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Has a loud trumpet like the Scarabee ;
A good match!
Of Hounslow Heath, Tyburn, and the New Drop,
And has great influence in both Houses ;-Oh! Trailing a blistering slime ; and this foul beast He makes the fondest husband ; nay loo fond :Has tracked Iona from the Theban limits,
New-married people should not kiss in public ;From isle to isle, from city unto city,
But the poor souls love one another so ! Urging her flight from the far Chersonese And then my little grandchildren, the Gibbets, To fabulous Solyma, and the Ætnean Isle, Promising children as you ever saw,Ortygia, Melite, and Calypso's Rock,
The young playing at hanging, the elder learning And the swart tribes of Garamant and Fez, How to hold radicals. They are well taught too, Æolia and Elysium, and thy shores,
For every Gibbet says its catechism,
And reads a select chapter in the Bible
(A most tremendous Aumming is heard.
Ha! what do I hear |
Hum ! hum! hum! And he shall creep into her dressing-room,
From the lakes of the Alps, and the cold grey scalps
Of the mountains, I come!
Hun! hum! hum!
Of golden Byzantium ;
From Athens and Rome,
With a ha! and a hum!
I come! I come!
All inn-doors and windows
Were open to me! His little body like a red balloon,
I saw all that sin does,
Which lamps hardly see
Dinging and singing,
From slumber 1 rung her,
Loud as the clank of an ironmonger!
Hum! hum! hum!
This For Queen Iona might suffice, and less;
Far, far, far, But 'tis the swinish multitude I fear,
With the trump of my lips, and the sting at my hips,
I drove her--afar!
Far, far, far,
From city to city, abandoned of pity,
A ship without needle or star ;-
Seeking peace, finding war ;
Disinherited She is here in her car, My eldest son Chrysaor, because he
From afar, and afar ;-
Hum ! hum!
I have stung her and wrung her!
The venom is working ;And have entailed my estate, called the Fool's
And if you had hung her Paradise,
With canting and quirking, And funds, in fairy-money, bonds, and bills,
She could not be deader than she will be soon ;Upon my accomplished daughter Banknotina,
I have driven her close to you, under the moon. And married her to the Gallows.
Night and day, hum! hum! ha!
I have hummed her and drummed her • “If one should marry a gallows, and beget young gibbots, | From place to place, till at last I have dumbed her. I never saw one so pronc."--CYMBELINE.
Huin! hum! hum!
Some tawdry lace, and bits of lustre glass,
And their young boars white and red rags, and tails
Of cows, and jay feathers, and sticking cauliflowers Blood or muck!
Between the ears of the old ones ; and when The disease of the state is a plethory,
They are persuaded, that by the inherent virtue Who so fit to reduce it as I ?
Of these things, they are all imperial pigs,
Good Lord ! they'd rip each other's bellies up, I'll slily seize and
Not to say help us in destroying her.
Enter LAOCTONOS and DAKRY.
It is my royal pleasure [To the LEECH.
That you, Lord General, bring the head and body, And thou, dull beetle, get thee back to hell !
If separate it would please me better, hither
Of Queen Iona.
That pleasure I well knew,
And made a charge with those battalions bold,
Called, from their dress and grin, the royal apes,
Upon the swine, who in a hollow square
Enclosed her, and received the first attack
Like so many rhinoceroses, and then
And wrinkled snouts presented to the foe,
Bore her in triumph to the public sty:
What is still worse, some sows upon the ground PURGANAX (fiercely).
Have given the ape-guards apples, nuts, and gin, Be silent! get to hell ! or I will call
And they all whisk their tails aloft, and cry,
THE SWINE, (without). And spell some scheine to make it ugly then. Long live Iona ! down with Swellfoot !
Went to the garret of the swineherd's tower,
Which overlooks the sty, and made a long Oh, Hymen ! clothed in yellow jealousy,
Harangue (all words) to the assembled swine, And waving o'er the couch of wedded kings
Of delicacy, mercy, judgment, law, The torch of Discord with its fiery hair ;
Morals, and precedents, and purity, This is thy work, thou patron saint of queens !
