Mrs Hard. That's false; I never see you when 770 you're in spirits. No, Tony, you then go to the alehouse or kennel. I'm never to be delighted with your agreeable, wild notes, unfeeling monster!

Tony. Ecod! Mamma, your own notes are the wildest of the two.

Mrs Hard. Was ever the like? But I see he wants to break my heart, I see he does.

Hastings. Dear Madam, permit me to lecture the young gentleman a little. I'm certain I can 780 persuade him to his duty.

Mrs Hard. Well! I must retire.

stance, my love. You see, Mr
wretchedness of my situation.

Come, Con

Hastings, the

Was ever poor

woman so plagued with a dear, sweet, pretty,
provoking, undutiful boy.

[Exeunt Mrs Hardcastle and Miss Neville.

Hastings. Tony.

Tony [singing]. There was a young man riding by, and fain would have his will. Rang do didlo

ace. Don't mind her.
comfort of her heart.

Let her cry. It's the

I have seen her and 790

sister cry over a book for an hour together, and
they said, they liked the book the better the
more it made them cry.

Hastings. Then you're no friend to the ladies, I
find, my pretty young gentleman?

Tony. That's as I find 'um.

Hastings. Not to her of your mother's choosing, I dare answer! And yet she appears to me a pretty, well-tempered girl.

Tony. That's because you don't know her as well 800
as I.
Ecod! I know every inch about her;

and there's not a more bitter cantankerous toad
in all Christendom!

Hastings [aside]. Pretty encouragement, this, for a
lover!

Tony. I have seen her since the height of that. She
has as many tricks as a hare in a thicket, or a
colt the first day's breaking.

Hastings. To me she appears sensible and silent!
Tony. Ay, before company. But when she's with 810
her playmates, she's as loud as a hog in a gate.
Hastings. But there is a meek modesty about her

that charms me.

Tony. Yes, but curb her never so little, she kicks up, and you're flung in a ditch.

Hastings. Well, but you must allow her a little
beauty. Yes, you must allow her some
beauty.
Tony. Bandbox! She's all a made up thing, mun.

Ah! could you but see Bet Bouncer of these 820
parts, you might then talk of beauty. Ecod,
she has two eyes as black as sloes, and cheeks
as broad and red as a pulpit cushion. She'd
make two of she.

Hastings. Well, what say you to a friend that would
take this bitter bargain off your hands?

Tony. Anon.

Hastings. Would you thank him that would take Miss Neville, and leave you to happiness and your dear Betsy? 830 Tony. Ay; but where is there such a friend, for who

would take her ?

Hastings. I am he. If you but assist me, I'll engage to whip her off to France, and you shall never

hear more of her.

Tony. Assist you! Ecod, I will, to the last drop of my blood. I'll clap a pair of horses to your chaise that shall trundle you off in a twinkling, and may be get you a part of her fortin besides, in jewels, that you little dream of.

840

Hastings. My dear 'Squire, this looks like a lad of spirit.

Tony. Come along then, and you shall see more of my spirit before you have done with me.

We are the boys

That fears no noise

[Singing.

Where the thundering cannons roar.

[Exeunt.

Act Third.

Enter Hardcastle solus.

Hard. What could my old friend Sir Charles mean by recommending his son as the modestest young man in town? To me he appears the most impudent piece of brass that ever spoke with a tongue. He has taken possession of the easy chair by the fireside already. He took off his boots in the parlour, and desired me to see them taken care of. I'm desirous to know how his impudence affects my daughter. -She will certainly be shocked at it.

IO

Enter Miss Hardcastle, plainly dressed.

Hard. Well, my Kate, I see you have changed your dress as I bid you; and yet, I believe, there was no great occasion.

Miss Hard. I find such a pleasure, sir, in obeying your commands, that I take care to observe them without ever debating their propriety. Hard. And yet, Kate, I sometimes give you some cause, particularly when I recommended my modest gentleman to you as a lover to-day.

Miss Hard. You taught me to expect something 20 extraordinary, and I find the original exceeds

the description!

Hard. I was never so surprised in my life! He has quite confounded all my faculties!

Miss Hard. I never saw anything like it: And a man of the world, too!

Hard. Ay, he learned it all abroad,—what a fool

was I, to think a young man could learn modesty
by travelling. He might as soon learn wit at a
masquerade.

Miss Hard. It seems all natural to him.

Hard. A good deal assisted by bad company and a

French dancing-master.

30