DR. ACHMET BORUMBORAD.

Singular anecdotes of Dr. Achmet Borumborad-He proposes to erect baths in Dublin, in the Turkish fashion-Obtains grants from Parliament for that purpose-The Baths well executed-The Doctor's banquet-Ludicrous anecdote of nineteen Noblemen and Members of Parliament falling into his grand salt-water bath-The accident nearly causes the ruin of the Doctor and his establishment-He falls in love with Miss Hartigan, and marries her. Sudden metamorphosis of the Turk into Mr. Patrick Joyce.

UNTIL England dragged the sister kingdom with herself into the ruinous expenses of the American War, Ireland owed no public debt. There were no taxes, save local ones: the Parliament, being composed of resident gentlemen, interested in the prosperity and welfare of their country, was profuse in promoting all useful schemes; and no projector, who could show any reasonable grounds for seeking assistance, had difficulty in finding a patron. On these points, indeed, the gentlemen who possessed influence, were often unguarded, and sometimes extravagant.

Amongst other projectors, whose ingenuity was excited by, this liberal conduct, was one of a very singular description-a Turk who had come over, or (as the on-dit went,) had fled from Constantinople. He proposed to establish, what was greatly wanted at that time in the Irish metropolis, "Hot and Cold Sea water Baths;" and by way of advancing his pretensions to public encouragement, offered to open free baths for the poor, on an extensive plan-giving them, as a Doctor, at tendance and advice gratis, every day in the year, He spoke English very intelligibly; his person was extremely remarkable; and the more so, as he was the first Turk who had ever walked the streets of Dublin in his native costume. He was in height considerably above six feet, rather pompous in his gait, and apparently powerful; an immense black beard covering his chin and upper lip. There was, at the same time, something cheerful and cordial in the man's address; and, altogether, he cut a very imposing figure. Every body liked Doctor Achmet Borumborad: his Turkish dress, being extremely handsome without any approach to the tawdry, and crowned

with an immense turban, drew the eyes of every passer-by; and I must say that I have never myself seen a more statelylooking Turk since that period.

The eccentricity of the Doctor's appearance was, indeed, as will readily be imagined, the occasion of much idle observation and conjecture. (At first, whenever he went abroad, a crowd of people, chiefly boys, was sure to attend him-but at a respectful distance; and if he turned to look behind him, the gaping #boobies fled, as if they conceived even his looks to be mortal These fears, however, gradually wore away, and were entirely shaken off, on the fact being made public, that he meant to attend the poor; which undertaking was, in the usual spirit of exaggeration, soon construed into an engagement, on the part of the Doctor, to cure all disorders whatever! and hence he quickly became as much admired and respected as he had previously been dreaded.

• My fair readers will perhaps smile, when I assure them that the persons who seemed to have the least apprehension of Doctor Borumborad, or rather to think him "a very nice Turk!". were the ladies of the metropolis. Many a smart, snug little husband, who had been heretofore considered 66 quite the thing."-despotic in his own house, and peremptory commandant of his own family, was now regarded as a wretched, contemptible, close-shaven pigmy, in comparison with the immensity of the Doctor's figure and whiskers; and, what is more extraordinary, his good humour, and engaging manners gained him many friends even among the husbands themselves! he thus becoming, in a shorter period than could be imagined, a particular favourite with the entire city, male and female.

Doctor Achmet Borumborad, having obtained footing thus far, next succeeded surprisingly in making his way amongst the Members of Parliament. He was full of conversation, yet knew his proper distance; pregnant with anecdote, but discreet in its expenditure; and he had the peculiar talent of being humble without the appearance of humility. A submissive Turk would have been out of character, and a haughty one excluded from society: the Doctor was aware of this, and regulated his demeanour with remarkable skill upon every occasion (and they were numerous) whereon (as a lion) he was invited to the tables of the great. By this line of conduct, he managed to warm those who patronized him into becoming violent partizans; and, accordingly, little or no difficulty was experienced in getting a grant from Parliament for a sufficient fund to commence his great metropolitan undertaking.

Baths were now planned after Turkish models. The money voted was most faithfully appropriated; and a more ingenious

or useful establishment could not be formed in any metropolis. But the cash, it was soon discovered, ran too short to enable the Doctor to complete his scheme; and, on the ensuing sest sion, a further vote became necessary, which was by no means opposed, as the institution was good, fairly executed, and charitably applied. The worthy Doctor kept his ground; session after session he petitioned for fresh assistance, and never met with refusal: his profits were good, and he lived well, whilst the baths proved of the utmost benefit, and the poor received attention and service from his establishment, without cost. An immense cold bath was constructed, to communicate with the river: it was large and deep, and entirely renewed every tide. The neatest lodging rooms, for those patients who chose to remain during a course of bathing, were added to the establishment and always occupied. In short, the whole affair became so popular, and Dr. Achmet acquired so many friends, that the annual grants of Parliament were considered nearly as matters of course.

But, alas! fortune is treacherous, and prosperity unstable. Whilst the ingenious Borumborad was thus rapidly flourishing, an unlucky though most ludicrous incident threw the poor fellow completely a-back; and, without any fault on his part, nearly ruined both himself and his institution.

