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Ben. (L. C.) Yes, Mrs. Benson has confessed all South. Ah! now you've got it! to me. It was an act of indiscretion-she has suf- Ben. I?—what an idea ! fered deeply for her folly.

South. [Goes round him and seizes his hand, South. (R. C., looking at MRS. B., who is agitated, with the letter in it, R.) There! L. H.] Is it possible? Well, I declare-I see shé Ben. (R. C.] Well, I have got it !-what then! is agitated!

South. (R.] Let me read it-I insist on reading Mrs. S. (R., aside to TROTTER.] Will you hold -it's my right! [Trying to take the letter from your tongue ?

BENSON'S grasp South. Don't speak to me, hyena! [To BEN- Ben. What right can you have to read a letter son.) But you believe this?

written by my wife? I am the only person who Ben. Of course I do. What can you expect ? has any right to violate her secrets. [Takes letter I neglected her for my briefs as you did for your as if going to open it. turnips. Meredith was all attention, all polite- Mrs. B. (L. C., grasping BENSON'S arm.] Oh,

, ness; in short, it was as much my fault as hers— Mr. Benson! I admit it. She has told me all, and we've made Ben. [to her.) Capital! Appear terrified ! it up again-haven't we, my darling?

[Aloud.] No, Mrs. Benson, don't be alarmedMrs. B. (L.) Oh, my dear

when Benson forgives, he forgives entirely. My Ben. (aside.] Forgive my involving you—but generosity doesn't stop half way. [Benson crosses it's to save your friend.

to the fire-place, lights the letter and lets it fall, Enter MEREDITH, L. C.

burning, into the fender.] There! Here he is ! Will an avowal from his own lips

[Crosses back again to R. C. satisfy you ?

[To SOUTHDOWN. Mrs. B. (L. c.] Oh, sir! [As BENSON crosses. Mer. [c.) Tired of waiting in chambers, sir, I Mrs. S. (aside, L.) She's saved ! am come to know

South. [has quickly passed behind, to fire-place, Ben. Sir, circumstances have changed since snatched up the burning letter, throws it down L. you were last here. [Significantly.] My wife, H., and stamps on it.] Ah! we'll see! sir, has acknowledged to having written you a Ben. (putting MRS. B. round to R.] There's an letter-I say, sir, my wife

example for you, Trotter-I have forgiven my Mer. [aside.] She must have confessed. Well- wife, though she had committed an indiscretion. Ber. You confirm my wife's acknowledgment— Forgive yours—who hasn't. Come!

Mer. As she has admitted the fact, sir, I have Mrs. S. (L. c.] Ah! there are two words to no choice

that. Suppose I refuse to forgive him! Ben. [aside.] He understands exactly! I must Ben. Oh, but he shall ask your pardon on his insist, sir, on your giving me back the letter-my knees. [Crosses to L. c.) Come, Trotter, down wife's letter !

on your marrow-bones! (He forces TROTTER onto Mer. (aside.] Give it to him! Mr. Benson, it is his knees. To MRS. S. Behold him at your impossible!


(Crosses behind to R. C. Ben. I insist on having it! (aside] or South- 1 South. [on his knees.] If I could only find out down may catch sight of the writing. Come, sir, the truth! [Picks up remnant of letter and looks the letter!

at it.] Oh! there's some of the writing still legiMer. I've burnt it!

ble! Oh! oh, my wig! Mrs. S. [aside to MEREDITH.) A capital idea. Ben. [R. C.) What's the matter!

Ben. [aside.] Deucedly well imagined ! South. (L.) A sudden emotion! [A side.] It's (MEREDITH slides the letter into MRS. SOUTH- Mrs. Benson's hand, after all! [TO MRS. S.]

DOWN's hand. MRS. SOUTHDOWN approaches Then, it was— the fire-place.

Mrs. S. (L. c.] Yes. South. [up stage, R. H.] I saw him pass it to South. Oh! my wife.

