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MAMMON.

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Has a loud trumpet like the Scarabee ;

PURGANAX.
His crooked tail is barbed with many stings,
Each able to make a thousand wounds, and each

A good match!
Immedicable ; from his convex eyes

MAMMON.
He sees fair things in many hideous shapes, A high connexion, Purganax. The bridegroom
And trumpets all his falsehood to the world. Is of a very ancient family
Like other beetles he is fed on dung-

Of Hounslow Heath, Tyburn, and the New Drop,
He has eleven feet with which he crawls,

And has great influence in both Houses ;-Oh! Trailing a blistering slime ; and this foul beast He makes the fondest husband ; nay loo fond :Has tracked Iona from the Theban limits,

New-married people should not kiss in public ;From isle to isle, from city unto city,

But the poor souls love one another so ! Urging her flight from the far Chersonese And then my little grandchildren, the Gibbets, To fabulous Solyma, and the Ætnean Isle, Promising children as you ever saw,Ortygia, Melite, and Calypso's Rock,

The young playing at hanging, the elder learning And the swart tribes of Garamant and Fez, How to hold radicals. They are well taught too, Æolia and Elysium, and thy shores,

For every Gibbet says its catechism,
Parthenope, which now, alas! are free!

And reads a select chapter in the Bible
And through the fortunate Saturnian land, Before it goes to play.
Into the darkness of the West.

(A most tremendous Aumming is heard.

PURGANAX,
But if

Ha! what do I hear |
This Gadfly should drive Iona hither ?

Enter GADFLY.
PURGANAX.

MAMMON.
Gods! what an if! but there is my grey Rat; Your Gadfly, as it seems, is tired of gadding.
So thin with want, he can crawl in and out

GADFLY.
Of any narrow chink and filthy hole,

Hum ! hum! hum! And he shall creep into her dressing-room,

From the lakes of the Alps, and the cold grey scalps
And

Of the mountains, I come!
MAMMON.

Hun! hum! hum!
My dear friend, where are your wits? as if From Morocco and Fez, and the high palaces
She does not always toast a piece of cheese,

Of golden Byzantium ;
And bait the trap? and rats, when leau enough From the temples divine of old Palestine,
To crawl through such chinks -

From Athens and Rome,

With a ha! and a hum!
PURGANAX.

I come! I come!
But my LEECH leech
Fit to suck blood, with lubricous round rings,

All inn-doors and windows
Capaciously expatiative, which make

Were open to me! His little body like a red balloon,

I saw all that sin does,
As full of blood as that of hydrogen,

Which lamps hardly see
Sucked from men's hearts; insatiably he sucks That burn in the night by the curtained bed,
And clings and pulls-a horse-leech, whose deep maw The impudent lamps ! for they blushed not red.
The plethoric King Swellfoot could not fill,

Dinging and singing,
And who, till full, will cling for ever.

From slumber 1 rung her,

Loud as the clank of an ironmonger!
MAMMON.

Hum! hum! hum!

This For Queen Iona might suffice, and less;

Far, far, far, But 'tis the swinish multitude I fear,

With the trump of my lips, and the sting at my hips,

I drove her--afar!
And in that fear I have

Far, far, far,
PURGANAX.

From city to city, abandoned of pity,
Done what?

A ship without needle or star ;-
Homeless she past, like a cloud on the blast,

Seeking peace, finding war ;

Disinherited She is here in her car, My eldest son Chrysaor, because he

From afar, and afar ;-
Attended public meetings, and would always

Hum ! hum!
Stand prating there of commerce, public faith,
Economy, and unadulterate coin,

I have stung her and wrung her!
And other topios, ultra-radical;

The venom is working ;And have entailed my estate, called the Fool's

And if you had hung her Paradise,

With canting and quirking, And funds, in fairy-money, bonds, and bills,

She could not be deader than she will be soon ;Upon my accomplished daughter Banknotina,

I have driven her close to you, under the moon. And married her to the Gallows.

Night and day, hum! hum! ha!

I have hummed her and drummed her • “If one should marry a gallows, and beget young gibbots, | From place to place, till at last I have dumbed her. I never saw one so pronc."--CYMBELINE.

Huin! hum! hum!

MAMMON.

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RAT.

SWELLFOOT.

