Ben. [L. C.] Yes, Mrs. Benson has confessed all to me. It was an act of indiscretion-she has suffered deeply for her folly. South. [R. C., looking at MRS. B., who is agitated, L. H.] Is it possible? Well, I declare--I see she is agitated! Mrs. S. [R., aside to TROTTER.] Will you hold your tongue? South. Don't speak to me, hyena! [To BENSON.] But you believe this? Ben. Of course I do. What can you expect? I neglected her for my briefs as you did for your turnips. Meredith was all attention, all politeness; in short, it was as much my fault as hersI admit it. She has told me all, and we've made it up again-haven't we, my darling? Mrs. B. [L.] Oh, my dear— South. Ah! now you've got it! Ben. I?-what an idea! South. [Goes round him and seizes his hand, with the letter in it, R.] There! Ben. [R. C.] Well, I have got it!-what then! South. [R.] Let me read it-I insist on reading it's my right! [Trying to take the letter from BENSON'S grasp. Ben. What right can you have to read a letter written by my wife? I am the only person who has any right to violate her secrets. [Takes letter as if going to open it. Mrs. B. [L. C., grasping BENSON's arm.] Oh, Mr. Benson! Ben. [to her.] Capital! Appear terrified! [Aloud.] No, Mrs. Benson, don't be alarmedwhen Benson forgives, he forgives entirely. My Ben. [aside.] Forgive my involving you—but generosity doesn't stop half way. [BENSON crosses it's to save your friend. to the fire-place, lights the letter and lets it fall, burning, into the fender.] There! Enter MEREDITH, L. C. Here he is! Will an avowal from his own lips satisfy you? [TO SOUTHDOWN. Mer. [c.] Tired of waiting in chambers, sir, I am come to knowBen. Sir, circumstances have changed since you were last here. [Significantly.] My wife, sir, has acknowledged to having written you a letter-I say, sir, my wife Mer. [aside.] She must have confessed. WellBen. You confirm my wife's acknowledgmentMer. As she has admitted the fact, sir, I have no choice Ben. [aside.] He understands exactly! I must insist, sir, on your giving me back the letter-my wife's letter! Mer. [aside.] Give it to him! Mr. Benson, it is impossible! Ben. I insist on having it! [aside] or Southdown may catch sight of the writing. Come, sir, the letter! Mer. I've burnt it! Mrs. S. [aside to MEREDITH.] A capital idea. Ben. [aside.] Deucedly well imagined! [MEREDITH slides the letter into MRS. SOUTHDOWN'S hand. MRS. SOUTHDOWN approaches the fire-place. South. [up stage, R. H.] I saw him pass it to my wife. Aside. Ben. Well, as it's burnt, of course you can't return it so let's say no more about the matter. I forgive you. [Aside to MEREDITH.] Shake hands-shake hands! Mer. [shaking hands with BENSON.] With all my heart! [Goes up C―aside.] Hang me if I understand it? [Exit MEREDITH, L. C. SOUTHDOWN crosses to fire-place. Ben. [crosses to R.-to SOUTHDOWN.] There, Trotter! are you convinced now? South. [L.] I'll soon show you. Mrs. Southdown, have the kindness to give me that letter! Mrs. S. [L. C.] What letter? Ben. [R.] Didn't you hear Meredith say he had put it in the fire? South. Humbug! The letter, madame! I command you, by all the majesty of an offended husband! [MRS. SOUTHDOWN passes the letter to MRS. BENSON.] There, now! she's given the letter to your wife! Mrs. B. No, no! [MRS. B. trying to conceal the letter, drops it. BENSON seizes it. [Crosses back again to R. C. Mrs. B. [L. C.] Oh, sir! [As BENSON crosses. Mrs. S. [aside, L.] She's saved! South. [has quickly passed behind, to fire-place, snatched up the burning letter, throws it down L. H., and stamps on it.] Ah! we'll see! Ben. [putting MRS. B. round to R.] There's an example for you, Trotter-I have forgiven my wife, though she had committed an indiscretion. Forgive yours-who hasn't. Come! Mrs. S. [L. C.] Ah! there are two words to that. Suppose I refuse to forgive him! Ben. Õh, but he shall ask your pardon on his knees. [Crosses to L. C.] Come, Trotter, down on your marrow-bones! [He forces TROTTER onto his knees. To MRS. S. Behold him at your [Crosses behind to R. C. feet! South. [on his knees.] If I could only find out the truth! [Picks up remnant of letter and looks at it.] Oh! there's some of the writing still