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nance. Psha, psha, Charles,' cries the figure, no more of that if you love me: you know I hate flattery, on my soul I do; and yet to be sure an intimacy with the great will improve one's appearance, and a course of venison will fatten; and yet faith I despise the great as much as you do; but there are a great many damned honest fellows among them, and we must not quarrel with one half because the other wants breeding. If they were all such as my Lord Mudler, one of the most good-natured creatures that ever squeezed a lemon, I should myself be among the number of their admirers. I was yesterday to dine at the Duchess of Piccadilly's. My lord was there. Ned, says he to me, Ned, says he, I will hold gold to silver I can tell where you were poaching last night, Poaching! my lord, says, I; faith you have missed already; for I staid at home and let the girls poach for me. That is my way: I take a fine woman as some animals do their prey; stand still, and swoop, they fall mouth.'
Ah, Tibbs, thou art a happy fellow,' cried my companion, with looks of infinite pity. I hope your fortune is as much improved as your under. standing in such company.' Improved!' replied
the other; you shall know, but let it go no far. ther, a great secret-five hundred a year to begin with-My lord's word of honour for it-His lordship took me in his own chariot yesterday, and we had a tête-à-tête dinner in the country, where we talked of nothing else. I fancy you forgot, sir,' cried I, you told us but this moment of your dining yesterday in town? Did I say so?' replied he coolly. To be sure, if I said so, it was so.Dined in town: egad, now I remember I did dine in town; but I dined in the country too: for you must know, my boys, I eat two dinners. By the bye, I am grown as nice as the devil in my eating. I will tell you a pleasant affair about that: we were a select party of us to dine at Lady Gro
grain's, an affected piece, but let it go no farther; a secret: Well, says I, I will hold a thousand guineas, and say Done first, that-But, dear Charies, you are an honest creature: lend me half a crown for a minute or two, or so, just till-But hark'ee, ask me for it the next time we meet, or it may be twenty to one but I forget to pay you.'
When he left us, our conversation naturally turned upon so extraordinary a character. His very dress,' cries my friend, 'is not less extraordinary than his conduct. If you meet him this day, you find him in rags; if the next, in embroidery. With those persons of distinction, of whom he talks so familiarly, he has scarce a coffee-house acquaintance. However, both for the interest of society, and perhaps for his own, Heaven has made him poor: and while all the world perceives his wants, he fancies them concealed from every eye. An agreeable companion, because he understands flattery; and all must be pleased with the first part of his conversation, though all are sure of its ending with a demand on their purse. While his youth countenances the levity of his conduct, he may thus earn a precarious subsistence: but, when age comes on, the gravity of which is incompatible with baffoonery, then will he find himself forsaken by all: condemned in the decline of life to hang apon some rich family whom he once despised, there to undergo all the ingenuity of studied contempt; to be employed only as a spy upon the servants, or a bug bear to fright children into duty.'
are some acquaintances whom it is no easy matter to shake off. terday overtook me again in
My little beau yesone of the public
walks, and slapping me on the shoulder, saluted me with an air of the most perfect familiarity. His dress was the same as usual, except that he had more powder in his hair, wore a dirtier shirt, aud had on a pair of Temple spectacles, and his hat under his arm.
As I knew him to be a harmless amusing little thing, I could not returu his smiles with auy degree of severity; so we walked forward on terms of the utmost intimacy, and in a few minutes discussed all the usual topics preliminary to particular conversation.
The oddities that marked his character, however, soon began to appear; he bowed to several welldressed persons, who, by their manner of returning the compliment, appeared perfect strangers. At intervals he drew out a pocket-book, seeming to take memorandums before all the company with much importance and assiduity. In this manner he led me through the length of the whole Mall, fretting at his absurdities, and fancying myself laughed at as well as him by every spectator.
