within five days after, and Aretheus by that means having the charge of both devolved solely to him, he nourisht that old woman with very great care and tenderness, and of five talents he had in estate, he gave two and a half in marriage with an only daughter he had of his own, and two and a half in marriage with the daughter of Eudamidas, and in one and the same day solemnized both their nuptials. This example is very full, if one thing were not to be objected, namely the multitude of friends for the perfect friendship I speak of, is indivisible, every one gives himself so entirely to his friend, that he has nothing left to distribute to others: but on the contrary, is sorry, that he is not double, treble, or quadruple, and that he has not many souls, and many wills, to confer them all upon this one subject. Common friendships will admit of division, one may love the beauty of this, the good humour of that person, the liberty of a third, the paternal affection of the fourth, the fraternal love of a fifth, and so of the rest. But this friendship that possesses the whole soul, and there rules and sways with an absolute soveraignty, can possibly admit of no rival. If two at the same time should call to you for succour, to which of them would you run? Should they require of you contrary offices; how could you serve them both? Should one commit a thing to your secrecy, that it were of importance to the other to know, how would you disingage your self? A singular and particular friendship disunites and dissolves all other obligations whatsoever. The secret I have sworn not to reveal to any other, I may without perjury communicate to him who is not another, but my self. 'Tis miracle enough certainly, for a man to double himself, and those that talk of tripling, talk they know not of what. Nothing is extream, that has its like; and who shall presuppose, that of two, I love one as much as the other, that they love one another too, and love me as much as I love them, does multiply in friendship, the most single and united of all things, and wherein moreover, one alone, is the hardest thing in the world to find. The remaining part of this story suits very well with what I said before; for Eudamidas as a bounty and favour, bequeaths to his friends a legacy of employing themselves in his necessity; he leaves them heirs to this liberality of his, which consists, in giving them the opportunity of conferring a benefit upon him, and doubtless the force of friendship is more eminently apparent in this act of his, than in that of Aretheus. In short, these are effects not to be imagin'd nor comprehended by such as have not experience of them, and which makes me infinitely honour and admire the answer of that young soldier to Cyrus, by whom being askt how much he would take for a horse, with which he had won the prize of a course, and whether he would exchange him for a kingdom?" No, truly Sir, said he, but I would give him with all my heart, to find a true friend, could I find, out any man worthy of that relation." He did not say ill in saying, could I find, for though a man may almost every where meet with men sufficiently qualified for a superficial acquaintance; yet in this, where a man is to deal from the very bottom of his heart, without any manner of reservation, it will be requisite, that all the wards and springs be neatly and truly wrought, and perfectly sure. In leagues that hold but by one end, we are only to provide against the imperfections, that particularly concern that end. It can be of no importance to me, of what religion my 126 AT TABLE PREFER WITTY BEFORE GRAVE TALK. physician or my lawyer is, provided the one be a good lawyer, and the other a good physician; this consideration hath nothing in common with the offices of friendship, and I am of the same indifferency in the domestick acquaintance, my servants must necessarily contract with me; I never enquire, when I am to take a footman, if he be chaste, but if he be diligent; and am not sollicitous, if my chair-man be given to gaming, as if he be strong and able, or if my cook be a swearer, or a good cook. I do not however take upon me to direct what other men should do in the government of their families, there are enow that meddle enough with that; but only give an account of my method in my own. Mihi sic usus est: tibi, ut opus est facto, face.— In table talk, I preferr the pleasant and witty, before the learned and the grave in common discourse, eloquence, whether or no there be sincerity in that case. And, as he that was found astride upon a hobbyhorse, playing with his children, entreated the person who had surprized him in that posture, to say nothing of it, till himself came to be a father, supposing, that the fondness that would then possess his own soul, would render him a more equal judge of such an action: so I also could wish to speak to such as have had experience of what I say; though, knowing how remote a thing such a friendship is from the common practice, and how rarely such are to be found, I despair of meeting with any one qualified to such a degree of competency. For even these discourses left us by antiquity upon this subject, seem to me flat and low, in comparison of the sense I have of it, and in this particular, the effects surpass the very precepts of philosophy. Nil ego contulerim jucundo sanus amico.