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your loud Speakers: These treat Mankind as if we were alldeaf; they do not express but declare themselves, Mapy of these are guilty of this Outrage out of Vanity, be. cause they think all they say is well; or that they have their own Persons in such Veneration, that they believe nothing which concerns them can be insignificant to any Body else. For these Peoples fake, I have often lamented that we cannot close our Ears with as much Ease as we can our Eyes: It is very uneasie that we must necessarily be under Persecution. Next to these Bawlers, is a troublesome Creature who comes with the Air of your Friend and your Intimate, and that is your Whisperer. There is one of them at a Coffee-house which I my self frequent, who observing me to be a Man pretty well made for Secrets, gers by me, and with a Whisper tells me things which ali the Town knows. It is no very hard Matter to guess ar the Source of this Impertinence, which is nothing else but a Method or Mechanick Art of being wile. You ne. ver see any frequent in it, whom you can suppose to have any thing in the World to do. These Persons are worse shan Bawlers, as much as a secret Enemy is more dangerous than a declared one. I wish this my Coffee-bouse Friend would take this for an Intimation, that I have not beard one Word he has told me for these several years; whereas he now thinks me the most trusty Repository of his Secrets. The Whisperers have a pleasant Way of ending the close Conversation, with faying aloud, Do not you think fo? Then whisper again, and then aloud, but You know ihat Perfon; Then whisper again. The thing would be well enough, if they whispered to keep the Folly of what they say among Friends, but alas, they do it to preserve the Importance of their Thoughts. I am sure I could name you more than one Person whom no Man living ever heard talk upon any Subject in Nature, or ea ver saw in his whole Life with a Book in his Hand, that I know not how can whisper something like Knowledge of what has and does pass in the World, which you would think he learned from fome familiar Spirit that did not think him worthy to receive the whole Ştory. But in truth Whisperers deal only in half Accounts of what they entertain you with. A great Help to their Discourse is,
Thas the Town,says, and people begin to talk very free.
ly, and they had it from Persons too considerable to be « named, what they will tell you when things are riper. My Friend has winked upon me any Day since I came to Town last, and has communicated to me as a Secret, that he designed in a very short Time to tell me a Secret; buc I shall know what he means, he now affures me, in less than a Fortnight's Time. .
BUT I must not omit the dearer Part of Mankind, I mean the Ladies, to take up a whole Paper upon Grievances which concern the Men only; but Naall humbly propose, that we change Fools for an Experiment only. A certain Set of Ladies complain they are frequently perplex. ed wieh a Visitant, who affects to be wifer than they are ; which Character he hopes to preserve by an obftinate Gravity, and great Guard against discovering his Opinion upon any Occasion whatever. A painful Silence has hitherto gained him no further Advantage, than that as he might, if he had behaved himself with Freedom, been excepted against, but as to this and that Particular, he now offends in the whole. To relieve thefe Ladies, my good Friends and Correspondents, I shall exchange my dancing Outlaw for their dumb Vifitant, and affign the filent Gentleman all the Haunts of the Dancer: In order to which, I have sent thein by the Penny Post the following Letters for their Conduct in their new Conversations.
SI R, " Have, you may be sure, heard of your Irregularities
1 without regard to my Observations upon you ;; but • fhall pot treat you with so much Rigour as you deserve. * If you will give your self the Trouble to repair to the • Place mentioned in the Poftfcript to this Letter at Seven
this Evening, you will be conducted into a spacious • Room well lighted, where there are Ladies and • Musick. You will see a young Lady laughing next the « Window to the Street; you may take her out, for she
e loves you as well as she does any Man, tho' she never · « saw you before. She never thought in her Life, any
.. more than your felfShe will not be surprized when 1 + you aecoft her, nor concerned when you leave her. « Haften from a place where you are laughed at, to one where you will be admired, You are of no Conse
• quence, therefore go where you will be welcome for • being lo.
Your most humble Servant.
