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GARNET. Not a ftick, madam-all's here. Yet I with you could take the white and silver to be married in. It's the worst luck in the world, in any thing but white. I knew one Bett Stubbs, of our town, that was married in red; and, as, sure as eggs is
eggs, the bridegroom and he had a miff before morning.
OLIVIA. No matter. I'm all impatience till we are out of the house.
GARNET. Bless me, madam, I had almost forgot the wedding-ring !- The sweet little thing - I don't think it would go on my little finger. And what if I put in a gentleman's night-cap, in case of necessity, madam? But here's Jarvis.
JARVIS. Money, money, is the matter, madam. We have got no money. What the plague do you send me
of your fool's errand for? My master's bill upon the city is not worth a rush. Here it is; Mrs. Garnet may pin up her hair with it.
OLIVIA. Undone! How could Honeywood ferve us so! What shall we do? Can't we go without it?
JARVIS. Go to Scotland without money! To Scotland without money! Lord how some people understand geography! We might as well set sail for Patagonia upon a cork jacket.
OLIVIA. Such a disappointment! What a base infincere man was your master, to serve us in this manner ? Is this his good nature ?
Jarvis. Nay, don't talk ill of my master, madam. I won't bear to hear any body talk ill of him but myself.
GARNET. Bless us! now I think on't, madam, you need not be under any uneasiness: I saw Mr. Leontine receive forty guineas from his father just before he set out, and he can't yet have left the inn. A short letter will reach him there.
OLIVIA. Well remember'd, Garnet; I'll write immediately, How's this! Bless me, my hand trembles so, I can't write a word. Do you write, Garnet; and, upon second thought, it will be better from you.
Garner. Truly, madam, I write and indite but poorly. I never was kute at my larning. But I'll do what I can to please you. Let me see. All out of my own head, I suppose ?
OLIVIA. Whatever you please.
GARNET. (Writing.) Mufter Croaker-Twenty guineas, madam ?
OLIVIA. Aye, twenty will do.
Garnet. At the bar of the Talbot till call'd for. Expedition-Will be blown up-All of a flame-Quick dispatch-Cupid, the little god of love-I conclude it, madam, with Cupid; I love to see a love-letter end like poetry.
OLIVIA. Well, well, what you please, any thing. But how shall we send it? I can truft none of the feryants of this family.
GARNET. Odlo, madam, Mr. Honeywood's butler is in the next room: he's a dear, sweet man; he'll do any thing for me.
JARVIS. He! the dog, he'll certainly commit some blunder. He's drunk and sober ten times a day.
OLIVIA. No matter. Fly, Garnet: any body we can trust will do. (Exit Garnet.] Well, Jarvis, now we can have nothing more to interrupt us. You may take up the things, and carry them on to the inn. Have you no hands, Jarvis ?
Jarvis. Soft and fair, young lady. You, that are going to be married, think things can never be done too fast: but, we, that are old, and know what we are about, must elope methodically, madam.
OLIVIA. Well, sure, if my indiscretions were to be done over again
JARVIS. My life for it, you would do them ten times over.
OLIVIA. Why will you talk so? If you knew how unhappy they make me
Jarvis. Very unhappy, no doubt: I was once just as unhappy when I was going to be married myself. I'll tell you a story about that
OLIVIA. A story! when I'm all impatience to be away. Was there ever such a dilatory creature !
JARVIS. Well, madam, if we must march, why we will march; that's all. Though, odds bobs, we have
still forgot one thing we should never travel without a case of good razors, and a box of shavingpowder. But no matter, I believe we shall be pretty well shaved by the way.
GARNET. Undone, undone, madam. Ah, Mr. Jarvis, you said right enough. As sure as death Mr. Honeywood's rogue of a drunken butler, dropp'd the letter before he went ten yards from the door. There's old Croaker has just pick'd it up, and is this moment reading it to himself in the hall.
OLIVIA. Unfortunate! We shall be discovered.
GARNET. No, madam : don't be uneasy, he can make neither head nor tail of it. To be sure he looks as if he was broke loose from Bedlam about it, but he can't find what it means for all that. O lud, he is coming this way all in the horrors !
OLIVIA. Then let us leave the house this instant, for fear he should ask farther questions. In the mean time, Garnet, do you write and send off just such another,