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Sir H. Hang me if I didn't think it all along! Lady G. Am I forgiven, Sir Harcourt ?
really deceived me?
Sir H. And you still love me? Sir H. Ahem! I won't-I won't pay a shilling Lady G. As much as I ever did. of the rascal's debts-not a sixpence!
Sir H. [is about to kiss her hand, when SPANKER Grace. Then I will—you may retire.
interposes between.) A very handsome ring, in
[Ecit ISAACS, L. deed. Young C. I can now perceive the generous Span. Very. point of your conduct towards me; and, believe
(Puts her arm in his, and they go up. me, I appreciate, and will endeavor to deserve it. Sir H. "Poor little Spanker!
Mar. Ha! ha! Come, Sir Harcourt, you have Max (coming down. Aside to SIR H.] One been fairly beaten-you must forgive him—say point I wish to have settled. Who is Mr. Dazzle ?
Sir H. A relative of the Spankers, he told me. Sir H. So, sir, it appears you have been lead- Max. Oh, no, a near connection of yours. ing, covertly, an infernal town life? ·
Sir H. Never saw him before I came down Young C. Yes, please, father.
here, in all my life. [To YOUNG COURTLY.] [Imitating MASTER CHARLES. Charles, who is Mr. Dazzle ? Sir H. None of your humbug, sir! [Aside.] Young C. Dazzle, Dazzle—will you excuse an He is my own son—how could I expect him to impertinent question ? — but who the deuce are keep out of the fire? [Aloud.] And you, Mr. . you? Cool! have you been deceiving me?
Daz. Certainly. I have not the remotest idea. Cool. Oh! Sir Harcourt, if your perception All. How, sir? was played upon, how could I be expected to see? Daz. Simple question as you may think it, it
[Exit, L. would puzzle half the world to answer. One thing Sir H. Well, it would be useless to withhold I can vouch--Nature made me a gentleman-that my hand.
There, boy! (He gives his hand to is, I live on the best that can be procured for YOUNG COURTLY. GRACE comes down on the other credit. I never spend my own money when I can side and offers her hand; he takes it.] What is oblige a friend. I'm always thick on the winning all this? What do you want ?
horse. I'm an epidemic on the trade of tailor. Young C. Your blessing, father.
For further particulars, inquire of any sitting Grace. If you please, father.
magistrate. Sir H. Oho! the mystery is being solved. So, Sir H. And these are the deeds which attest so, you young 'scoundrel, you have been making your title to the name of gentleman ? I perceive love-under the rose.
you have caught the infection of the present age. Lady G. He learnt that from you, Sir Har- Charles, permit me, as your father, and you, sir, court.
as his friend, to correct you on one point. BareSir H. Ahem! What would you do now, if I faced assurance is the vulgar substitute for genwere to withhold my consent ?
tlemanly ease; and there are many, who, by aping Grace. Do without it.
the vices of the great, imagine that they elevate Mar. The will says, if Grace marries any one themselves to the rank of those whose faults alone but you, her property reverts to your heir-appar- they copy. No, sir! The title of gentleman is ent--and there he stands.
the only one out of any monarch's gift, yet within Lady G. Make a virtue of necessity.
the reach of every peasant. It should be engrossed Span. I married from inclination, and see how by Truth-stamped with Honor-sealed with Goodhappy I am. And if ever I have a son
feeling-signed Man—and enrolled in every true Lady G. Hush! Dolly, dear!
young English heart. Sir H. Well! take her, boy! Although you are too young to marry. [They retire with MAX.
COSTUMES. SIR HARCOURT COURTLY.-First dress: Brocade morning MEDDLE.—Brown coat; white vest; dark pantaloons. dress; red slippers, cap, &c. Second dress: Black frock coat; gaiter pantaloons; cloak, and low hat. Third dress : Blue SPANKER.-First dress: Blue coat; dark vest; checkered dress coat ; pantaloons ; white vest, and black stock.
pantaloons. Second drese: Black dress coat and pants; white MAX HARKAWAY.-First dress : Brown surtout coat; white !
black trowsers; gaiters, and walking-stick. Second COOL.-Firat dress: Light coat; white rest, and black gaiter dress : Black dress suit.
pants. Third dress: Black frock coat. DAZZLE.-First dress : Green coat; drab gaiter pants; silk SERVANTS.-Livery. vest. Second dress: Light drab overcoat. Third dress: Blue dress coat; velvet rest; light blue pants, and stock.