When we were got to the end of our procession, 'Blast me,' cries he, with an air of vivacity, I never saw the Park so thin in my life before; there's no company at all to-day. Not a single face to be No company,' interrupted I, peevishly, 'no company where there is such a crowd! Why, man, there is too much. What are the thousands that have been laughing at us but company?'
Lord, my dear,' returned he with the utmost good humour, you seem immensely chagrined; but, blast me, when the world laughs at me, I laugh at the world, and so we are even. My Lord Trip, Bill Squash the Creolian, and I, sometimes make a party at being ridiculous; and so we say and do a thousand things for the joke's sake. But I see you are grave; and if you are for a fine grave sentimen. tal companion, you shall dine with my wife to-day; I must insist on't; I'll introduce you to Mrs. Tibbs, Jady of as elegant qualifications as any in nature;
she was bred, but that's between ourselves, under the inspection of the Countess of Shoreditch. A charming body of voice! But no more of that, she shall give us a song. You shall see my little girl too, Carolina Wilhelmina Amelia Tibbs, a sweet pretty creature: I design her for my lord Drumstick's eldest son; but that's in friendship, let it go no farther; she's but six years old, and yet she walks a minuet, and plays on the guitar, immensely already. I intend she shall be as perfect as possible in every accomplishment. In the first place, I'll make her a scholar; I'll teach her Greek myself, and I intend to learn that language purposely to instruct her, but let that be a secret.'
Thus saying, without waiting for a reply, he took me by the arm and hauled me along. We passed through many dark alleys and winding ways; for, from some motives to me unknown, he seemed to have a particular aversion to every frequented strect; at last, however, we got to the door of a dis. mal-looking house in the outlets of the town, where he informed me he chose to reside for the benefit of the air.
We entered the lower door, which seemed ever to lie most hospitably open; and I began to ascend an old and creaked staircase; when, as he mounted to show me the way, he demanded, whether I delighted in prospects; to which answering in the affirmative, Then,' said he, I shall show you one of the most charming out of my windows; we shall see the ships sailing, and the whole country for twenty miles round, tip top, quite high. My lord Swamp would give ten thousand guineas for such a one; but, as I sometimes pleasantly tell him, I always love to keep my prospects at home, that my friends may come to see me the oftener.'
By this time we were arrived as high as the stairs would permit us to ascend, till we came to what he was facetiously pleased to call the first floor down the chimney; and knocking at the door, a
voice, with a Scotch accent, from within démanded, 'Wha's there?' My conductor answered, that it was him. But this not satisfying the querist, the voice again repeated the demand; to which he an swered louder than before; and now the door was opened by an old maid-servant with cautious reluctance.
When we were got in, he welcomed me to his house with great ceremony, and turning to the old woman, asked where her lady was. 'Good troth,' replied she in the northern dialect, she's washing your twa shirts at the next door, because they have taken an oath against lending out the tub any longer. My two shirts!' cried he in a tone that faltered with confusion, 'what does the idiot mean?
Iken what I mean well enough,' replied the other; she's washing your twa shirts at the next door, because- Fire and fury, no more of thy stupid explanations,' cried he. Go and inform her we have got company. Were that Scotch hag,' continued he, turning to me, to be for ever in my family, she would never learn politeness, nor forget that absurd poisonous accent of hers, or testify the smallest specimen of breeding or bigh life; and yet it is very surprising too, as I had her from à parliament man, a friend of mine, from the HighJands, one of the politest men in the world; but that's a secret.'
We waited some time for Mrs. Tibbs's arrival, during which interval I had a full opportunity of surveying the chamber and all its furniture: which consisted of four chairs with old wrought bottoms, that he assured me were his wife's embroidery; a square table that had been once japanned, a cradle in one corner, a lumber-cabinet in the other; a broken shepherdess, and a mandarine without a head, were stuck over the chimney; and round the walls several paltry, unframed pictures, which he observed were all of his own drawing. 'What do you think, sir, of that head in the corner, done in