legible! Oh! oh, my wig! Ben. [R. C.] What's the matter! South. [L.] A sudden emotion! [Aside.] It's Mrs. Benson's hand, after all! [To MRS. S.] Then, it was Mrs. S. [L. C.] Yes. South. Oh! Ben. [R. C.] Come, forget and forgive-follow our example-make it up. [Kisses MRS. BENSON.] Poor deluded Southdown! South. With pleasure-with a very great deal of pleasure, Toody! [Kisses MRS. S., then rises from his knees.] Poor innocent Benson! Ben. And now we've happily made up our quarrel, oblige me- [To MRS. SOUTHDOWN. South. [L.] Oblige BensonBenson [R. C.] With a moral. Mrs. South. [Advancing a little, L. c.] Oh. wives! mind, billet-doux are dangerous things; Benson [R. C.) Well summed up. Mrs. B. [R.. pointing to audience.] To sum up the judge's task. Ben. [to SOUTHDOWN.] You'll oblige me-their verdict if you'll ask. sense on. South. [L., to MRS. S.] Toody!-our fate pray take the house's COSTUMES MODERN. THE END. tap; your kind thought of me, Mr. Fathom, while you were far away, has really affected me. Pet. Dear fellow, isn't he, Betsey? Mrs. P. Indeed he is it is such thoughtsuch attention, that has influence over our sex. Frank. I hope, dear madame, that your wishes will often occupy my thoughts, and command my attention. Pet. [aside to FRANK.] Ah, that's it-something in that way-be delicate, though. e Frank. It makes me so happy, placed as we were in early life, to see you thus surrounded by every comfort; yet when I sometimes think of my disappointment, I-I-Ah! well, I won't talk of it. [Aside to PETTIBONE.] Is that the idea? Pet. Yes, only put in a little more ardor-go it. Mrs. P. [sighing.] Ah, my dear sir, memory has its regrets as well as pleasures. Pet [aside.] What? eh? what does she mean by that observation and that sigh? Surely she ain't sorry she's Mrs. P.-oh, good heavens, if she was— Mrs. P. I hope you are going to make a long stay; P. has had a room fitted up purposely. [FRANK and MRS. P. go up and change sides. Pet. Only calls one P.; the first time she ever uttered that letter without the word dear; she is certainly looking at him very oddly, or it may be only my fancy-it is-it must-Betsey-Betseydear, [crosses to c.] I'm going to the nursery. Frank. What a family man! Pet. No, the nursery garden where the bulbs are not the nursery where the babies are. I've ordered some-some plants. I shan't stay long. really to speak with regret; well, I must proceed at any rate-[they draw their chairs nearer, PETTIBONE agonized]-how was it I made so little impression on you? how was it that Pettibone became the happy man? You can tell me now. Mrs. P. You flirted so. Did I ? Frank. Mrs. P. And seemed to be taken with every fresh face you met. Frank. Consider what was my age-nineteen we are all coxcombs at that age, and perhapsperhaps [they draw their chairs closer, PETTIBONE clasps his hands in despair,] your apparent coldness made me affect to admire another, merely to provoke you and let you see I was not breaking my heart, and-and-[takes her hand]—well, I wish you every happiness. [He kisses her hand— PETTIBONE smashes a pane of glass and disappears-FRANK and MRS. PETTIBONE start up. Mrs. P. What's that? Frank. A pane of glass broken. Mrs. P. It is those tiresome children always throwing stones. [Loud ringing of a bell.] There's P. come back. How vexed he will be. Enter PETTIBONE, L., affecting to sing. Pet. Tol lol de lol, &c. I'm come back. [Sings.] I'm come back-what's the matter, Betsey? You seem confused. Mrs. P. I've been startled. Pet. Indeed! Mrs. P. While talking with your friend, some one threw a stone through one of the panes of the conservatory. Pet. Oh, was that all? Never mind, Betsey. Mrs. P. Yes, dear. Mrs. P. Oh, pray don't hurry yourself, I have company now, you know-when I'm alone I am always anxious for your return; but when one has a friend here, and such an old friend, too, as Mr. Pet. Bring me a carving-knife-I mean a corkFathom, the little half hours slip by in a min-screw-when I say a carving knife I always mean ute. Pet. Oh, her little half hours slip by in a minute. Ah, ha, ha! of course-of course [aside to FRANK,] you needn't go very far-just touch upon the topic, that's all-she'll resent it, I