LADY GAY SPANKER.–First dress : Riding habit. Second CHARLES COURTLY.-First dress : Green coat; light gaiter
dress : Fashionable dinner dress. pants, and cloak. Second dress: Brown coat. Third dress : GRACE HARKA WAY.-First dress : Fashionable morning Fashionable black suit.
dress. Second dress: Handsome dinner dress.
In this play the French dramatic rnle of condensing the incidents of erery separate act into a single scene is skillfully and ingeni. ously carried out. The character of Dazzle is a truthful and legitimate picture, to which, we doubt not, more than one original may be found among the
chevaliers of European cities. The plot of the play is sustained by a certain vivacity of tone and “smartness of allusion, which renders the comedy amusing in the reading as well as in the representation. The business of the scene is rarely soffered to flag; and much tact is shown in the grouping of the characters. But what many will probably regard as the most emphatic praise we could offer, is the undisputed fact, that it has been one of the most popular and attractive comedies of the day.
A notable defect in the play is the heartlessness and flippancy of its pervading tone. Max Harkaway, who is a mere repetition of the fox-hunting country gentleman of innumerable comedies, is the only individual of the dramatis persone who seems to have the most distant notion of a moral obligation or a generous impulse. It is not the absence of “noble sentiments," but of redeeming traits to which we allude. The Courtlys, father and son, are weak, unprincipled libertines, the fool prevailing in one, and the scamp in the other. Lady Gay Spanker is a monstrous, and, tre trust, a wholly imaginary creation. No woman of any pretensions to breeding or good sense would treat a husband, were he even so much of an ass, in the manner she does.
A CHOICE COLLECTION
THE NEW YORK DRAMA
CASTS OF CHARACTERS, STAGE BUSINESS, COSTUMES, RELATIVE POSITIONS, &c.,
ADAPTED TO The Home Circle, Private THEATRICALS, AND THE AMERICAN STAGE.
Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1876, by GEORGE W. WHEAT, in the Office of the
Librarian of Congress, at Washington, D. C.
facing the audience.
would never tolerate any disrespect in any one to MY HUSBAND'S
you, particularly in the case of a servant; were
such a thing even probable, you cannot surely say farce, in One Act.
that I set a precedent.
Mrs. F. (with great indignation.] Yes, sir, you BY WALTER DEVEREUX WHITTY, ESQ. do. When a gentleman so far forgets himself as
to take his servant into his confidence, the serCAST OF CHARACTERS.
vant, of course, takes his cue from his master.
Vaudeville, London. Mr. Augustus Fitzherbert.
Fitz. Ha, ha, ha! why, what delusion is this? Straps (his Serrant)
L. Fredericks. You cannot imagine how absurd you are making Mrs. Augustus Fitzherbert.
Miss Nelly Walters. Mary (Lady's Maid)...
Lizzie Russell yourself
, Louisa. Miss Jemima Wiggles (Aunt of Fitzherbert).. Richards. Mrs. F. Pray what is all this whispering con
tinually occurring between you and Straps ? And EXITBAND ENTRANCES. R. means Right, L. Left: R. D. Right Door; l/why, sir, has Straps orders to detain all your Door. RELATIVR Positions. -—R. means Right; L. Left ; c. Centro; R. C. Right letters ? There must be something very disgraceCentre, L. C. Left Centre, &c. The reader is supposed to be on the stage, ful in your correspondence, or I should not be
excluded from a knowledge of it. ACT I.
