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Polly. Wanted to take the child away, indeed! Polly. No, no, you can't see her yet.
What next? [Seated at table.] I won't ask you, D'Alroy. But, Polly, I must-
Major, to take tea with us. You're too grand ! Hautree. Oh, George, your sudden appearance-

[Sam seated L. of table. Sam. If you turn the tap on full pressure, she'll Hautree. (draws chair to table R. of it.] Not at explode. all-not at all! [Aside.] Upon my word, these D'Alroy. Not to see her—to love her—to kiss are a very good sort of people.

her! [Stamps.] I will see her! Polly. You must light up, Sam.

Polly. 'Sh. Sam. Don't! I like this sort of twilight. It's D'Alroy. I'll wake her. not business, but it's agreeable.

Polly. Worse than that, you'll wake the baby. Polly. Sugar, Sam?

D' Aroy. [carelessly.] Baby? what baby! Sam. Put it in my cup.

Polly. Your baby. Polly. Do you sugar, Major ?

D'Alroy. Mine? mine? Hautree. If you please. [Is amazed at SAM'S! Polly. (naively.) Didn't you know there was a cutting bread and handing him butter on the point baby? Oh, the ignorance of these men ! of same knife.

Hautree. Yes, you're a father, George. Polly. Oh, there isn't any milk! Well, it's near D'Alroy. Why didn't you tell me of all this behis time. He won't be long, now. I won't wake fore! up Esther, though she hasn't had much to eat to- Polly. How could we, when you were dead ? day.

Sam. And hadn't left your address. Sam. Shall I run out for some s'rimps ?

D'Alroy. I must see the child, then; it won't Polly. Now, what on earth made you think of be too much emotion for its nerves. shrimps, Sam ?

Polly. It's asleep in its mother's arms. [D'ALSam. (eating.) They're consoling!

ROY rushes up R. POLLY stops him.] No, you [Milkman's call off" R. 1 E.] Mee-yo!

mustn't. The excitement might kill her, and you Polly. Oh, here he is! Come in, Ben! wouldn't like that! I'll go for it. You'll be as quiet Enter, R., D'ALROY, milk-pitcher in hand, to table.

as you can, won't you ?

(Exit R. 2 E.

D Alroy. My baby! This is a surprise. D' Alroy. He hung it on the railing, and I

[TO L., shakes Sam's hand. thought I'd bring it in! [HAUTREE pushes his Sam. Same to you, sir. chair back. POLLY sees D'ALROY's hand on pitch- D'Alroy. [to SAM.] You've seen it; what's it er, follows it up to arm and to face, puts down her like? cup, and dives under table. Sam, bread in hand, Sam. Well—why, it's sort of a hinfant. ducks under table.] What's the meaning of this ? D'Alroy. [at mantel-piece.] My sword !—The Polly. Oh, oh, oh! the ghost! the ghost!

map of India? Sam. Don't you be afraid, Polly! I'll take care Enter POLLY, R. 2 E., with baby. D'ALROY of you!

crosses up to her. D' Alroy. Oh, Hautree! You bere! (Hand out. Polly. You must be careful! Esther won't have Hautree. (springs up.] Not dead ?

it touched for the world. [SAM dances and runs D'Alroy. Dead? No? Where's my wife? up against HAUTREE at fire-place, L. 1 E. Hau

Hautree. My old friend alive! You were re- TREE crosses to R. front. ported dead!

D'Alroy. But I am the father!
D'Alroy. It wasn't true, then! [Front. Polly. It doesn't matter!
Sam. [rising, bites his bread.] He's not dead, D'Alroy. Boy or girl ?

[Up R. Polly.

Polly. Guess! Polly. [rises.] Not dead! (Comes cautiously to D'Alroy. Boy? [POLLY nods.] Ah! what's his touch D’ALROY; falls into his arms.] George! name? George! (Hysterical laugh. Sam bites POLLY'S Polly. Guess ! finger.

D'Alroy. Eustace-Fairfax-Algernon-Ah !D'Alroy. Be calm, my girl. Where's Esther? My name?

(POLLY nods. Hautree. Here

SAM. Why, sir, there don't seem room enough D'Alroy. In town?

in him to hold so many names, do there, sir ? Hautree. In this house.

D'Alroy. To come back and find myself dead, D'Alroy. Then you did know I was back. You and my wife a widow with a new love, agedgot my telegram ?

how old did you say?

My boy, how old are you? Hautree. Where from?

