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Mrs. CROAKER. You see now, my dear. What an extensive department! Well, friend, let your master know, that we are extremely honoured by this honour. there any thing ever in a higher style of breeding ! All messages among the great are now done by express.
CROAKER. To be sure, no man does little things with more solemnity, or claims more respect than he. But he's in the right on't. In our bad world, respect is given, where respect is claim'd.
Mrs. CROAKER. Never mind the world, my dear; you were never in a pleasanter place in your life. Let us now think of receiving him with proper respect (a loud rapping at the door) and there he is by the thundering rap.
CROAKER. Ay, verily, there he is; as close upon the heels of his own express, as an indorsement upon the back of a bill. Well, I'll leave you to receive him, whilft I go to chide my little Olivia for intending to steal a marriage without mine, or her aunt's consent. I must seem to be angry, or she too may begin to despise my authority.
Enter Lofty, speaking to his Servant.
Lofty. " And if the Venetian ambassador, or that teazing creature the marquis, thould call, I'm not at home. Dam’me, I'll be pack-horse to none of them.” My dear madam, I have just snatched a momentą“ And if the expresses to his grace be ready, let them be sent off; they're of importance.” Madam, I ask a thousand pardons.
Mrs. CROAKER. Sir, this honour
LOFTY. “ And Dubardieu ! if the person calls about the commission, let him know that it is made out. As for lord Cumbercourt's ftale request, it can keep cold :
: you understand me.” Madam, I ak ten thoufand pardons.
Mrs. CROAKER. Sir, this honour
LOFTY. " And, Dubardieu ! if the man comes from the Cornish borough, you must do him; you must do him, I say.” Madam, I aik ten thousand pardons. 56 And if the Rudian-ambassador calls: but he will scarce call to-day, I believe.” And now, madam, I have just got time to express my happiness in having the honour of being permitted to profess myself your most obedient humble servant,
Mrs. CROAKER. Sir, the happiness and honour are all mine ; and yet, I'm only robbing the public while I detain you.
Lofty. Sink the public, madam, when the fair are to be attended. Ah, could all my hours be so charmingly devoted! Sincerely, don't you pity us poor creatures in affairs ? Thus it is eternally ; solicited for places here, teized for pensions there, and courted every where. I know you pity me.
Yes, I see you do.
Mrs. CROAKER. Excuse me, Sir. “ Toils of empires pleasures are," as Waller says.
Lofty. Oh, a modern! We men of business despise the moderns; and as for the ancients, we have no time to read them. Poetry is a pretty thing enough for our wives and daughters ; but not for us. Why now, here I stand that know nothing of books. I say, madam, I know nothing of books; and yet, I believe, upon a land carriage fishery, a ftamp act, or a jag-hire, I can talk my two hours without feeling the want of them.
Mrs. CROAKER. The world is no ftranger to Mr. Lofty's eminence in every capacity.
LOFTY. I vow to gad, madam, you make me blush. I'm nothing, nothing, nothing in the world; a mere obscure gentleman. To be sure, indeed, one or two of the present ministers are pleased to represent me as a formidable man. I know they are pleased to be-spatter me at all their little dirty levees. Yet, upon my soul, I wonder what they see in me to treat me so ! Measures, not men, have always been my mark; and I vow, by all that's honourable, my resentment has never done the men, as mere men, any manner of harm--that is as mere men.
Lofty. Oh, if you talk of modesty, madam ! there I own, I'm accessible to praise: modesty is my foible : it was so, the duke of Brentford used to say of me. “I love Jack Lofty, he used to say:" no man has a finer knowledge of things; quite a man of information; and when he speaks upon his legs, by the Lord he's prodigious, he scouts them; and yet all men have their faults; too much modefty is his, says
Mrs. CROAKER. And yet, I dare say, you don't want affurance when you come to folicit for your friends.
LOFTY. O, there indeed I'm in bronze. Apropos ! I have juft been mentioning Miss Richland's case to a certain personage; we must name no names. When I ask, I'm not to be put off, madam. No, no, I take my friend by the button. A fine girl, Sir; great justice in her case. A friend of mine. Borough interest. Business must be done, Mr. Secretary. I say, Mr. Secretary, her business must be done, Sir. That's my way, madam.
Mrs. CROAKER. Bless me!
said all this to the secretary of ftate, did you?
LOFTY. I did not say the secretary, did I? Well, curse it, since
you have found me out I will not deny it. It was to the secretary.
Mrs. CROAKER. This was going to the fountain head at once, not applying to the understrappers, as Mr. Honeywood would have had us.
Lofty. Honeywood! he! he! He was, indeed, a fine folicitor. I suppose you have heard what has just happened to him?