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Mrs. F. Augustus, you speak in riddles. last week with Captain Popperton, or really I
Fitz. Everything shall be explained, Louisa, at should have divorced you. [FITZHERBERT seizes four o'clock.
AUNT WIGGLES by the hands and kisses her.] Enter STRAPS, door L.
There, there, you are forgiven. (To MRS. FitzStraps. I wants a word with you, sir, on the Q. T. HERBERT.] And now, my dear, our acquaintance Fitz. Q. T.; why, what's that?
must be improved. Straps. Lor, sir, didn't you larn that at Hox- Mrs. F. [throwing her arms around AUNT ford ? Q. T.'s short for quiet, sir.
WIGGLES.] 'Oh, you dear old creature ! [TO Fitz. Well, then, short for quiet, speak out.
FITZHERBERT.] So, Augustus, this was your Straps. Must I really, sir—with misses here mighty secret ? and all ?
Fitz. None other, my dear. Fitz. Did you not hear me say so, sir ?
Mrs. F. Well, I appreciate the motives that Straps. Oh, well if I must, sir-she's come. prompted you to silence. This is but another Fitz. Show her up, Straps.
proof of your affection for me. Straps. What, into this 'ere room, sir ?
Fitz. Ah, I told you this morning how anxious Fitz. Into this room, Straps.
I am to make you happy; you did not believe me Straps. [aside.] Oh! I see how it is-master's then-can you doubt me now? been lunchin' at the club. (Exit, door L. Mrs. F. [embracing him.] No, nor never will
Fitz. Now, my dear, you will see how absurd again, not even when you do not show me your you were making yourself.
letters. Enter STRAPS, showing in AUNT WIGGLES, door L.
Fitz. No; but if they are in a lady's hand
writing! Straps. This way, mum; here's the boy with the raven socks as you used to be so fond of at Bromp- know your aunt's again.
Mrs. F. Ah! but you forget, my love, I shall ton. (FITZHERBERT rushes to her and kisses her. Erit STRAPS, L.
Aunt W. Well, now, my children, as I shall have Aunt W.'Oh! you truant — you naughty, get my things off.
a great deal to say to you both, let me first of all wretched boy, to run away from poor old me. So
Mrs. F. You shall have the best room in the you thought me an old chatterbox, did you? And house, dear aunt, and mind, you must stay at it's here you have been hiding all this long time. Honeysuckle Cottage forever evermore—shan't Well, I have half a mind to give you a good scold- she, Ġus ? ing; but come, you must have much to tell me,
Frtz. If she only will, we will be the happiest and I'm dying to hear all the news. [Observing couple in the world. MRS. FITZHERBERT.] A lady! Ah, à neighbor,
[The three embrace, R.
Aunt W. There, there, my children, kiss your I suppose. Gus, pray introduce us.
old aunt, and we can talk of that another time. Fitz. My dear auntMrs. F. [aside.) What is this? Aunt !
Enter STRAPS, door L., followed by MARY. Fitz. Do you remember a pretty little girl I Straps. (seeing them embrace.] There's a tria told you I had fallen in love with at a juvenile huna in juncta, as we used to say in Hoxford. party once, during my old schooldays?
My dooty to you, mum-glad to see you lookin' so Aunt W. Aye, indeed, you silly creature, you well ; why, I werrily believes as you're a-growin’ got quite thin that time with fretting after the younger, that I do, mum. little miss.
Aunt W. Ah, Straps, I am glad to see that you Fitz. Do you also recollect, aunt, my telling you are still with your young master, but I thought that none other but that pretty little girl should you too would have been married by this time. ever be your Gussy's wife?
Straps. Vy you see, mum, Straps is villing, but Aunt W. That I do; but pray to what may all in these matters two parties must decido. Hi this tend?
think as ’ow this 'ere young 'ooman (pointing to Fitz. To this, my dear aunt: the love for that MARY] can explain my position in society. pretty little girl grew with manhood ; the lady Mary. Not I, Mr. Straps; you know you told you see is the same little girl, and more, your me you were a bachelor of harts. Gussy's wife.
Straps. Ah, my popskyvopski, but you have the Aunt W. Gus, Gus, what is this I hear, your wife? power to confer new honors on me.
