duty, behold I am all over thine

Whis. [Without.] Where is my love-my-behind!'

Puff. My what?-What's that, Mr. Penson?

Enter WHISKERANDOS.

Puff. Have the goodness to let me hear that line again?

Whis. Where is my love-my behind?"

Puff. No, no, sir.—' Where is my love-my-behind the scenes-spoken behind the scenes.

Whis. Oh, I beg pardon, sir, but I assure you it is written so in my part.

Enter WHISKERANDOS.

[Exit.

"Whis. Where is my love-my-beauteous enemy, My conquering Tilburina! How! is 'thus

We meet? Why are thy looks averse? What means "That falling tear-that frown of boding woe? "Hah! now indeed I am a prisoner!

[ocr errors]
[ocr errors]

Yes, now I feel the galling weight of these

Disgraceful chains-which, cruel Tilburina!

" Thy doating captive gloried in before.

"But thou art false, and Whiskerandos is undone !

Til. O no; how little dost thou know thyTilburina. Whis. Are thou then true? begone cares, doubts, and fears.

'I make you all a present to the winds;

And if the winds reject you—try the waves.'

Puff. The wind you know is the established receiver of all stolen sighs, and cast-off griefs and apprehensions.

'Til. Yet must we part?-Stern duty seals our doom:

6 Though here I call yon conscious clouds to witness,
'Could I pursue the bias of my soul,

'All friends, all rights of parents I'd disclaim,
And thou, my Whiskerandos, should'st be father.
And mother, brother, cousin, uncle, aunt.

And friend to me!

'Whis. O matchless excellence !-And must we part?

6 Well, if-we must-we must-and in that case The less is said the better.'

Puff. Hey, dey! here's a cut!-What! are all the mutual protestations out?

Til. Now, pray, sir, don't interrupt us just here; you ruin our feelings.

Puff. Your feelings!-but zounds, my feelings, ma'am!

'Whis. One last embrace.

• Til. Now,—farewel, for ever! 'Whis. For ever!

Til. Aye, for ever!'

[Going.

Puff. S'death and fury!-Gad's life! Sir! Madam, I really can't suffer this-if you go out without the parting look, you might as well dance out-Here!

For, ever! Aye for ever.

[Holding forth his arms, as to embrace ] Give them the last puff of your tragedy bellows!

6

'Whis. [With arms extended.] For ever! Oh! Til. Aye, for ever, Oh!

[They rush into each other's arms, then reluctently part and exeunt. Con. But, pray, sir, how am I to get off here? Puff. You, pshaw! what the devil signifies how you [Pushes the Confidant off. [Drop scene lowers; Sneer and Dangle rise. Dan. O charming!

get off.

Puff. Hey!-'tis pretty well, 1 believe. You see, I don't attempt to strike out any thing new-but I take it I improve on the established modes.

Enter UNDER PROMPTER.

Under P. Sir, the carpenter says it is impossible you can go to the Park scene yet.

Puff. The Park scene? No-I mean the description scene here in the wood.

Under P. Sir, the performers have cut it out.
Puff. Cut it out!

Under P. Yes, sir.

Puff. What! the whole account of Queen Elizabeth?
Under P. Yes, sir.

Puff. And the description of her horse and sidesaddle?

Under P. Yes, sir.

Puff. So, so, this is very fine indeed! Mr. Prompter, how the plague could you suffer this?

Prompter. [From within.] Sir, indeed, the pruning

knife

Puff. The pruning knife-zounds! the axe! Why, here has been such lopping and topping, I shan't have the bare trunk of my play left presently.-Very well, sir-the performers must do as they please; but, upon my soul, I'll print it every word.

Sneer. That I would, indeed.

Puff. Very well-sir-then we must go on. [Exit UNDER PROMPTER.] Well, now if the scene is ready -we'll go on.

[The Drop scene rises, and discovers a Wood scene. A carpet spread on the stage and a chair in the centre. So, now for my mysterious yeoman.

Enter a Beefeater.

Beef. Perdition catch my soul, but I do love thee!' Sneer. Haven't I heard that line before?

Puff. No, I fancy not.-Where, pray?

Dan. Yes, I think there is something like it in 'Othello.'

Puff. Gad! now you put me in mind on't, I believe there is-but that's of no consequence-all that can be said is, that two people happened to hit on the same thought and Shakspeare made use of it first, that's all.

Sneer. Very true.

Puff. Now, sir, your soliloquy-but speak more to the pit, if you please-the soliloquy always to the pit that's a rule.

'Beef. Tho' hopeless love finds comfort in dispair, 'It never can endure a rival's bliss!

'But soft.'

Puff. Put your finger to your head when you say that and don't gallop off-steal cautiously off.

'Beef. But soft-I am observed.'

[Extt Beefeater stealthily.

Dan. That's a very short soliloquy.

Puff. Yes-but it would have been a great deal longer if he had not been observed.

Sneer. A most sentimental Beefeater that, Mr. Paff. Puff. Hark ye-I would not have you to be too sure

that he is a Beefeater.

Sneer. What, a hero in disguise?

Puff. No matter-1 only give you a hint.—But now for my principal character-here he comes-Lord Burleigh in person! Pray, gentlemen, step this way-softly -I only hope the Lord High Treasurer is perfect— if he is but perfect!

Enter BURLEIGH, goes slowly to the chair, and sits.

Sneer. Mr. Puff!

Puff. Hush! vastly well, sir! vastly well! a most interesting gravity!

Dan What, isn't he to speak at all?

Puff. Egad, I thought you'd ask me that -Yes, it is a very likely thing, that a minister in his situation, with the whole affairs of the nation on his head, should have time to talk! But hush! or you'll put him out. Sneer. Put him out! how the plague can that be, if he's not going to say any thing?

Puff. There's a reason! Why his part is to think : and how the plague do you imagine he can think, if you keep talking?

Dan. That's very true, upon my word!

[Burleigh comes forward, and shakes his head.] Puff. Shake your head more-more-damn it, man, shake your head as if there was something in it.

[Burleigh shakes his head extravagantly, and exit.] Sneer. He is very perfect, indeed. Now, pray what did he mean by that?

Puff. You don't take it?

Sneer. No; I don't upon my soul.

Puff. Why, by that shake of the head, he gave you to understand, that even though they had more justice in their cause, and wisdom in their measures, yet, if there was not a greater spirit shewn on the part of the people, the country would at last fall a sacrifice to the hostile ambition of the Spanish monarchy.

« ÀÌÀü°è¼Ó »