(Baby in his arms.] What's his weight ! I should D' Alroy. Southampton.

say two pounds to nothing! Ah! you are surHautree. No! Where did you send it?

prised! My brave boy, I'll buy you a pony toD'Alroy. To the club.

morrow. Here, take him, Polly! I'm afraid I'll Hautree. I have not been there these three days. bend him! (POLLY puts baby in cradle.

Polly. Oh, George! To think you dead, and Hautree. Come, Ď'Al., tell us how you came to have you come back all alive-oh!

come back? D'Alroy. Where's Esther?

D' Alroy. By-and-by, by-and-by! It is too Polly. In her room!

long a story. Polly, tell me about Esther. D'Alroy. In her room?

Polly. It was after she was sold out she came. Hautree. She has been so ill, George. There D'Alroy. Sold ! was the excitement of your supposed death, and Sam. Yes. All her furniture. my arrival with confirmation of it. They have Hautree. It couldn't be helped. Mrs. D'Alroy shaken her sadly.

was so poor! D'Alroy. My poor girl! my poor girl! Let me D'Alroy. I don't understand :-I left her some see her.

money, some six hundred pounds.

Hautree. She gave it to her father, and he Sam. Polly, if you— banked it in his name.

Polly. I shall! D'Alroy. Then she has been in want?

Sam. [angrily to POLLY.) Oh! Polly. No; in trouble, but not in want. There Polly. Sam took the money he had been saving were kind friends who advanced her money. up against making me his wife, and that put it off

D'Alroy. What friends? You? [Polly indi- till now! But we're going to be married now, cates HAUTREE, who turns away. D’ALROY takes ain't we, Sam? HAUTREE's hand. You ! thank you, old fellow ! D'Alroy. [comes L. to shake SAM's hand.] Thank

Sam. (aside.) Now who'd a-thought that long you, my friend. swell had it in him! And he never mentioned it. Polly. It has been quite silent ever since you

D'Alroy. So papa Eccles had the money- went away, but I'll play it to-night, if I die an old Sam. And blewed it.

maid ! Polly. The fact was, papa was very unlucky on Sam. Oh, Polly! the race-course. He told us that if it had not been Hautree.' [hands in pockets leaning on piano. for his calculation having been upset by a certain Aside.] Now, who would have thought that that horse winning, that had no business to win, he'd little cad had it in him? And he never mentioned have made all our fortunes! Ah, father is a very it. [Aloud.] George, your mother is in town. clever man—if you give him rope enough.

D'Alroy. Really? D' Alroy. I'll give him rope enough. Ah! [To Hautree. I'll go see her in Grosvenor Square. HAUTREE.) You are right, old fellow. There is Will you come ? something in Caste after all. (To POLLY.] Tell D'Alroy. And not seen my wife yet—and such me all about it.

a wife ? NO! Polly. Well, after you went away baby was born. Hautree. Good-bye, then. I feel so glad, you Such a darling—so like you—with your eyes ! know, to have thought you were dead, and now find D'Alroy. Cut that!

you alive. [Goes up R., stops, comes to Sam, L.] Polly. Before a great while, one day, there came Mr. Gerridge, I fear that I have on several occaa letter from India, not in your handwriting. I sions made myself particularly offensive to you? feared from the black seal. I opened it. It said Sam. Well, sir, you have! that you had been captured and killed. I didn't Hautree. I did not know you then as I do now. know what to do. I asked father, but he was too I beg your pardon. Here is my hand. I hope tipsy to understand. The doctor said Esther must you will forget and forgive. not read it—it would kill her! Day after day Sam. (shaking hands.] I think I have made passed, and I kept it from her. At last the doctor myself offensive to you, sir, many times. I didn't said that we must write a letter and read it, pre- know you, then. I hope you will forget it and tending it came from you. He told Esther that forgive me. And when you marry that young her eyes were bad, and so I read the letters to her. lady that I hear you are engaged to, and should But she knew they were not from you.

want anything in the gas-fitting line-[offers circuD' Alroy. She knew it ? Esther did ? How? lar] “I'opes by a constant attention to business"Polly. Yes. The doctor said that she was one of

[Polly pulls Sam away. those highly organized women who know every- Hautree. Then I'm off to the Square. [Exit. thing that happens to the persons they love. He D' Alroy. But poor Esther! We're forgetting her. said that towards her husband, she was-—what Polly. So we are. I must break it to her. was the word ?

D'Alroy. But how Hautree. Clairvoyante ?