Aside. Ben. (R. C.] Come, forget and forgive-follow Ben. Well, as it's burnt, of course you can't re- our example--make it up. [Kisses MRS. BENturn it—so let's say no more about the matter. son.] Poor deluded Southdown! I forgive you. [Aside to MEREDITH.] Shake South. With pleasure—with a very great deal hands-shake hands!

of pleasure, Toody! [Kisses Mrs. S., then rises Mer. (shaking hands with RENSON.] With all from his knees.] Poor innocent Benson ! my heart! (Goes up c-aside.] Hang me if I un- Ben. And now we've happily made up our derstand it? (Exit MEREDITH, L. C. SOUTH- quarrel, oblige me- [To MRS. SOUTHDOWN. DOWN crosses to fire-place.

South. (L.) Oblige BensonBen. [crosses to R.to SOUTHDOWN.] There, Benson (R. C.] With a moral. Trotter! are you convinced now?

Mrs. South. [4 dvancing a little, L. C.) South. [L.] I'll soon show you. Mrs. Southdown,

Oh, wives ! mind, billet-doux are dangerous things ; have the kindness to give me that letter!

Use Hymen's torch to burn off Cupid's wings.

Husbands ! if notes meant for your wives are sent you, Mrs. S. (L. C.) What letter?

Don't read, or the contents may discontent you. Ben. (R.) Didn't you hear Meredith say he had

Youths ! who post loves in gloves, care it demands,

That loves and gloves shall both reach the right hands; put it in the fire ?

Or you may find-'tis no uncommon caseSouth. Humbug! The letter, madame! I com

The glove misfits, and the love's out of place. mand you, by all the majesty of an offended hus

Benson (R. C.) Well summed up.

Mrs. B. (R.. pointing to audience.) To sum up the judge's task, band! [MRS. SOUTHDOWN passes the letter to Ben. [to SOUTHDOWN.) You'll'oblige me-their verdict if Mrs. Benson.) There, now! she's given the popolusk;

South. [L., to Mrs. S.) Toody !-our fate pray take the bouse's letter to your wife! Mrs. B. No, no! (MRS. B. trying to conceal the

Mrs. 8. (to audience.) You'll oblige Trotter

South. By obliging Benson ! letter, drops it. Benson seizes it.


sense on.


1 tap; your kind thought of me, Mr. Fathom, while really to speak with regret; well, I must proceed you were far away, has really affected me. at any rate-[they draw their chairs nearer, PETPet. Dear fellow, isn't he, Betsey?

TIBONE agonized] -how was it I made só little Mrs. P. Indeed he is—it is such thought, impression on you ? how was it that Pettibone such attention, that has influence over our sex. became the happy man? You can tell me now.

Frank. I hope, dear madame, that your wishes Mrs. P. You flirted so. will often occupy my thoughts, and command my Frank. Did I? attention.

Mrs. P. And seemed to be taken with every Pet. [aside to FRANK.] Ah, that's it—some- fresh face you met. thing in that way—be delicate, though.

Frank. Consider what was my age-nineteen Frank. It makes me so happy, placed as we —we are all coxcombs at that age, and perhapswere in early life, to see you thus surrounded by perhaps [they draw their chairs closer, PETTIBONE every comfort ; yet when I sometimes think of my clasps his hands in despair,] your apparent colddisappointment, I–I-Ah! well, I won't talk of ness made me affect to admire another, merely to it. (Aside to PETTIBONE.] Is that the idea ? provoke you and let you see I was not breaking Pet

. Yes, only put in a little more ardor-go it. my heart, and—and takes her hand]—well, i Mrs. P. [sighing.) Ah, my dear sir, memory wish you every happiness. [He kisses her handhas its regrets as well as pleasures.

PETTIBONE smashes a pane of glass and disPet [aside.] What? eh? what does she mean by appears—FRANK and MRS. PETTIBONE start up. that observation and that sigh? Surely she ain't Mrs. P. What's that? sorry she's Mrs. P.-oh, good heavens, if she was- Frank. A pane of glass broken.