THE Ladies whom you visit, think a wise Man the • 1 most impertinent Creature living, therefore you • cannot be offended that they are displeased with you. • Why will you take Pains to appear wise, where you
would not be the more esteemed for being really so? • Come to us; forget the Gigglers; and let your Inclina. • tion go along with you whether you speak or are silent; • and let all such Women as are in a Clan or Sisterhood, .. go their own way; there is no Room for you in that
Company who are of the common Taste of the Sax.
Cui in manu fit quem effe dementem velit,
Cæcil. apud Tull. THE following Letter and my Answer shall take up d the present Speculation. .. .
Mr. SPECTATOR, . Am the young Widow of a Country Gentleman, who . I has left me entire Mistress of a large Fortune, which • he agreed to as an Equivalent for the Difference in our • Years. In these Circumstances it is not extraordinary to
have a Crowd of Admirers, which I have abridged in • my own Thoughts, and reduced to a couple of Candi:dates only, both young, and neither of them disagree
cable in their Persons; according to the common Way'
of computing, in one the Estate more than deserves my: • Fortune, in the other my Fortune more than deserves
the Estate. When I consider the first, I own I am so • "'fara Woman I cannot avoid being delighted with the
“Thoughts of living great ; but then he seems to receive
Your most Obedient Servant, :
1 on this important Occasion; I shall therefore talk to you with the Tenderness of a Father, in Gratitude for your: giving me the Authority of one. You do not seein to make any great Distinction between these Gentlemen as to" their. Persons; the whole Question lies upon their Circumffànces and Behaviour ; If the one is less respe&tful because he is rich, and the other more obsequious because he is noc" so, they are in that Point moved by the same Principle, . the Consideration of Fortune, and you must place them in* each other's Circumstànces, before you'can judge of their Inclination. To avoid Confusion in discussing this point,,, I will call the richer-Man Strephon, and the other Florio.. If you believe Florio with Strephon's Eftate would behave himself as he does now, Florio is certainly your Man ; but if you think Strephon, were he in Florio's Condition, would be as obsequious as Florio is now, you ought for your own sake to chuse Strephon; for where the Men are equal, there is no doubt Riches oughtto be a Reason for Preference. After this manner, my dear Child, I would
have you abstrach them from their Circumdances ; for you are to take it for granted, that he who is very humble. only because bę is poqč, is the very fame Man in Nature with him who is haughty because he is rich.
WHEN you have gone thus far, as to consider the Figure they make towards you; you will please, my Dear, next to consider the Appearance you make towards them. If they are Men of Discerning, they can observe the Mo-, lives of your Heart;, and Florio can see when he is difregarded only upon account of Fortune, which makes you. to him a mercenary Creature; and you are ftill the same thing to Strephon, in taking him for his Wealth only : You are therefore to consider whether you had rather oblige, than receive an Obligation. ; THE Marriage Life is always, an infipid, a vexatious, or an happy Condition. The first is, when two People of no Genius or Tafe for themselves meet together, upon sucha Settlement as has been thought reasonable by Parents and Conveyancers from an exact Valuation of the Land and Cash of both parties : In this case the young Lady's Person is no more regarded, than the House and Improvements in Purchase of an Estate ; but she goes with her Fortune, rather than her Fortune with her. These make up the Crowd or Vulgar of the Rich, and fill up the Lumber of human Race, without Beneficence towards those below them, or Respect towards those above them; and lead a despicable, independent and useless Life, without Sense of the Laws of Kindness, Good-nature, mutual Offices, and the elegant Satisfactions which flow from Reason and Virtue.
THE vexatious Life arises from a Conjunction of two People of quick Tafte and Resentment, put together for Reasons well known to their Friends, in which especial Care is taken to avoid (what they think the chief of Evils). Poverty, and ensure to them Riches, with every Evilbefides. These good People live in a constant Constraing, before Company, and too great Eamiliarity alone; when they are within Obfervazion they fret at each other's Car. riage and Behaviour ; when alone, they revile each other's Person and Conduct : In Company they are in a Purga. tory, when only, together in an Hello