Polly. I don't know. But Providence will send Polly. Yes. So we told her all.

it to me, that sent you back. (Opens R. 2 E. D. D'Alroy. What did she do?

D'Alroy. [at R. 2 E. D.] Oh, Esther ! I'll marry Polly. She pressed baby in her arms, turned her over again, and we'll have a second honeyher face to the wall, and never said a word. Well, moon! She is coming down the stairs ! then came the scene with father. She said he . Polly. No. You can't see her. It is quite dark. had robbed her and her child. Father went from D'Alroy. It isn't often a man can see his widow. the house and swore he would never come back. Polly. It isn't often a man wants to. Now be

Sam. Don't be afraid! He did go back! good, and don't come till I call. [Pushes D'ALROY

Polly. Yes. He was always too fond of his dear out R. 2 E.) Sam, I don't know what to do. What children to keep away. Father has his good shall I do? points—when you find them out.

Sam. Have a piece of bread and butter. Sam. When you find them out!

Polly. [running about.] I'm so-so glad! I'm Polly. Poor Esther! she sold all and came here. frantic! Šam, kiss me! (Sam kisses her.] How I D'Alroy. Why did she not apply to my mother? wish I could go tell Esther he's come back.

Polly. Father wanted her to, but she was too Light the gas, Sam, light the gas. We'll illumiproud. She said she would die first!


(Runs out R. 2 E. D'Alroy. There's a woman! Caste's all hum- Sam. I'm glad the swells are gone, for I can bug! [TO HAUTREE. Sees piano.] Why, how's open my safety-valve, and let my feelings escape. this? Here's the very piano I bought for her. I Who'd a thought of this? The dead man comes can swear to the silk!

to life, and back from India, just as I'm going to Polly. Yes. That was bought in at the sale. open my new shop. I'll light everything up!

D'Alroy. (offers HAUTREE his hand.] Thank [Dances. Sings as he lights the two gas-burners you, old fellow!

over mantel, and two candles for L. table, and a Hautree. Don't thank me! I was in India at third on piano.) There, I ought to be given an the time.

appointment of gas-fitter to the Queen ! (Gas up, D'Alroy. Who then ?

fully on. SAM takes tray from table to imitate Polly. By

coat of arms.) A lion and a hunicorn over my

up, here!

door doin' nothin'—with the lozenge between Polly. Not dead! She don't recognize him-them. [Puts tray on table.] Poor Esther! [In gone mad, you know. Claude shows her a bit of chair l.) To think of my knowing her when she ribbon–oh, I want a bit of ribbon ! [TO L. 1 E. as was in the ballet line, then in the honorable line, if to take down sword-knot.] This will do! and then a mamma! no honorables is mammas ! Esther. No, no! not that! Don't touch that, And D'Alroy come back all the way from India Polly ! to find a baby and fittings all ready for use! Poor Polly. Why not? thing! There she is, lying with her eyelids hot Esther. Polly, you have heard of George! I and swollen, while that great big dragoon is see it in your eyes. I know you have! Oh, I can awaiting out there in the dark, ready to fly at her bear it, indeed I can! Tell me—tell me !——he is lips, and half strangle her in his powerful loving not-dead ? arms! I'm so glad-I feel so queer. (Hands to eyes. Polly and Sam. No!

Esther. Thank heaven, thank heaven! You say Enter POLLY, R. 2 E.

he lives—he lives! I knew it! I had a bright and Polly. Now, then, Sam, what's the matter with happy dream of him just now! I saw him as I you?

slept! He is near-he is here! [c.front, facing audiSam. Nothing! The water's up my meter! ence. Polly plays the piano, then march, Act 2.] ESTHER enters R. 2 E. Sam dances up R.

Oh, give me some token of his presence—some sign!

Come to me! let me touch you ! let me feel your Esther. (smiles sadly.] How you have lighted arms clasp me ! Come to me, George, come to me!

Sam. The fact of the matter is, Polly and I are D’ALROY enters R. 2 E. D., comes down softly going to be married-[up R.]-" and 'opes by a

and acts as ESTHER says. constant attention to "-India-business—I'm off Esther. I can bear the sight of you! Husband, my burner! (ESTHER looks into cradle, goes over come to me! come! He is—he is here! [Falls L., takes up dress, sits L. POLLY follows her, into D'ALROY's arms. Sam dances. takes seat front of her, L.

