Heavens forbid, madam! No, fure, no reafoning can be more just than yours. We ought certainly to defpife malice if we cannot oppofe it, and not make the incendiary's pen as fatal to our repofe as the highwayman's piftol.

Mrs. CROAKER.

O! then you think I'm quite right?

Perfectly right.

HONEYWOOD.

CROAKER.

A plague of plagues, we can't be both right. I ought to be forry, or I ought to be glad. My hat must be on my head, or my hat must be off.

Mrs. CROAKER.

Certainly, in two oppofite opinions, if one be perfectly reasonable, the other can't be perfectly right.

HONEYWOOD.

And why may not both be right, madam? Mr. Croaker in earneftly feeking redrefs, waiting the event with good humour?

and you in

Pray let me

fee

fee the letter again. I have it. This letter requires twenty guineas to be left at the bar of the Talbot inn. If it be indeed an incendiary letter, what if you and I, Sir, go there; and, when the writer comes to be paid his expected booty, seize him?

CROAKER.

My dear friend, it's the very thing; the very thing. While I walk by the door, you shall plant yourself in ambush near the bar; burst out upon the mifcreant like a masqued battery; extort a confeffion at once, and fo hang him up by surprise.

HONEYWOOD.

Yes; but I would not chufe to exercife too much feverity. It is my maxim, Sir, that crimes generally punish themselves.

CROAKER.

Well, but we may upbraid him a little, I fup

pofe?

HONEYWOOD.

Aye, but not punish him too rigidly.

CROAKER.

[Ironically.

Well, well, leave that to my own benevolence.

HONEYWOOD.

Well, I do: but remember that univerfal benevolence is the firft law of nature.

[Exeunt Honeywood and Mrs. Croaker. CROAKER.

Yes; and my univerfal benevolence will hang the dog, if he had as many necks as a hydra.

АСТ

WEL

АСТ ТНЕ FIFTH.

SCENE, an Inn.

Enter OLIVIA, JARVIS.

OLIVIA.

ELL, we have got safe to the Inn, however. Now, if the poft-chaife were ready

JARVIS.

The horses are just finishing their oats; and, as they are not going to be married, they choose to take their own time.

OLIVIA.

You are for ever giving wrong motives to my impatience.

JARVIS.

Be as impatient as you will, the horfes muft take their own time; befides, you don't confider, we have got no answer from our fellow-traveller yet. If we hear nothing from Mr. Leontine, we have only one way left us.

OLIVIA.

What way

y?

H 2

JARVIS.

Not fo. I have made a refolution to go, and nothing fhall induce me to break it.

JARVIS.

Aye; refolutions are well kept, when they jump with inclination. However, I'll go haften things. without. And I'll call, too, at the bar, to see if any thing fhould be left for us there. Don't be in fuch a plaguy hurry, madam, and we fafter, I promife you.

Enter LANDLADY.

LANDLADY.

shall go the [Exit Jarvis.

What! Solomon, why don't you move? Pipes and tobacco for the Lamb there.-Will nobody anfwer? To the Dolphin; quick. The Angel has been outrageous this half hour. Did your ladyfhip call, madam?

No, madam.

OLIVIA.

LANDLADY.

I find, as you're for Scotland, madam-But that's no business of mine; married, or not married, I ask no questions. To be fure, we had a sweet little couple fet off from this two days ago for the fame place. The gentleman, for a taylor, was, to be fure, as fine a spoken taylor, as ever blew froth from a full

pot.

pot. And the young lady fo bafhful, it was near half an hour before we could get her to finish a pint of rafberry between us.

OLIVIA.

But this gentleman and I are not going to be married, I affure you.

LANDLADY.

May be not. That's no bufinefs of mine; for certain, Scotch marriages feldom turn out. There was, of my own knowledge, Mifs Macfag, that married her father's footman.-Alack-a-day, fhe and her husband foon parted, and now keep feparate cellars in Hedge-lane.

OLIVIA.

A very pretty picture of what lies before me!

[Afide.

Enter LEONTINE.

LEONTINE.

My dear Olivia, my anxiety, till you were out of danger, was too great to be refifted. I could not help coming to fee you fet out, though it expofes us to a difcovery.

OLIVIA.

May every thing you do prove as fortunate. Indeed, Leontine, we have been moft cruelly difappointed. Mr. Honeywood's bill upon the city has, it seems, been protefted, and we have been utterly at a lofs how to proceed.