Fitz. Well, come, give me another cup of tea, SCENE I.-Breakfast-room in MR. FITZHERBERT'S
and I'll tell you all about it. [MRS. FITZHERBERT
gives tea—FITZHERBERT again refers to paper. house, at Sydenham. Window, C., backed by garden; doors R. and L. 2 E. MR. and MRS.
Mrs. F. Well, sir, I am all attention! FITZHERBERT discovered at breakfast-table,
Fitz. How unfortunate! I find that the funds c., the former L. of table, reading paper, the are down this morning, and shall have to run up latter R. of table.
to the city to see my broker.
Mrs. F. As I expected. Mr. Fitzherbert is Mrs. Fitzherbert. You might put down your 'never at a loss for an excuse! The funds, indeed! paper, sir, and pay a little attention to what I am I see your object—you are determined to break saying.
[Beginning to sob. Fitzherbert. My dear, I am never indifferent to Fitz. My angel !you'll exhaust my patienceany remarks you may choose to make.
do take your breakfast. Mrs. F. Indeed, sir; then perhaps you will be Mrs. F. I shall not take my breakfast, sir; I'll good-natured for once in your life.
never eat another morsel. I'll starve myself, and Fitz. You know, my darling, the sole object of then, sir, you will be tried for manslaughter. my existence is your gratification.
Fitz. If you are resolved to make a fool of yourMrs. F. Very well, sir; then I may count on self, I cannot help it. [Looking at his watch.] your dismissing that odious, vulgar, impudent I've just ten minutes to catch the train—[rising servant man of yours.
from table] -and put my coat on. I shall be home Fitz. My dear, your aversion to Straps is unac- to dinner, darling. countable, if not ungenerous.
Mrs. F. [crying bitterly.]. Then you'll not find Mrs. F. [beginning to cry.] There, sir, you say 'me here, sir, on your return. I shall seek protecyou only live for me, yet in no one instance do you tion from such ill-usage and neglect with papa consult my happiness!
and mamma. Fitz. Now, Louisa, don't be foolish ; what can Fitz. Oh, no, you'll think better of that! [About be your objection to Straps ?
to embrace her.] Won't it give its dear Augustus Mrs. F. In the first place, I can't endure him, a kiss ? and in the second, I think you are much too Mrs. F. [repelling him.] No, sir, never-never familiar with your servant. Endeavor to recollect,' again! You have now forfeited all right to any Mr. Fitzherbert, that you are no longer a bachelor affection I might have entertained for you. in chambers at Oxford, but a married man, and Fitz. You'll make yourself ill, darling. moving in respectable society; and again, sir, Mrs. F. Then I shall die the sooner, sir. your unbecoming condescension has destroyed all Fitz. Oh, it's only joking; you'll be better presthat respect which Straps ought to observe to- ently-bye, bye, honey! I'll send your maid to wards his master's wife !
you. [Going to wing.] Mary, come to your misFitz. There, my love, you do me injustice ; I tress ; she's got a headache.
Enter MARY, L.
never said a truer thing in the whole of his hamiMary. Oh! my dear mistress, what is the mat- able career. ter?
Fitz. Very well, Straps. [Crossing to L.) Such Mrs. F. My heart is broken, Mary! Your being the case, you see the danger I shall be in if master is a brute !
you fail me! Mary. La, mum, that handsome gentleman! Straps. Give yourself no more hanxiety, sir, 'cos Mrs. F. How do you know he is handsome, you when Straps says he'll do a thing he means itminx ?
it's a wirtue which shone in our family, and hif Mary. La, mum, I've heard you say so a dozen you can heradicate that wirtue in the last of the times !
race, you'll lick Hannibal, as we used to say at Mrs. F. You naughty girl. I never said any- Hoxford, thing of the sort! he's an ugly, provoking monster.
Fitz. [at door, L.] All right, I'll rely on you. Mary. Well, mum, you are so contrary-I hope
[Exit L. I haven't offended you, mum.