RAT.

For,

Some tawdry lace, and bits of lustre glass,
LEECH.

And their young boars white and red rags, and tails
I will suck

Of cows, and jay feathers, and sticking cauliflowers Blood or muck!

Between the ears of the old ones ; and when The disease of the state is a plethory,

They are persuaded, that by the inherent virtue Who so fit to reduce it as I ?

Of these things, they are all imperial pigs,

Good Lord ! they'd rip each other's bellies up, I'll slily seize and

Not to say help us in destroying her.
Let blood from her weasand,
Creeping through crevice, and chink, and cranny, This plan might be tried too ;-where's General
With my snaky tail, and my sides so scranny.

Laoctonos ?
PURGANAX.

Enter LAOCTONOS and DAKRY.
Aroint ye ! thou unprofitable worm !

It is my royal pleasure [To the LEECH.

That you, Lord General, bring the head and body, And thou, dull beetle, get thee back to hell !

If separate it would please me better, hither
(To the GADFLY.

Of Queen Iona.
To sting the ghosts of Babylonian kings,
And the ox-headed 10.-

LAOCTONOS.

That pleasure I well knew,
SWINE (within).

And made a charge with those battalions bold,
Ugh, ugh, ugh!

Called, from their dress and grin, the royal apes,
Hail ! lona the divine,

Upon the swine, who in a hollow square
We will be no longer swine,

Enclosed her, and received the first attack
But bulls with horns and dewlaps.

Like so many rhinoceroses, and then
Retreating in good order, with bare tusks

And wrinkled snouts presented to the foe,
You know, my lord, the Minotaur

Bore her in triumph to the public sty:

What is still worse, some sows upon the ground PURGANAX (fiercely).

Have given the ape-guards apples, nuts, and gin, Be silent! get to hell ! or I will call

And they all whisk their tails aloft, and cry,
The cat out of the kitchen. Well, Lord Mammon, “ Long live Iona ! down with Swellfoot !"
This is a pretty business !
(Exit the Rat.

Hark!
MAMMON,

THE SWINE, (without). And spell some scheine to make it ugly then. Long live Iona ! down with Swellfoot !

[Erit
Enter SWELLFOOT.

I
SWELLFOOT.
She is returned ! Taurina is in Thebes

Went to the garret of the swineherd's tower,
When Swellfoot wishes that she were in hell !

Which overlooks the sty, and made a long Oh, Hymen ! clothed in yellow jealousy,

Harangue (all words) to the assembled swine, And waving o'er the couch of wedded kings

Of delicacy, mercy, judgment, law, The torch of Discord with its fiery hair ;

Morals, and precedents, and purity, This is thy work, thou patron saint of queens !

Adultery, destitution, and divorce, Swellfoot is wived ! though parted by the sea,

l'iety, faith, and state necessity, The very name of wife had conjugal rights ;

And how I loved the queen !-and then I wept, Her cursed image ate, drank, slept with me,

With the pathos of my own eloquence, And in the arms of Adiposa oft

And every tear turned to a inill-stone, which Her memory has received a husband's

Brained many a gaping pig, and there was mado

A slough of blood and brains upon the place, (A loud tumult, and cries of "Iona for ever!-No Greased with the pounded bacon; round and round Swellfoot!"

The millstones rolled, ploughing the pavement up,

And hurling sucking pigs into the air,
SWELLFOOT.

With dust and stones.

Hark ! How the swine cry Iona Taurina !

Enter MAMMON. 1 suffer the real presence : Purganax, Off with her head !

MAMMON.

I wonder that grey wizards PURGANAX

Like you should be so beardless in their schemes ; But I must first impannel It had been but a point of policy

To keep Iona and the swine apart.

Divide and rule ! but ye have made a junction
SWELLFOOT.

Between two parties who will govern you,
Pack them then.

But for my art.-Behold this Bag! it is
PURGANAX
Or fattening some few in two separate sties,

The poison Bag of that Green Spider huge,
And giving them clean straw, tying some bits

On which our spies skulked in ovation through Oi ribbon round their legs-giving their sows

The streets of Thebes, when they were paved with

dead :

PURGANAX.

I will go

DAKRY.

A jury of the pigs.

