sincerity, if you please.-You play false with
us, madam-I saw you give the baronet a letter.
My master shall know this-and if he don't 100
call him out, I will.

Lucy. Ha! ha! ha! you gentlemen's gentlemen
are so hasty. That letter was from Mrs
Malaprop, simpleton.-She is taken with Sir
Lucius's address.

Fag. How! what tastes some people have!—Why,
I suppose I have walked by her window a
hundred times.-But what says our young
lady? any message to my master?

Lucy. Sad news, Mr Fag.-A worse rival than 110 Acres ! Sir Anthony Absolute has proposed

his son.

Fag. What, Captain Absolute?

Lucy. Even so—I overheard it all.

Fag. Ha ha ha! very good, faith. Good bye,
Lucy, I must away with this news.

Lucy. Well, you may laugh—but it is true, I assure
you. [Going.] But, Mr Fag, tell your
master not to be cast down by this.

Fag. Oh, he'll be so disconsolate!

Lucy. And charge him not to think of quarrelling

with young Absolute.

120

Fag. Never fear! never fear!

Lucy. Be sure-bid him keep up his spirits.
Fag. We will-we will.

[Exeunt severally.

Act Third.

Scene I.

The North Parade.

Enter Captain Absolute.

Abs. 'Tis just as Fag told me, indeed. Whimsical

enough, faith!

My father wants to force me to marry the very girl I am plotting to run away with! He must not know of my connection with her yet awhile. He has too summary a method of proceeding in these matters. However, I'll read my recantation instantly. My conversion is something sudden, indeed—but I can assure him it is very sincere. So, 80-here he comes. He looks plaguy gruff.

10

[Steps aside.

Enter Sir Anthony Absolute.

Sir Anth. No-I'll die sooner than forgive him.
Die, did I say? I'll live these fifty years to
plague him. At our last meeting, his im-
pudence had almost put me out of temper.
An obstinate, passionate, self-willed boy!
Who can he take after? This is my return
for getting him before all
sisters! for putting him, at twelve years old,
into a marching regiment, and allowing him
fifty pounds a year, besides his pay, ever since!
But I have done with him; he's anybody's
son for me. I never will see him more, never

-never-never.

his brothers and

Abs. [Aside, coming forward.] Now for a penitential face.

Sir Anth. Fellow, get out of my way!

Abs. Sir, you see a penitent before you.

Sir Anth. I see an impudent scoundrel before me. Abs. A sincere penitent. I am come, sir, to acknowledge my error, and to submit entirely to your will.

Sir Anth. What's that?

Abs. I have been revolving, and reflecting, and

considering on your past goodness, and kind-
ness, and condescension to me.

Sir Anth. Well, sir?

Abs. I have been likewise weighing and balancing

what you were pleased to mention concerning
duty, and obedience, and authority.

Sir Anth. Well, puppy?

Abs. Why then, sir, the result of my reflections is -a resolution to sacrifice every inclination of my own to your satisfaction.

Sir Anth. Why now you talk sense-absolute sense -I never heard anything more sensible in my life. Confound you! you shall be Jack again.

Abs. I am happy in the appellation.

Sir Anth. Why then, Jack, my dear Jack, I will

40

now inform you who the lady really is. 50
Nothing but your passion and violence, you
silly fellow, prevented my telling you at first.
Prepare, Jack, for wonder and rapture-pre-
pare. What think you of Miss Lydia Lan-
guish ?

Abs. Languish! What, the Languishes of Wor

cestershire?

Sir Anth. Worcestershire!

no. Did you never

meet Mrs Malaprop and her niece, Miss

Languish, who came into our country just 60 before you were last ordered to your regiment! Abs. Malaprop! Languish! I don't remember ever to have heard the names before. Yet, stay-I think I do recollect something. Languish Languish ! She squints, don't she?

A little red-haired girl?

Sir Anth. Squints! A red-haired girl! Zounds! no.
Abs. Then I must have forgot; it can't be the

same person.

Sir Anth. Jack! Jack! what think you of blooming, 70

love-breathing seventeen ?

Abs. As to that, sir, I am quite indifferent. If I
can please you in the matter, 'tis all I desire.
Sir Anth. Nay, but Jack, such eyes! such eyes! 80
innocently wild! so bashfully irresolute! not
a glance but speaks and kindles some thought
of love! Then, Jack, her cheeks! her

cheeks, Jack! so deeply blushing at the insinu-
ations of her tell-tale eyes! Then, Jack, her
lips! O Jack, lips smiling at their own dis- 80
cretion; and if not smiling, more sweetly
pouting; more lovely in sullenness!

Abs. That's she indeed. Well done, old gentle

man.

[Aside.