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THE

SCHOOL FOR SCANDAL:

A COMEDY.

IN FIVE ACTS.

BY R. B. SHERIDAN.

Satire has always shone among the rest,
And is the boldest way, if not the best,
To tell men freely of their foulest faults,
To laugh at their vain deeds, and vainer thoughts.
In satire, too, the wise took diff'rent ways,
To each deserving its peculiar praise.-Dryden.

NEW-YORK:

PUBLISHED BY THOMAS LONGWORTH,
At the Dramatic Repository,

Shakspeare-Gallery.

................... King.

Servants to Sir Peter,. ...... Messrs. Martin and Carter.

PROLOGUE,

WRITTEN BY MR. GARRICK.

A School for Scandal! Tell me, I beseech you,
Needs there a school, this modish art to teach you?
No need of lessons now-the knowing think-
We might as well be taught to eat and drink :
Caus'd by a dearth of scandal, should the vapours
Distress our fair ones, let them read the papers;
Their powerful mixtures such disorders hit,
Crave what they will, there's quantum sufficit.

"Lord!" cries my lady Wormwood, (who loves tattle, And puts much salt and pepper in her prattle) Just ris'n at noon, all night at cards, when threshing Strong tea and scandal-bless me, how refreshing: "Give me the papers, Lisp-how bold and free! (sips) "Last night lord L. (sips) was caught with lady D. "For aching heads, what charming sal volatile! (sips). "If Mrs. B. will still continue flirting,

"We hope she'll draw, or we'll undraw, the curtain."Fine satire, pox! in public all abuse it;

"Now Lisp, read you there at that dash and star"Yes, ma'am-a certain lord had best beware,

"Who lives not twenty miles from Grosvenor-square :

"For should he lady W. find willing

"Wormwood is bitter."-" Oh! that's me-the villain ! "Throw it behind the fire, and never more

"Let that vile paper come within my door."

Thus at our friends we laugh, who feel the dart ;
To reach our feelings, we ourselves must smart.
Is our young bard so young, to think that he
Can stop the full spring-tide of calumny?
Knows he the world so little, and its trade?
Alas? the devil's sooner rais'd than laid.

So strong, so swift the monster, there's no gagging;
Cut scandal's head off-still the tongue is wagging.
Proud of your smiles, once lavishly bestow'd,
Again our young Don Quixote takes the road;
To shew his gratitude, he draws his pen,
And seeks his Hydra, Scandal, in its den;
From his fell gripe the frighted fair to save-
Tho' he should fall, th' attempt must please the brave.
For your applause all perils he would through;
He'll fight-that's write-a cavaliero true,

Till ev'ry drop of blood-that's ink--is spilt for you.

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THE

SCHOOL FOR SCANDAL.

ACT I.

SCENE-lady SNEERWELL's house.

lady SNEERWELL and SNAKE discovered at a

table.

tea

Lady Sneer. The paragraphs, you say, Mr. Snake, were all inserted.

Snake. They were, madam; and as I copied them myself in a feigned hand, there can be no suspicion from whence they came.

L. Sneer. Did you circulate the report of lady Brittle's intrigue with captain Boastall ?

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Snake. That's in as fine a train as your ladyship could wish, in the common course of things. I think it must reach Mrs. Clacket's ears within twenty-four hours, and then the business, you know, is as good as done.

L. Sneer. Why yes, Mrs. Clacket has talents, and a good deal of industry.

Snake. True, madam, and has been tolerably successful in her day; to my knowledge she has been the cause of six matches being broken off, and three sons disinherited; of four forced elopements, as many close confinements, nine separate maintenances, and two divorces; nay, I have more than once traced her