Adultery, destitution, and divorce, Swellfoot is wived ! though parted by the sea,
l'iety, faith, and state necessity, The very name of wife had conjugal rights ;
And how I loved the queen !-and then I wept, Her cursed image ate, drank, slept with me,
With the pathos of my own eloquence, And in the arms of Adiposa oft
And every tear turned to a inill-stone, which Her memory has received a husband's
Brained many a gaping pig, and there was mado
A slough of blood and brains upon the place, (A loud tumult, and cries of "Iona for ever!-No Greased with the pounded bacon; round and round Swellfoot!"
The millstones rolled, ploughing the pavement up,
And hurling sucking pigs into the air,
With dust and stones.
Hark ! How the swine cry Iona Taurina !
Enter MAMMON. 1 suffer the real presence : Purganax, Off with her head !
I wonder that grey wizards PURGANAX
Like you should be so beardless in their schemes ; But I must first impannel It had been but a point of policy
To keep Iona and the swine apart.
Divide and rule ! but ye have made a junction
Between two parties who will govern you,
But for my art.-Behold this Bag! it is
The poison Bag of that Green Spider huge,
On which our spies skulked in ovation through Oi ribbon round their legs-giving their sows
The streets of Thebes, when they were paved with
I will go
A jury of the pigs.
A bane so much the deadlier fills it now,
MAMMON. As calumny is worse than death,- for here
Now, with a little common sense, my Lorde The Gadfly's venom, fifty times distilled,
Only undoing all that has been done, Is mingled with the vomit of the Leech,
(Yet so as it may seem we but confirm t, In due proportion, and black ratsbane, which
Our victory is assured. We must entice That very Rat, who, like the Pontic tyrant,
Her Majesty from the sty, and make the pigs
Believe that the contents of the GREEN BAG
Are the true test of guilt or innocence.
And that, if she be guilty, 'twill transform her And over it the primate of all Hell
To manifest deformity like guilt. Murmured this pious baptism :-“ Be thou called
If innocent, she will become transfigured
Into an angel, such as they say she is ;
And they will see her flying through the air,
So bright that she will dim the noon-day sun; To savage, foul, and fierce deformity, Let all, baptised by thy infernal dew,
Showering down blessings in the shape of comfits.
This, trust a priest, is just the sort of thing Be called adulterer, drunkard, liar, wretch !
Swine will believe. I'll wager you will see them No name left out which orthodoxy loves, Court Journal or legitimate Review
Climbing upon the thatch of their low sties ; Be they called tyrant, beast, fool, glutton, lover
With pieces of smoked glass, to watch her sail
Among the clouds, and some will hold the flaps Of other wives and husbands than their own
Of one another's ears between their teeth, The heaviest sin on this side of the Alps !
To catch the coming hail of comfits in. Wither they to a ghastly caricature
You, Purganax, who have the gift oʻthe gab, Of what was human !-let not man nor beast Behold their face with unaverted eyes !
Make them a solemn speech to this effect : Or hear their names with ears that tingle not
I go to put in readiness the feast
Kept to the honour of our goddess Famine, With blood of indignation, rage, and shame!”
Where, for more glory, let the ceremony This is a perilous liquor ;-good my Lords.
Take place of the uglification of the Queen.
DAKRY (to Swellfoot).
Of your high office, as man-milliner
To red Bellona, should not be deferred.
All part, in happier plight to meet again.
The Public Sty.
And such home manufactures, is but partial;
A loud cry from the Pigs.
That she is guilty ; thus, the lean-pig faction Into an angel, (as I am sure we shall do,)
[Showing the Bag. Maintain you in to the last drop of
I know that she is innocent ; I wish
Only to prove her so to all the world.
Excelient, just, and noble Purganax !
How glorious it will be to see her Majesty
But like a standard of an admiral's ship, It might produce upon the purity and
Or like the banner of a conquering host, Religion of the rising generation
Or like a cloud dyed in the dying day, Of sucking-pigs, if it could be suspected
Unravelled on the blast from a white mountain ; That Queen lona
Or like a meteor, or a war-steed's mane, [A pause.
Or water-fall from a dizzy precipice
Scattered upon the wind.