Straps. Vell, I pities master, that I does, for Mrs. F. I am not vexed with you, Mary.
such a swell as he is, too, it's a melancholy case; Mary. Don't make any apology, ma'am, I begs. hif any hold haunt oʻmine vas to hinterfere with I bears no ill will, especially with such a pretty, my matrimonial harrangements, I'd heither give kind mistress as you is, mum.
her a startling hinterview, or hinvite her to a cup Fitz. [without.j Straps, bring me my boots—the otea, sweetened with harsenic-to say nothink of strong ones, you rascal.
the sprinklin' on the muffins and butter to foller! Mrs. F. There's your master, Mary; let me get
Enter MARY, with bonnet on, door R. to my own room; and, Mary, I shall want you to go to the circulating library and get me the new Mary. Good morning, Mr. Straps. novel, “Mabel, the Mildewed.”
Straps. What, Mary, my popskyvopski ! [Exit, followed by MARY. Mary. None of your imperance, if you please, Enter FITZHERBERT.
Mr. Straps. Fitz. Where is that Straps? Straps, you vil- hinnocent 'art, I wouldn't say a word as 'ud 'urt
Straps. Imperance, my charmer! vy, bless your lain, are you bringing those boots ?
an 'air of your beautiful 'ead on no account votEnter STRAPS.
somhever. But how spruce we are this morning. Straps. (talking as he advances.] I'm a comin', Is it a bank ’oliday, or what is it? You hactually sir. (Appears at door with boots.] Lor', sir, what looks 'andsomer than ever-hi never claps my an 'urry you are in; here's your boots with a heye on such a real right down slapbang Wenus reg'lar Crystil Palas polish on 'em; vy, you can as you is, but love swells out my manly bosom to see your face in 'em like a looking-glass-take a such a hextent, that it busts all the buttons off sight, sir. (Holds them up to FITZHERBERT's face, my vestcoat, and as the black man says in the who kicks him behind.] Oh, sir! you've touched á play, “ Ven I loves you not, chaos is come agin.” tender chord.
Mary. Lor', Mr. Straps, why, you talk just like Fitz. (putting on boots.] Straps, any letters a book. this morning?
Straps. Ah, my poppet, that's in consequence Straps. Not as I'm aweer on, sir. Between of my being hedicated at Hoxford ! I took my deyou and me and the bedpost, sir, I think that ere gree at Brazenface, in Halmer Mater. postman's heither taken to intoxicatin' liquors, or Mary. Lor', Mr. Straps, what degree did they he's fallen a wictim to the measles; there's a lot give you? on 'em about.
Straps. Bachelor o'harts, my love. Fitz. Lot o what?
Mary. Oh! what cruel people! but you are not Straps. Measles, sir, floatin' about in the hut- going to remain a bachelor, I hope, Mr. Straps, most fear.
are you? Fitz. Well, Straps, you must keep a sharp look- Straps. Oh, dear, no ! not if I knows it—not if out; I'm sitting on thorns.
my popskyvopski will let me lead her to the hyStraps. Well
, sir, that's an huncommon disa- menial halter, as they says in the noosepapers. greeable seat for a gentleman as has a country seat, Mary. Oh, you insinuating creature! and one as I'd never choose o' my own haccord. Mrs. F. [without.) Have you gone, Mary!
Fitz. Straps, things are coming to a climax, Mary. Oh, lor', there's missis ! I must run you must be extra diligent; if your mistress away, Mr. Straps.
[Crosses to door L. should get to know my secret, the game is up. Straps. Vy, vere are you hoff to, my 'Iland lasStraps. Well, sir, I'll do my best to prevent sie?
(Bringing her to c. things going to a climax, but where that ere place Mary. To the circulating library to bring missis is I'm not in a position to lay my finger on, as a novel, and to call at the post-office. my 'graphical edication was sadly neglected. Straps. To the post-office! (Aside.) Here's a
Fitz. You know her handwriting, Straps ? go—vot the doose vill master say, should she get
Straps. Her 'andwriting? I should rather hold of his letters ? Vy, there'll be a heruption think I do. I wasn't a heruption obuttons in like a sackful of squibs. [TO MARY.] Never your haunt's 'ouse at Brompton for nothink. Oh, mind the post, my turtle dove, I'll look arter that. no, I'm tolerable familiar with the rummy ways Mary. You needn't trouble yourself, Mr. Straps; of that ere elderly party.