Fitz. My dear aunt, I own I have not done you Mary. How so? right. Be this my apology. [Bringing MRS. Straps. Vy, bif you and me pays a wisit to the FITZHERBERT forward.] Had I never seen the hymeneal halter, Straps becomes master of a late Miss Johnson, perhaps you might have found divinity. me a partner; and though you may visit with Mary. (taking his hand. Oh, what an insinuvatyour displeasure what you may deem an indiscre- ing creature it is, to be sure! Well, there's my hand. tion on my part, I shall never cease to regard you Fitz. Well, shall we adjourn? but with the deepest affection.
Mrs. F. I have just a few words to say to our Aunt W. Now I see it all; this explains your friends in front. [Coming forward.) My dear sudden disappearance from town. Well, well
, ladies, you that are married, and you that are what an extraordinary boy you are! But it's just about to be married, permit me to offer a word of like you, you rogue.
advice: never doubt the affections of your husFitz. Oh, aunt !
bands--have full confidence in their love for you, Aunt W. Tut, tut, say no more about it. If and depend upon it you will escape all the misery the lady is as good as she looks, I don't think you which I have experienced in endeavoring to fathom have made a bad choice, but it's rather lucky MY HUSBAND'S SECRET. for you, you naughty boy, that Bessie Grey eloped
"That which pleases long, and pleases many, must possess some merit."-DR. JOHNSON.
A CHOICE COLLECTION
THE NEW YORK DRAMA
CASTS OF CHARACTERS, STAGE BUSINESS, COSTUMES, RELATIVE POSITIONS, &c.,
The Home CIRCLE, PRIVATE THEATRICALS, AND THE AMERICAN STAGE.
Entered according to act of Congress, in the year 1875, by GEORGE W. Wheat, in the Office of the
Librarian of Congress, at Washington, D. C.
my wife's early love, and made her an offer when
Two FLATS AND A SHARP: he couldn't afford it. I hate early lovese no one
ever marries a first love, and they're a nuisance all
through after life. Now why doesn't Eva come * Comedietta, in One Nct.
to supper I do detest being kept waiting for
supper when I'm tired. Her mother is positively BY ALFRED MALTBY.
ruining her; and unless I assert myself, I shall
lose every bit of authority I possess. I can't ring CAST OF CHARACTERS.
for a servant, as I sent them all to bed; they have
been up four nights in succession. I shall not
Globe Theatre, London.
[Paces the room. Mrs. Major Keye (Eva-E Flat).. Mrs. Minor (B Sharp)..
Eva. Mamma won't go to bed, Arthur; she perEXITS AND ENTRANCES.-R. merns Right; L. Left ; R. D. Right Doori la sists in sitting in her arm-chair, and saying that Door. RELATIVE POSITIONS.-R. means Right; L. Left ; c. Centre ; R. C. Righe something is going to happen-she is far from Centre, L. C Lett Centre, &c. The reader is supposed to be on the stage, well. [Pause.) I said, Arthur, she is far from the .
well. ACT I.
· Arthur. If you expect me to say I'm surprised
-I'm not. If you expect me to say I'm sorrySCENE.— Interior. C., opening ; doors R. and I'm sorry to say I cannot say I'm sorry,
L.; fireplace up L.; a vase filled with paper Eva (laying back in arm-chair, which stands spills on mantel-piece ; supper laid for three ; against small card-table, L. c.) You appear to be piano R.; chairs, &c. As the curtain rises in one of your choice moods to-night. ARTHUR is discovered standing at entrance at
Arthur. Yes, indicative mood. back, with his mother-in-law, who has a bed
Eva. You mean imperative. candle in her hand.
Arthur. I mean precisely what I say. And,
moreover, let me tell you, that thanks to the influMrs. Minor. [kissing him on forehead.] Good ence of your precious mother, I am gradually benight, dear.
coming a nobody in my own house. Arthur. Good night-good night.