Mrs. P. I hope you are going to make a long Mrs. P. It is those tiresome children always stay; P. has had a room fitted up purposely. throwing stones. [Loud ringing of a bell.] There's

[FRANK and MRS. P. go up and change sides. P. come back. How vexed he will be.

Pet. Only calls one P.; the first time she ever uttered that letter without the word dear; she is

Enter PETTIBONE, L., afsecting to sing. certainly looking at him very oddly, or it may be Pet. Tol lol de lol, &c. I'm come back. [Sings.] only my fancy-it is-it must—Betsey-Betsey, I'm come back-what's the matter, Betsey? You dear, (crosses to c.) I'm going to the nursery. seem confused. Frank. What a family man!

Mrs. P. I've been startled. Pet. No, the nursery garden where the bulbs Pet. Indeed! are—not the nursery where the babies are. I've Mrs. P. While talking with your friend, some ordered some—some plants. I shan't stay long. one threw a stone through one of the panes of the

Mrs. P. Oh, pray don't hurry yourself, I have conservatory. company now, you know—when I'm alone I am Pet. Oh, was that all! Never mind, Betsey. always anxious for your return; but when one has Mrs. P. Yes, dear. a friend here, and such an old friend, too, as Mr. Pet. Bring me a carving-knife-I mean a corkFathom, the little half hours slip by in a min- screw—when I say a carving knife I always mean ute.

a corkscrew. I want to open some hock—it's in Pet. Oh, her little half hours slip by in a minute. your room-don't stand staring at me as if you Ah, ha, ha! of course-of course [aside to FRANK,] didn't know what I meant—do as I bid you. you needn't go very far-just touch upon the topic, Mrs. P. Well, I'm sure-[Flounces into room. that's all-she'll resent it, I know-but-but- Pet. [eagerly, to FRANK.) Well, have you said

Frank. I'm to put her to the test, at all events. anything? made any advances ?

Pet Oh, certainly; but don't be too savage, Frank. [aside.] I can never tell him how they that's all you understand.

were received. I'm quite astonished. Mrs. P. [aside.] I'm to be put to the test, am Pet. Why don't you answer me? I? Very well, sir. Are you not going, my dear? Frank. You were gone such a short time.

Pet. Oh, she calls me dear at last ; but some- Pet. [aside.] Quite long enough-quite. times loving expressions are used the more to de- Frank. I spoke of my early attachment. ceive-yes, Betsey, I'm going—shall be absent Pet. Well ? half an hour, not longer. (Going.] Good-by. Frank. She[ Aside.) I wish I could see, be an eye-witness Pet. Yes. how she'd act-I will-I have it. Good-by. Frank. Stared vacantly at me, and said, [Going.) Oh, my kiss ! (Puts on his hat and hur- Pet. [very eagerly.] What? ries of L., after kissing MRS. P.

Frank. Nothing. Frank. [seated.] Now for my task-well, Pet. Oh! Elizabeth, how familiar it sounds to call you by Frank. Then I asked her how she came to that name, and what a variety of recollections it prefer youbrings to one's mind.

Pet. What did she say? Mrs. P. Ah! when I received your first letter- Frank. Said that I was too fickle for her. [PETTIBONE appears at conservatory at back, Pet. And what did she do then ? watching them.

Frank. Nothing. Frank. Didn't I write it in a beautiful hand ? Pet. [aside.] That's a lie! Did you get close and how I trembled when I had fairly given six- to her ? pence to a boy to deliver it. [They are seated at Frank. Yes. some distance, but advance closer to each other. Pet. And did she get close to you ? PETTIBONE watching.

Frank. [hesitating.) No. Mrs. P. And though I didn't reply to it, there Pet. [aside.] Another lie!-he's deceiving me, was a sincerity in its tone that always pleased me. but I'll keep my feelings down, and-and-did

Frank. [aside.] C'pon my word she seems you take her hand ?

Frank. Yes.