Or a cow's tail,
Or any thing, as the learned Buar observed. feed
PURGANAX. Beside Clitumnus and the crystal lakes
Gentlemen Boars, I move a resolution, Of the Cisalpine mountains, in fresh dews
That her most sacred Majesty should be
Invited to attend the feast of Famine,
(A great confusion is heard of the Pigs out of Doors,
which communicates itself to those within. During On such a one from Asia into Crete,
the first Strophe, the doors of the Sty are staved in, And the enamoured sea grew calm beneath
and a number of exceedingly lean Pigs and Sows His gliding beauty. And Pasiphae,
and Boars rush in. lona's grandmother, but she is innocent !
SEMICHORUS I. And that both you and I, and all assert.
Oh! no GREEN Bags !! Jealousy's eyes are green,
Order ! order ! be not rash !
AN OLD Sow (rushing in).
SECOND BOAR (solemnly).
Decked with rare gems, and beauty rarer still,
Walked from Killarney to the Giant's Causeway, [His heart is seen to beat through his waistcoat. Through rebels, smugglers, troops of yeomanry, Gods! What would ye be at ?
White-boys, and orange-boys, and constables,
Lord PURGANAX, I do commit myself
Into your custody, and am prepared
To stand the test, whatever it may be !
This magnanimity in your
sacred Majesty Whenever royal spouses bicker,
Must please the pigs. You cannot fail of being Both should try the magic liquor.
A heavenly angel. Smoke your bits of glass,
Ye loyal swine, or her transfiguration
Will blind your wondering eyes
AN OLD BOAR (aside). The swine must bite each other's ear therefore.
Take care, my Lord, AN OLD sow (aside).
They do not smoke you first. A wretched lot Jove has assigned to swine,
PURGANAX. Squabbling makes pig-herds hungry, and they dine
At the approaching feast On bacon, and whip sucking-pigs the more.
Of Famine, let the expiation be.
Content ! content !
IONA TAURINA (aside).
I, most content of all,
Know that my foes even thus prepare their fall ! That she shall not be arrested.
(Excunt omnes QUEEN, we entrench you with walls of brawn,
And palisades of tusks, sharp as a bayonet :
Those who wrong you, wrong us ;
The interior of the Temple of FAMINE. The statue of the
Goddess, a skeleton clothed in party-coloured rags, scatel The oracle is now about to be
upon a heap of skulls and loaves intermingled. A numFulfilled by circumvolving destiny ;
ber of exceedingly fat Pricsts in black garments arrayed Which says: “ Thebes, choose reform or civil war,
on each side, with marrow-bones and cleavers in their When through your streets, instead of hare with
hands. A flourish of trumpets. dogs,
Enter MAMMON as Arch-priest, SWELLFOOT, DAKRY, A CONSORT QUEEN shall hunt a King with hogs, PURGANAX, LAOCTONOS, followed by Iona TAURINA Riding upon the Ionian MINOTAUR."
guarded. On the other side enter the Swine.
CHORUS OF PRIESTS,
Accompanied by the Court Porkman on marrow-bones.
and cleavers. Gentlemen swine, and gentle lady-pigs, The tender heart of every boar acquits
Goddess bare, and gaunt, and pale, Their Queen, of any act incongruous
Empress of the world, all hail ! With native piggishness, and she reposing
What though Cretans old called thee With confidence upon the grunting nation,
City-crested Cybele ?
We call thee FAMINE !
Goddess of fasts and feasts, starving and cramNor has the expectation been deceived
ming ; Of finding shelter there. Yet know, great boars,
Through thee, for emperors, kings, and priests and (For such who ever lives among you finds you,
lords, And so do I) the innocent are proud !
Who rule by viziers, sceptres, bank-notes, words, I have accepted your protection only
The earth pcurs forth its plenteous fruits,
[fat, In compliment of your kind love and care,
Corn, wool, linen, flesh, and rootsNot for necessity. The innocent
Those who consume these fruits through thee grow Are safest there where trials and dangers wait ;
Those who produce these fruits through thee Innocent Queens o'er white-hot plough-shares
grow lean, tread
Whatever change takes place, oh, stick to that! Unsinged; and ladies, Erin's laureate sings it,*
And let things be as they have ever been ;
At least while we remain thy priests, • Rich and rare were the gems she wore.'
And proclaim thy fasts and feasts !