ROWLEY. And lament that a young man now must be at years of discretion before he is suffered to ruin himself? MOSES. Aye, great pity! 170 SIR PETER. And abuse the public for allowing merit to an act whose only object is to snatch misfortune and imprudence from the rapacious gripe of usury, and give the minor a chance of inheriting his estate without being undone by coming into possession. SIR OLIVER. So, so-Moses shall give me farther instructions as we go together. SIR PETER. You will not have much time, for your nephew lives hard by. 180 SIR OLIVER. Oh, never fear! my tutor appears so able that though Charles lived in the next street, it must be my own fault if I am not a complete rogue before I turn the corner. 185 Exit SIR OLIVER SURFACE and MOSES SIR PETER. So, now, I think Sir Oliver will be convinced. You are partial, Rowley, and would have prepared Charles for the other plot. 189 SIR PETER. Go, perverse and obstinate! But take care, madam: you have never yet known what the authority of a guardian is; don't compel me to inform you of it. MARIA. I can only say, you shall not have just reason. 'Tis true, by my father's will I am for a short period bound to regard you as his substitute, but must cease to think you so when you would compel me to be miserable. Exit MARIA 237 SIR RETER. Was ever man so crossed as I am! everything conspiring to fret me! I had not been involved in matrimony a fortnight before her father, a hale and hearty man, died on purpose, I believe, for the pleasure of plaguing me with the care of his daughter. But here comes my helpmate! She appears in great good humor. How happy I should be if I could tease her into loving me, though but a little! 247 Enter LADY TEAZLE LADY TEAZLE. Lud! Sir Peter, I hope you haven't been quarrelling with Maria? It SIR PETER. Two hundred pounds! what, an't I to be in a good humor without paying for it? But speak to me thus and, i'faith, there's nothing I could refuse you. You shall have it, but seal me a bond for the repayment. 265 LADY TEAZLE. (Offering her hand) Oh, no -there-my note of hand will do as well. SIR PETER. And you shall no longer reproach me with not giving you an independent settlement; I mean shortly to surprise you. But shall we always live thus, hey? LADY TEAZLE. If you please. I'm sure I don't care how soon we leave off quarrelling, provided you'll own you were tired first. SIR PETER. Well then let our future contest be, who shall be most obliging. LADY TEAZLE. I assure you, Sir Peter, good nature becomes you. You look now as you did before we were married, when you used to walk with me under the elms and tell me stories of what a gallant you were in your youth; and chuck me under the chin, you would, and ask me if I thought I could love an old fellow who would deny me nothing-didn't you? 285 SIR PETER. Yes, yes, and you were as kind and attentive LADY TEAZLE. Aye, so I was, and would always take your part when my acquaintance used to abuse you and turn you into ridicule. SIR PETER. There now! who begins first? LADY TEAZLE. Why, you, to be sure. I said nothing-but there's no bearing your temper. 328 SIR PETER. No, no, madam, the fault's in your own temper. LADY TEAZLE. Aye, you are just what my cousin Sophy said you would be. SIR PETER. Your cousin Sophy is a forward, impertinent gipsy. 334 LADY TEAZLE. You are a great bear, I'm sure, to abuse my relations. SIR PETER. Now may all the plagues of marriage be doubled on me if ever I try to be friends with you any more! SIR PETER. I have done with you, madam! You are an unfeeling, ungrateful---but there's an end of everything. I believe you capable of everything that is bad. Yes, madam, I now believe the reports relative to you and Charles, madam. Yes, madam, you and Charles are, not without grounds- 364 LADY TEAZLE. Take care, Sir Peter! you had better not insinuate any such thing! I'll not be suspected without cause, I promise you. 368 SIR PETER. Very well, madam! very well! A separate maintenance as soon as you please. Yes, madam, or a divorce! I'll make an example of myself for the benefit of all old bachelors. Let us separate, madam! LADY TEAZLE. Agreed! agreed! And now, my dear Sir Peter, we are of a mind once more, we may be the happiest couple and never differ again, you know-ha! ha! ha! Well, you are going to be in a passion, I see, and I shall only interrupt you-so, bye! bye! Exit 380 SIR PETER. Plagues and tortures! can't I make her angry either! Oh, I am the most miserable fellow! But I'll not bear her presuming to keep her temper-no! she may break my heart, but she shan't keep her temper. Exit 386 SCENE II. [A room in] CHARLES Enter TRIP, MOSES, and SIR OLIVER SURFACE TRIP. Here, Master Moses! if you'll stay a moment, I'll try whether-what's the gentleman's name? SIR OLIVER. [Aside] Mr. Moses, what is my name? 5 SIR OLIVER. If he knew who it was wanted to see him, perhaps he would not send such a message. TRIP. Yes, yes, sir; he knows you are here I did not forget little Premium. No, no, no! 30 SIR OLIVER. Very well; and I pray, sir, what may be your name? TRIP. Trip, sir; my name is Trip, at your service. SIR OLIVER. Well, then, Mr. Trip, you have a pleasant sort of place here, I guess? TRIP. Why, yes-here are three or four of us pass our time agreeably enough; but then our wages are sometimes a little in arrear and not very great either-but fifty pounds a year, and find our own bags1 and bouquets. 40 SIR OLIVER. (Aside) Bags and bouquets? halters and bastinadoes! TRIP. And à propos, Moses, have you been able to get me that little bill discounted? SIR OLIVER. (Aside) Wants to raise money too!-mercy on me! Has his distresses too, I warrant, like a lord, and affects creditors and duns. MOSES. 'Twas not to be done, indeed, Mr. CARELESS. It is so indeed, Charles! they give in to all the substantial luxuries of the table, and abstain from nothing but wine and wit. Oh, certainly society suffers by it intolerably! for now, instead of the social spirit of raillery that used to mantle over a glass of bright Burgundy, their conversation is become just like the Spa water they drink, which has all the pertness and flatulence of champagne without the spirit or flavor. IST GENTLEMAN. But what are they to do who love play better than wine? 17 CARELESS. True! there's Sir Harry diets himself for gaming, and is now under a hazard regimen. CHARLES SURFACE. Then he'll have the worst of it. What! you wouldn't train a horse for the course by keeping him from corn? For my part, egad, I am never so successful as when I am a little merry; let me throw on a bottle of champagne, and I never loseat least I never feel my losses, which is exactly the same thing. 28 CHARLES SURFACE. Set chairs, Trip.Sit down, Mr. Premium.-Glasses, Trip. TRIP gives chairs and glasses, and exit -Sit down, Moses.-Come, Mr. Premium, I'll give you a sentiment; here's Success to usury!-Moses, fill the gentlemen a bumper. MOSES. Success to usury! (Drinks) CARELESS. Right, Moses-usury is prudence and industry, and deserves to succeed. SIR OLIVER. Then-here's all the success it deserves! (Drinks) CARELESS. No, no, that won't do! Mr. Premium, you have demurred at the toast and must drink it in a pint bumper. 121 |