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SCENE, A CHAMBER in an old fashioned HỌUSE.
Enter Mrs. HARDCASTLE and Mr. HARDCASTLE.

Mrs. HARDCASTLE.

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there a creature in the whole country, but ourfelves, that does not take a trip to town now and then, to rub off the rust a little? There's the two Miss Hoggs, and our neighbour, Mrs. Grigsby, go to take a month's polishing every winter.

HARDCASTLE. Ay, and bring back vanity and affectation to last them the whole year. I wonder why London cannot keep its own fools at home. In my time, the follies of the town crept fowly among us, but now they travel falter than a itage-coach. Its fopperies come down, not only as inside passengers, but in the very, basket.

B Mrs. HARES

Mrs. HARDCASTLE. Ay, your times were fine times, indeed ; you have been telling us of them for many a long year. Here we live in an old rumbling mansion, that looks for all the world like an inn, but that we never see company. Our best visitors are old Mrs. Oddfish, the cųrate's wife, and little Cripplegate, the lame dancing-master: And all our entertainment your old stories of Prince Eugene and the Duke of Marlborough. I hate such old-fashioned trumpery.

HARDCASTLE. And I love it. I love every thing that's old : old friends, old times, old manners, old books, old wine; and, I believe, Dorothy, (taking her band) you'll own I have been pretty fond of an old wife.

Mrs. HARDCASTLE. Lord, Mr. Hardcastle, you're for ever at your Dorothy's and your old wife's. You may be a Darby, but I'll be no Joan, I promise you.

I'm not so old as you'd make me, by more than one good year. Add twenty to twenty, and make money of that.

HARDCASTLE. Let me see ; twenty added to cwenty, makes just fifty and seven.

Mrs. HARDCASTLE. It's false, Mr. Hardcastle : I was but twenty when I was brought to bed of Tony, that I had by Mr. Lumpkin, my first husband; and he's not come to years of discretion yet.

HARDCASTLE. Nor ever will, I dare answer for him. Ay, you have taught him finely.

Mrs. HARDCASTLE. No matter, Tony Lumpkin has a good fortune. My son is not to live by his learning. I don't think a boy wants much learning to spend fifteen hundred a year.

HARD

HARDCASTLE.
Learning, quotha! A mere composition of tricks
and mischief.

Mrs. HARDCASTLE.
Humour, my dear: nothing but humour.
Come, Mr. Hardcastle, you must allow the boy a
little humour.

HARDCASTLE.
I'd sooner allow him an horse-pond.' If burning
the footmen's shoes, frighting the maids, and worry-
ing the kittens, be humour, he has it. It was but
yesterday he fastened my wig to the back of my
chair, and when I went to make a bow, I popt my
bald head in Mrs. Frizzle's face.

Mrs. HARDCASTLE. And am I to blame? The poor boy was always too sickly to do any good. A school would be his death. When he comes to be a little stronger, who knows what a year or two's Latin may do for him?

HARDCASTLE. Latin for him! A cat and fiddle. No, no, the ale-house and the stable are the only schools he'll ever

go to.

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Mrs. HARD CASTLE.
Well, we must not fnub the poor boy, now, for I
believe we shan't have him long among us. Any
body that looks in his face may see he's consumptive.

HARDCASTLE.
Ay, if growing too fat be one of the symptoms.

Mrs. HARD CASTLE.
He coughs sometimes.

HARD CASTLE.
Yes, when his liquor goes the wrong way.'

Mrs. HARDCASTLE.
I'm actually afraid of his lungs.

HARDCASTLE,
And truly so am I ; for he sometimes whoops like

a fpeaking

B 2

a speaking trumpet-(Tony hallooing behind the Scenes) -Othere he goes -- A very consumptive figure, truly.

Enter Tony, crossing the Stage.

Mrs. HARDCASTLE. Tony, where are you going, my charmer? Won't you give papa and I a little of your company, lovee?

TONY.
I'm in haste, mother, I cannot ftay.

Mrs. Á ARDCASTLE.
You shan't venture out this raw evening, my dear :
You look most shockingly.

TONY I can't stay, I tell you. The Three Pigeons expects me down every moment. There's fome fun going forward.

HARDCASTLE. Ay; the ale-house, the old place : I thought fo.

Mrs. HARDCASTLE. A low, paltry set of fellows.

TONY. Not so low neither. There's Dick Muggins the exciseman, Jack Slang the horse doctor, Little Aminadab that grinds the mufic box, and Tom Twist that spins the pewter platter,

Mrs. HARD CASTLE. Pray, my dear, disappoint then for one night at léast.

TONY. As for disappointing them, I should not so much mind; but I can't abide to disappoint myself.

• Mrs. HARDCASTLE. (Detaining bim) You fhan't go.

TONY. I will, I tell you.

Mrs. HARD

Mrs. HARD CASTLE.
I say you shan't.

TONY,
We'll fee which is strongest, you or I.

[Exit. bewling ber out.

HARDC À $ TLE. Solus !

HARDCASTLE. Ay, there goes a pair that only spoil each other. But is not the whole age in a combination to drive fense and discretion out of doors? There's my pretty darling Kate; the fashions of the times have almost infected her too. By living a year or two in: town, she is as fond of gauze, and French frippery, as cher best of them,

.

Enter Mis's "HARD CASTLE.

HARDCASTLE. Blessings on my pretty innocence! Drelt out as usual my Kate. Goodness! What a quantity of superfluous filk has thou got about thee, girl ! 'I could never teach the fools of this age, that the indigent world could be cloathed out of the trimmings of the vain.

Miss HARDCASTLE. You know our agreement, Sir. You allow me the morning to receive and pay visits, and to dress in my own manner; and in the evening, I put on my housewife's dress to please you.

HARDCASTLE. Well, remember I ipsist on the terms of our agreea ment; and, by the bye, 'I believe I shall have occasion to try your obedience this very evening.

Miss HARD.CASTLE. I protest, Sir, I don't comprehend your meaning.

HARDCASTLE. Then, to be plain with you, Kare, 'I expect the

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