Eva. And the probabilities are, your temper [Exit Mrs. MINOR, C. R. will not allow you to regain your position. Of [Turns to audience, and pulls a wry face.] Dose what or whom do you complain now ? as before. That old woman is the bore of my Arthur. Of Chalker; if your mamma chooses to existence; this having to kiss and fondle one's invite him here to dinner, she may dine with him, mother-in-law night and morning, morning and I won't. night, is slowly but surely driving me to an early Eva. Poor Chalker! [Goes to chair at table, sits. dinner-I mean the other thing. The end of it Arthur. If he comes here, we dine out. (Sits. will be, I shall flare up and probably call her Eva. Really, Arthur, this sounds a trifle ridicuraspberry vinegar, then she'll call me an unfeel- lous; surely you don't wish me to think you are ing monster, go away, and—we may be happy. jealous. It's all very well to have one's mother-in-law for a Arthur. Perhaps I am; and I don't quite know few weeks after marriage, just to put one's house but that I should be better pleased if I saw a little in order, but hang it, here she has been these of that quality in you. seven months, and has no more intention of mov- Eva. Î fancy I have heard that jealous women ing than that piano! I forgave her trying to are those who best know man's wicked nature: so graft Eva onto old Broker; I even overlooked suppose jealous men are those who best know her misdirected energy in the matter of marriage themselves. settlements; but this continual shadow, falling Arthur. Thanks, many thanks. You are unbetween oneself and every object in life, is becom- doubtedly profiting by your mother's society. ing unbearable. Just now Chalker came into our However, distinctly understand, I refuse to meet box at the opera—doosed if she didn't ask him to Chalker. I'm not going to have him here gloating dinner! I hate Chalker, not because Chalker is over me, and congratulating himself on having his name—that's bad enough—but because he was nibbled the bait and missed the hook.
Eva. This is downright rudeness. A certain confound it-people ask me which is my wife. amount, or rather an uncertain amount of temper And, good heavens, if she happens to be overone expects, and gets it, as inevitably as sand on looked in the matter of invitations, one has to get a sponge; but euch rudeness as
up a lot of frothy indignation and quarrel with Arthur. I've long wanted to let you know my one's best friends. mind, and I make use of this opportunity.
Eva. Poor dear mamma !-what am I to do Eva. I shall be glad of any opportunity to know with her!
Arthur. Marry her to Chalker, and beg him Arthur. It's decided, at least, on this point. think it's you. Of course Chalker's love was merely brotherly, Eva. Arthur, this is beyond endurance. You first loves always are; besides, you have quite would wish me to turn mamma out of doors, and enough change of society in your cousins. There's bid her seek shelter under the mercenary roof of young, Fitz, every time he comes here: “Ah, strangers-perhaps to perish, unloved, untended, how d'ye do, Eva, dear ?”—bang goes a kiss. Then and uncared for. Captain Bruce: Ah, Eva, little lady, how do P” | Arthur. Now, Eva; now, whenever I am about -bang goes another, and hang me if you don't to propose anything practical or reasonable, you seem to like it. Do you think these cousins would invariably burst into that circulating library mankiss and fondle you if you had bad teeth and a ner of yours. squint ?
Eva. If you go on much longer in this unreaEva. And, pray, have I no reason to complain? sonable way you will compel me to say something Don't you invariably kiss Minnie when you meet? extremely unpleasant. A bell rings.] That is
Arthur. Oh, Minnie; oh, that's quite another mamma's bell. [Goes to bell at fireplace. matter. Minnie and I have played together since Arthur. What are you going to do? we were so high.
Eva. Call up one of the servants. Eva. So, also, have I and Captain Bruce. Arthur. No-pardon me-no; I won't have the Arthur. Yes, but you're a woman.
servants dragged out of their beds to tuck up that Eva. Well, isn't Minnie?
old woman. Arthur. Yes, of course; but then you see that Eva. Then I must go myself. [Aside.] He's -oh! it's no use arguing with a woman. I ob- fearful to-night. Mamma is so irrepressible. ject, and that ought to be sufficient.
[Aloud.] As my presence seems so irritating, I Eva. And would be, had you told me without shall not return. this rudeness and loss of temper.
Arthur. Leave the keys; I shall have a cigar. Arthur. [angrily.] Now-now-Eva-now this Eva. [putting keys on table.] Do. [Aside.) He is too bad. "You know very well that if there is cannot well quarrel with that, although it would anything I pride myself on, it is my coolness on not surprise me if he rang for the tongs to curl all occasions; and if you will persist-I say if you the smoke his own way.
