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and low-Death's a debt, his mandamus binds all alike -No bail, no demurrer.

Jus. Silence Doctor Croaker, will you care me or will you

not? Doc. Alas, my dear friend, it is not in my power, but I'M certainly see justice done on your murderer.

Jus. I thank you, my dear friend, but I had rather see it myself.

Doc. Ay, but if you recover the villain will escape.

Bri. Will he? then indeed it would be a pity you should recover. I am so enraged against the villain, I can't hear the thought of his escaping the halter,

Jus. That's very kind in you, my dear, but if it's the same thing to you, my dear, I had as soon recover, notwithslanding. What, Doctor, no assistance!

Doc. Efacks, I can do nothing, but there's the German Quack whom you wanted to send from town, I met him at the next door, and I know he has antidotes for all poisons.

Jus. Fetch him, my dear friend, fetch him! I'll get him a diploma if he cures me.

Doc. Well, there's no time to be lost, you continue to swell immensely.

[Exit. Bri. What, my dear, will you submit to be cured bij a Quack Nostrum monger? for my part as much as I love you, I had rather follow you to your grave, than see you owe your life to any but a regular bred physician.

Jus. I'm sensible of your affection, dearest, and be assured nothing consoles me more in my melancholy situation, so much as the thoughts of leaving you behind me.

Enter Doctor, and LIEUTENANT disguised.
Doc. Great luck, met him passing by the door.
Lieu. Metto dowsei pulsum.
Doc. He desires to feel your pulse.
Jus. Can't he speak English?
Doc. Not a word.
Lieu. Palio vivem mortem soonem.

Doc. He says you have not six hours to live.
Jus. O mercy! Does he know my distemper?
Doc. I believe not.
Jus. Tell him 'tis black arsenic they have given me.
Doc. Geneable illi arsnecca.
Lieu. Pisonatus.
Jus. What does he say?
Doc. He says that you are poison’d.
Jus. We know that, but what will be the effect ?
Doc. Quid effectum?
Lieu, Diable tutellem.
Doc. He says you will die presently.
Jus. Oh horrible! What, no antidote?
Lieu. Curum benakere bono fullum.

Jus. What does he say? I must row in a boat to Fulham!

Doc. He says he'll undertake to cure you for 3000 1.

Bri. 3000 i.! 3000 halters! no, lovee, you shall never submit to such impositions; die at once and be a customer to none of them.

Jus. I won't die, Bridget I don't like death.

Bri. Psha, there is nothing in it, a moment and it is over.

Jus. Ay, but it leaves a numbness behind that lasts for a plaguy long time. Bri. O my dear, pray do consider the will.

Lau. O my father, what is it I hear?
Lieu. Quiddam seomriam deos tollam rosam.

Doc. The doctor is astonished at the sight of your fair daughter.

Jus. How so?
Lieu. Damsellum livivum suvum rislibani.

Doc. He says that he has lost his heart to her, and that if you will give him leave to pay his addresses to the young lady, and promise your consent to the union if he should gain her affections, he will on those conditions cure you instantly without fee or reward.

Jus. The devil! did he say all that in so few words?

-what a fine language it is. Well, I agree, if he can prevail on the girl-and that I am sure he never will.

[Aside. Doc. Greal. Lieu. Writhum bothum.

Doc. He says you must give this under your hand, while he writes you a miraculous recipe.

[Both sit down to write.
Lau. Do, mamma, tell me the meaning of this.
Bri. Don't speak to me, girl. -Unnatural paren!
Jus. There, doctor, there's what he requires.
Doc. And here's your recipe, read it yourself.
Jus. Hey! what's here! plain English.

Doc. Read it out, a wondrous nostrum, l’ll answer for it.

Jus. In reading this you are cured, by your assectionate son-in-law , O'Conner.' Who, in the name of Beelzebub, sirrah, who are you?

Lieu. Your affectionate son-in-law, O'Conner, and your very humble servant, Humphrey Hum.

Jus. 'Tis false, you dog, you are not my son-in-law, for l'll be poison'd again, and you shall be hang'dI'll die, sirrah, and leave Bridget my estate.

Bri. Ay, pray do, my dear! leave me your estate, I'm sure he deserves to be hang'd.

Jus. He does you say—hark’ee, Bridget , you shew'd such a tender concern for me when you thought me poison'd, that for the future I am resolv'd never to take your advice again in any thing. So, do you hear Sir, you are an Irishman, and a soldier, ar’n't you ?

Licu. I am, Sir, and proud of both.

Jus. The two things on earth I most hate, so I'll tell you what, renounce your country, and sell your commission, and I'll forgive you.

Lieu. Hark'ee, Mr. Justice, if you were not the father of my Lauretta, I would pull your nosc for asking the first, and break your bones for desiring the second.

Doc. Aye, aye, you're right.
Jus. Is he, then I'm sure I must be wrong. Here,

Sir, I give my daughter to you, who are the most impudent dog, i ever saw in


life. Lieu. O Sir, say what you please, with such a gift as Lauretta, every word is a compliment.

Bri. Well, my lovee, I think this will be a good subject for us to quarrel about the rest of our lives.

Jus. Why truly, my dear, I think so, though we are seldom at a loss for that.

Doc. This is all as it should be. My Alexander, I give you joy, and you my little god-daughter; and now my sincere wish is, that you may make just such a wife as my poor dear Dolly.


The wit employed in this piece, is of a less refined character than that usually employed by Sheridan. But the characters and dialogue are too droll not to provoke laughter, in spite of any reluctance of taste. It was produced soon after the “Rivals' had obtained the author such signal reputation, and may be regarded, perhaps, as the first overflowing of a mind buoyant beyond expression with pleasure.



Don Jerome,

Don Ferdinand,

Don Antonio.

Isaac Mendoza.

Father Paul.

Lay Brother.

Margaret, the Duenna.

Louisa's Maid.

Clara's Maid.


SCENE J.-A Street.

Enter Lopez, with a dark Lantern. Lopez. Past three o'clock ! soh! a nolable hour for one of my regular disposition to be strolling like a bravo through the streets of Seville! Well, of all services, to serve a young lover is the hardest-not that I am an enemy to love; but my love and my master's differ strangely-Don Ferdinand is much too gallant to eat, drink, or sleep-now, my love gives me an appetite-then I am fond of dreaming of my mistress, and I love dearly to toast her-This cannot be done without good sleep and good liquor ; hence my partiality to a feather-bed and a bottle. What a pity, now that I have not further time for reflections! but my master expects thee, honest Lopez, to secure his retreat from Donna Clara's window, as I guess-[Music without.]-Hey! sure I heard music! So, so! who have we here ? Oh, Don Antonio, my master's friend, come from the masquerade, to sere

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