-Horat. l. 1. Sat. 5. I nothing to my self can recommend, Like the delight of a facetious friend. The ancient Menander declar'd him to be happy, that had the good fortune to meet with but the shadow of a friend; and doubtless he had good reason to say so, especially, if he spoke by experience; for in good earnest, if I compare all the rest of my life, though thanks be to God, I have always pass'd my time pleasantly enough, and at my ease, and the loss of such a friend excepted, free from any grievous affliction, and in great tranquillity of mind, having been contented with my natural and original conveniences, without being sollicitous after others; if I should compare it all, I say, with the four years I had the happiness to enjoy the sweet society of this excellent man; 'tis nothing but smoak, but an obscure and tedious night, from the day that I lost him. Quem semper acerbum, Semper honoratum (sic Dii voluistis) habebo.-Virg. Æne. 1. 5. I shall in sad, but kind remembrance have. I have only led a sorrowful and languishing life; and the very pleasures that present themselves to me, instead of administring any thing of consolation, double my affliction for his loss. We were halves throughout, and to that degree, that methinks, by out-living him, I defraud him of his part. Nec jus esse ulla me voluptate hic frui Decrevi, tantisper dum ille abest meus particeps. Terence Heau. Act. 1. Sc. I. And this against my self I have decreed, Who in all joys my dear co-partner was. I was so accustomed to be always his second in all places, and in all interests too, that methinks, I am no more than half a man, and have but half a being. Illam meæ si partem animæ tulit Maturior vis, quid moror altera, Since that half of my soul was snatcht away Which now's not dear, nor truly does survive There is no action or imagination of mine, wherein I do not want him ; I know that his advice and assistance would be useful to me: for as he surpast me by infinite degrees in vertue, and all other accomplishments; so he also did in all offices of friendship. Quis desiderio sit pudor, aut modus Tam chari capitis.-Horat. l. 1. Ode 1. A moderate mourning were a scandal here, O misero, frater adempte, mihi! Alloquar? audiero nunquam tua verba loquentem? Aspiciam posthac ? at certe semper amabo.-Catullus. But let us hear a little boy of sixteen speak. "In this place I did once intend to have inserted those memoirs upon that famous edict of January: but being I since find that they are already printed, and with a malicious design, by some who make it their business to molest, and endeavour to subvert the state of our government, not caring whether they mend and reform it, or no; and that they have confounded this writing of his with others of their own leven, I desisted from that purpose: but that the memory of the father may not be interested, nor suffer with such, as could not come near hand to be acquainted with his principles; I here give them truly to understand, that it was writ by him in his very green years, and that by way of exercise only, as a common theme that has been tumbled 128 RELIGIOUSLY OBEY THE LAWS UNDER WHICH YOU ARE BORN. and tost by a thousand writers. I make no question, but that he himself believ'd what he writ, being so consciencious that way, that he would not so much as lye in jest: and do moreover know, that could it have been in his own choice, he had rather have been born at Venice, than at Soarlac, and he had reason: but he had another maxim soveraignly imprinted in his soul, very religiously to obey, and submit to the laws under which he was born. There never was a better citizen, • more affectionate to his country; nor a greater enemy to all the commotions and innovations of his time: so that he would doubtless much rather have employ'd his talent to the extinguishing of those civil flames, than have added any fuel to them: for he had a mind fashion'd to the model of better ages. But in exchange of this serious piece, I will present you with another of a more gay and frolick air, from the same hand, and writ at the same age.” CHAP. XXIII.—OF MODERATION. As if we had an infectious touch, we by our manner of handling corrupt things, that in themselves are laudable and good: we may grasp vertue so hard, till it become vicious, if we embrace it too streight, and with too violent a desire. Those who say, there is never any excess in vertue, for as much as it is no vertue, when it once becomes excess, only play upon words. Insani sapiens nomen ferat, æquus iniqui, Ultra quam satis est, virtutem si petat ipsam.-Horace l. 1. Epist. 