[E.cit Eva. will persist—[About to bring his hand violently Arthur. [goes to sideboard and gets cigar box.] down upon table. MRS. MINOR puts her head in Now is my time. I either do assert my supremacy at entrance at back.
in this house, or lose it forever. Ugh! when unMrs. M. My loves, my loves, it is fearfully fortunate man gazes on the young boughs of matlate.
rimony, and thinks how pleasant it must be to sit Arthur. [aside.] The shadow again. [
[Aloud.] and whistle among the green foliage, he little We shall not be many minutes, shall we, dear ? thinks, until it is too late, what a quantity of bird
Eva. No, love. A little more tongue, pet ? lime he is perched on; and when the autumn Arthur. Not any more, thanks, dear.
comes and the leaves turn yellow, there he is still, Mrs. M. Will Arthur have a cigar after sup- glued fast and whistling feebly. (Looks at cigar.)
Marriage, my friend, is like you in many ways; Eva. Will you, love ?
notably, it gets more bitter as you near the end. Arthur. Probably, dear. Mrs. M. Don't be late—you both look tired.
Enter Eva. Eva. And bored.
Eva. Mamma is not so well; she wants some Mrs. M. Eh?
brandy. Eva. And bored, ma.
Arthur. How can she expect to be well? She Mrs. M. No doubt; the theatre was dreadful- ate enough ices to freeze her izto a respectable ly close. Once more, don't be late. Good night! iceberg, and now she wants brandy to thaw her. Eva. Good night, ma!
Eva. You are rather worse than when I left you. Arthur. [imitating her.] Good night, ma! Arthur. What wound doesn't become worse by
[Exit MRS. MINOR. constant irritation ? I wish to goodness you would make your ma un- Eva. Will you put in the brandy ? derstand that I didn't marry her.
Arthur. By jove, yes! [Eagerly pouring brandy Eva. Mamma is quite alive to that fact. In- into a tumbler. deed, it was only yesterday she remarked how for- Eva. Stop, stop!-what are you thinking of ? tunate for you you had not her to deal with.
Arthur. son [Eva gives him a severe look, Arthur. But I have her to deal with-that's and exits, c. to R., with brandy.] If she drinks just it. She's becoming a jolly old nuisance. all that, she's booked for a headache all day to
Eva. Arthur, you are forgetting yourself. morrow, or I'm no judge of brandy. All this
Arthur. I don't care-kick I will! Whenever sounds very brutish and ill-tempered. I detest I take stalls at the theatre or opera, she must being thought unkind to Eva; but what caged choose them ;-when I want a quiet drive she animal does not get irritated when continually lop-lollops all over the phaeton ;-at the sea-side poked at with sticks and umbrellas :—although I she stalks about in feeble imitation of you, until don't think she cares half as much for me as she
did. I believe ber mamma weighs out her daily Mrs. M. Is this a mistake? [Holding up locket. ] affection every morning with the kitchen butter. Sixty guineas at least. Is the word Ellen a misShe says I'm jealous—is she? No!—and nothing take-encircled by an emblem of eternal conwould make her. [Goes to vase and takes out a stancy? Is this direction a mistake? Miss Ellen spill.] Why doesn't Eva get a proper spirit-lamp Wallace—is she a mistake? No, no. Long have for one's cigars; it seems to me to be part of a I suspected and watched; now behold the realizawoman's mission on earth to make spills. [Is tion of my doubts ! about to light cigar with spill, stops suddenly and Eva. All true—too cruelly true! blows light out.) What's this ? Chalker's name? Mrs. M. Come, my love; be yourself—be firm. [Reads. ] “ Yours, my dear Mrs. Keye, most I hear the monster's footfall, so will retire, and sincerely-Chalker.” My dear Mrs. Keye-then leave to you the honor of unmasking him. [GoChalker's been writing to my wife unknown to me. ing.) Should he become unmanageable, there is I thought her mother's gush meant something, the bell. (Points to bell.] You carry your weaAny more? [Throws spills on table and searches.] pons here. [Taps her forehead.) Your armor I wonder how long I've been lighting my cigars here. [Points to heart.) Am I not with you ? with these precious billets. Perhaps there are Be firm!
[Exit R. C. with a grand air. more on the mantel-piece in the library-stop
Enter ARTHUR. here's another! (Reads.] “Above all, don't tell your husband, he is so—” Well, on my life, Arthur. [aside.) I cannot find another word. this is too much! There must be more in the Eva. [aside.] I will be quite firm. He will library—I'll look; and if so, I'll crush her and her scarcely dare to mention her voluntarily. designing mother like a couple of black beetles. Arthur. [aside.] She will scarcely dare to men
[Erit. tion him unsolicited. [Aloud.] Ma any better? Enter Eva, hastily.