A bane so much the deadlier fills it now,

MAMMON. As calumny is worse than death,- for here

Now, with a little common sense, my Lorde The Gadfly's venom, fifty times distilled,

Only undoing all that has been done, Is mingled with the vomit of the Leech,

(Yet so as it may seem we but confirm t, In due proportion, and black ratsbane, which

Our victory is assured. We must entice That very Rat, who, like the Pontic tyrant,

Her Majesty from the sty, and make the pigs
Nurtures himself on poison, dare not touch ;

Believe that the contents of the GREEN BAG
All is sealed up with the broad seal of Fraud,
Who is the Devil's Lord High Chancellor,

Are the true test of guilt or innocence.

And that, if she be guilty, 'twill transform her And over it the primate of all Hell

To manifest deformity like guilt. Murmured this pious baptism :-“ Be thou called

If innocent, she will become transfigured
The GREEN BAG; and this power and grace be thine:

Into an angel, such as they say she is ;
That thy contents, on whomsoever poured,
Turn innocence to guilt, and gentlest looks

And they will see her flying through the air,

So bright that she will dim the noon-day sun; To savage, foul, and fierce deformity, Let all, baptised by thy infernal dew,

Showering down blessings in the shape of comfits.

This, trust a priest, is just the sort of thing Be called adulterer, drunkard, liar, wretch !

Swine will believe. I'll wager you will see them No name left out which orthodoxy loves, Court Journal or legitimate Review

Climbing upon the thatch of their low sties ; Be they called tyrant, beast, fool, glutton, lover

With pieces of smoked glass, to watch her sail

Among the clouds, and some will hold the flaps Of other wives and husbands than their own

Of one another's ears between their teeth, The heaviest sin on this side of the Alps !

To catch the coming hail of comfits in. Wither they to a ghastly caricature

You, Purganax, who have the gift oʻthe gab, Of what was human !-let not man nor beast Behold their face with unaverted eyes !

Make them a solemn speech to this effect : Or hear their names with ears that tingle not

I go to put in readiness the feast

Kept to the honour of our goddess Famine, With blood of indignation, rage, and shame!”

Where, for more glory, let the ceremony This is a perilous liquor ;-good my Lords.

Take place of the uglification of the Queen.
[SWELLFOOT approaches to touch the GREEN BAG.
Beware! for God's sake, beware !—if you should I, as the keeper of your sacred conscience,

DAKRY (to Swellfoot).
The seal, and touch the fatal liquor— [break Humbly remind your Majesty that the care

Of your high office, as man-milliner
There!

To red Bellona, should not be deferred.
Give it to me. I have been use to handle
All sorts of poisons. His dread majesty

All part, in happier plight to meet again.
Only desires to see the colour of it.

(Erasnl

PURGANAX.

PURGANAX.

ACT II.

SCENE I.

The Public Sty.
The Boars in full Assembly.

Enter PURGANAX.

PURGANAX.
Grant me your patience, Gentlemen and Boars,
Ye, by whose patience under public burthens
The glorious constitution of these sties
Subsists, and shall subsist. The lean pig-rates
Grow with the growing populace of swine,
The taxes, that true source of piggishness,
(How can I find a more appropriate term
To include religion, morals, peace, and plenty,
And all that fit Bæotia as a nation
To teach the other nations how to live ?)
Increase with piggishness itself; and still
Does the revenue, that great spring of all
The patronage, and pensions, and by-payments,
Which free-born pigs regard with jealous eyes,
Diminish, till at length, by glorious steps,
All the land's produce will be merged in taxes,
And the revenue will amount to -nothing!
The failure of a foreign market for
Sausages, bristles, and blood-puddings,

And such home manufactures, is but partial;
And, that the population of the pigs,
Instead of hog-wash, has been fed on straw
And water, is a fact which is you know-
That is it is a state necessity-
Temporary, of course. Those impious pigs,
Who, by frequent squeaks, have dared impugn
The settled Swellfoot system, or to make
Irreverent mockery of the genuflexions
Inculcated by the arch-priest, have been whipt
Into a loyal and an orthodox whine.
Things being in this happy state, the Queen
Iona-

A loud cry from the Pigs.
She is innocent ! most innocent !

