Enter CORPORAL and two SOLDIERS. Cor. Holoa, friend, do you serve Justice Credulous? Licu. I do. Cor. Are you rich? Lieu. Noa. Cor. Nor ever will with that old stingy booby; look here, take it. Lieu. What must I do for this? [Gives him a purse. Cor. Mark me, our Lieutenant is in love with the old rogue's daughter, help us to break his worship's bones, and carry off the girl, and you are a made man. Lieu. I'll see you hang'd first, you pack of skurry villains? [Throws away the purse. Cor. What, sirrah, do you mutiny! lay hold of him. Lieu. Nay then, I'll try your armour for you. Aul. Oh, oh! Quarter, quarter! [Beats them. [Exit. Jus. Trim them, trounce them, break their bones, honest Humphrey-What a spirit he has! Doc. Aquafortis. Lieu. Betray my master! Doc. What a miracle of fidelity! Jus. Ay, and it shall not go unrewarded—I'll give him sixpence on the spot. Here, honest Humphrey, there's for yourself; as for this bribe (takes up the purse), such trash is best in the hands of justice. Now then, Doctor, I think I may trust him to guard the women; while he is with them I may go out with safely. Doc. Doubtless you may; I'll answer for the Lieutenant's behaviour while honest Humphrey is with your daughter. Jus. Ay, ay, she shall go no where without him. Come along, honest Humphrey. How rare it is to meet with such a servant. [Exit. SCENE-A Garden. LAURETTA discovered. Enter JUSTICE and LIEUTENANT. Jus. Why, you little truant, how durst you wander so far from the house without my leave; do you want to invite that scoundrel Lieutenant to scale the walls and carry you off? Lau. Lud, papa, you are so apprehensive for nothing. Jus. Why, hussy——————— Lau. Well, then, I can't bear to be shut up all day so like a nun. I am sure it is enough to make one wish to be run away with-and I wish I was run away with-I do-and I wish the Lieutenant knew it. Jus. You do, do you, hussy? Well I think I'l take pretty good care of you. Here, Humphrey, 1 leave this lady in your care. Now, you may walk about the garden, Miss Pert, but Humphrey shall go with you wherever you go. So mind, honest Humphrey, I am obliged to go abroad for a little while, let no one but yourself come near her; don't be shamefaced, you booby, but keep close to her. And now, Miss, let your Lieutenant or any of his crew come near you if they can. Lau. How this booby stares after him. [Exit. [Sits down and sings. Lieu. Lauretta. Lau. Not so free, fellow. [Sings. Lieu. Lauretta, look on me. Lau. Not so free, fellow. Lieu. No recollection! Lau. Honest Humphrey, be quiet. Lizu. Have you forgot your faithful soldier ? Lau. Ah! O, preserve me. Lieu. 'Tis, my soul, your truest slave, passing on your father in this disguise. Lau. Well now, I declare this is charming-you are so disguised, my dear Lieutenant, and you do look so delightfully ugly, I am sure no one will find you out, ha! ha! ha! you know I am under your protection— papa charged you to keep close to me. Lieu. True, my angel, and thus let me fulfil- Lieu. Nay, 'tis but what old Mittimus commanded. Jus. Your very humble servant, honest Humphrey -don't mind me-Pray, don't let me interrupt you. Lau. Lud, papa-Now that's so good natur'dIndeed there's no harm-you did not mean any rudeness, did you, Humphrey? Licu. No indeed, Miss, his worship knows it is not in me. Jus. I know that you are a lying, canting, hypocritical scoundrel, and if you don't take yourself out of my sight Lau. Indeed, papa, now I'll tell you how it was, I was some time taken with a sudden giddiness, and Humphrey seeing me begin to totter ran to my assistance quite frighten'd, poor fellow, and took me in his arms. Jus. Oh! was that all, nothing but a little giddiness, hey! Lieu. That's all, indeed, your worship, for seeing Miss change colour I ran up instantly. Jus. O'twas very kind in you. Lieu. And luckily recovered her. Jus. And who made you a doctor, you impudent rascal, hey! get out of my sight I say this instant, or by all the statutes— Lau. O now, papa, you frighten me and I am giddy again-oh, help. Lieu. O dear lady-she'll fall. [Takes her into his arms. Jus. Zounds! what, before my face-why then, thou miracle of impudence [lays hold of him and discovers him.] Mercy on me who have we here, Murder Robbery Fire-Rape-Gunpowder-Soldiers John-Susan-Bridget Licu.Good Sir, don't be alarmed, I mean you no harm. Lieu. You know my love for your daughter- Lieu. And that alone! Jus. Treason, Gunpowder. [Enter SERVANT with a Blunderbuss] Now, scoundrel, let her go this instant. Lau. O papa, you'll kill me. Jus. Honest Humphrey, be advised-Ay Miss, this way if you please. Lieu. Nay sir, but hear me— Jus. I'll shoot. Lieu. And you'll be convinc'd Jus. I'll shoot. Lieu. How injurious Jus. I'll shoot, and so your very humble servant, honest Humphrey Hum. [Exit separately SCENE. A Walk. Enter DOCTOR ROSY. Doc. Well, I think my friend is now in a fair way of succeeding. Ah! I warrant he is full of hope and fear, doubt and anxiety; truly he has the fever of love strong upon him; faint, peevish, languishing all day with burning, restless nights-Ah! just my case when Í pined for my poor dear Dolly-When she used to have her daily colics, that her little Doctor might be sent for-Then would I interpret the language of her pulse -Declare my own sufferings in my receipt for her, send her a pearl necklace in a pill box-or a cordial draught, with an acrostic on the label.-Well those days are over-no happiness lasting—all is vanitynow sun-shine-now cloudy-we are, as it were, king and beggar-then what avails Enter LIEUTENANT. Lieu. O, Doctor, ruin'd and undone! ** Doc. The pride of beauty—— Doc. The pompous wig―― Lieu. Is more enraged than ever. Doc. The gilded cane Lieu. Why, Doctor [slapping him on the shoulder.] Doc. Hey! Lieu. Confound your morals, I tell you I am discovered, discomfited, disappointed, ruin'd. Doc. Indeed! good lack, good lack, to think of the instability of human affairs-Nothing certain in this world-most deceived when most confident-fools of fortune all. Lieu. My dear Doctor, I want at present a little practical wisdom-I am resolv'd this instant to try the scheme, we were going to put in execution last week I have the letter ready, and only want your assistance to recover my ground. Doc. With all my heart-I'll warrant you I'll bear a part in it—but how the deuce were you discovered? Lieu. I'll tell you as we go, there's not a moment to be lost. Doc. Heaven send we succeed better, but there's no knowing. Lieu. Very true. Doc. We may, and we may not. Lieu. Right. Doc. Time must shew. Lieu. Certainly. Doc. We are but blind guessers. Lieu. Nothing more. Doc. Thick-sighted mortals. Lieu. Remarkably. Doc. Wandering in error. Lieu. Even so. Doc. Futurity is dark. Doc. Men are moles. [LIEUT. forcing him out. |