Eva. Thank you, much. [Aside.] Perhaps it
would be as well to go quite away from the subject. Eva. Not here! So much the better. What Arthur. [aside.] I had better gradually lead up base, mean treachery! Scarcely has the newness to Chalker. worn off the marriage presents when he is making Eva. I'm sorry to be again compelled to renew them to another. What shall I do? Better å the subject, but mamma says she doesn't see how thousand thousand times I had remained blind in we can, with any grace, put off Chalker to-morrow. my ignorance, than to have my eyes thus cruelly. Arthur. [aside.) Well, I'm- Well, of all theopened, only to see that his love is a sham, and (Checking himself.] Oh, indeed-ah-well—I'm truth with him a mere cipher! Away at once glad of that, as I have changed my mind; I wish with all feelings of duty or honor-down with the to see Chalker. frail barrier of affection--and let me alone remem- Eva. On business? ber that I have an indignity to avenge, an insult Arthur. Decidedly not pleasure. to be atoned for!
Eva. You'll find him a much nicer fellow than
you anticipate. Enter Mrs. MINOR, R. C., with hair in curl papers.
Arthur. No doubt, a sort of person one would
grow quite fond of. Mrs. M. Let me entreat you, Eva, to be calm- Eva. Oh, quite, when you know him as above all things be calm! Lose your coolness- thoroughly as I do. damn your cause.
Arthur. [aside.) Upon my word, this passes all Eva. Ma !
belief-to my very face! Mrs. M. That is, ruin your cause. Be calm. Eva. Ma says that, in spite of his connection
Eva. It is easy for you to bid me be calm ; you with business, he is very superior. Indeed, she have not loved him as I have.
would be much pleased if you would cultivate him. Mrs. M. Scarcely, my dear. I knew what he Arthur. No doubt. (A side.] Hang me if they was from the first!
don't want to keep Chalker in stock, in case anyEva. Oh, cruel, cruel! All his love, all his thing happens to me! jealousy, one long falsehood !
Eva. He is remarkably well connected. His Mrs. M. My love-my love!
mother was a womanEva. The hoped-for happiness of a lifetime de- Arthur. Indeed ! stroyed for a paltry trinket. But I will find her Eva. Of considerable county in luence. Unforout— I will go to her, and offer her a locket of tunately, his fathertwice the value of this to relinquish him!
Arthur. Was a man! Mrs. M. My love, what are you thinking of? Eva. Scarcely, for he ran through his wife's Do nothing of the kind. Crush this sort of thing fortune and influence in a very short time. at once and forever. Serve him as I served your [Aside.] I cannot keep up this meaningless war father under similar circumstances.
of words much longer. Eva. Did he, then !
Arthur. You have his pedigree quite by heart. Mrs. M. My dear, they all do. Men are all Eva. Oh, quite; mamma takes such an interest alike, only the bad ones get found out. Do as I in him. [Aside.] He is growing fearfully angry. did-soar high above him in the ethereal and calm Arthur. Your precious mother takes an interest consciousness of your rights; then fall upon him in everything pernicious to my welfare—[raising with the overwhelming weight of your wrongs, and his voice]-and out of this house she goes, by crush him ;—not like the insignificant emmet of George! for of all the oldthe poet, but gradually and painfully, like a slow Eva. Spare me these epithets. Mamma has and relentless cart-wheel !
quite determined to leave here; she intends living Eva. No, no; may not this be some hideous with Aunt Fluffy. mistake!
Arthur. Poor Aunt Fluffy !-thank goodness!
Eva. (quietly.) And I accompany her.
Eva. Then I request that you will open it for Arthur. (shouting.) You what?
[Hands him letter. Eva. And I accompany her.
Arthur. (putting it quietly into his pocket.] ByArthur. Take care, Eva-take care—you are and-bye, perhaps. First, I have, what your estitreading on very unsafe ground. If once you mable friend chalker would, in his business-like leave this house, you never return.
way, call a little contra account to settle with Eva. [quietly. ] Quite so—I never return. you. (Handing the partly burned spill.] Do you
Arthur. Very well-very well; if you prefer recognize that handwriting? your mother to me, by all means let it be so. This, Eva. I do. then, is the end of all!
