HASTINGS.

No lady begins now to put on jewels 'till fhe's past forty. For instance, Mifs there, in a polite circle, would be confidered as a child, as a mere maker of famplers.

Mrs. HARDCASTLE.

And yet Mrs. Niece thinks herself as much a woman, and is as fond of jewels as the oldest of us all.

HASTINGS.

Your niece, is fhe? And that young gentleman, a brother of yours, I fhould prefume?

Mrs. HARDCASTLE.

My fon, Sir. They are contracted to each other. Obferve their little fports. They fall in and out ten times a day, as if they were man and wife already. (To them) Well, Tony, child, what soft things are you faying to your coufin Conftance this evening?

TONY.

I have been saying no foft things; but that it's very hard to be followed about fo. Ecod! I've not a place in the house now that's left to myself, but the stable.

Mrs. HARDCASTLE.

Never mind him, Con, my dear. He's in another flory behind your back.

Mifs NEVILLE.

There's fomething generous in my coufin's manner. He falls out before faces to be forgiven in private.

TONY.

That's a damned confounded-crack.

Mrs. HARDCASTLE.

Ah! he's a fly one. Don't you think they're like each other about the mouth, Mr. Haftings? The Blenkinfop mouth to a T. They're of a fize Back to back, my pretties, that Mr. Hastings

too.

may fee you. Come, Tony.

TONY.

You had as good not make me, I tell you.

Mifs NEVILLE.

O lud! he has almoft cracked my

Mrs. HARDCASTLE.

(Measuring.)

head.

O the monfter! For fhame, Tony. You a man, and behave fo!

TONY.

If I'm a man, let me have my fortin. Ecod! I'll not be made a fool of no longer.

Mrs. HARDCASTLE.

Is this, ungrateful boy, all that I'm to get for the pains I have taken in your education? I that have rock'd you in your cradle, and fed that pretty mouth with a spoon! Did not I work that waistcoat to make you genteel? Did not I prescribe for

you

you every day, and weep while the receipt was operating?

TONY.

Ecod! you had reafon to weep, for you have been doing me ever fince I was born. I have gone through every receipt in the complete housewife ten times over; and you have thoughts of courfing me through Quincy next spring. But, ecod! I tell you, I'll not be made a fool of no longer.

Mrs. HARDCASTLE.

Wasn't it all for your good, viper? Wasn't it all for your good?

TONY.

I wish you'd let me and my good alone then. Snubbing this way when I'm in fpirits. If I'm to have any good, let it come of itfelf; not to keep dinging it, dinging it into one fo.

Mrs. HARDCASTLE.

That's falfe; I never fee you when you're in fpirits. No, Tony, you then go to the alehoufe or kennel. I'm never to be delighted with your agreeable, wild notes, unfeeling monster!

TONY.

Ecod! mamma, your own notes are the wildeft of the two.

Mrs. HARDCASTLE.

Was ever the like? But I fee he wants to break my heart, I fee he does.

HAST

HASTINGS.

Dear madam, permit me to lecture the young gentleman a little. I'm certain I can perfuade him to his duty.

Mrs. HARDCASTLE.

Well! I must retire. Come, Conftance, my love. You fee, Mr. Haftings, the wretchedness of my fituation: was ever poor woman fo plagued with a dear, fweet, pretty, provoking, undutiful boy.

[Exeunt Mrs. Hardcastle and Mifs Neville.

HASTINGS, TONY.

TONY, finging.

"There was a young man riding by, and fain "would have his will. Rang do didlo dee.”Don't mind her. Let her cry. It's the comfort of her heart. I have feen her and fifter cry over a book for an hour together, and they faid, they liked the book the better the more it made them cry.

HASTINGS.

Then you're no friend to the ladies, I find, my pretty young gentleman ?

That's as I find 'um.

TONY.

HASTINGS.

Not to her of your mother's chufing, I dare anfwer? And yet she appears to me a pretty well-tem

ΤΟΝΥ.

That's because you don't know her as well as I. Ecod! I know every inch about her; and there's not a more bitter cantanckerous toad in all chriftendom.

HASTINGS.

(Afide) Pretty encouragement this for a lover!

TONY.

I have feen her fince the height of that. She has as many tricks as a hare in a thicket, or a colt the first day's breaking.

HASTINGS.

To me the appears fenfible and filent!

TONY.

Aye, before company. But when she's with her play-mate fhe's as loud as a hog in a gate.

HASTINGS.

But there is a meek modesty about her that charms

me.

TONY.

Yes, but curb her never fo little, the kicks up, and you're flung in a ditch.

HASTINGS.

Well, but you must allow her a little beauty.Yes, you must allow her fome beauty.

TONY.

Bandbox! She's all a made up thing, mum. Ah! could you but fee Bet Bouncer of thefe parts,

you