Polly. Sam, Sam! I'm going mad! Esther. You'll help me with this dress, Polly ? Esther. [opens her eyes.] I'm not dreaming? It

Polly. It won't be long before it's done, now. is reality? Its not unlike the one Josephine wore in the bal- D'Alroy. Darling! Yes! let of-oh!

Esther. Oh, how came you here ? Sam. [comes over to c.] What's the matter ? D'Alroy. It is a long story. Polly. Nothing! A needle in my finger! Esther. My darling! [Embraces him, leads him [Comes to SAM.] I've got it.

to cradle. SAM and POLLY embrace. D'ALROY Sam. The needle in your finger?

comes down front, takes seat C., with ESTHER Polly. No! an idea in my head !

kneeling beside him. Sam. Did it hurt you much ?

D'Alroy. Well, if I must tell my own history, I Polly. Stoopid ! Oh, Esther, do you remember will condense it.' I was one day on outpost duty, Josephine, in that ballet called “Jeanne La Folle, when I found myself surrounded and taken prisor, the Return of the Soldier"? You remember, oner. Fortunately, one of my captors was a native don't you ? [UP R., Sam down R.] Oh, I recollect who had been my servant, and to whom I had the scenery so plain! The first act was the vil- done some little kindnesses. He helped me to eslage; a bridge here—a cottage there! Jeanne cape, hid me in a cave, and supplied me with comes out to meet the bridegroom, Claude ! food. In time, though, he was ordered away. He Claude receives the congratulations of his friends brought another Sepoy in his stead. But I saw

- Thank you, thank you, thank you! Claude's a at first that this wretch meant to betray me. I soldier! There is a march of soldiers over the watched him like a lynx. At dusk a Sepoy pickbridge! March of soldiers over the bridge! (Imi- et came up. I saw he was going to call out to tates.] Tum, tum, tum tum tumy, etc. They them—80 I collared him.come to tear Claude from the arms of his bride at Esther. You strangled him? Oh! You killed the church porch. Claude falls on his knees, bro- him? ken-hearted. This is on his knees broken- D’Alroy. He did not get up again. hearted!


Polly. [to SAM.) You don't go killing Sepoys ! Esther. I don't half like this! It awakens cruel Sam. I pay rates and taxes ! memories!

D'Alroy. Havelock and his Scotchmen passed Polly. Pooh for your memories! Everything by. I went out of the village to them. isn't sad! There's bad news [at table) and there's done up. I was sent out to Calcutta, took a berth good news! And it comes sometimes when least in the "P & 0” boat; the voyage restored me, expected!

and I brought in the milk !

[Rises. Esther. Alas! not for me! not for me! Polly. [sharply.) Why not? [Turns away.

Enter MARQUISE, R. 2 E. Quickly.) Second act! Village Cross ! Enters Marquise. My dear boy!-dear boy! Jeanne, called La Folle because she has gone

[Embraces D'ALROY. mad !--[sings air from Lucia,"] gone mad, you D'Alroy. Dear mother! know, over the supposed loss of her husband ! Marquise. I am so glad to see you back again! Sam. Supposed loss?

Sam. There's always some good in womenPolly. Supposed loss.

even when they're ladies. Esther. [hand to heart.] Oh!

Marquise. [embraces ESTHER.] My dear daughPolly. Jeanne gone mad! Claude is not dead! ter, I hope you will forgive me for my petulance. I He comes back

have brought a little present for your boy-my Esther. Not dead ?

grandson! (Puts box on table.] Kow histury re

I was

peats itself! A similarly unexpected meeting oc- Hautree. Why, you're quite an orator! What curs in Froissart—where it treats of Philippe- makes you so eloquent! Captivity! D'Alroy. (quickly.) I remember-

D' Alroy. No! Marquise. [to D’ALROY.] We must take her Hautree. What then? abroad, and make a lady of her.

D’Alroy. I'm in love with my wife! D'Alroy. We can't. Nature has made her it already to our hands.

Enter ECCLES, R. 2 E. Marquise. I won't have the little man, or the Eccles. [bottle in hand to table L.) Bless this man that smells of beer!

'appy company! Polly, bring glasses—bring Enter HAUTREE, ‘R. 2 E.

glasses! a tumbler 1 do for me! Mr. Chairman,

ladies and gentlemen, a toast! I have the honor Hautree. (crestfallen.] Oh, George!

to propose the health of my son, the Right HonD'Alroy. Why, Hautree, what's the matter?

orable George D'Alroy! Polly, bring the glasses ! Hautree. Nothing !

and a bottle of sherry wine for my ladyship—my D'Alroy. But there is, though.

ladyship! We old people will crack a friendly Hautree. Well, I don't mind telling you, old bottle together! A bottle of sherry for my ladyfellow. I've been thrown.

ship! I'm quite happy to meet you again under D'Alroy. Thrown?

these altered-circus-circum-stan-circumHautree. Ya-as. Read that. [Gives notes.] I stan

[Leans over table, looking at MARQUISE. looked in for the papers as I came along, and

D'Alroy. Put his head in a bucket. found that.

