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• Occurrences. I know a Man of Quality of our Order, ' who is of the wrong Side of Forty-three, and has been • of that Age, according to Tully's Jeft, for some Years ** fince, whose Vein is upon the Romantick. Give him • the least Occasion, and he will tell you something so ve'ry particular that happened in such a Year, and in such
Company, where by the By was present such a one, who
was afterwards made such a thing. Out of all these Cir'cumstances, in the best Language in the World, he will
join together with such probable Incidents an Account. • that shews a Person of the deepest Penetration, the ho. nefteft Mind, and withal something so humble when he ' speaks of himself
, that you would admire. Dear Sir, why should this be Lying! There is nothing so instructive. He has withal the gravest Aspect; something so very venerable and great! Another of these Historiansis a Young Man whom we would take in, tho"he extreamly wants Parts; as People send Children (before they can learn any thing) to School to keep them out of Harm's
way. He tells Things which have nothing at all in them, * and can neither please nor displease; bur meerly take up
your Time to no manner of Purpose, no manner of Dea
light; but he is Good-natured, and does it because he • loves to be saying fomething to you, and entertain you..
. I could name you a Soldier that hath done very great
things without Slaughter; he is prodigiously dull arrd • Now of Head, but what he can say is for ever false, fo • that we nust have hin,
“GIVE me leave to tell you of one more who is a Lover, he is the most afflicted Creature in the World, • left what happened between him and a Great Beauty • should ever be known. Yet again he comforts himself,
Hang thefade her Woman. If Mony can keep the Slut truffy “ I will do it tho'l mortgage every Acre ; Anthony and Cleo. • patra for that; All for Love, and the World well loft
"THEN, Sir, there is my little Merchant, honest In. • digo of the Change, there's my Man for kofs and Gain; • there's Tare and Tret, there's lying all round the Globe'; She has such a prodigious Intelligence he knows all the « French are doing, and what we intend or ought to in
tend, and has it from such Hands. But alas whither am . I running! While I complain, while I remonstrate to
« you, even all this is a Lie, and there is not one such Pera • son of Quality, Lover, Soldier, or Merchant as I have
now described in the whole world, that I know of. But * I will catch my self once in my Life, and in spite of Na,
ture (peak one Truth, to wit that I am T
Your humble Servant, &c.
Tuesday, August 7.
At hæc etiam servis semper libera fuerunt, timerent, gauderent, dolerent suo potius quam alterius arbitrio..
T is no small Concern to me, that I find so many Complaints from that Part of Mankind whose Portion
it is to live in Servitude, that those whom they depend upón will not allow them to be even as happy as their Condition will admit of. There are, as these unhappy Correspondents inform ine, Masters who areoffended at a chearful Countenance, and think a Servant is broke loose from them, if he does not preserve the utmostAwe in their Presence. There is one who says, if he looks satisfied, his Master asks him what makes him so pert this Morning; ifa little fower, Hark ye, Sirrah, are not you paid your Wages? The poor
Creatures live in the most extreme Mifery together : The Master knows not how to preserve Respect, nor the Servant how to give it. It seems this Person is of so sullen a Nature, that he knows but little Satisfa&tion in the midst of a plentiful Fortune, and secretly frets to see any Appearance of Content, in one that lives upon the hundredth Part of his Income, who is unhappy in the Poffeffion of the Whole. Uneasie Persons, who cannot possess their own Minds, vent their Spleen upon all who depend upon them; which, I think, is expressed in a lively manner in the following Letters.
S :I R,
August 2, 1711. Have read your Spectator of the third of the last
• Month, and wish I had the Happiness of being * preferred to serve so good a Master as Sir ROGER.. 6. The Character of my Master is the very Reverse of that
good and gentle Knight's. All his Directions are given, ..and his Mind revealed by way of Contraries: As when
any thing is to be remembred, with a peculiar Cast of • Face he cries, Be sure to forget now. If I am to make
hafte back, Don't come these two Hours ; be sure to call * by the way upon some of your Companions. Then an• other excellent Way of his is, if he sets me any thing
to do, which he knows must neceffarily take up half a
Day, he calls ten Times in a Quarter of an Hour to 6. know whether I have done yet. This is his Manner ; < and the fame Perverseness runs through all his Actions,
according as the Circumstances vary. Besides all this, ' he is so fufpicious, that he submits himself to the
Drudgery of a Spy. He is as unhappy himself as he raakes his Servants: Hey is constantly watching us, and we
differ no more in Pleasure and Liberty than as a Goaler • and a Prisoner. He 'lays Traps for Faults, and no • sooner makes a Discovery, but falls into such Lan.
