JARVIS.

(Pulling out bills) A compliment, that's all. this from your mercer; ker in Crooked-lane.

few of our ufual cards of This bill from your taylor; and this from the little broHe fays he has been at a

great deal of trouble to get back the money you borrowed.

HONEYWOOD.

That I don't know; but I'm fure we were at a great deal of trouble in getting him to lend it.

JARVIS.

He has loft all patience.

HONEYWOOD.

Then he has loft a very good thing.

JARVIS.

There's that ten guineas you were fending to the poor gentleman and his children in the Fleet. I believe that would ftop his mouth, for a while at least.

HONEYWOOD.

Ay, Jarvis, but what will fill their mouths in the mean time? Muft I be cruel because he happens to be importunate; and, to relieve his avarice, leave them to infupportable diftrefs?

JARVIS.

'Sdeath! Sir, the question now is how to relieve yourself. Yourself-Hav'nt I reason to be out of my fenfes, when I fee things going at fixes and fevens?

HONEYWOOD.

Whatever reason you may have for being out of your fenfes, I hope you'll allow that I'm not quite unreasonable for continuing in mine.

JARVIS.

You're the only man alive in your present situation that could do fo-Every thing upon the waste. There's Mifs Richland and her fine fortune gone already, and upon the point of being given to your rival.

HONEYWOOD.

I'm no man's rival.

JARVIS.

Your uncle in Italy preparing to difinherit you; your own fortune almoft fpent; and nothing but preffing creditors, falfe friends, and a pack of drunken fervants that your kindness has made unfit for any other family.

HONEYWOOD.

Then they have the more occafion for being in mine.

JARVIS.

Soh! What will you have done with him that I caught stealing your plate in the pantry? In the fact; I caught him in the fact.

HONEYWOOD.

In the fact? If fo, I really think that we fhould him his wages, and turn him off.

pay

JARVIS.

:

JARVIS.

He fhall be turn'd off at Tyburn, the dog; we'll hang him, if it be only to frighten the reft of the family.

HONEYWOOD.

No, Jarvis: it's enough that we have loft what he has stolen, let us not add to it the lofs of a fellow creature!

JARVIS.

Very fine; well, here was the footman just now, to complain of the butler; he fays he does most work, and ought to have moft wages.

HONEYWOOD.

That's but juft; though perhaps here comes the butler to complain of the footman.

JARVIS.

Ay, its the way with them all, from the fcullion to the privy-counsellor. If they have a bad mafter, they keep quarrelling with him: if they have a good mafter, they keep quarrelling with one another.

Enter BUTLER, drunk.

BUTLER.

Sir, I'll not ftay in the family with Jonathan muft part with him, or part with me, that's the ex-ex-expofition of the matter, Sir.

you

HONEYWOOD.

Full and explicit enough. But what's his fault,

good Philip?

BUTLER.

BUTLER.

Sir, he's given to drinking, Sir, and I fhall have my morals corrupted, by keeping fuch company. HONEYWOOD.

Ha! ha! He has fuch a diverting way—

O quite amufing.

JARVIS.

BUTLER.

I find my wines a-going, Sir; and liquors don't go without mouths, Sir; I hate a drunkard, Sir. HONEYWOOD,

Well, well, Philip, I'll hear you upon that another time, fo go to bed now.

JARVIS.

To bed! Let him go the devil.

BUTLER.

Begging your honour's pardon, and begging your pardon, mafter Jarvis, I'll not go to bed, nor to the devil neither. I have enough to do to mind my cellar. I forgot, your honour, Mr. Croaker is below. I came on purpose to tell you.

HONEYWOOD.

Why didn't you fhew him up, blockhead?

BUTLER.

Shew him up, Sir! With all my heart, Sir. Up or down, all's one to me.

JARVIS.

Exit.

Ay, we have one or other of that family in this houfe from morning till night. He comes on the

old

old affair, I fuppofe. The match between his fon, that's juft returned from Paris, and Mifs Richland, the young lady he's guardian to.

HONEYWOOD.

Perhaps fo. Mr. Croaker, knowing my friendfhip for the young lady, has got it into his head that I can perfwade her to what I please.

JARVIS.

Ah! if you loved yourself but half as well as she loves you, we should foon fee a marriage that would fet all things to rights again.

HONEYWOOD.

Love me! Sure, Jarvis, you dream. No, no; her intimacy with me never amounted to more than friendship-mere friendship. That she is the most lovely woman that ever warm'd the human heart with defire, I own. But never let me harbour a thought of making her unhappy, by a connection with one fo unworthy her merits as I am. No, Jarvis, it fhall be my ftudy to ferve her, even in spite of my wishes; and to fecure her happiness, though it deftroys my own.

JARVIS,

Was ever the like! I want patience.

HONEYWOOD.

Befides, Jarvis, though I could obtain Mifs Richland's confent, do you think I could fucceed with her guardian, or Mrs. Croaker his wife; who, tho' both very fine in their way, are yet a little oppofite in their difpofitions you know.

JARVIS.