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you! Oons! here to meet some lion-headed fellow, I warrant, with his d―n'd double barrell'd swords and cut-and-thrust pistols!-Lord bless us! it makes me tremble to think on 't-those be such desperate bloodyminded weapons! well, I never could abide them!from a child I never could fancy them!-1 suppose there an 't been so merciless a beast in the world as your loaded pistol!

Acres. Z-ds! I won't be afraid-odds fire and fury! you sha'nt make me afraid. Here is the challenge, and I have sent for my dear friend, Jack Absolute, to carry it for me.

Dav. Ay, i' the name of mischief, let him be the messenger. For my part, I wouldn't lend a hand to it, for the best horse in your stable. By the mass! it don't look like another letter!-it is, as I may say, a designing and malicious-looking letter! and I warrant smells of gunpowder, like a soldier's pouch! Oons! I wouldn't swear it mayn't go off!

Acres. Out, your poltroon!—you haʼn't the valour of a grasshopper.

Dav. Well, I say no more-'t will be sad news, to be sure, at Clod-Hall!-but I ha' done.-How Phyllis will howl when she hears of it!-ay, poor bitch, she little thinks what shooting her master's going after! -and I warrant old Crop, who has carried your honour, field and road, these ten years, wil curse the hour he was born![Whimpering.

Acres. It won't do, David-I am determined to fight, so get along, you coward, while I'm in the mind.

Enter SERVANT.

Ser. Captain Absolute, sir.

Acres. O! shew him up.

[Exit SERVANT.

David. Well, heaven send we be all alive this time

to-morrow.

Acres. What's that?-Don't provoke me, David! Dav. Good bye, master.

[Sobbing.

Acres. Get along, you cowardly, dastardly, croak

ing raven.

[Exit DAVID.

Enter CAPTAIN ABSOLUTE.

Capt. A. What's the matter, Bob?

Acres. A vile, sheep-hearted blockhead!-If I hadn't the valour of St. George, and the dragon to boot

Capt. A. But what did you want with me, Bob? Acres. Oh!-there- [Gives him the challenge. Capt. A. To Ensign BEVERLEY.' So-what's going on now! [Aside] Well, what's this?

Acres. A challenge!

Capt. A. Indeed!-Why, you won't fight him, will you, Bob?

Acres. 'Egad, but I will, Jack.-Sir Lucius has wrought me to it. He has left me full of rage, and I'll fight this evening, that so much good passion mayn't be wasted.

Capt. A. But what have I to do with this?

Acres. Why, as I think you know something of this fellow, I want you to find him out for me, and give him this mortal defiance.

Capt. A. Well, give it me, and trust me he gets it. Acres. Thank you, my dear friend, my dear Jack; but it is giving you a great deal of trouble

Capt. A. Not in the least-I beg you won't mention it. No trouble in the world, I assure you.

Acres. You are very kind.-What it is to have a friend:-you couldn't be my second-could you, Jack? Capt. A. Why, no, Bob-not in this affair-it would not be quite so proper.

Acres. Well, then, I must get my friend Sir Lucius. I shall have your good wishes, however, Jack? Capt. A. Whenever he meets you, believe me.

Enter SERVANT.

Ser. Sir Anthony Absolute is below, inquiring for the captain.

Capt. A. I'll come instantly. [Exit SERVANT. Well, my little hero, success attend you. [Going. Acres. Stay, stay, Jack. If Beverley should ask

you what kind of a man your friend Acres is, do tell him I am a devil of a fellow-will you, Jack?

Capt. A. To be sure I shall. I'll say you are a determined dog-hey, Bob?

Acres. Ay, do, do-and if that frightens him, 'egad, perhaps he mayn't come. So tell him I generally kill

a man a week, will you, Jack?

Capt. A. I will; I will; I'll say you are call'd, in the country, 'Fighting Bob.'

Acres. Right, right-'tis all to prevent mischief: for I don't want to take his life, if I clear my honour. Capt. A. No!-that's very kind of you.

Acres. Why, you don't wish me to kill him, do you, Jack?

Capt. A. No, upon my soul, I do not. But a devil of a fellow, hey?. [Going. Acres. True, true-But stay-stay, Jack-you may add, that you never saw me in such a rage before-a most devouring rage.

Capt. A. I will, I will:

Acres. Remember, Jack—a determined dog!