guage, as I am more ashamed of for coming from him, * than for being directed to me. This, Sir, is a fhort «Sketch of a Mafter I have served upwards of nine ". Years; and tho" I have never wronged him, I confess
my Despair of pleasing him has very much abated my « Endeavour to do it. If you will give me Leave to • steal a Sentence out of my Mafter's Clarendon, I shall • tell you my Cafe in a Word, Being used worse than 1: 9. deserved, i cared less to deserve well than I had done. I am, SIR, Tour Humble Servant,
RALPH VATE T. Dear Mr. SPECTER, I Am the next Thing to a Lady's Woman, and am
under both my Lady and her Woman. I am so • used by them both, that I should be very glad to see them in the SPECIER. My Lady her self is of no
• Mind in the World, and for that Reason her Woman is of
twenty Minds in a Moment. My Lady is one that never knows what to do with her self; she pullsion • and puts off every Thing she wears twenty Times be• fore she resolves upon it for that Day. I fand at one • End of the Room, and reach Things to her Woman. • When my Lady asks for a Thing, I hear and have half
brought it, when the Woman meets me in the middle • of the Room to receive it, and at that Instant she says « No she will not have it. Then I go back, and her
Woman comes up to her, and by this Time she will • have that, and two or three Things more in an In• ftant: The Woman, and I run to each other; I am • loaded and delivering the Things to her, when my.
Lady says she wants none of ail these Things, and
we are the dullest Creatures in the World, and The the • unhappiest Woman living, for she shan't be dressid • in any Time. Thus we stand not knowing what to do, • when our good Lady with all the Patience in the • World tells us as plain as fhe can speak, that she will • have Temper because we have no manner of Under• standing; and begins again to dress, and see if we
can find out of our felves what we are to do. When • she is Dressed she goes to Dinner, and after she has • disliked every thing there, she calls for the Coach, then • commands it in again, and then she will not go out
at all, and then will go too, and orders the Chariot, • Now good Mrz-SPECTER, I desire you would in « the Behalf of all who serve froward Ladies, give out * in your Paper, that nothing can be done without ala lowing Time for it, and that one cannot be back
again with what one was sent for, if one is called back « before one can go a Step for that they want.. And . if you please let them know that all Mistresses are as. like as all Seryants.
I am your loving Friend,
THESE are great Calamities; but I met the other Day in the five Fields towards Chelsea, a pleasanter Tỳcant than either of the above represented. A far:Fellow
was puffing on in his open Waltecoat; a Boy of four- teen in a Livery, carrying after him his Cloak, upper Coat, Hat, Wig, and Sword. The poor Lad was ready to sink with the Weight, and could not keep up with his Master, who turned back every half Furlong, and wondered what made the lazy young Dog lag behind.
THERE is something very unaccountable, that People cannot put themselves in the Condition of the Persons below them, when they consider the Commands they give. But there is nothing more common, than to fee a Fellow (who if he were reduced to it, would not be hired by any Man living) lament that he is troubled with the most worthless Dogs in Nature.
IT would, perhaps, be running too far out of common Life, to urge, that he who is not Master of himself and his own Pallions, cannot be a proper Mafter of another. Æquanimity in a Man's own Words and Actions, will easily diffuse it self through his whole Family. Pamphilio has the happiest Houshold of any Man I know, and that proceeds from the human Regard he has to them in their private Persons, as well as in Respect that they are bis Servants. If there be any Occafion, wherein they may in themselves be supposed to be unfit to attend their Master's Concerns, by reason of an Attention to their own, he is so good as to place himself in their Condition. I thought it very becoming in him, when at Dinner the other Day he made an Apology for want of more Attendants. He said, One of my Footmen is gone to the Wed. ding of his sister, and the other I don't expect to wait, becaufo his Father died but two Days ago.