I know my place, not like some people I could Fitz. Well, Straps, of course you're aware that mention, but won't for fear of 'urtin' their feelings. were my aunt to be cognizant of my marriage, all Straps. Now vot's your little game-vot hare my expectations from that quarter would vanish you a drivin' at ? into thin air, as Macbeth says.
Mary. I know all about it, Mr. Straps-missus Straps. Mr. Macbeth was right for once—he has told me all.
[Gets to door L.
Straps. [Seizing her.] Here, you mustn't go. Straps. Brilliant, did you say, ma'am! Why,
She boxes his ears and exits, door L. the big wigs was so pleased with master that they Gone to the post-office=why, she's sure to get gave him a hongcore, as they do at the theyaters, hold of master's letter. I must foller or perish in and actually hallowed him to go back to his hone the hattempt. [About to go out at door, L. room, and work it all over agin. Enter MRS. FITZHERBERT, R.
Mrs. F. [wiping her eyes-aside.] Poor AugusMrs. F. Straps !
tus! How he must have thought of me in the midst Straps. Yes, mum.
of all his triumphs. (TO STRAPS.] It must have Mrs. F. Where are you going ?
been a proud moment for him, Straps. Straps. Goin', ma'am–I was only goin'- Straps. Proud ! bless yer, master warn't a bit Mrs. F. Going! Where?
proud, he arn't that sort; but he had to take to Straps. Well, mum, if you wants to know very the wet towel and soda water agin. Why, they particular where I was goin' to, I was a going to used to say, at the Black Bull, that Mr. Fitzhertake Cæsar and Pompey for their constitootional. bert kept a manufactory of soda water so 'ard a
Mrs. F. Oh, never mind taking the dogs out goin', that they 'ad to hadvertise for fresh 'ands in to-day, I shall want you to look after the green- all quarters of the huniverse. house this morning. Straps. [Aside. I shall be floored, that's hev
Enter MARY, door L. ident.
Mrs. F. (with great agitation.] Well, any letters! Mrs. F. What did you say, Straps ?
Straps. coming down L. of MARY.] Åre there Straps. Nothing, ma'am; I was merely holdin' any letters for master, 'cos if there is, you will a private hexamination as to the hextent of miy please, young 'oinan, 'and 'em over to Samivel agricultural knowledge, and the opinion of the Straps, Esquire. jury is as it's exceedingly questionable.
Mrs. F. Straps, leave the room, sir ! Mrs. F. You will do very well, Straps, for what Straps. (going off:] My hye, if they ain't a been I require.
[Sits R. of Ć. table. and gone and done it! (Whipering.] Mary! Straps. Very well, mum. [Aside.). If this [MARY turns round and shakes the letter at him here ain't a snare to entrap me—a combined hac- in triumph. Aside.] Good heavens, there's the tion of the henemy! [Aloud.] Very well, mum, d- -d billy dux—my legs his a givin’ way. Hi I'll do my best, and the best can do no more know master'll screw my neck out, but has I'm What is it to be, mum-is it to be a bucket? not to blame, it'll be a slaughter of a hinnocent! Mrs. F. A what?
[Erit. Straps. A bucket, mum.
Mrs. F. [excitedly.] Now Mary, the letter! Mrs. F. What's a bucket
Mary. Here you is, mum, and as you 'nostiStraps. Why, mum, one of them nosegay things catedyou ladies are so fond of smellin' on when you Mrs. F. (faintly.) Oh, Mary, say it is not in a goes out to swell parties.
woman's handwriting! Mrs. F. Oh, a bouquet.