Hautree. George, I-I think I can abate this D'Alroy. From Lady Carberry ?

nuisance, if not remove him. [Pokes EccLEs with Hautree. And about Lady Florence ?

his cane until he looks round and plunges at him. D'Alroy. [reads.) “Mum-um– And would Takes him to R. front.] Mr. Eccles, don't you an alliance with Lord Sarby, eldest son of the an allowance of about two pound a week, in some Duke of Loamnshire, and if you see fit to continue" place like Jersey, where spirits are cheap, you mumy-mum! I see! Well, a marquis is a big-could drink yourself to death in about a year ? ger swell than a major. Caste, you know, the in

Eccles. Well, I–I think I could ! I'm sure I'll exorable laws of Caste! You had much better have try! [POLLY and ESTHER come down c. looked out for a girl who would have fitted your Polly. You must come see us osten. station. Ah! and when you found the girl, mar- Esther. [nods. Aside.] She'll marry a tradesried her!

man and live in a back parlor. I hope she'll be Hautree. I daw say!

happy! D'Alroy. True hearts are more than coronets,

Polly. [aside.) She's going among the grand and simple faith than Norman blood !”

folks to ride in her coach! Wonder if she will be Hautree. A gentleman can hardly marry a no- bappy! [They kiss, POLLY goes up to Sam, L., body!

ESTHER TO MARQUISE, L. D'Alroy. You make a mistake. There is no such thing as a nobody. Nobody is nobody. But air which has rung in my ears, night after night,

D'Alroy. My dear! I wish you would play that everybody is somebody!

when I was far from you! [ESTHER, to piano R.; Hautree. But Caste ?

plays march in Act II till curtain. D'Alroy. Oh, Caste is all good enough, if not Marchioness. [at cradle.] My grandson ! carried too far. It should exclude the pretentious

D'Alroy. [leans on piano, looks at ESTHER.) Ah! and the vulgar, but open the gates widely to

(ECCLES falls drunk L. U. E. corner. brains. Where brains can break through, love may leap over!


inform you that Lady Florence has entered into think, with your talent for liquor, that if you had

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GEORGE D'ALROY.-Act 1: Walking-dress, black, except DIXON (a Servant.)—Black suit, white necktie.

iron-gray pants with black seam ; hat. Act 2: British officers uniform, blue, dead gold cord to pants. Act 3: Black suit, MARQUISE DE ST. MAUR.-Act 2: Rich walking-dress, old. short-skirted coat, low-crowned black hat.

fashioned high-front bonnet, flaxen hair. Act 3: Fashionable CAPTAIN HAUTREE.- Act 1: Like D'Alroy in same Act; mourning, black and gray trimming; black lace mantle.

cane, eye-glass, cigar-case. Act 2: Like D'Alroy ; sword on. Act 3: Black walking-dress, hat and cane.

ESTHER.-Act 1: Dark red-brown dress, black patent leather ECCLES.- Act 1: Shabby black snit, dusty shoes, battered black

belt, collar and cuffs, hat and shawl. Act 2: Light home dress, hat, black necktie. Act 2: Black Suit. Act 3: As in Act 1,

jewelry, hair fashionably dressed. Act 3: Full mourning, wid only more shabby.

ow's cap and bands, black crape bonnet to enter with ; pale face. SAM.-Acts 1 and 3: Red vest, gray trowsers, white canvas POLLY-Act 1: Mantle, hat and feather, light dress, collar and

jacket. Act 2: "Sunday clothes "-rery flashy light-gray coat cuffs. Act 2: Walking-dress, hat, parasol. Act 3: Smallwith black velvet collar, light vest and pants, hat.

check dress, cuffs.







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NO. 9.

Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1876, by WHEAT & CORNETT, in the Office

of the Librarian of Congress, at Washington, D. C.

VOL. 1.

SLASHER AND CRASHER : Folds up the letter, puts it into his pocket, then

Mr. Lambert

Burton's, 1849.
Mr. Hamilton.


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" Lindon,

Mrs. Laws.


