gl:bly too, I shall be in such a rage! Mrs. Malaprop, I wish the lady would favour us with something more than a side-front.

[MRS. MALAPROP seems to chide LYDIA. Capt. A. So! all will ont, I see! [Goes up to LYDIA, speaks softly.] Be not surprised, my Lydia, suppress all surprise at present.

Lyd. [Aside.] Heavens! 'tis Beverley's voice![Looks round by degrees, then starts up.] Is this possible!-my Beverley! how can this be!-my Beverley! Capt. A. Ah! 'tis all over! [Aside. Sir Anth. Beverley !—the devil!-Beverley! What can the girl mean? This is my son, Jack Absolute.

Mrs. M. For shame, hussy! for shame!—your head runs so on that fellow, that you have him always in your eyes! beg Captain Absolute's pardon directly.

Lyd. I see no Captain Absolute, but my loved Beverley! Sir Anth. Z-ds, the girl's mad! her brain's turned by reading!

Mrs. M. O' my conscience, I believe so!-what do you mean by Beverley, hussy ?-you saw Captain Absolute before to-day, there he is-your husband that shall be. Lyd. With all my soul, ma'am ; when I refuse my Beverley

Sir Anth. Oh! she's mad as Bedlam!-or has this fellow been playing us a rogue's trick! Come here, sirrah, who the devil are you?

Capt A. 'Faith, sir, I am not quite clear myself; but I'll endeavour to recollect.

Sir Anth. Are you my son or not?-answer for your mother, you dog, if you won't for me.

Capt. A. Ye powers of impudence, befriend me![Aside]. Sir Anthony, most assuredly I am your wife's son; and that I sincerely believe myself to be yours also, I hope my duty has always shewn. Mrs Malaprop, I am your most respectful admirer, and shall be proud to add affectionate nephew; I need not tell my Lydia that she sees her faithful Beverley, who, knowing the singular generosity of her temper, assumed that name, and a station, which has proved a test of the most

disinterested love, which he now hopes to enjoy in a more elevated character.

Lyd. So there will be no elopement after all!

[Sullenly. Sir Anth. Upon my soul, Jack, thou art a very impudent fellow! To do you justice, I think I never saw a piece of more consummate assurance!

Capt. A. Oh, you flatter me, sir; you compliment; 'tis my modesty, you know, sir; my modesty, that has stood in my way.

Sir. Anth. Well, I am glad you are not the dull, insensible varlet you pretend to be, however! I'm glad you have made a fool of your father, you dog, I am. So this was your penitence, your duty, and obedience! I thought it was d―n'd sudden. You never heard their names before, not you! What, the Languishes of Worcestershire, hey? if you could please me in the affair, 'twas all you desired! Ah! you dissembling villain! What! (Pointing to LYDIA.) she squints, don't she? a little red-haired girl! hey? Why, you hypocritical young rascal-I wonder you a'n't ashamed to hold your head!

Capt. A. 'Tis with difficulty, sir—I am confused— very much confused, as you must perceive

Mrs. M. O lud! Sir Anthony!—a new light breaks in upon me! hey! how! what! captain, did you write the letters then? What!-am I to thank you for the elegant compilation of an' old weather-beaten she-dragon,'-hey? O mercy-was it you that reflected on my parts of speech?

Capt. A. Dear sir! my modesty will be overpowered at last, if you don't assist me. I shall certainly not be able to stand it.

Sir Anth. Come, come, Mrs. Malaprop, we must forget and forgive; odds life! matters have taken so clever a turn all of a sudden, that I could find in my heart to be so good-humoured! and so gallant!-hey! Mrs. Malaprop! Come, we must leave them together; Mrs. Malaprop, they long to fly into each other's arms, I warrant! Jack-isn't the cheeks as I said, hey?—

and the eye, you rogue!—and the lip-hey? Come, Mrs. Malaprop, we'll not disturb their tendernesstheirs is the time of life for happiness! Youth's the season made for joy-[Sings.] Hey! Odd's life! I'm in such spirits-I don't know what I could not do! Permit me, ma'am-[Gives his hand to MRS. MALA PROP.] [Sings.]-Tol de rol-'gad I should like to have a little fooling myself—Tol de rol! de rol!

[Exit, singing, and handing MRS. MALAPROP off-LYDIA sits sullenly in her Chair. Capt. A. So much thought bodes me no good. [Aside.] So grave, Lydia!

Lyd. Sir!

Capt. A. So! 'egad! I thought as much! That d-n'd monosyllable has froze me? [Aside.] What, Lydia, now that we are as happy in our friends' consent as in our mutual vows.