Frank. Very much, indeed. Pet. And did she snatch it away again ?

Pet. I should choke if I were to try to eat. Frank. Yes.

[MRS. P. is_seated R. of tableMR. PETTIBONE Pet. [aside.] Another lie—a diabolical lie- in C. — FRANK, L. - PETTIBONE alternately and told you she'd tell me? I knew she would, I watches them till he detects MRS. P. holding up was convinced she would. Ha, ha, ha!—now I'm the note intimating to FRANK that it is for him. happy-what a miserable devil I am-oh, what Pet. That note is for him ! [Starting up.] An villainy! [aside.] what treachery!

assignation--of course it is. Never mind, I'll find Frank [aside.) Mrs. P.'s conduct is very i them out. I'm going out again, only for few strange. I can't tell him the truth—'tis impossible minutes—I may be five minutes, perhaps ten. -well, it's his own fault, not mine. Excuse me Mrs. P. Don't be very long, dear. for a moment, I'm going to bring in my presents, Pet. No, dear. and see my box placed in my room. [Excit L. Frank. Is he often so restless ?

Pet. He's confused-he hurries from my pres- Mrs. P. Oh dear, no; the fact is—come near ence—no wonder-oh, what falsehood I've been me. [They draw their chairs closePETTIBONE told—she stare at him vacantly—she snatch her darts inthey retreat, apparently confused. hand away, when I with my own eyes saw him i Pet. Oh, I was going without my hat-that's kiss it!

all. [Aside.] I nearly caught them. [Looks at Enter MARY, L., with table-cloth. them suspiciously.] Now I'm off. Pet. Mary.

[Takes his hat and exits, L. Mary. Yes, sir.

Mrs. P. [giving note.] Peruse this at your Pet. I'm in the city all day.

earliest opportunity. [PETTIBONE again darts Mary. Yes, sir.

in, just in time to see MRS. P. give FRANK the note. Pet. How does your mistress pass her time? Pet. The note was for him, sure enough. Very Mary. Sometimes one way-sometimes another. well-go on—there'll be murder presently. Pet. Explain.

Mrs. P. Back again, dear? Mary. Works a bit and scolds a bit, and sits Pet. Yes, I forgot-I felt I thought-Lord ! at the bedroom window a bit.

I've got it in my hand.

[Exit L. Pet. [aside.] Of course—to be admired—to be Frank [reading note.] “ Continue your attennodded at by the young fellows passing the house tions.” Certainly, as you request it. [Draws on the tops of the omnibuses—when the fellows close to her ; PETTIBONE again darts in; they see a fine woman sitting at her bed-room window retreat as before. working, they always nod to them and kiss their Pet. Shan't go out at all—I tell you I shan't hands to them, I know their tricks--bring candles. go out at all—to-morrow will do. [Sits in centre.)

Mary. Yes, sir. [Aside.] What's the matter You've done as I bid you, I see-eh-ah, ah, ah! with him to-night?

[Exit L. [Aside.] I think the last time I left the room he Enter Mrs. PETTIBONE, with penknife and pen. kissed her! I could almost swear I heard the Mrs. P. P., dear.

squeak of a little kiss. Oh, if I could be conPet. Yes, dear.

vinced ! I'll conceal my feelings till I'm quite Mrs. P. (going to writing-table.) I wish you'd satisfied-quite sure; and then- Betsey, dear, mend me some pens before you go to town in the if that note you were writing just now is for any morning.

one in the city, I'll leave it for you. Pet. I will. [Aside.] Going to write to him, Mrs. P. No, no, thank you, it is not worth the no doubt—and I'm to mend the pens--I'll split trouble, and you wouldn't be so mean as to de'em all up. Betsey!

fraud the revenue of a penny. Mrs. P. Yes, dear.

Pet. How they look at each other! I've a great Pet. Nice fellow, Fathom, isn't he?

mind to jump up and tell 'em both how they've Mrs. P. Tolerable.

deceived me. No, I won't. I'll set a trap for Pet. Don't you think him very handsome ? them—ah! a good thought-I have it. Mrs. P. So, so.