Arthur. You do? Eva. [still quietly.] By no means—this is merely Eva. Certainly-it is a portion of a letter writthe beginning of the end.
ten by Mr. Chalker. Arthur. What do you mean? [Aside.) Can she Arthur. To you? know I have found out about Chalker
Eva. To me. Well? Eva. Thanks to my mother's sagacity, I have Arthur. You admit it? been permitted an insight into your very estima- Eva. Assuredly. ble character, and have been enabled to deter- Arthur. You do not appear to be aware that I mine the exact value of your love and jealousy. hold in my hands sufficient proofs to disgrace you
Arthur. All this sounds very heroic, but I in the eyes of the world. should be better pleased with an explanation. Eva. To say nothing of those in your pocket.
Eva. (aside.] I can be calm no longer. [Pro- Arthur. And pray, how long have I been perduces locket.] Do you recognize this! (ARTHUR mitted to light my cigars with those precious starts.) I ask, do you recognize this?
billets ? Arthur. (sighs.] Alas, yes!
Eva. I should say this is the first attempt. Eva. You do?
Arthur. Don't prevaricate more than is conArthur. I do. Sixty-five guineas, without the sistent with human nature, I beg—and that? engraving.
[Hands second spill. Eva. You admit it?
Eva. (calmly.] And this ? [Reads.] “ Above all, Arthur. I do. From whence did you obtain it? don't teħ your husband, he is so- Well, this Eva. Mamma found it in
simply confirms my remark. Arthur. (firing up.) Well, of all the—well, upon Arthur. Is the remainder of this letter in exmy-how dare-I say, how dare she go—how istence ? dare that old woman interfere with my private Eva. It is. matters? How dare she go poking her lumpy Arthur. I desire to see it. nose into my desks and drawers ! This impu- Eva. Eh? dence is unbearable?
Arthur. I desire to see it. Eva. Scarcely so flagrant as this. [Shows lock- Eva. [quietly putting the spills in her pocket.] et.] Am I right in premising that this was meant By-and-bye, perhaps. for some_woman
Arthur. So!-it's a challenge ;-my letter for Arthur. You are quite right. Eva. This to my face?
Eva. Really, the sagacity you evince is quite Arthur. Certainly! (A side.) Hallo! by George! startling. she's jealous, the little pet-I mean byena.
Arthur. Now, mark me! I never hoped to be Eva. And I am to accept this as the witness of called upon to use that authority the law has how you have kept your oaths to me?
given me, but you compel me to go further than Arthur. [bows-aside.] Isn't she splendid ? a request, and I now demand the immediate proDidn't know she had it in her. Hanged if she duction of that letter. doesn't remind one of a rocket when it bursts far Eva. [controlling herself.] In return for yours. above us; we cannot believe that so much beau- Arthur. I warn you :—you are placing yourself ty and brilliancy was contained in such a shell of in a very false position. paper.
Eva. I accept the responsibility. Eva. And you imagine (with that innate con- Arthur. You refuse? ceit so predominant in man) that I shall sit qui- Eva. Firmly. etly down under this degradation, and whine Arthur. Very well; as mutual confidence, relike a punished school-girl. No! I will prove to spect and affection are by you destroyed, I am you that there is something more in me than willing that you accompany your mother, as propassive love and obedience. Look, sir, to your- posed. self.
Eva. With all my heart! Arthur. Listen to me.
Arthur. By all means; with all your heart. Eva. Spare yourself humiliation by paltry ex- Eva. [aside.] Two more words, and I should cuses. I am in possession of all particulars. have burst out crying, and spoilt all. Arthur. Oh, you are, are you?
[Goes to piano-sits. Eva. Your indifference implies I am not. Is the Arthur. [L., aside.] She has seriously doubted name of Miss Ellen Wallace unfamiliar ?
me, possessing no proofs :—-have I not cause to Arthur. Not at all.
doubt her, possessing proofs ? Eva. I have simply waited for your presence to
[Sits in arm-chair at fireplace—a pause. open this letter.
[Produces letter. Eva. [aside.] If he would only go to bed, and Arthur (suddenly.] NoI forbid that-you'll leave me. spoil the joke!
Arthur. [aside.) She may go to bed when she Eva. Joke!-A joke that will end grimly. pleases. I remain here. [Aloud.] Do you intend Arthur. Still I forbid you to open that letter. retiring to-night!