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• General, he was the Occasion that the Muscovites kept « their Fire in fo Soldier-like a manner, and brought up < those Troops which were covered from the Enemy ac. ( the beginning of the Day; besides this, he had at last the
good Fortune to be the Man who took Count Piper. . With all this Fire I knew my cousin to be the civileit • Creature in the World. He never made any impertinent • Show of his Valour, and then he had an excellent Genis us for the World in every other'kind. I had Letters < from him (here I felt in my Pockets) that exactly spoke
the Czar's Character, which I knew perfectly well; and 6. I could not forbear concluding, that I lay with his ImSperial Majesty twice or thrice a Week all the while he .. lodged at Debtford. What is worse than all this, it is im
& possible to speak to me, but you give me some occasion • of coming out with one Lie or other, that has neither 6 Wit, Humour, prospect of Interest, or any other Mo. (tive that I can think of in Nature. The other Day, when
one was commending an Eminent and Learned Divine, what occasion in the World had I to say, Methinks he would look more Venerable if he were not so fair a Man? • I remember the Company smiled. I have seen the Genctleman since, and he is Cole Black. I have Intimations • every Day in my Life that no Body believes me, yet I am. c. never the better. I was saying something the other Day Ito an old Friend at Will's Coffee-houle, and he made me « no manner of Answer; but told me, that an Acquain. . citance of Tully the Orator having two or three times c. together said to him, without receiving any. Answer, «. That upon his Honour he was but that very Month forty • Years of Age; Tully answer'd, Surely you think me the Ls most incredulous Man in the World, if I don't believe • what you have told me every Day this ten Years. The O Mischief of it is, I find my self wonderfully inclin'd to s have been present at every Occurrence that is spoken of
before me; this has led me into many Inconveniencies,
but indeed they have been the fewer, because I am no « ill-natur'd Man, and never speak Things to any Man's · Disadvantage. I never directly defame, but I do what
is as bad in the Consequence, for I have often made a « Man say such and such a lively Expression, who was « born a mere elder Brother, When one has said in my Is
. Hearing, Such a one is no wiser than he should be, lim. · 'mediately have reply'd, Now 'faith I can't see that, he
• said a very good thing to my Lord such a one, upon such • an Occasion, and the like. Such an honest Dolt as this • has been watch'd in every Exprefsion he uttered, upon • my Recommendation of him, and confequently been • subject to the more Ridicule. I once endeavoured to * cure my self of this impertinent Quality, and resolved to • hold my Tongue for seven Days together ; I did fo, bat • then I had so many Winks and unneceffary Distortions • of my Face upon what any Body else laid, that I found • I only forbore the Expression, and that I ftill lied in my • Heart to every Man I met with. You are to know one • Thing(which I believe you'll say is a Pityconfidering the - Use I should have made of it). Í never Travelled in my · Life; but I do not know whether I could have spoken • ofany Foreign country with more Familiarity than I do
at present, in Company who are Strangers to me. I have cursed the Inns in Germany; commended the Brothels
at Venice; the Freedom of Conversation in France; and • tho' I never was out of this dear Town, and fifty Miles • about it, have been three Nights together dogged by Bra. >« voes for an Intrigue with a Cardinal's Mistress at Rome.
IT were endless to give you Particulars of this kind, ** but I can assure you, Mr. SPECTATOR, there are about · • Twenty or Thirty of us in this Town, I'mean by this .« Town the Cities of London and Westminster; I say there • are in Town a sufficient Nuniber of us to make a Society • among our selves; and since we cannot be believed any • longer, I beg of you to print this my Letter, that we
may meer together, and be under such Regulation as « there may be no Occasion for Belief or Confidence « among us. If you think fit we might be called The Hists. • rians, for Liar is become a very harin Word. And that a « Member ofthe Society may not hereafter be ill received " by the rest of the World, I desire you would explain a lit• tle this sort of Men, and not let us Historians be ranked as "we are in the Imaginations of ordinary People, among • common Liars, Make-bates, Impostors and Incendia• ries. For your Instruction herein, you are to know that • an Historian, in Conversation is only a Person of so prege nant a Fancy, that he cannot be contented with ordinary
• Occurrences. I know a Man of Quality of our Order, ' who is of the wrong Side of Forty-three, and has been
of that Age, according to Tully's Jeft, for some Years- fince, whose Vein is upon the Romantick. Give him • the least Occasion, and he willtell you something so ve‘ry particular that happened in such a Year, and in such • Company, where by the By was present such a one, who I was afterwards made such a thing. Out of all these Cir' cumstances, in the best Language in the World, he will • join together with such probable Incidents an Account.
that shews a Person of the deepest Penetration, the ho. • nefteft Mind, and withal something so humble when he r speaks of himself, that you would admire. Dear Sir, • why should this be Lying! There is nothing so instruc
tive. He has withal the gravest Aspect ; something so ve• ry venerable and great! Another of these Historians.is • a Young Man whom we would take in, tho‘he extream« ly wants Parts; as People send Children (before they can • learn any thing) to School to keep them out of Harm's < way. He tells Things which have nothing at all in them, ' and can neither please nor displease, but meerly take up • your Time to no manner of Purpose, no manner of Dea « light; but he is Good-natured, and does it because he « loves to be saying something to you, and entertain you.