6. The wise for mad, the just for unjust pass, When more than needs, ev'n vertue they embrace. This is a subtle consideration in philosophy. A man may both be too much in love with vertue, and be excessive in a just action. Holy writ agrees with this, “Be not wiser than you should ;" but be soberly wise. *I have known a great man prejudice the opinion men had of his devotion, by pretending to be devout beyond all examples of others of his condition. I love temperate and moderate natures. An immoderate zeal, even to that which is good, though it does not offend, does astonish me; and puts me to study what name to give it. Neither the mother of Pausanias, who was the first instructer of her son's process, and threw the first stone towards his death: nor Posthumus the dictator, who put his son to death, whom the ardour of youth had fortunately pusht upon the enemy a little more advanc'd than the rest of his squadron, do appear to me so just as strange; and I should neither advise, nor like to follow so savage a vertue, and that costs so dear. The archer that shoots over, misses as well as he that falls short, and 'tis equally troublesome to my sight, to look up at a great light, and to look down into a dark abyss. Callides in Plato, says, that the extremity of philosophy is hurtful, and advises not to dive into it beyond the limits of profit: that taken moderately, it is pleasant and useful, but that in the end, it renders a man brutish and vicious: a contemner of religion, and the common laws, an enemy to civil conversation, and * 'Tis like he means Henry the 3rd of France. all human pleasures, incapable of all publick administration, unfit either to assist others, or to relieve himself, and a fit object for all sorts of injuries and affronts, without remedy, or satisfaction: he says true, for in its excess, it enslaves our natural freedom, and by an impertinent subtilty, leads us out of the fair and beaten way that nature has plain'd out for us. The love we bear to our wives is very lawful, and yet theology thinks fit to curb and restrain it. As I remember, I have read in one place of St. Thomas of Aquin, where he condemns marriages within any of the forbidden degrees, for this reason, amongst others, that there is some danger, lest the friendship a man bears to such a woman, should be immoderate; for if the conjugal affection be full and perfect betwixt them, as it ought to be, and that it be over and above surcharg'd with that of kindred too, there is no doubt, but such an addition will carry the husband beyond the bounds of reason. Those sciences that regulate the manners of men, divinity and philosophy, will have a saying to every thing. There is no action so private can escape their inspection and jurisdiction, but they are best taught, who are best able to censure and curb their own liberty. Marriage is a solemn and religious tie, and therefore the pleasure we extract from thence, should be a sober and serious delight, and mixt with a certain kind of gravity; it should be a kind of discreet and conscientious pleasure. The kings of Persia were wont to invite their wives to the beginning of their festivals; but when the wine began to work in good earnest, and that they were to give the reins to pleasure, they sent them back to their private apartments, that they might not participate of their immoderate lust. All pleasures, and all sorts of gratifications, are not properly and fitly conferr'd upon all sorts of persons. Epaminondas had committed a young man for certain debauches; for whom Pelopidas mediated, that at his request he might be set at liberty, which, notwithstanding the great intelligence betwixt them, Epaminondas resolutely deny'd to him, but granted it at the first word to a wench of his, that made the same intercession; saying, that it was a gratification fit for such a one as she, but not for a captain. Sophocles being joint prætor with Pericles, seeing accidentally a fine boy pass by: "O what a delicate boy is that" said he; "aye, that were a prize," answered Perides, "for any other than a prætor, who ought not only to have his hands, but his eyes chaste too." There is no just and lawful pleasure, wherein the intemperance and excess, is not to be condemn'd. but, to speak the truth, is not man a most miserable creature the while? It is scarce, by his natural condition, in his power to taste one pleasure pure and entire; and yet must he be contriving doctrines and precepts, to curtail that little he has; he is not yet wretched enough unless by art and study, he augment his own misery. Fortunæ miseras auximus arte vias.-Propert. lib. 3. Ele. 6. We with misfortune 'gainst our selves take part, And our own miseries encrease by art. Human wisdom makes as ill use of her talent, when she exercises it in rescinding from the number and sweetness of those pleasures, that are naturally our due, as she employs it favourably, and well, in artificially disguising and tricking out the ills of life, to alleviate the sense of I |