Mary. Well, mum, I won't, only I'm sure it is Straps. Yes, mum, a bokay. You'll excuse my not a man's. I'm quite positive of that, mum! pronunciation of the Greek language; hat Hoxford Mrs. F. (sinks into a seat.] Give it to me, and we only devoted ourselves to Latin, and them let me know the worst. [MARY gives the letter there light sort o' things.
with great alarm, looking at letter and bursting Mrs. F. I think you were a good deal with into tears.] Too true—too true! (In a passion your master at Oxford.
of grief:] Oh, Mary-Mary, my heart is broken! Straps. Lor' bless you, mum, we was hinsepar- Straps. [peéping in at door.) Here's a go! Hi able, we was; we was has hinseparable as the wish I could issue the card of invitation at once Siamese twins. They used to say of hi and master to that old haunt, bless'd if I wouldn't invite a as we were a regʻlar pair of demons and pity us. select party to meet her.
Mrs. F. (aside.] Oh! how could Augustus tol- Mrs. F. Well, Mary, what are we to do? erate such familiarity. (TO STRAPS.] Your mas- Mary. (sobbing.) Well, mum, I think we'd better was a great scholar.
ter have a good long cry first. [Both weeping. Straps. Oh, master knows a deal, he do. Wis- Straps. [at door.] If this 'ere vork continues, hi dom oozes out of master like perspiration; he was shall have to run for the parish engines. Why more like a perambulatin' cyclopedy than a human the deuce don't they open the letter ? creetur. Lor', mum, it would have made your Mary. Are you better, mun ? eyes sore to a' seed him in the morning with a wet Mrs. F. Yes, I feel much relieved. towel wrapped round his head; and, oh! the Mary. Ah, mum, there's nothing like a good passion he 'ad for soda water at them ere times, it cry when you feels in the humor; it's so cheerful was 'stonishin', that it wor'.
like, mum. Mrs. F. Indeed ! I suppose that was in conse- Mrs. F. Mary, would there be any harm in our quence of his having worked so hard at night? opening the letter? Straps. Hexactly, ma'am. Many's the time I've Mary. Not by no means, mum.
Hif a young seen him sit up hall night and fall off his cheer man of mine was to carry on a correspondence out oʻsheer exhaustion, and then I've took com- unbeknownst to me, I should think it but right passion on 'im and carried 'im up to bed, where and proper to make myself acquainted with their he lay for all the world like a babe in the wood, billy duxes. and I the only little robin left to cover him.
Straps. (at door.) Oh! you're a nice werdent Mrs. F. (aside.] Poor Augustus ! And this was hinnocent, you are, but I shouldn't be such a fool to make himself worthy of me; alas! how he has as master. degenerated. (To STRAPS.) I think I've heard Mrs. F. Well, I think you're right, Mary. he passed a brilliant examination, Straps.
Mary. That's right, mum, that's right, just take you believe it, those idiots actually gave her the a peep at it first.
direction! Mrs. F. (starting.] Oh! Mary, my worst fears Straps. The hasses ! are realized.
Fitz. But I may lead the old lady a chase yet; Mary. No! are they, mum ? Then shall we any letter from her? have another good cry?
Straps. Let-ter-si—r ? Oh, sir, forgive me Mrs. F. Look here, look here ! This —this— take compassion on the wictim of a' orrid plot ! [looking at signature of letter] this bold hussy
[Falls on his knees. this Jemima Wiggles, dares to address my hus- Fitz. Why, what do you mean—what ails the band as her “Dear Augustus.”
man! You've been drinking, sir ! Mary. Oh! the impertinent minx. Who'd a Straps. I vish I'ad; but as I told you this mornthought it?
ing, that 'ere postman's taken to intoxicating Mrs. F. Hear what she says. [Reading letter.) liquors. “My dear Augustus.—You wicked boy to run Fitz. What the devil is the meaning of all this? away and leave me.” Mary, I shall faint. Speak out, you rascal, or I'll break every bone in Mary. Go on, mum, go on, mum.
[Seizes him by the throat. Mrs. F. What, faint, Mary?
Straps. Mind my juggler, sir-mind my juggler! Mary. No, mum, you can do that after you've Fitz. Speak out, sir ! read the letter.