"I could name you a Soldier that hath done very great « things without Slaughter; he is prodigiously dul arrd « Now of Head, but what he can say is for ever falle, lo • that we must have hin..
"GIVE me leave to tell you of one more who is a • Lover, he is the most afflicted Creature in the World, I left what happened between hiin and a Great Beauty • should ever be known. Yet again he comforts himself, • Hang thefade her Woman. If Mony can keep the Slut trusty « I will do it, tho'l mortgage every Acre ; Anthony and Cleo • patra for that; All for Love, and the World well loft
THEN, Sir, there is my little Merchant, honest in. .. digo of the Change, there's my Man for kofs and Gain'; • there's Tare and Tret, there's lying all round the Globe';
he has such a prodigious Intelligence he knows all the . a French are doing, and what we intend or ought to in. • tend, and has it from such Hands. But alas whither am * I running! While I complain, while I remonstrate to
« you, even all this is a Lie, and there is not one such Pere • son of Quality, Lover, Soldier, or Merchant as I have • now described in the whole world, that I know of. But • I will catch my self once in my Life, and in spite of Na. • ture speak one Truth, to wit that I am ,
Your humble Servant, &e!
Tuesday, August 7.
At hac etiam servis semper libera fuerunt, timerent, gauderent, dolerent fuo potius quam alterius arbitrio..
IT is no small Concern to me; that I find so many | Complaints from that Part of Mankind whose Portion
it is to live in Servitude, that those whom they depend upon will not allow them to be even as happy as their Condition will admit of. There are, as these unhappy Correspondents inform une, Masters who areoffended at a ehearful Countenance, and think a Seryant is broke loose from them, if he does not preserve the utmost Awe in their Presence. There is one who says, if he looks satisfied, his Mafter asks him what makes him so pert this Morning; ifa little fower, Hark ye, Sirrah, are not you paid your Wages? The poor Creatures live in the most extreme Mifery together : The Master knows not how to preserve Respect, nor the Servant how to give it. It seems this Person is of so sullen a Nature, that he knows but little Satisfaction in the midst of a plentiful Fortune, and secretly frets to see any Appearance of Content, in one that lives upon the hundredth Part of his Incoine, who is unhappy in the Poffeffion of the Whole. Uneafie Persons, who cannot possess their own Minds, vent their Spleen upon all who depend upon them ; which, I think, is expressed in a lively manner in the following Letters,
August 2, 1711. S T Have read your Spectator of the third of the last
To Month, and wish I had the Happiness of being 6. preferred to serve so good a Master as Sir ROGER. 6. The Character of my Master is the very Reverse of that • good and gentle Knight's. All his Directions are given, 6.and his Mind revealed by way of Contraries: As when
any thing is to be remembred, with a peculiar Cast of • Face he cries, Be sure to forget now. If I am to make ‘.hafte back, Don't come these two Hours; be sure to call " by the way upon some of your Companions. Then an' other excellent Way of his is, if he sets me any thing 6. to do, which he knows must necessarily take up half a
Day, he calls ten Times in a Quarter of an Hour to 6. know whether I have done yet. This is his Manner; " and the same Perverseness runs through all his Actions, ..according as the Circumstances vary. Besides all this.
he is so suspicious, that he submits himself to the • Drudgery of a Spy. He is as unhappy himself as he raakes 6. his Servants: Hey is constantly watching us, and we • differ no more in Pleasure and Liberty than as a Goaler
and a Prisoner. He lays Traps for Faults, and no • sooner makes a Discovery, but falls into such Lan.
guage, as I am more ashamed of for coming from him, « Than for being directed to me. This, Sir, is a short « Sketch of a Mafter I have served upwards of nine «. Years; and tho' I have never wronged him, I confess ".my Despair of pleasing him has very much abated my • Endeavour to do it. If you will give me Leave to & steal a Sentence out of my Master's Clarendon, I shall • tell you my Case in a Word, Being used worse than I: g. deferved, I cared lefs to deferve well than I had done.
I am, SIR, Your Humble Servant,
RALPH VATE T. Dear Mr. SPECTER, C. I Am the next Thing to a Lady's Woman, and am
drunder both my Lady and her Woman. I am so • used by them both, that I should be very glad to see them in the SPECIER. My Lady her self is of no