ACT THE THIRD.

SCENE I.

Young HONEYWOOD's House.

BAILIFF, HONEYWOOD, and FLANIGAN.

Bailiff. Lookye, sir, I have arrested as good men as you in my time: no disparagement of you neither. Men that would go forty guineas on a game of cribbage. I challenge the town to show a man in more genteeler practice than myself.

Mr. H. Without all question, Mr.

your name, sir?

I forget

Bailiff. How can you forget what you never knew? He! he! he!

Mr. H. May I beg leave to ask
Bailiff. Yes, you may.

your name?

Mr. H. Then, pray, sir, what is your name, sir? Builiff. That I didn't promise to tell you. He! he! he! A joke breaks no bones, as we say among us that practise the law.

Mr. H. You may have reason for keeping it a secret, perhaps.

Bailiff. The law does nothing without reason. I'm ashamed to tell my name to no man, sir. If you can show cause, as why, upon a special capus, that I should prove my name -But, come, Timothy Twitch is my name. And, now you know my name, what have you to say to that?

Mr. H. Nothing in the world, good Mr. Twitch, but that I have a favour to ask, that's all.

Bailiff. Ay, favours are more easily asked than granted, as we say among us that practise the law. I have taken an oath against granting favours. Would you have me perjure myself?

Mr. H. But my request will come recommended in so strong a manner, as, I believe, you'll have no scruple. [Pulling out his Purse.] The thing is only this: I believe I shall be able to discharge this trifle in two or three days at farthest; but, as I would not have the affair known for the world, I have thoughts of keeping you, and your good friend here, about me till the debt is discharged; for which, I shall be properly grateful.

Bailiff. Oh! that's another maxum, and altogether within my oath. For certain, if an honest man is to get any thing by a thing, there's no reason why all things should not be done in civility.

Mr. H. Doubtless,' all trades must live, Mr. Twitch; and yours is a necessary one.

[Gives him Money. Bailiff. Oh! your honour; I hope your honour takes nothing amiss as I does, as I does nothing but my duty in so doing. I'm sure no man can say 1 ever give a gentleman that was a gentleman ill usage. If I saw that a gentleman was a gentleman, I have taken money not to see him for ten weeks together.

Mr. H. Tenderness is a virtue, Mr. Twitch.

Bailiff. Ay, sir, it's a perfect treasure. I love to sec a gentleman with a tender heart. I don't know, but I think I have a tender heart myself. If all that I have lost by my heart was put together, it would make a-but no matter for that.

Mr. H. Don't account it lost, Mr. Twitch. The ingratitude of the world can never deprive us of the conscious happiness of having acted with bumanity ourselves.

Bailiff. Humanity, sir, is a jewel. It's better than gold. I love humanity. People may say, that we,

in our way, have no humanity; but I'll show you my humanity this moment. There's my follower here, little Flanigan, with a wife and four children, a guinea or two would be more to him, than twice as much to another. Now, as I can't show him any humanity myself, I must beg leave you'll do it for

me.

Mr. H. I assure you, Mr. Twitch, yours is a most powerful recommendation.

[Giving Money to the Follower. Bailiff. Sir, you're a gentleman. I see, you know what to do with your money. But, to business: we are to be with you here as your friends, I suppose, But set in case company comes.-Little Flanigan here, to be sure, has a good face-a very good face: but, then, he is a little seedy, as we say among us that practise the law. Not well in clothes.--Smoke the pocket holes.

lay.

Mr. H. Well, that shall be remedied without de

Enter SERVANT,

Serv. Sir, Miss Richland is below.

Mr. H. How unlucky!-Detain her a moment, We must improve, my good friend, little Mr. Flanigan's appearance first. Here, let Mr. Flanigan have a suit of my clothes-quick-the brown and silverDo you hear?

Serv. That your honour gave away to the begging gentleman, that makes verses, because it was as good

as new.

Mr. H. The white and gold then.

Serv. That, your honour, I made bold to sell, because it was good for nothing.

Mr. H. Well, the first that comes to hand then. The blue and gold. I believe Mr. Flanigan will look best in blue. [Exit FLANIGAN. Bailiff. Rabbit me, but little Flanigan will look

well in any thing. Ah, if your honour knew that bit of flesh as well as I do, you'd be perfectly in love with him. There's not a prettier scout in the four counties after a shycock than he. Scents like a hound; sticks like a weasel. He was master of the ceremonies to the black queen of Morocco when I took him to follow me.

Enter FLANIGAN.

Heh! ecod, I think he looks so well, that I don't care if I have a suit from the same place for myself.

Mr. H. Well, well, I hear the lady coming. Dear Mr. Twitch, I beg you'll give your friend directions not to speak. As for yourself, I know you will say nothing without being directed.

Bailiff. Never you fear me; I'll show the lady that I have something to say for myself as well as another. One man has one way of talking, and another man has another, that's all the difference between them.

Enter Miss RICHLAND and GARNET.

Miss R. You'll be surprised, sir, with this visit. But you know I'm yet to thank you for chusing my little library.

Mr. H. Thanks, madam, are unnecessary, as it was I that was obliged by your commands. Chairs here. Two of my very good friends, Mr. Twitch and Mr. Flanigan. Pray, gentlemen, sit without ceremony. Miss R. Who can these odd looking men be! I fear it is as I was informed. It must be so. [Aside. Bailiff. [After a Pause.] Pretty weather, very pretty weather, for the time of the year, madam.

Flan. Very good circuit weather in the country. Mr. H. You officers are generally favourites among the ladies. My friends, madam, have been upon very disagreeable duty, I assure you. The fair

should, in some measure, recompense the toil of the brave.

Miss R. Our officers do indeed deserve every favour. The gentlemen are in the marine service, I presume, sir?

Mr. H. Why, madam, they do-occasionally serve in the Fleet, madam. A dangerous service.

Miss R. I'm told so. And I own, it has often surprised me, that, while we have so many instances of bravery there, we have had so few of wit at home to praise it.

Mr H. I grant, madam, that our poets have not written as our soldiers have fought; but, they have done all they could, and Hawke or Amherst could do

no more.

Miss R. I'm quite displeased when I see a fine subject spoiled by a dull writer.

Mr. H. We should not be so severe against dull writers, madam. It is ten to one, but the dullest writer exceeds the most rigid French critic who presumes to despise him.

Flan. Damn the French, the parle vous, and all that belongs to them.

Miss R. Sir!

Mr. H. Ha! ha! ha! honest Mr. Flanigan. A true English officer, madam; he's not contented with beating the French, but he will scold them too.

Miss R. Yet, Mr. Honeywood, this does not convince me but that severity in criticisms is necessary. It was our first adopting the severity of French taste, that has brought them in turn to taste us.

Bailiff. Taste us! By the lord, madam, they devour us. Give Monseers but a taste, and I'll be damned but they come in for a bellyfull.

Miss R. Very extraordinary this.

Flan. But very true. What makes the bread rising the parle vous that devour us. What makes the mutton a shilling a pound? the parle vous that