페이지 이미지
PDF
ePub

JARVIS. (Pulling out bills) A few of our usual cards of compliment, that's all. This bill from your taylor; this from your mercer; and this from the little broker in Crooked-lane. He says he has been at a great deal of trouble to get back the money you borrowed.

Honeywood. That I don't know; but I'm sure we were at a great deal of trouble in getting him to lend it.

JARVIS. He has lost all patience.

HONEYWOOD. Then he has loft a very good thing.

JARVIS. There's that ten guineas you were sending to the poor gentleman and his children in the Fleet. I believe that would stop his mouth, for a while at least.

HoneyWOOD. Ay, Jarvis, but what will fill their mouths in the mean time? Muft I be cruel because he happens to be importunate; and, to relieve his avarice, leave them to insupportable distress?

JARVIS. 'Sdeath! Sir, the question now is how to relieve yourself. Yourself-Hav’nt I reason to be out of my senses, when I see things going at fixes and sevens?

[blocks in formation]

HONEYWOOD. Whatever reason you may have for being out of your senses, I hope you'll allow that I'm not quite unreasonable for continuing in mine.

JARVIS. You're the only man alive in your present situation that could do fo-Every thing upon the waste. There's Miss Richland and her fine fortune gone already, and upon the point of being given to your rival.

Honeywood. I'm no man's rival.

JARVIS. Your uncle in Italy preparing to disinherit you ; your own fortune almoft spent; and nothing but pressing creditors, false friends, and a pack of drunken servants that your kindness has made unfit for any other family.

HONEYWOOD. Then they have the more occasion for being in mine.

JARVIS. Soh! What will you have done with him that I caught stealing your plate in the pantry? In the fact ; I caught him in the fact.

HONEYWOOD. In the fact? If so, I really think that we should pay him his wages, and turn him off.

JARVIS.

Jarvis.. He shall be turn'd off at Tyburn, the dog; we'll hang him, if it be only to frighten the rest of the family.

HONEYWOOD. : No, Jarvis : it's enough that we have loft what he has stolen, let us not add to it the loss of a fellow creature !

JARVIS. Very fine; well, here was the footman just now, to complain of the butler; he says he does most work, and ought to have most wages.

HONEYWOOD. That’s but just; though perhaps here comes the butler to complain of the footman.

JARVIS. Ay, its the way with them all, from the scullion to the privy-counsellor. If they have a bad master,

they keep quarrelling with him : if they have a good - master, they keep quarrelling with one another.

Enter BUTLER, drunk.

Butler. Sir, I'll not stay in the family with Jonathan you must part with him, or part

with
me,

that's the ex-ex-exposition of the matter, Sir.

HONEYWOOD. Full and explicit enough. But what's his fault, good Philip?

BUTLER.

go

BUTLER.
Sir, he's given to drinking, Sir, and I shall have
my morals corrupted, by keeping such company.

HONEYWOOD.
Ha! ha! He has such a diverting way-

JARVIS.
O quite amusing.

BUTLER. I find my wines a-going, Sir; and liquors don't go without mouths, Sir; I hate a drunkard, Sir.

HONEYWOOD,
Well, well, Philip, I'll hear you upon that ano-
ther time, so go to bed now.

JARVIS.
To bed! Let him the devil.

BUTLER.
Begging your honour's pardon, and begging your
pardon, master Jarvis, I'll not go to bed, nor to the
devil neither. I have enough to do to mind my

cellar. I forgot, your honour, Mr. Croaker is below. I came on purpose to tell you.

HONEYWOOD. Why didn't

you Mew him up, blockhead ?

BUTLER.
Shew him up, Sir! With all my heart, Sir. Up
or down, all's one to me.

Exit.
JARVIS.
Ay, we have one or other of that family in this
house from morning till night. He comes on the

old

[ocr errors]

old affair, I suppose. The match between his son, that's just returned from Paris, and Miss Richland, the young lady he's guardian to.

HONEYWOOD. Perhaps so. Mr. Croaker, knowing my friendfhip for the young lady, has got it into his head that I can perswade her to what I please.

JARVIS. Ah! if you loved yourself but half as well as she loves you, we should soon see a marriage that would fet all things to rights again.

Honeywood. Love me! Sure, Jarvis, you dream. No, no; her intimacy with me never amounted to more than friendship-mere friendship. That she is the most lovely woman that ever warm'd the human heart with desire, I own. But never let me harbour a. thought of making her unhappy, by a connection with one so unworthy her merits as I am. No, Jarvis, it shall be my study to serve her, even in spite of my wishes; and to secure her happiness, though it deftroys my own.

JARVIS,
Was ever the like! I want patience,

HONEYWOOD. Besides, Jarvis, though I could obtain Miss Richland's consent, do you think I could succeed with her guardian, or Mrs. Croaker his wife; who, tho'. both

very fine in their way, are yet a little opposite in their difpofitions you know.

JARVIS,

[ocr errors][ocr errors][merged small][merged small]
« 이전계속 »