Straps. Well, sir, the letter's come--
• Fitz. Wish you had it! Why, who has it, then ? Mary. Go on, mum, go on.
Straps. Missis, sir ! Mrs. F. [continuing letter. ] “So expect me Fitz. (seizing him again.) You infernal idiot, down by the four train, and don't be silly and you gave it her. Now tell me a falsehood and I'll make any fuss for me, as the charm of your socie- choke you ! ty will amply compensate for any shortcomings in! Straps. Well, sir, our Mary deserted to the the entertainment.--Yours very affectionately, henemy, and while she was sent to the post-office, Jemima Wiggles." (MRS. FITZHERBERT drops missis kep me here. the letter and falls fainting in chair, R. of table. Fitz. Fool that I was to trust to that. [To
Straps. [at door.] Hurra! she doesn't come till STRAPS.) Get out of the room, lily-faced knave, four. I think we can blindfold the old crow after or I'll pitch you through the window ! [Kicks him all. [Disappears. MRS. FITZHERBERT sobs bitterly. off, door L.]' So the cat's out of the bag at last,
Mary. Oh! don't take on, mum, please don't; it and I suppose I must go through with it. Now hurts my feelings.
for Louisa, and here she comes ! Mrs. F. Oh, Mary! I shall never be able to hold Enter MRS. FITZHERBERT, door R. up my head again. To think that I should be a I hope you are better, love, yet you look pale; this party in a case of bigamy. The monster! what is, indeed, folly. have I ever done to merit such treatment?
Mrs. F. Augustus—Mr. Fitzherbert-I must Mary. Aye, indeed, mum, the monster—the request of you to be serious for once. wicked monster—these men—these men, mum, Fitz. What! not yet recovered from the mornthey're all alike--wolves in sheep's clothing! ing's attack, my dear ? Had I known this, I should
Mrs. F. But I shall be revenged, Mary. Oh, have remained in town. yes, I shall have my revenge! This matter shall Mrs. F. Aye, sir; had you known what I have disbe fully laid before the public, that they may covered, you would indeed have remained in town. arrive at a proper conclusion.
Fitz. My dear, I am not in a humor for joking. Mary. That is right, mum—them's my senti- I think—a—that you have a letter for me. ments, precisely—shall I send for the police, mum ? Mrs. F. [beginning to cry.] Would it had never
Mrs. F. Not yet, Mary, not yet—we must be come into my hands! cautious. Take me to my room before your mas- Fitz. Show it me, my darling, and let me see ter returns, and I'll give him a surprise—such a whether it justifies your extraordinary reception surprise!
[Exit door R. of me. (Hands it to him--he reads it and bursts Mary. Aye, such a surprise—the begimal mon- into a loud fit of laughter. ster!
[Exit door R. Mrs. F. This levity is most unbecoming, Mr. Enter STRAPS, door L.
Fitzherbert, not to say unkind; “my wrongs
should make me sacred.” Straps. Straps, you're undone—Straps, you're Fitz, (still laughing.] Louisa, you are a mystery, a gone coon-Straps, I'm not at all prepared to and did I not love you I could positively feel angry. swear but what you're in himinent peril of 'avin' Now, listen to me; the writer of this letter is in your bones made into a razor paste the very every way entitled to my regard and affection, moment your master 'as the honor of meeting you. and when you know her better, as you shall do, [Noise without.] Talk of the devil and here he you will find that she not only merits my respect, comes-now for a rumpus.
but also has claims upon yours. Enter FITZHERBERT, hurriedly, L.
Mrs. F. Augustus, I don't understand you.
Fitz. Exercise a little patience, dear, and all Fitz. Straps, our hiding-place is discovered ! shall be satisfactorily explained. This lady (pointStraps. You don't say so?
ing to letter] states, as you are aware (MRS. FITZFitz. I called at the club in Pall Mall, where HERBERT holds down her head] that she will be they informed me that a person corresponding with here at four (referring to watch] ; it is now five the description of my aunt had been there the day minutes to that hour. You shall be present at our before, and inquiring for my address, when, would interview and judge for yourself.