Mrs. P. Selim, what's the matter with you Pet. Ain't you sorry you didn't have him? this evening? Mrs. P. What an idea! [Goes to table and writes. Pet. Nothing; I've been vexed-city business.

Pet. Affects to be indifferent. Oh, what horrid I think, as I have a moment to spare, I'll drop a duplicity-now she's writing a note to him, I don't note to the wine merchant about the empty botcare. Tol de lol, &c. I don't care. Tol de lol, &c. tles. [Takes inkstand to L. table.] He ought to take [While singing he gets near her, she draws blotting 'em away, or I shall be charged for 'em. What paper over her writing.

horrid candles! [Snuff's one out.) Why did I go Mrs. P. Now you know I never like to be to the expense of a handsome lamp, when you looked at while writing.

will burn candles ? [In trying to light it he purPet. Makes you nervous, I suppose ?

posely extinguishes the other ; stage dark. Mrs. P. Yes.

Mrs. P. P., dear, how clumsy you are ! Pet. And then you can't spell correctly.

Pet. Sit still—I'll get a light; Mary's cooking MARY enters, L., with two candles and snuffers I'll get a light. [He pours some ink on his

places them on the tableFATHOM enters, L.- pocket-handkerchief, and in passing MRS. P. conMARY erits, L.-MRS. P. has folded note. trives to leave a large patch on her nose.

Pet. It is a note she has been writing—now Mrs. P. P., what are you doing? who can it be for? Well, Frank, seen your room Pet. Nothing, dear, nothing; sit still. I'll -comfortable, isn't it?

fetch a light.

[Exit, L. Frank. Very, indeed.

Frank. Is it really your wish that I should Pet. You shall have supper directly-chops!- continue my attentions? [Getting close to her.] d'ye like chops ?

(Fiercely. Gad, she's a fine woman, and I never in my life could be in the dark with one without giving her Mrs. P. No one here! I heard P. talking of a kiss; and encouraged as I am, who could re- pistols; where can he be? Some one comes sist?

[Attempts to kiss her. Mr. Fathom, perhaps. I'll retire to my own room Mrs. P. Don't, don't! I won't allow it! how again.

[Exit, L. can you be so foolish? [Kisses her and blacks his nose.) Go away, here's P. (Lights up; Enter Mary, carrying box, and showing in a FRANK returns to his chair as P. enters L., stands

LADY veiled and wrapped in a shawl ; she places between them moonstruck at seeing FRANK's face. box on the table, and hands the LADY a chair. He trembles, places one candle on the table, and Mary. Pray sit down, ma'am, the wind has seizes MRS. P.'s arm.

blown my light out; I'll soon get another; your Pet. Woman, look at that man--look at his box is on the table; I shall not be a minute. nose. Now, go to your room—to the glass, and

[Exit, L. look at your own! come, madame, come.

[He drags her off, R. D. PETTIBONE appears at back with two large pistols. Frank. Very strange conduct; however, my Pet. poor friend is severely punished for the pains he 'Tis Betsey wrapped in her bonnet and shawl,

Gracious powers! what figure is that? has taken to test his wife's constancy, What am waiting in the dark to elope with that fellow; I to do? I can never truly tell him how my ad- and what's this ? her box corded up with all her vances have been received; he's mad.

little things ready! [Runs to LADY, and seizes Enter MARY, L.

her.] Oh, you traitoress; you horrid woman! none Mary. You're wanted, sir.

of your nonsense, you are not going to run away Frank [with his back to Mary.] Who is it?

from me in this manner; don't struggle; it's no Mary. A post-boy wishes to see you, sir.

use; I am as strong as a lion. There are two pisFrank. I'll speak to him at once. [Turns, tols on the table, and we'll go to destruction toMary laughs at him.] What are you laughing at? gether. [The LADY screams at his violence-MARY

