페이지 이미지
PDF
ePub
[ocr errors][merged small][merged small]

Enter Mr. WoodWARD, dressed in Black, and

holding a handkerchief to his Eyes.

Excuse me, Sirs, I pray—I can't yet speak--
I'm crying now—and have been all the week.
“ "Tis not alone this mourning suit,” good mafters;
" I've that within”--for which there are no plasters!
Pray, would you know the reafon why I'm crying?
The comic muse, long sick, is now a dying!
And if she goes, my tears will never stop ;
Por as a play’r, I can't squeeze out one drop :
I am undone, that's all-sall lose

my bread
I'd rather, but that's nothing-lose my head.
When the sweet maid is laid upon the bier,
Shuter and I shall be chief mourners here.
To her a mawkish drab of spurious breed,
Who deals in Sentimentals, will succeed !
Poor Ned and I are dead to all intents;
We can as soon speak Greek as Sentiments!
Both nervous grown, to keep our spirits up,
We now and then take down a hearty cup.

What

What shall we do?-If Comedy forsake us ! They'll turn us out, and no one else will take us. But, why can't I be moral ?--Let me tryMy heart thus presing-fix'd my face and eyeWith a sententious look, that nothing means, (Faces are blocks, in sentimental scenes) Thus I begin-“ All is not gold that glitters, “ Pleasures seem sweet, but prove a glass of bitters. When ign’rance enters, folly is at hand : “ Learning is better far than house and land. Let not your virtue trip, who trips may stumble, “ And virtue is not virtue, if she tumble.”

I give it up-morals won't do for me;
To make you laugh, I must play tragedy.
One hope remains-hearing the maid was ill,
A Doctor comes this night to thew his skill.
To cheer her heart, and give your muscles motion,
He, in Five Draughts prepar'd, presents a potion :
A kind of magic charm--for be affur’d,
If
you

will swallow it, the maid is cur'd:
But desp'rate the Doctor, and her case is,
If you reject the dose, and make wry faces !
This truth he boasts, will boast it while he lives,
No pois’nous drugs are mix'd in what he gives.
Should he succeed, you'll give him his degree :
If not, within he will receive no fee!
The college you, must his pretensions back,
Pronounce him Regular, or dub him Quack.

[blocks in formation]
[blocks in formation]
[merged small][merged small][ocr errors][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small]

Scene, a Chamber in an old-fashioned House.

[ocr errors]

Enter Mrs. HARDCASTLE and Mr. HARDCASTLE.

Mrs. HARDCASTLE.
I vow, Mr. Hardcastle, you're very particular.
Is there a creature in the whole country, but our-
selves, that does not take a trip to town now and
then, to rub off the rust a little? There's the two
Miss Hoggs, and our neighbour, Mrs. Grigsby, go
to take a month's polishing every winter.

HARDCASTLE.
Aye, and bring back vanity and affectation to last
them the whole year. I wonder why London can-
not keep its own fools at home! In my time, the

follies

K4

[ocr errors]

follies of the town crept slowly among us, but now they travel fafter than a stage-coach. Its fopperies come down, not only as infide passengers, but in the

very basket.

Mrs. Hardcastle. Aye, your times were fine times, indeed; you have been telling us of them for many a long year. Here we live in an old rumbling manfion, that looks for all the world like an inn, but that we never see company.

Our best visitors are old Mrs. Oddfish, the curate's wife, and little Cripplegate, the lame dancing-master: and all our entertainment your old stories of prince Eugene and the duke of Marlborough. I hate such old-fashioned trumpery.

HARDCASTLE. And I love it. I love every thing that's old: old friends, old times, old manners, old books, old wine; and, I believe, Dorothy, taking her hand) you'll own I have been pretty fond of an old wife.

Mrs. HARDCASTLE. Lord, Mr. Hardcastle, you're for ever at your Dorothy's and your old wife's. You may be a Darby, but I'll be no Joan, I promise you. I'm not so old as you'd make me, by more than one good Add twenty to twenty, and make money

of that.

HARDCASTL7. Let me see; twenty added to twenty, makes just fifty and feren.

Mrs.

[ocr errors][merged small]

year.

[ocr errors][merged small]
« 이전계속 »