Preparatory to every session, it was the Doctor's invariable custom to give a grand dinner, at the baths, to a large number of his patrons, Members of Parliament, who were in the habit of proposing and supporting his grants. He always, on these occasions, procured some professional singers, as well as the finest wines in Ireland; endeavouring to render the parties as joyous and convivial as possible. Some nobleman, or commoner of note, always acted for him as chairman, the Doctor himself being quite unassuming.

At the last commencement of a session, whereupon he anticipated this patronage, it was intended to increase his grant, in order to meet the expenses of certain new works, &c. which he had executed on the strength of the ensuing supply; and the Doctor had invited nearly thirty of the leading members to a grand dinner in his spacious saloon. The singers were of the first order; the claret and champaign excellent; and never was the Turk's hospitality shown off to better advantage, or the appetites of his guests administered to with greater success. The effects of the wine, as usual on all such meetings in Ire land, began to grow obvious. The elder and more discreet members were for adjourning; whilst the juveniles declared they would stay for another dozen! and Doctor Borumborad accordingly went down himself to his cellar, to select and send

up a choice dozen by way of bonne bouche for finishing the refractory Members of Parliament

In his absence, Sir John S. Hamilton, though a very dry Member, took it into his head that he had taken enough, and rose to go away, as is customary in these days of freedom when people are so circumstanced: but at that period men were not always their own masters on such occasions, and a general cry arose of "Stop, Sir John!-stop him!-the bonne bouche!the bonne bouche!"-The carousers were on the alert instantly: Sir John opened the door and rushed out; the anti-chamber was not lighted; some one or two-and-twenty staunch Members stuck to his skirts; when splash at once comes Sir John, not into the street, but into the great cold bath, the door of which he had retreated by, in mistake! The other Parliamentmen were too close upon the baronet to stop short (like the horse of a Cossack:) in they went, by fours and fives; and one or two, who, on hearing the splashing of the water, cunningly threw themselves down on the brink to avoid popping in, operated directly as stumbling blocks to those behind, who thus obtained their full share of bonne bouche none of the parties had bargained for.

When Doctor Borumborad re-entered, ushering a couple of servants laden with a dozen of his best wine, and missed all his company, he thought some devil had carried them off; but perceiving the door of his noble, deep, cold salt-water bath open, he with dismay rushed thither, and espied eighteen or nineteen Irish Parliament-men, either floating like so many corks upon the surface, or scrambling to get out, like mice who had fallen into a basin! The Doctor's posse of attendants were immediately set at work, and every one of the Honourable Members extricated; the quantity of salt-water, however, which had made its way into their stomachs, was not so easily removed, and most of them carried the beverage home to their own bed-chambers.

It was unlucky, also, that as the Doctor was a Turk, he had no Christian wardrobe to substitute for the well-soaked garments of the Honourable Members. Such dresses, however, as he had, were speedily put into requisition; the bathing attendants furnished their quota of dry apparel; and all was speedily distributed amongst the swimmers, some of whom exhibited in Turkish costume, others in bathing shifts; and when the clothes failed, blankets were pinned round the rest. Large fires were made in every room; brandy and mulled wine liberally resorted to; and as fast as sedan-chairs could be procured, the Irish Commoners were sent home, cursing all Turks and infidels, and denouncing a crusade against any thing coming from the same quarter of the globe as Constantinople.

Poor Doctor Achmet Borumborad (was distracted and quite inconsolable! Next day he duly visited every suffering Member, and though well received, was acute enough to see that the ridicule with which they had covered themselves was likely to work out eventually his ruin. His anticipations were well founded: though the Members sought to hush up the ridi culous parts of the story, they became, from that very attempt, still more celebrated. In fact, it was too good a joke to escape the embellishments of Irish humour; and the statement universally circulated was-that "Doctor Borumborad had nearly drowned nineteen Members of Parliament, because they would not promise to vote for him!"

The poor Doctor was now assailed in every way. Among other things, it was asserted that he was the Turk who had strangled the Christians in the Seven Towers at Constantinople! Though every body laughed at their own inventions, they believed those of other people; and the conclusion was, that no more grants could be proposed, since not a single Member was stout enough to mention the name of Borumborad! the laugh, indeed, would have overwhelmed the best speech ever delivered in the Irish Parliament.

Still, the new works must be paid for, although no convenient vote came to make the necessary provision: the poor Doctor was therefore cramped a little; but notwithstanding his embarrassment, he kept his ground well, and lost no private friends except such as the wearing-off of novelty estranged. He continued to get on; and at length a new circumstance intervened to restore his happiness, in a way as little to be anticipated by the reader as was his previous discomfiture.

Love had actually seized upon the Turk above two years before the accident we have been recording. A respectable surgeon of Dublin, of the name of Hartigan, had what might be termed a very "neat" sister; and this lady had made a lasting impression on the heart of Borumborad, who had no reason to complain of his suit being treated with disdain, or even indifference. On the contrary, Miss H. liked the Doctor vastly! and praised the Turks in general, both for their dashing spirit and their beautiful whiskers. It was not, however, consistent either with her own or her brother's Christianity, to submit to the Doctor's tremendous beard, or think of matrimony, till" he had shaved the chin, at least, and got a parson to turn him into a Christian, or something of that kind." Upon those terms only would she surrender her charms and her money-for some she had-to Doctor Achmet Borumborad, however amiable.

The Doctor's courtship with the Members of Parliament