PURGANAX.
That is the very thing that I was saying,
Gentlemen Swine ; the Queen Iona being
Most innocent, no doubt, returns to Thebes,
And the lean sows and boars collect about her,
Wishing to make her think that we believe
(I mean those more substantial pigs, who swill
Rich hog-wash, while the others mouth damp

straw,)

FIRST BOAR.

THIRD BOAR.

That she is guilty ; thus, the lean-pig faction Into an angel, (as I am sure we shall do,)
Seeks to obtain that hog-wash, which has been By pouring on her head this mystic water.
Your immemorial right, and which I will

[Showing the Bag. Maintain you in to the last drop of

I know that she is innocent ; I wish
A BOAB (interrupting him).

Only to prove her so to all the world.

What
Does any one accuse her of 1

Excelient, just, and noble Purganax !
PURGANAX.

SECOND BOAR.
Why, no one
Makes any positive accusation ;-but

How glorious it will be to see her Majesty
There were hints dropped, and so the privy wizards Flying above our heads, her petticoats
Conceived that it became them to advise

Streaming like-like-like-
His Majesty to investigate their truth;-
Not for his own sake; he could be content

Any thing.
To let his wife play any pranks she pleased,

PURGANAX.
If, by that sufferance, he could please the pigs ;
But then he fears the morals of the swine,

Oh, no!
The sows especially, and what effect

But like a standard of an admiral's ship, It might produce upon the purity and

Or like the banner of a conquering host, Religion of the rising generation

Or like a cloud dyed in the dying day, Of sucking-pigs, if it could be suspected

Unravelled on the blast from a white mountain ; That Queen lona

Or like a meteor, or a war-steed's mane, [A pause.

Or water-fall from a dizzy precipice

Scattered upon the wind.
Well, go on ; we long

FIRST BOAR.
To hear what she can possibly have done.

Or a cow's tail,
PURGAXAX.

SECOND BOAR,
Why, it is hinted, that a certain bull-
Thus much is known :--the milk-white bulls that

Or any thing, as the learned Buar observed. feed

PURGANAX. Beside Clitumnus and the crystal lakes

Gentlemen Boars, I move a resolution, Of the Cisalpine mountains, in fresh dews

That her most sacred Majesty should be
Of lotus-grass and blossoming asphodel,

Invited to attend the feast of Famine,
Sleeking their silken hair, and with sweet breath And to receive upon her chaste white body
Loading the morning winds until they faint Dews of Apotheosis from this Bag.
With living fragrance, are so beautiful !

(A great confusion is heard of the Pigs out of Doors,
Well
, I say nothing but Europa rode

which communicates itself to those within. During On such a one from Asia into Crete,

the first Strophe, the doors of the Sty are staved in, And the enamoured sea grew calm beneath

and a number of exceedingly lean Pigs and Sows His gliding beauty. And Pasiphae,

and Boars rush in. lona's grandmother, but she is innocent !

SEMICHORUS I. And that both you and I, and all assert.

No! Yes!

FIRST BOAR.

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SECOND BOAR.

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Oh! no GREEN Bags !! Jealousy's eyes are green,
Scorpions are green, and water-snakes, and efts,
And verdigris, and

PURGANAX.

Honourable swine,
In piggish souls can prepossessions reign ?
Allow me to remind you, grass is green-
All flesh is grass ;-no bacon but is flesh-
Ye are but bacon. This divining Bag
(Which is not green, but only bacon colour)
Is filled with liquor, which if sprinkled o'er
A woman guilty of-we all know what-
Makes her so hideous, till she finds one blind,
She never can commit the like again.
If innocent, she will turn into an angel,
And rain down blessings in the shape of comfits
As she fies up to heaven. Now, my proposal
Is to convert her sacred Majesty

Order ! order ! be not rash !
Was there ever such a scene, Pigs !

AN OLD Sow (rushing in).
I never saw so fine a dash
Since I first began to wean pigs.

SECOND BOAR (solemnly).
The Queen will be an angel time enough.
I vote, in form of an amendment, that
Purganax rub a little of that stuff
Upon his face

PURGANAX.

SEMICHORUS I.

Decked with rare gems, and beauty rarer still,

Walked from Killarney to the Giant's Causeway, [His heart is seen to beat through his waistcoat. Through rebels, smugglers, troops of yeomanry, Gods! What would ye be at ?