[Peevishly.

Lyd. Friends' consent, indeed! Capt. A. Come, come, we must lay aside some of our romance; a little wealth and comfort may be endured after all. And for your fortune, the lawyers shall make such settlements as

Lyd. Lawyers! I hate lawyers!

Capt. A Nay then we will not wait for their lingering forms, but instantly procure the license, and— Lyd. The license! I hate licenses!

me entreat

Capt. A. Oh, my love be not so unkind-thus let [Kneeling. Lyd. Pshaw! what signifies kneeling, when you know I must have

you!

Capt. A. [Rising.] Nay, madam, there shall be no constraint upon your inclinations, I promise you. If I have lost your heart, I resign the rest. 'Gad I must try what a little spirit will do. [Aside.

Lyd. [Rising.] Then, sir, let me tell you, the interest you had there was acquired by a mean, unmanly imposition, and deserves the punishment of fraud.What, you have been treating me like a child!-humouring my romance; and laughing, I suppose, at your success!

* *

Capt. A. You wrong me, Lydia, you wrong me— only hear

Lyd. So, while I fondly imagined we were deceiving my relations, and flattered myself that I should outwit and incense them all-behold, my hopes are to be crushed at once, by my aunt's consent and approbation and I am myself the only dupe at last! [Walking about in a heat.]—But here, sir, here is the picture-Beverley's picture! [Taking a Miniature from her bosom.]—which I have worn, night and day, in spite of threats and entreaties! There, sir, [Flings it to him.]—and be assured, I throw the original from my heart, as easily.

Capt A. Nay, nay, ma'am, we will not differ as to that-here-[Taking out a Picture.]-here is Miss Lydia Languish. What a difference!-ay, there is the heavenly assenting smile, that first gave soul and spirit to my hopes!-those are the lips which sealed a vow, as yet scarce dry in Cupid's calendar!-and there the half resentful blush, that would have checked the ardour of my thanks. Well, all that's past; all over indeed! There, madam, in beauty, that copy is not equal to you, but in my mind, its merit over the original, in being still the same, is such-that-I'll put it in my pocket. [Puts it up again. Lyd. [Softening.] 'Tis your own doing, sir-I, I, I suppose you are perfectly satisfied.

Capt. A. Oh, most certainly: sure now, this is much better than being in love! ha! ha! ha!— there's some spirit in this! What signifies breaking some scores of solemn promises; all that's of no consequence, you know. To be sure people will say, that miss didn't know her own mind-but never mind that: or, perhaps, they may be ill-natured enough to hint, that the gentleman grew tired of the lady, and forsook her-but don't let that fret you.

Lyd. There's no bearing his insolence!

[Bursts into tears.

Enter MRS. MALAPROP and SIR ANTHONY.

Mrs. M. [Entering.] Come, we must interrupt your billing and cooing a while.!

Lyd. This is worse than your treachery aud deceit, you base ingrate! [Sobbing.

Sir. Anth. What the devil's the matter now! Z-ds! Mrs. Malaprop, this is the oddest billing and cooing I ever heard! but what the deuce is the meaning of it? I'm quite astonish'd!

Capt. A. Ask the lady, sir.

Mrs. M. Oh, mercy! I'm quite analys'd, for my part! Why, Lydia, what is the reason of this! Lyd. Ask the gentleman, ma'am.

Sir Anth. Z-ds! I shall be in a frenzy! Why Jack, you are not come out to be any one else, are you? Mrs. M. Ay, sir, there's no more trick, is there?— you are not, like Cerberus, three gentlemen at once, are you?

Capt. A. You'll not let me speak—I say the lady

can account for this much better than I can.

Lyd. Ma'am, you once commanded me never to think of Beverley again; there is the man-I now obey you: for, from this moment, I renounce him for [Exit. Mrs. M. O mercy and miracles! what a turn here is! Why sure, Captain, you haven't behaved disrespectfully to my niece?

ever.

Sir. Anth. Ha! ha! ha!-ha! ha! ha!-now I see it-Ha! ha! ha!-now I see it-you have been too lively, Jack.

Capt. A. Nay, sir, upon my word—

Sir Anth. Come, no lying, Jack-I'm sure 'twas so. Come, no excuses, Jack; why, your father, you rogue, was so before you; the blood of the Absolutes was always impatient.

Capt. A. By all that's good, sir—

Sir Anth. Ž-ds! say no more, I tell you-Mrs. Malaprop shall make your peace. You must make his peace, Mrs. Malaprop; you must tell her, 'tis