MISCELLANIES.

THE CLOWN'S REPLY.

John Trott was desir'd by two witty peers,
To tell them the reason why asses had ears;

"An't please you," quoth John, "I'm not given to letters,
Nor dare I pretend to know more than my betters;
Howe'er from this time I shall ne'er see your graces,
As I hope to be sav'd! without thinking on asses."
Edinburgh, 1753.*

PROLOGUE,

WRITTEN AND SPOKEN BY THE POET LABERIUS, A ROMAN

KNIGHT, WHOM CESAR FORCED UPON THE STAGE.

Preserved by Macrobius.t

WHAT! no way left to shun th' inglorious stage,
And save from infamy my sinking age!

* [This is the only effusion preserved of several, which Goldsmith is said to have written while a student at Edinburgh.]

[This translation was first printed in "The Present State of Polite Learning," in 1759; but was omitted in the second edition, which appeared in 1774. Decimus Laberius was made a Roman knight by Julius Cæsar. For a long period he maintained the first character as a farce writer; but Publius Syrus at last became his rival, and carried off the applause of the theatre See Aulus Gellius, l. iii., c. 7; and Hor. Sat. lib. i. sat. x.]

Scarce half alive, oppress'd with many a year,
What, in the name of dotage, drives me here?
A time there was, when glory was my guide,
Nor force nor fraud could turn my steps aside;
Unaw'd by power, and unappall'd by fear,
With honest thrift I held my honor dear:
But this vile hour disperses all my store,
And all my hoard of honor is no more;
For ah! too partial to my life's decline,
Cæsar persuades, submission must be mine;
Him I obey, whom Heaven itself obeys,
Hopeless of pleasing, yet inclin'd to please.
Here then at once I welcome every shame,
And cancel at threescore a life of fame;
No more my titles shall my children tell;
The old buffoon will fit my name as well:
This day beyond its term my fate extends,
For life is ended when our honor ends.

THE LOGICIANS REFUTED.

In imitation of Dean Swift.*

Logicians have but ill defin'd

As rational the human mind;

[First printed in the "Busy Body," 1759; to draw attention to which publication it was announced as the production of the Dean of St. Patrick. It was included in the Dublin edition of his works, and is continued by Sir Walter Scott, who had doubtless forgotten its position in the works of Goldsmith. See Life, ch. ix.

Reason, they say, belongs to man,
But let them prove it if they can.
Wise Aristotle and Smiglesius,

By ratiocinations specious,

Have strove to prove with great precision,

With definition and division,

Homo est ratione preditum ;

But for my soul I cannot credit 'em;
And must in spite of them maintain,

That man and all his ways are vain ;
And that this boasted lord of nature
Is both a weak and erring creature.
That instinct is a surer guide

Than reason, boasting mortals' pride;
And that brute beasts are far before 'em,

Deus est anima brutorum.

Who ever knew an honest brute

At law his neighbor prosecute,

Bring action for assault and battery,

Or friend beguile with lies and flattery?
O'er plains they ramble unconfin'd,

No politics disturb their mind;

They eat their meals and take their sport,

Nor know who's in or out at court;

They never to the levee go

To treat as dearest friend, a foe;

They never importune his Grace,

Nor ever cringe to men in place;
Nor undertake a dirty job,

Nor draw the quill to write for Bob :*

* [Sir Robert Walpole, the object of so much vituperation by Swift.]

Fraught with invective they ne'er go,
To folks at Paternoster Row;

No judges, fiddlers, dancing masters,
No pickpockets or poetasters,
Are known to honest quadrupeds,
No single brute his fellow leads.
Brutes never meet in bloody fray,
Nor cut each others' throats for pay.
Of beasts, it is confess'd, the ape
Comes nearest us in human shape;
Like man, he imitates each fashion,
And malice is his ruling passion;
But both in malice and grimaces,
A courtier any ape surpasses.
Behold him, humbly cringing, wait
Upon the minister of state;
View him soon after to inferiors
Aping the conduct of superiors:
He promises with equal air,
And to perform takes equal care.
He in his turn finds imitators,

At court, the porters, lacqueys, waiters,
Their master's manners still contract,

And footmen, lords and dukes can act. Thus at the court, both great and small, Behave alike, for all ape all.

EPIGRAM

ON A BEAUTIFUL YOUTH, STRUCK BLIND BY LIGHTNING.*

Sure 'twas by Providence design'd,

Rather in pity, than in hate,

That he should be, like Cupid, blind,
To save him from Narcissus' fate.†

STANZAS

ON THE TAKING OF QUEBEC, AND DEATH OF GENERAL WOLFE. †

Amidst the clamor of exulting joys,

Which triumph forces from the patriot heart,
Grief dares to mingle her soul-piercing voice,

And quells the raptures which from pleasure start.

O, Wolfe to thee a streaming flood of woc,
Sighing we pay, and think e'en conquest dear;
Quebec in vain shall teach our breast to glow,

Whilst thy sad fate extorts the heart-wrung tear.

* [First printed in "The Bec," 1759. See vol. i. p. 18.]

["The Princess of Eboli, the mistress of Phillip II. of Spain, and Maugiron, the minion of Henry III. of France, had each of them lost an eye; and the famous Latin epigram, which Goldsmith has either translated or imitated, was written on them."-LORD BYRON, Works, vol. vi p. 390.]

[First printed in the "Busy Body," 1759. The alleged relationship of the Poet with this distinguished officer, produced very naturally an effort to celebrate him, after a death so honorable.]