know-but-butFrank. I'm to put her to the test, at all events. Pet. Oh, certainly; but don't be too savage, that's all-you understand. Mrs. P. [aside.] I'm to be put to the test, am I? Very well, sir. Are you not going, my dear? Pet. Oh, she calls me dear at last; but sometimes loving expressions are used the more to deceive-yes, Betsey, I'm going-shall be absent half an hour, not longer. [Going.] Good-by. [Aside.] I wish I could see, be an eye-witness how she'd act-I will-I have it. Good-by. [Going.] Oh, my kiss! [Puts on his hat and hurries of L., after kissing MRS. P. Frank. [seated.] Now for my task-well, Elizabeth, how familiar it sounds to call you by that name, and what a variety of recollections it brings to one's mind. Mrs. P. Ah! when I received your first letter[PETTIBONE appears at conservatory at back, watching them. Frank. Didn't I write it in a beautiful hand? and how I trembled when I had fairly given sixpence to a boy to deliver it. [They are seated at some distance, but advance closer to each other. PETTIBONE watching. Mrs. P. And though I didn't reply to it, there, was a sincerity in its tone that always pleased me. Frank. [aside.] Upon my word she seems a corkscrew. I want to open some hock-it's in your room-don't stand staring at me as if you didn't know what I meant-do as I bid you. Mrs. P. Well, I'm sure-| -[Flounces into room. Pet. [eagerly, to FRANK.] Well, have you said anything? made any advances? Frank. [aside.] I can never tell him how they were received. I'm quite astonished. Pet. Why don't you answer me? Frank. Yes. Pet. And did she snatch it away again? Pet. [aside.] Another lie-a diabolical lieand told you she'd tell me? I knew she would, I was convinced she would. Ha, ha, ha!-now I'm happy-what a miserable devil I am-oh, what villainy! [aside.] what treachery! Frank [aside.] Mrs. P.'s conduct is very strange. I can't tell him the truth-'tis impossible -well, it's his own fault, not mine. Excuse me for a moment, I'm going to bring in my presents, and see my box placed in my room. [Exit L. Pet. He's confused-he hurries from my presence-no wonder-oh, what falsehood I've been told-she stare at him vacantly-she snatch her hand away, when I with my own eyes saw him kiss it! Enter MARY, L., with table-cloth. Pet. Mary. Mary. Yes, sir. Pet. I'm in the city all day. Pet. How does your mistress pass her time? Mary. Works a bit and scolds a bit, and sits at the bedroom window a bit. Pet. [aside.] Of course-to be admired-to be' Enter MRS. PETTIBONE, with penknife and pen. Mrs. P. [going to writing-table.] I wish you'd mend me some pens before you go to town in the morning. him, Pet. I will. [Aside.] Going to write to no doubt and I'm to mend the pens--I'll split 'em all up. Betsey! Pet. Don't you think him very handsome? Pet. Ain't you sorry you didn't have him? Mrs. P. What an idea! [Goes to table and writes. Pet. Affects to be indifferent. Oh, what horrid duplicity-now she's writing a note to him-I don't care. Tol de lol, &c. I don't care. Tol de lol, &c. [While singing he gets near her, she draws blotting paper over her writing. Mrs. P. Now you know I never like to be looked at while writing. Pet. Makes you nervous, I suppose? Mrs. P. Yes. Pet. And then you can't spell correctly. Frank. Very much, indeed. Pet. I should choke if I were to try to eat. [MRS. P. is seated R. of table-MR. PETTIBONE in C.-FRANK, L. PETTIBONE alternately watches them till he detects MRS. P. holding up the note intimating to FRANK that it is for him. Pet. That note is for him! [Starting up.] An assignation of course it is. Never mind, I'll find them out. I'm going out again, only for a few minutes-I may be five minutes, perhaps ten. Mrs. P. Don't be very long, dear. Pet. No, dear. Frank. Is he often so restless? Mrs. P. Oh dear, no; the fact is-come near me. [They draw their chairs close-PETTIBONE darts in-they retreat, apparently confused. Pet. Oh, I was going without my hat-that's all. [Aside.] I nearly caught them. [Looks at them suspiciously.] Now I'm off. [Takes his hat and exits, L. Mrs. P. [giving note.] Peruse this at your earliest opportunity. [PETTIBONE again darts in, just in time to see MRS. P. give FRANK the note. Pet. The note was for him, sure enough. Very well-go on-there'll be murder presently. Mrs. P. Back again, dear? Pet. Yes, I forgot-I felt I thought-Lord! I've got it in my hand. [Exit L. Frank [reading note.] "Continue your attentions." Certainly, as you request it. [Draws close to her; PETTIBONE again darts in; they retreat as before. Pet. Shan't go out at all-I tell you I shan't go out at all-to-morrow will do. [Sits in centre.] You've done as I bid you, I see eh ?