So, so! [
quietly to .
(Motioning SLASHER to leave the house.] Go!

[The same to CRASHER. I farce, in One Art.

Slash, and Crash. Go!
Rosa and Dinah. Go!

Blow. Go! John, remove those unhappy men! BY JOHN MADDISON MORTON, ESQ. Crash. But good gracious, Mr. Blowhard

Slash. But, Mr. Blowhard, good gracious— CAST OF CHARAOTERS.

Rosa. Uncle!

Dinah. Brother!
Royal 4 delphi, 1849.
Benjamin Blowhard...

Crash. Explain!
Sampson Slasher...

Slash. Elucidate !
Christopher Crasher...... Paul Bedford. Brougham.
Lieutenant Brown....


G. Jordon.

Blow. You shall hear from me. In the mean

Hurley. time, as I said before, go! Ugh! (Looking conDinah Blowhard..

Miss Cooke. Rosa.... Miss E. Harding. Chapman. temptuously at them as he did before. John! [Mo.

tions him to remove SLASHER and CRASHER—JOIIN EXITS AND ENTRANCES. —R. means Right; L. Left; R. D. Right Door; L. touches them on the shoulder, and points to C. D. D. Left Door; 2 E. Second Entrance; U. E. Upper Entrance; M. D. Middlo Door, RELATIVE POSITIONS.-R. means Right; L. Left; C. Centre; R. C. Right Centre, L. O. Len Centre, &c. The reader is supposed to be on the stage, him as they go up.] Can you form any idea, eh?

Crash. (taking SLASHER's arm, and aside to facing the audience.

Slash. Have you the slightest conceptionSCENE I.-A well-furnished room. Large door at umph ? C. Large window, L., with white curtains and

Črash. Rather peculiar-eh? fringe, blinds, &c., looking on to a garden. Door Slash. Slightly crazy—umph! [When near R. 3 E. A cupboard R. in F. Another window C. D., they turn round, but find John close behind

Piano L. A table R. Chairs, &c. At the them, who points to door. rising of the Curtain, BLOWHARD, with SLASH

Crash. (shouting.) Such conduct, Mr. BlowER and Rosa on his R., and Miss Dinal and hardCRASHER on his L., are standing in a line, facing

Slash. Yes, Mr. Blowhard—such conduct, Mr. the Audience, as in the tag of a piece.


Blow. (vociferating.) Go! [SLASHER and Blowo. Well, as you seem to have settled it all be- CRASHER bang their hats on their heads, and hurtween you, all I can say, my dear Slasher, is, that ry out arm in arm, C. John shuts door after them. Rosa is yours—so take ber, and make her a good The window, L., is pulled up, and SLASHER and husband. (SLASHER takes Rosa's arm under his.) CRASHEN put their heads in, and kiss their hands And as for you, Mr. Crasher, why, if Sister Dinah to the ladies-JOHN hastily slams down windowsays yes, I don't see why I should say no. (CRASH- then, on a sign from BLOWHÁRD, makes a militaER takes DINAH's arm under his.) Come, that's ry salute, and exits, L. D. settled—and now all that remains is to make our Dinah. (L.) Now, brother, what does all this appeal here-[advancing to Audience]-trusting mean? that our kind friends before us will, on this occa- Rosa. (R. C.] Yes, uncle—what is all this about? sion, reward our efforts to amuse them with their Blow. Ic.)

Listen. It's just five-and-forty years indulgent appro-[Seeing John, who enters at ago since I, Benjamin Blowhard, fired with marwing, D.) Well, what do you want? (JOHN tial ardor, enlisted as a trumpeter into the Innisbeckons to BLOWHARD, who goes to him-John killen Dragoons. I soon got to be Trumpet Mawhispers and gives him a letter-mutual whis- jor, and, as such, went through the Peninsular, pers-BLOWHARD looks alternately at SLASH- and finished at Waterloo. By that time I found ER and CRASHER, and then tears open letter that I had blown the trumpet of victory so often starts, looks again at SLASHER and CRASHER- that I hadn't a bit of breath left in my body. Bewho, with Rosa and Miss DINAH, exchange looks sides, the fun was all over.. So I got my discharge of surprise. BLOWHARD reads the letter to him- 'and my pension—three shillings and sixpence a self.) Ha! (Looks severely at SLASHER. Reading day. Well, shortly after, one of our Majors died on.] Umph! (Looks indignantly at CRASHER.) _Dare Devil Dick," as we used to call him—a


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