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HONEYWOOD.
Without doubt, perfectly absurd.

CROAKER.
Then you are of my opinion ?

HONEY WOOD.
Entirely.

Mrs. CROAKER. And you reject mine?

HONEYWOOD. Heavens forbid, madam! No, sure, no reasoning can be more just than yours. We ought certainly to despise malice if we cannot oppose it, and not make the incendiary's pen as fatal to our repose as the highwayman’s pistol.

Mrs. CROAKER.
O! then you think I'm quite right?

HONEYWOOD.
Perfectly right.

CROAKER. A plague of plagues, we can't be both right. I ought to be sorry, or I ought to be glad. My hat must be on my head, or my hat must be off.

Mrs. CROAKER. Certainly, in two opposite opinions, if one be perfectly reasonable, the other can't be perfectly right.

HONEYWOOD. And why may not both be right, madam ? Mr. Croaker in earnestly feeking redress, and you in waiting the event with good humour ? Pray let me VOL. II. H

fee

see the letter again. I have it. This letter requires twenty guineas to be left at the bar of the Talbot inn. If it be indeed an incendiary letter, what if you and I, Sir, go there ; and, when the writer comes to be paid his expected booty, seize him ?

CROAKER. My dear friend, it's the very thing; the very thing. While I walk by the door, you shall plant yourself in ambush near the bar;

burst out upon

the miscreant like a masqued battery; extort a confeffion at once, and so hang him up by surprise.

HONEYWOOD. Yes; but I would not chuse to exercise too much feverity. It is my maxim, Sir, that crimes generally punish themselves.

CROAKER. Well, but we may upbraid him a little, I suppose ?

[Ironically. HONEYWOOD. Aye, but not punish him too rigidly.

CROAKER. Well, well, leave that to my own benevolence.

HONEYWOOD. Well, I do: but remember that universal benevolence is the first law of nature.

[Exeunt Honeywood and Mrs. Croaker.

CROAKER, Yes; and my universal benevolence will hang the dog, if he had as many necks as a hydra.

ACT

ACT THE FIFT H.

Scene, an Inn.

Enter Olivia, Jarvis.

OLIVIA. Well, we have got safe to the Inn, however. Now, if the post-chaise were ready

JARVIS. The horses are just finishing their oats; and, as they are not going to be married, they choose to take their own time.

OLIVIA. You are for ever giving wrong motives to my im: patience.

JARVIS. Be as impatient as you will, the horfes must take their own time; besides, you don't consider, we have got no answer from our fellow-traveller yet. If we hear nothing from Mr. Leontine, we have only one way left us.

OLIVIA.
What way?
H 2

Jarvis.

JARVIS. The way home again.

OLIVIA. Not so. I have made a resolution to go, and nothing shall induce me to break it.

JARVIS. Aye; resolutions are well kept, when they jump with inclination. However, I'll go hasten things without. And I'll call, too, at the bar, to see if any thing should be left for ús there. Don't be in such a plaguy hurry, madam, and we shall go the faster, I promise you.

[Exit Jarvis.

1

Enter LANDLADY.

1

LANDLADY. What! Solomon, why don't you move? Pipes and tobacco for the Lamb there. - Will nobody answer ? To the Dolphin ; quick. The Angel has been outrageous this half hour. Did your ladyship call, madam?

OLIVIA. No, madam,

LANDLADY. I find, as you're for Scotland, madam-But that's no bufinefs of mine; married, or not married, I ask no questions. To be sure, we had a sweet little couple set off from this two days ago for the same place. The gentleman, for a taylor, was, to be sure, as fine a spoken taylor, as ever blew froth from a full

pot.

pot. And the young lady so bashful, it was near half an hour before we could get her to finish a pint of raiberry between us.

OLIVIA. But this gentleman and I are not going to be married, I affure you.

LANDLADY. May be not. That's no business of mine; for certain, Scotch marriages seldom turn out. There was, of my own knowledge, Mifs Macfag, that married her father's footman.-Alack-a-day, she and her husband foon parted, and now keep feparate cellars in Hedge-lane.

OLIVIA.
A very pretty picture of what lies before me!

[Aside.

Enter LEONTINE.

LEONTINE. My dear Olivia, my anxiety, till you were out of danger, was too great to be resisted. I could not help coming to see you set out, though it exposes us to a discovery

OLIVIA. May every thing you do prove as fortunate. Indeed, Leontine, we have been most cruelly disappointed. Mr. Honeywood's bill upon the city has, it seems, been protested, and we have been utterly at a loss how to proceed.

LEON

H 3

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