-ah, ah, ah! [Aside.] I think the last time I left the room he kissed her! I could almost swear I heard the squeak of a little kiss. Oh, if I could be convinced! I'll conceal my feelings till I'm quite satisfied-quite sure; and then- Betsey, dear, if that note you were writing just now is for any one in the city, I'll leave it for you. Mrs. P. No, no, thank you, it is not worth the trouble, and you wouldn't be so mean as to defraud the revenue of a penny. Pet. How they look at each other! I've a great mind to jump up and tell 'em both how they've deceived me. No, I won't. I'll set a trap for them-ah! a good thought—I have it. Mrs. P. Selim, what's the matter with you this evening? Pet. Nothing; I've been vexed-city business. I think, as I have a moment to spare, I'll drop a note to the wine merchant about the empty bottles. [Takes inkstand to L. table.] He ought to take 'em away, or I shall be charged for 'em. What horrid candles! [Snuff's one out.] Why did I go to the expense of a handsome lamp, when you will burn candles? [In trying to light it he purposely extinguishes the other; stage dark. Mrs. P. P., dear, how clumsy you are! Pet. Sit still-I'll get a light; Mary's cooking get a light. [He pours some ink on his pocket-handkerchief, and in passing MRS. P. contrives to leave a large patch on her nose. Mrs. P. P., what are you doing? Pet. Nothing, dear, nothing; sit still. I'll fetch a light. [Exit, L. MARY enters, L., with two candles and snuffers——I'll Frank. Very, indeed. Pet. You shall have supper directly-chops!d'ye like chops? [Fiercely. Frank. Is it really your wish that I should contine my attentions? [Getting close to her.] Gad, she's a fine woman, and I never in my life could be in the dark with one without giving her Pet. Woman, look at that man-look at his nose. Now, go to your room-to the glass, and look at your own! come, madame, come. [He drags her off, R. D. Enter MARY, L. Mrs. P. No one here! I heard P. talking of Enter MARY, carrying box, and showing in a PETTIBONE appears at back with two large pistols. Frank. Very strange conduct; however, my Pet. Gracious powers! what figure is that? poor friend is severely punished for the pains he "Tis Betsey wrapped in her bonnet and shawl, has taken to test his wife's constancy. What am waiting in the dark to elope with that fellow; I to do? I can never truly tell him how my ad- and what's this? her box corded up with all her vances have been received; he's mad. little things ready! [Runs to LADY, and seizes her.] Oh, you traitoress; you horrid woman! none of your nonsense, you are not going to run away from me in this manner; don't struggle; it's no use; I am as strong as a lion. There are two pistols on the table, and we'll go to destruction together. [The LADY screams at his violence-MARY rushes in with lights-stage light-followed by FRANK, L.-MRS. P. comes from her room, R.—PETTIBONE surveys them all in surprise and dismay. Lady [unveiling.] Sir! Mary. Master! Mary. You're wanted, sir. Frank [with his back to MARY.] Who is it? Mary. A post-boy wishes to see you, sir. Frank. I'll speak to him at once. [Turns, MARY laughs at him.] What are you laughing at? Mary. Your nose, sir! it's all over ink-ha, ha! Frank. Then I'll make it marking ink. [Kisses her and blacks her face; she exits indignantly.] Egad! the girl's right. How, how could this happen? and Mrs. P.'s face, too; now I understand P.'s rage, and he must know all. Poor P. Let me see the post-boy, and then to confirm my poor friend's misery. [Exit, L. D. Enter PETTIBONE, R. D. Pet. Now, sir, I'm for you. He's gone-gone Mary, where's that man? Mary. I haven't seen any viper, sir. Pet. [sees MARY's nose.] He's been at the maid. Oh! what a libertine! You know who I meanthe man with the curiosities. Mary. Oh yes, of course; he's gone to the inn with the post-Doy. Pet. Post-boy! with a post-boy!