Capt. A. Ay, ay, ‘Fighting Bob.'

[Exeunt ACRES and CAPT. ABSOLUTE.

SCENE II.-MRS MALAPROP'S Lodgings.

Enter MRS. MALAPROP and LYDIA.

Mrs. M. Why, thou perverse one!-tell me what you can object to in him?-Isn't he a handsome man?-tell me that. A genteel man? A pretty figure of a man?

Lyd. She little thinks whom she is praising. [Aside. So is Beverley, ma'am.

Mrs. M. No caparisons, miss, if you please. Caparisons don't become a young woman. No! Captain Absolute is indeed a fine gentleman.

Lyd. Ay, the Captain Absolute you have seen.

[Aside. Mrs. M. Then he's so well bred;-so full of alacrity and adulation!-He has so much to say for himself,

in such good language too. His physiognomy so grammatical; then his presence so noble! I protest, when I saw him, I thought of what Hamlet says in the play: 'Hesperian curls-the front of Job himself! an eye, like March, to threaten at command!a station, like Harry Mercury, new'-Something about kissing-on a hill-however, the similitude struck me directly.

Lyd. How enraged she 'll be presently, when she discovers her mistake! [Aside.

Enter SERVANT.

Ser. Sir Anthony and Captain Absolute are below, ma'am.

Mrs. M. Shew them up here. [Exit SERVANT. Now, Lydia, I insist on your behaving as becomes a young woman. Shew your good breeding, at least,

though you have forgot your duty.

Lyd. Madam, I have told you my resolution-I shall not only give him no encouragement, but I won't even speak to, or look at him.

[Flings herself into a chair, with

her face from the door.

Enter SIR ANTHONY and CAPTAIN ABSolute.

Sir Anth. Here we are, Mrs. Malaprop; come to mitigate the frowns of unrelenting beauty,—and difficulty enough I had to bring this fellow. I don't know what's the matter, but if I had not held him by force, he 'd have given me the slip.

Mrs. M. you have infinite trouble, Sir Anthony, in the affair. I am ashamed for the cause! Lydia, Lydia, rise, I beseech you!-pay your respects! [Aside to her.

Sir Anth. Lhope, madam, that Miss Languish has reflected on the worth of this gentleman, and the regard due to her aunt's choice, and my alliance. Now, Jack, speak to her. [Aside to him. Capt. A. What the devil shall I do? [Aside.] You sce, sir, she won't even look at me whilst you are

-Let me

here, I knew she wouldn't!—I told you so—) entreat you, sir, to leave us together!

[CAPT. A seems to expostulate with his father. Sir Anth. I say, sir, I won't stir a foot yet.

Mrs. M. I am sorry to say, Sir Anthony, that my affluence over my niece is very small. Turn round, Lydia, I blush for you! [Aside to her.

Sir Anth. May I not flatter myself, that Miss Languish will assign what cause of dislike she can have to my son?-why don't you begin, Jack? Speak, you puppy-speak! [Aside to him. Mrs. M. It is impossible, Sir Anthony, she can have any. She will not say she has. Answer, [Aside to her. Sir Anth. Then, madam, I trust that a childish and hasty predilection will be no bar to Jack's happiness. Z-ds! sirrah! why don't you speak? [Aside to him.

hussy! why don't you answer?

Capt. A. Hem! hem! Madam-hem! [CAPT. ABSOLUTE attempts to speak, then returns to SIR ANTH.] Faith! sir, I am so confounded!-and soso confused! I told you I should be so, sir,—I knew it. The the tremour of my passion entirely takes away my presence of mind.

Sir Anth. But it don't take away your voice, fool, does it? Go up, and speak to her directly! [CAPT. ABSOLUTE makes signs to MRS. MALAPROP to leave them together.] What the devil are you at? unlock your jaws, sirrah, or[Aside to him. Capt. A. [Draws near LYDIA.] Now heaven send she may be too sullen to look round! I must disguise my voice. [Aside. Speaks in a low tone.] Will not Miss Languish lend an ear to the mild accents of true love? Will not

Sir Anth. What the devil ails the fellow? Why don't you speak out?-not stand croaking like a frog in a quinsey!

Capt. A. The-the excess of my awe, and my-my modesty, quite choke me!

Sir Anth. Ah! your modesty again! I'll tell you what, Jack: if you don't speak out directly and

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