White-boys, and orange-boys, and constables,
Tithe-proctors, and excise people, uninjured !

Thus L-
Purganax has plainly shown a

Lord PURGANAX, I do commit myself
Cloven foot and jack-daw feather.

Into your custody, and am prepared

To stand the test, whatever it may be !
SEMICHORUS II.
I vote Swellfoot and Iona

PURGANAX.
Try the magic test together ;

This magnanimity in your

sacred Majesty Whenever royal spouses bicker,

Must please the pigs. You cannot fail of being Both should try the magic liquor.

A heavenly angel. Smoke your bits of glass,

Ye loyal swine, or her transfiguration
AN OLD ROAR (aside).
A miserable state is that of pigs,

Will blind your wondering eyes
For if their drivers would tear caps and wigs,

AN OLD BOAR (aside). The swine must bite each other's ear therefore.

Take care, my Lord, AN OLD sow (aside).

They do not smoke you first. A wretched lot Jove has assigned to swine,

PURGANAX. Squabbling makes pig-herds hungry, and they dine

At the approaching feast On bacon, and whip sucking-pigs the more.

Of Famine, let the expiation be.

CHORUS.

SWINE.
Hog-wash has been ta'en away:

Content ! content !
If the Bull-Queen is divested,
We shall be in every way.

IONA TAURINA (aside).
Hunted, stript, exposed, molested;

I, most content of all,
Let us do whate'er we may,

Know that my foes even thus prepare their fall ! That she shall not be arrested.

(Excunt omnes QUEEN, we entrench you with walls of brawn,

And palisades of tusks, sharp as a bayonet :
Place your most sacred person here. We pawn
Our lives that none a finger dare to lay on it.

Those who wrong you, wrong us ;
Those who hate you, hate us ;

SCENE II.
Those who sting you, sting us ;

The interior of the Temple of FAMINE. The statue of the
Those who bait you, bait us ;

Goddess, a skeleton clothed in party-coloured rags, scatel The oracle is now about to be

upon a heap of skulls and loaves intermingled. A numFulfilled by circumvolving destiny ;

ber of exceedingly fat Pricsts in black garments arrayed Which says: “ Thebes, choose reform or civil war,

on each side, with marrow-bones and cleavers in their When through your streets, instead of hare with

hands. A flourish of trumpets. dogs,

Enter MAMMON as Arch-priest, SWELLFOOT, DAKRY, A CONSORT QUEEN shall hunt a King with hogs, PURGANAX, LAOCTONOS, followed by Iona TAURINA Riding upon the Ionian MINOTAUR."

guarded. On the other side enter the Swine.
Enter IONA TAURINA

CHORUS OF PRIESTS,
IONA TAURINA (coming forward).

Accompanied by the Court Porkman on marrow-bones.

and cleavers. Gentlemen swine, and gentle lady-pigs, The tender heart of every boar acquits

Goddess bare, and gaunt, and pale, Their Queen, of any act incongruous

Empress of the world, all hail ! With native piggishness, and she reposing

What though Cretans old called thee With confidence upon the grunting nation,

City-crested Cybele ?

We call thee FAMINE !
Has thrown herself, her cause, her life, her all,
Her innocence, into their hoggish arms ;

Goddess of fasts and feasts, starving and cramNor has the expectation been deceived

ming ; Of finding shelter there. Yet know, great boars,

Through thee, for emperors, kings, and priests and (For such who ever lives among you finds you,

lords, And so do I) the innocent are proud !

Who rule by viziers, sceptres, bank-notes, words, I have accepted your protection only

The earth pcurs forth its plenteous fruits,

[fat, In compliment of your kind love and care,

Corn, wool, linen, flesh, and rootsNot for necessity. The innocent

Those who consume these fruits through thee grow Are safest there where trials and dangers wait ;

Those who produce these fruits through thee Innocent Queens o'er white-hot plough-shares

grow lean, tread

Whatever change takes place, oh, stick to that! Unsinged; and ladies, Erin's laureate sings it,*

And let things be as they have ever been ;

At least while we remain thy priests, • Rich and rare were the gems she wore.'

And proclaim thy fasts and feasts !
Sce Moore's Irish Melodies. Through thee the sacred SWELLFOOT dynasty

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