-they're going to elope. I've a brace of pistols that I Mrs. P. P., dear! Frank. That lady, sir, is my wife. [FRANK and LADY embrace. Pet. Your wife and really you are not going to elope?-you are still your own Pettibone'sbut that kiss in the dark, madame! what can remove that stain? Mrs. P. My candid confession- Mrs. P. That I overheard the test by which I was to be tried, and knowing in my heart that I did not deserve such a trial, I was resolved, as you had thought proper to suspect me without a cause, for once to give you a reason for your jealousy. Pet. [on his knees.] Oh, Betsey, forgive me! Frank. This lady was married clandestinely to me, before I left England for America; she is here to meet me with the welcome news that our mar riage may no longer be kept secret, and to-morrow Pet. Aye, my pistols! if your mistress comes from her room, say I'm gone out for the night-I'm the book, for you'll forgive me, dear; I'll never be Pet. All right, my boy; now we've balanced gone out for a week-I don't think I shall ever such a noodle again. Come, Betsey, dear, kiss Come home any more---now for vengeance! [Exit. your P. and make him happy; I'll buy you a new Mary. What can be the matter? it's very satin dress. [She kisses him.] Hurrah! I'm forstrange; master scems to have gone mad all at once, and such a quiet little gentleman as he used given at last; and if you [to the audience] will be to be. [Gate bell rings, L.] Some one at the equally forgiving, and I think you will, for if I know human nature well, there's not one amongst gate; perhaps it's the viper, as master calls him, come back again. I declare the supper will be you can lay your hands upon your hearts and say quite spoiled. [Takes the light and exits, L. stage you do not like “A KISS IN THE DARK.” dark; MRS. P. looks from her room, R. COSTUMES MODERN. THE END. THE NEW YORK DRAMA A CHOICE COLLECTION OF COMEDIES, WITH FARCES, ETC., CASTS OF CHARACTERS, STAGE BUSINESS, COSTUMES, RELATIVE POSITIONS, &c., ADAPTED TO THE HOME CIRCLE, PRIVATE THEATRICALS, AND THE AMERICAN STAGE. NO.2. Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1875, by GEORGE W. WHEAT, in the Office of the VOL.1. rings] and there it is. [Exit MARTIN, slowly.] LONDON ASSURANCE: Thank heaven! he will return to college to-mor Cool. Half-past nine, and Mr. Charles has not yet returned. I am in a fever of dread. If his father happens to rise earlier than usual on any morning, he is sure to ask first for Mr. Charles. Poor deluded old gentleman-he little thinks how he is deceived. Enter MARTIN, lazily, L. Well, Martin, he has not come home yet! Mar. No; and I have not had a wink of sleep all night. I cannot stand this any longer; I shall give warning. This is the fifth night Mr. Courtly has remained out, and I'm obliged to stand at the hall window to watch for him. Cool. You know, if Sir Harcourt was aware that we connived at his son's irregularities, we should all be discharged. row, and this heavy responsibility will be taken Enter YOUNG COURTLY and DAZZLE, L. Daz. Hush! what are you about, howling like Daz. Oh, with all my heart!-you have not seen as much of it as I have. Young C. I say-let me see what was I go- lion's head did belong to old Vampire, the money- - Daz. What shall I do with them? Mr. Charles Cool. [R.] As a lord. Young C. You flatter yourself; that would be there is a pungency about his invention, and an originality in his equivocation, that is perfectly refreshing. Mar. I have used up all my common excuses on his duns. "Call again,” “Not at home,” and “Send it down to you," won't serve any more; and Mr. Crust, the wine merchant, swears he will be paid. Cool. So they all say. Why, he has arrests out against him already. I've seen the fellows watching the door. [Loud knock and ring heard.] let him see you in this state. There he is, just in time-quick, Martin, for I Cool [aside.] Why, Mr. Charles, where did you Young C. You mistake, he picked me up. Young C. State! what do you mean? I am expect Sir William's bell every moment, [bell in a beautiful state. 1 |