Mary: Your nose, sir! it's all over ink-ha, ha! rushes in with lights-stage light-followed by

Frank. Then I'll make it marking ink. (Kiss- FRANK, L.—MRS.P.comes from her room, R.-PETes her and blacks her face ; she exits indignant- TIBONE surveys them all in surprise and dismay. ly.] Egad! the girl's right. How, how could

Lady (unveiling.] Sir! this happen? and Mrs. P.'s face, too; now I un

Mary. Master! derstand P.'s rage, and he must know all. Poor

Mrs. P. P., dear! P.! Let me see the post-boy, and then to con

Pet. Not Betsey !—the lady I've pulled about firm my poor friend's misery. [Exit, L. D.

so—not Betsey! Who are you, madame? Explain

before I faint away—who are you? Enter PETTIBONE, R. D.

Frank. That lady, sir, is my wife. Pet. Now, sir, I'm for you. He's gone-gone

[FRANK and LADY embrace. to elude my vengeance. As for Mrs. P., I never Pet. Your wife and really you are not going could have believed her so hardened; don't shed to elope ?-you are still your own Pettibone's a tear-won't say a word. Oh, Betsey! how could but that kiss in the dark, madame! what can reEnter MARY, L.

move that stain ? Mary, where's that man?

Mrs. P. My candid confession

Pet. Of what?
Mary. What man, sir ?
Pet. The viper.
Mary. I haven't seen any viper, sir.

was to be tried, and knowing in my heart that I Pet. (sees MARY's nose.) He's been at the maid. had thought proper to suspect me without a cause,

did not deserve such a trial, I was resolved, as you Oh! what a libertine! You know who I meanthe man with the curiosities.

for once to give you a reason for your jealousy. Mary. Oh! yes, of course; he's gone to the

Pet. (on his knees.] Oh, Betsey, forgive me! inn with the post-Doy.

Frank. This lady was married clandestinely to Pet

. Post-boy! with a post-boy !- they're me, before I left England for America ; she is here going to elope. I've a brace of pistols that I bought to shoot the cats, when I took a pride in riage may no longer be kept secret, and to-morrow my garden. I'll load 'em both to the muzzle, and a post-chaise shall take us to our happy home. fire through and through him and her too. Mary,

Pet. [rising.] Oh, my dear boy, you shall stay for

a week and witness our renewed domestic felicity. remain you here, and watch the door of that room - I'm going to look for my pistols.

[Shakes hands with LADY.] How d’ye do, madMiry [frightened.] Oh, sir!

ame ?- very glad to see you, madame. [Kisses her.

Frank. Halloa ! sir ! Pet. Äye, my pistols! if your mistress comes

Pet. from her room, say I'm gone out for the night-I'm

All right, my boy; now we're balanced gone out for a week-I don't think I shall ever such a noodle again. Come, Betsey, dear, kiss

the book, for you'll forgive me, dear; I'll never be come home any more--- now for vengeance? [Exit. Mary. What can be the matter? it's very satin dress. [She kisses him.] Hurrah! I'm for

your P. and make him happy; I'll buy you a new strange; master seems to have gone mad all at once, and such a quiet little gentleman as he used given at last; and if you [to the audience) will be to be. (Gate bell rings, L.) Some one at the equally forgiving, and I think you will, for if I

know human nature well, there's not one amongst gate; perhaps it's the viper, as master calls him, come back again. I declare the supper will be you can lay your hands upon your

hearts and say quite spoiled. [Takes the light and exits, L. stage you do not like “ A Kiss IN THE DARK.” dark; MRS. P. looks from her room, R.














Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1875, by GEORGE W. WHEAT, in the Omice of the

Librarian of Congress, at Washington, D. C.


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rings) and there it is. (Exit MARTIN, slowly.] Thank heaven! he will return to college to-morrow, and this heavy responsibility will be taken

off my shoulders. A valet is as difficult a post to I Comedy, in Five Nets.

fill properly as that of prime minister. [Exit, L. BY DION BOUCICAULT.

