MISS NEVILLE. Cousin Tony promises to give us more of his company at home. Indeed, he shan't leave us any more. It won't leave us, Cousin Tony, will it? >

TONY Oh, it's a pretty creature! No, I'd sooner leave my 5 horse in a pound, than leave you when you smile upon one so. Your laugh makes you so becoming.

ΙΟ

MISS NEVILLE. Agreeable cousin! Who can help admiring that natural humor, that pleasant, broad, red, thoughtless [patting his cheek], ah! it's a bold face!

MRS. HARDCASTLE. Pretty innocence.

TONY I'm sure I always loved cousin Con's hazel eyes, and her pretty long fingers, that she twists this way and that over the haspicholls, like a parcel of bobbins.

MRS. HARDCASTLE. Ah! he would charm the bird from the 15 tree. I was never so happy before." My boy takes after his father, poor Mr. Lumpkin, exactly. The jewels, my dear Con, shall be yours incontinently. You shall have them. Isn't he a sweet boy, my dear? You shall be married to-morrow, and we 'll put off the rest of his education, like Dr. Drowsy's sermons, 20 a fitter opportunity.`

25

Enter DIGGORY

to

DIGGORY. Where's the Squire? I have got a letter for your worship.

TONY Give it to my mamma. She reads all my letters first.
DIGGORY. I had orders to deliver it into your own hands.
TONY. Who does it come from?

DIGGORY. Your worship mun ask that o' the letter itself. [Exit DIGGORY] TONY, I could wish to know, though. [Turning the letter, and gazing on it]

MISS NEVILLE. [Aside] Undone, undone! A letter to hir from Hastings. I know the hand. If my aunt sees it, we ar 30 ruined forever. I'll keep her employed a little if I can. [7

MI

MRS. HARDCASTLE] But I have not told you, madam, of my cousin's smart answer just now to Mr. Marlow. We so laughed you must know, madam this way a little, for he must not

hear us. [They confer]

TONY. [Still gazing] A damned cramp piece of penmanship 5 as ever I saw in my life. I can read your print-hand very well; but here there are such handles, and shanks, and dashes, that one can scarce tell the head from the tail. Te Anthony Lumpkin, Esquire. It's very odd, I can read the outside of my letters, where my own name is, well enough. But when I come 10 to open it, it's all-buzz. That's hard, very hard; for the inside of the letter is always the cream of the correspondence.

MRS. HARDCASTLE. Ha! ha! ha! Very well, very well. And so my son was too hard for the philosopher.

MISS NEVILLE. Yes, madam; but you must hear the rest, 15 madam. A little more this way, or he may hear us. You'll hear how he puzzled him again.

MRS. HARDCASTLE. He seems strangely puzzled now himself, methinks.

A

TONY. [Still gazing] A damned up-and-down hand, as if it 20 was disguised in liquor. [Reading] Dear Sir,-Ay, that's that. Then there's an M, and a T, and an S, but whether the next be an izzard or an R, confound me, I cannot tell!

MRS. HARDCASTLE. What's that, my dear; can I give you any assistance?

MISS NEVILLE. Pray, aunt, let me read it. Nobody reads a cramp hand better than I. [Twitching the letter from her] Do you know who it is from?

TONY Can't tell, except from Dick Ginger, the feeder.

25

MISS NEVILLE. Ay, so it is. [Pretending to read] DEAR 30 SQUIRE, Hoping that you 're in health, as I am at this present. The gentlemen of the Shake-bag club has cut the gentlemen of the Goose-green quite out of feather. The odds um - odd

battle

-um-long fighting -um - here, here, it's all about cocks, and fighting; it's of no consequence; here, put it up, put it up. [Thrusting the crumpled letter upon him]

TONY. But I tell you, miss, it's of all the consequence in 5 the world! I would not lose the rest of it for a guinea. Here, mother, do you make it out. Of no consequence! [Giving MRS. HARDCASTLE the letter]

MRS. HARDCASTLE. How's this? [Reads] Dear Squire, I'm now waiting for Miss Neville with a post chaise and pair, 10 at the bottom of the garden, but I find my horses yet unable to perform the journey. I expect you'll assist us with a pair of fresh horses, as you promised. Dispatch is necessary, as the hag

ay, the hag—your mother, will otherwise suspect us. Yours, Hastings. Grant me patience. I shall run distracted My rage 15 chokes me

MISS NEVILLE. I hope, madam, you'll suspend your resent ment for a few moments, and not impute to me any impertinence, or sinister design, that belongs to another.

MRS. HARDCASTLE. [Curtsying very low] Fine spoken, 20 madam; you are most miraculously polite and engaging, and

quite the very pink of courtesy and circumspection, madam. [Changing her tone] And you, you great ill-fashioned oaf, with scarce sense enough to keep your mouth shut, were you too joined against me? But I'll defeat all your plots in a moment. 25 As for you, madam, since you have got a pair of fresh horses

ready, it would be cruel to disappoint them. So, if you please, instead of running away with your spark, prepare, this very moment, to run off with me. Your old aunt Pedigree will keep you secure, I'll warrant me. You, too, sir, may mount your 30 horse, and guard us upon the way. Here, Thomas, Roger, Diggory! I'll show you that I wish you better than you do yourselves.

[Exit]