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Theod. For shame, Farmer! down on your knees, and beg Miss Fairfield's pardon, for the outrage you have been guilty of.
Giles. Beg pardon, miss, for what?“ Icod, that's well enough: why, I am my own master, ben't 1?If I have no mind to marry, there's no harm in that, I hope— tis only changing hands. This morning she would not have me, and now I won't have she.
Patty. Have you!-Heav'ns and earth! do you think, then, 'tis the missing of you, that gives me corcern ?- No; I would prefer a state of beggary a thousand times beyond any thing I could enjoy with you: and be assured, if ever I was seemingly consenting to such a sacrifice, nothing should have compelled me to it, but the cruelty of my situation.
Giles. Oh, as for that, I believes you; but, you see, the gudgeon will not bite, as I told you a bit agone, you know: we farmers never love to reap what we don't sow. Patty. You brutish fellow ! how dare
talk Giles. So, now she's in her tantrums again, and all for no manner of yearthly thing.
Patty. But, be assured, my lord will punish you severely, for daring to make free with his name.
Giles. Who made free with it? did I ever mention my lord ? 'Tis a cursed lie !
Theod. Bless me! Farmer !
Giles. Why, it is, miss, and I'll make her prove her words—Then what does she mean by being punished? I am not afraid of nobody, nor beholden to nobody, that I know of; while I pays my rent, my money, I believe, is as good as another's: egad, if it goes there, I think there be those deserve to be punished more than I.
Patty. Was ever unfortunate creature pursued as I am, by distresses and vexations!
Theod. My dear Patty-See, Farmer, you have thrown her into tears—Pray be comforted. Giles. Let her get out of 'em then. [Erit.
Enter MERVIN. Theod. You are a pretty gentleman, are not you, to suffer a lady to be at rendezvous before you?
Mervin. Difficulties, my dear, and dangersNone of the company had two suits of apparel ; so I was obliged to purchase a rag of one, and a tatter from another, at the expense of ten times the sum they would fetch at the paper
mill. Theod. Well, where are they?
Mervin. Here, in this bundle--and though I say it, a very decent habiliment, if you have art enough to stick the parts together :- I've been watching till the coast was clear, to bring them to you.
Theod. Let me see -I'll slip into this closet, and equip myself-All here is in such confusion, there will no notice be taken.
Mervin. Do so; I'll take care nobody shall interrupt you in the progress of your metamorphosis.[She goes in.] --and if you are not tedious, we may walk off without being seen by any one.
Theod. [Within.] Ha! ha! ha!What a concourse of atoms are here ? though, as I live, they are a great deal better than I expected.
Mervin. Well, pray make haste, and don't imagine yourself at your toilette now, where mode prescribes two hours, for what reason would scarce allow three minutes,
Theod. [Within.] Have patience; the outward garment is on already; and I'll assure you a very good stuff, only a little the worse for the mending.
Mervin. Imagine it embroidery, and consider it your wedding suit.-Come, how far are you got?
Theod. [Within.] Stay, you don't consider, there's some contrivance necessary.—Here goes the apron, flounced and furbelowed, with a witness !--Alas, alas, it has no strings ! what shall I do? Come, no matter, a couple of pins will serve And now the cap-oh, mercy! here's a hole in the crown of it, large enough to thrust my head through
Mervin. That you'll hide with your straw hat; or, if you should not-_What, not ready yet?
Theod. Only one minute more -Yes, now the work's accomplished.
[Enters from the Closet,
Who'll buy good luck, who'll, who'll buy
Through the village, through the town,
What charming sav'ry scraps we'll earn!
And our withdrawing room, a barn.
all. Mervin. Plague, here's somebody coming!
Enter FAIRFIELD and GILES. Fair. As to the past, Farmer, 'tis past; I bear no malice for any thing thou hast said.
Giles. Why, Master Fairfield, you do know I had a great regard for Miss Patty ; but when I came to consider all in all, I finds as how, it is not advisable to change my condition yet awhile,
Fair. Friend Giles, thou art in the right; marriage is a serious point, and can't be considered too warily.
Ha! who have we here?-Shall I never keep my house clear of these vermin?-Look to the goods there, and give me a horsewhip-by the lord Harry, I'll make an example!-Come here, Lady Lightfingers, let me see what thou hast stolen!
Mervin. Hold, Miller, hold !
Fair. O gracious goodness ! sure, I know this face -Miss-young Madam Sycamore-Mercy heart, here's a disguise !
Theod. Discovered !
Giles. Ill fortune -Miss ! I think there be nothing but crosses and misfortunes, of one kind or other.
Fair. Money to me, sir!_not for the world! you want no friends but what
you have already— Lack-aday, lack-a-day, see, how luckily I camein! I believe you are the gentleman, to whom I am charged to give this, on the part of my Lord Aimworth---Bless you, dear sir, go up to his honour, with my young ladyThere is a chaise waiting at the door, to carry youI and my daughter will take another way. (Exit.
Mervin. Pr’ythee read this letter, and tell me what you think of it.
Theod. Heavens, 'tis a letter from Lord Aimworth! we are betrayed.
Mervin. By what nieans I know not.
Theod. I am so frighted and flurried, that I have scarce strength enough to read it.
Mervin. Well, what do you think of it :-Shall we go to the castle ?
Theod. By all means—and in this very trim ; to show what we were capable of doing, if my
father and mother had not come to reason.-But, perhaps, the difficulties being removed, may lessen your penchant: you men are such unaccountable mortals !--Do you love me well enough to marry me, without making a frolic of it?
Mervin. Do I love you?
Who, upon the oozy beach,
Can count the num'rous sands that lie ?
Transpurent orb that studs the sky
As their multitude betray,
And frustrate all attempts to tell :
How much I love, I love so uell.
Theod. But hark you, Mervin, will you take after my father, and be a very husband now?-Or don't you think I shall take after my mother, and be a commanding wife?
Mervin. Oh, I'll trust you.
[Exeunt. Enter GILES. Giles. Master Fairfield and Miss Patty, it seems, are gone to the castle too; where, by what I larns from Ralph in the mill, my lord has promised to get her a husband among the servants. Now, set in case the wind sets in that corner, I have been thinking with myself who the plague it can be : there are no unmarried men in the family, that I do know of, excepting little Bob, the postillion, and Master Jonathan, the butler ; and he's a matter of sixty, or seventy years old. I'll be shot if it beant little Bob!—Icod, I'll take the way to the castle, as well as the rest; for I'd fain see how the nail do drive. It is well I had wit enough to discern things, and a friend to adviso