Young C. [without.] Hollo!
Daz. (without.] Steady!

Covent Garden, 1841. Wallack's Theatre, 1872.

Young C. Hollo-o-o!
Sir Harcourt Courtly...Mr. W. Farren. Mr. John Gilbert. Daz. Hush! what are you about, howling like
Mar Harkaway..


John Brougham. Charles Courtly..

a Hottentot. Sit down there, and thank heaven Anderson. Lester Wallack. Mr. Spanker


J. B. Polk. you are in Belgrave Square, instead of Bow Street. Dazzle.

C. Mathews. Charles Mathews. Young C. D-n-damn Bow Street. Meddle


J. H. Stoddart.

G. M. Holland.

Oh, with all my heart !-you have not Martin


M. J. Curran. seen as much of it as I have.
Lady Gay Spanker..... Mrs. Nisbett. Miss Plessy Mordaunt.
Grace Harkaway.. Mad. Vestris.

Helen Gracy.

Young C. I say—let me see—what was I goPert... .Mrs. Humby. Mrs. John Sefton. ing to say ?-oh, look here. [Pulls out a large

assortment of bell-pulls, knockers, etc., from his

pocket.] There! dam'me! I'll puzzle the twoRxITS AND ENTRANCES.-R. means Right; L. Left ; R. D. Right Door ; I.. D. Left Door; s. E. Second Entrance ; U. E. Upper Entrance ; 11. D. Middle penny postmen,—I'll deprive them of their right Centre; L. C Left Centre, &c. The reader is supposed to be on the stage, of disturbing the neighborhood. That black

lion's head did belong to old Vampire, the moneyA C Τ Ι.

lender; this bell-pull to Miss Stitch, the milliner.

Daz. And this brass griffinSCENE I.-An Ante-Room in SIR HARCOURT

Young C. That! oh, let me see -I think I COURTLY'S House in Belgrave Square.

twisted that off our own hall door as I came in,

while you were paying the cab. Enter COOL, C.

Daz. What shall I do with them? Cool. Half-past nine, and Mr. Charles has not Young C. Pack 'em in a small hamper, and yet returned. I am in a fever of dread. If his send 'em to the sitting magistrate with my father's father happens to rise earlier than usual on any compliments; in the meantime, come into my morning, he is sure to ask first for Mr. Charles. room, and I'll astonish you with some Burgundy. Poor deluded old gentleman-he little thinks how

Re-enter COOL, L. C. he is deceived.

Cool. [R.] Mr. Charles-
Enter MARTIN, lazily, L.

Young c. Out! out! not at home to any one. Well, Martin, he has not come home yet!

Cool. And drunkMar. No; and I have not had a wink of sleep Young C. As a lord. all night. I cannot stand this any longer; I shall Cool. If Sir Harcourt knew this, he would go give warning. This is the fifth night Mr. Courtly mad, he would discharge me. has remained out, and I'm obliged to stand at the Young C. You flatter yourself; that would be hall window to watch for him.

no proof of his insanity. [To DAZZLE.) This is Cool. You know, if Sir Harcourt was aware Cool, sir, Mr. Cool; he is the best liar in London that we connived at his son's irregularities, we —there is a pungency about his invention, and an should all be discharged.

originality in his equivocation, that is perfectly Mar. I have used up all my common excuses on refreshing. his duns. "Call again,” “Not at home,” and “Send Cool (aside.] Why, Mr. Charles, where did you it down to you,” won't serve any more; and Mr. pick him up? Crust, the wine merchant, swears he will be paid. Young C. You mistake, he picked me up. Cool. So they all say. Why, he has arrests

[Bell rings. out against him already. I've seen the fellows Cool. Here comes Sir Harcourt-pray do not watching the door. (Loud knock and ring heard.] let him see you in this state. There he is, just in time-quick, Martin, for Í Young C. State! what do you mean? I am expect Sir William's bell every moment, [bell in a beautiful state.

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