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CHAPTER VI.

Reaping a Horse with a Halter. Reaping golden Opinions out of a Dung-Hill, and reaping a good Story or two out of the next Room. A Dog-Hunt and Sheep's Head prepared at the Expense of a Dollar each, and a Scotchman's Nose.

I HAVE taken so many flights from our line of retreat in search of the fanciful, that I can only bring my readers back to our actual position, by repeating the oft told tale that our army pulled up in the lines of Torres Vedras to await Massena's farther pleasure; for, whether he was to persevere in his intended compliment of seeing us on board ship, or we were to return it by seeing him out of Portugal again, was still somewhat doubtful; and, until the point should be decided, we made ourselves as comfortable as circumstances would permit, and that was pretty well.

Every young officer, on entering a new stage in his profession, let him fancy himself ever so acute, is sure to become for a time the butt of the old hands. I was the latest arrived at the time I speak of, and of course shared the fate of others, but as the only hoax that I believe they ever tried upon me, turned out a profitable one, I had less cause for soreness than falls to the lot of green-horns in general. It consisted in an officer, famous for his waggery, coming up to me one morning and mentioning that he had just been taking a ride over a part of the mountain, (which he pointed out,) where he had seen a wild horse grazing, and that he had tried hard to catch him, but lamented that he had been unable to succeed, for that he was a very handsome one!

As the country abounded in wolves and other wild characters, I did not see why there should not also be wild horses, and, therefore, greedily swallowed the bait, for I happened not only to be in especial want of a horse, but of dollars to buy one; and arming myself accordingly with a halter and the assistance of an active rifleman, I proceeded to the place, and very quickly converted the wild horse into a tame one! It was not until a year after that I discovered the hoax by which I had unwittingly become the stealer of some unfortunate man's horse; but, in the mean time, it was to the no small mortification of my waggish friend, that he saw me mounted upon him when we marched a few days after, for he had anticipated a very different result.

The saddle which sat between me and the horse on that occasion ought not to be overlooked; for, take it all in all, I never expect to see its like again. I found it in our deserted house at Arruda; the seat was as soft as a pillow, and covered with crimson silk velvet, beautifully embroidered, and gilt round the edges. I knew not for what description of rider it had been intended, but I can answer for it that it was exceedingly comfortable in dry weather, and that in wet it possessed all the good properties of a sponge, keeping the rider cool and comfortable.

While we remained in the lines, there was a small, thatched, mud-walled, deserted cottage under the hill near our company's post, which we occasionally used. as a shelter from the sun or the rain, and some of our men, in prowling about one day, discovered two massive silver salvers concealed in the thatch. The captain of the company very properly ordered them to be taken care of, in the hope that their owner would come to claim them, while the soldiers in the mean time continued very eager in their researches in the neighbourhood, in expectation of making farther discoveries, in which, however, they were unsuccessful. After we had altogether abandoned the cottage, a Portuguese gentleman arrived one day and told us

that he was the owner of the place, and that he had some plate concealed there which he wished permission to remove. Captain immediately de

sired the salvers to be given to him, concluding that they were what he had come in search of; but on looking at them he said they did not belong to him, that what he wished to remove was concealed under the dunghill, and he accordingly proceeded there and dug out about a cart load of gold and silver articles which he carried off, while our unsuccessful searchers stood by, cursing their mutual understandings which had suffered such a prize to slip through their fingers, and many an innocent heap of manure was afterwards torn to pieces in consequence of that morning's les

son.

Massena having abandoned his desolated position in the early part of November, the fifteenth of that month saw me seated on my cloth of crimson and gold, taking a look at the French rear guard, which, under Junot, was in position between Cartaxo and El Valle. A cool November breeze whistled through an empty stomach, which the gilded outside was insufficient to satisfy. Our chief of division was red hot to send us over to warm ourselves with the French fires, and had absolutely commenced the movement when the opportune arrival of Lord Wellington put a stop to it; for, as it was afterwards discovered, we should have burnt our fingers.

While we, therefore, awaited farther orders on the road-side, I was amused to see General Slade, who commanded the brigade of cavalry attached to us, order up his sumpter mule, and borrowing our doctor's medical panniers, which he placed in the middle of the road by way of a table, he, with the assistance of his orderly dragoon, undid several packages, and presently displayed a set-out which was more than enough to tempt the cupidity of the hungry beholders, consisting of an honest-looking loaf of bread, a thundering large tongue, and the fag end of a ham-a bottle of

porter, and half a one of brandy. The bill of fare is still as legibly written on my remembrance as on the day that I first saw it—for such things cannot be, and overcome us like the vision of a Christmas' feast, without especial longings for an invitation; but we might have sighed and looked, and sighed again, for our longings were useless-our doctor, with his usual politeness, made sundry attempts to insinuate himself upon the hospitable notice of the general, by endeavouring to arrange the panniers in a more classical shape for his better accommodation, for which good service he received bow for bow, with a considerable quantity of thanks into the bargain, which, after he had done his best, (and that was no joke,) still left him the general's debtor on the score of civility. When the doctor had failed, the attempt of any other individual became a forlorn hope; but nothing seems desperate to a British soldier, and two thorough-going ones, the commanders of the twelfth and fourteenth light dragoons, (Colonels Ponsonby and Harvey,) whose olfactory nerves, at a distance of some hundred yards, having snuffed up the tainted air, eagerly followed the scent, and came to a dead point before the general and his panniers. But although they had flushed their game they did not succeed in bagging it; for while the general gave them plenty of his own tongue, the deuce take the slice did he offer of the bullock's-and as soon as he had satisfied his appetite he very deliberately bundled up the fragments, and shouted to horse, for the enemy had by this time withdrawn from our front, and joined the main body of the army on the heights of Santarem. We closed up to them, and exchanged a few civil shots-a ceremony which cannot be dispensed with between contending armies on first taking up their. ground, for it defines their territorial rights, and prevents future litigation.

Daylight next morning showed that, though they had passed a restless night, they were not disposed to extend their walk unless compelled to it, for their

position, formidable by nature, had, by their unwearied activity, become more so by art-the whole crest of it being already fenced with an abbatis of felled trees, and the ground turned up in various directions.

One of our head-quarter staff-officers came to take a look at them in the early part of the morning, and, assuming a superior knowledge of all that was passing, said that they had nothing there but a rear-guard, and that we should shove them from it in the course of the day-upon which our brigadier, (Sir Sidney Beckwith,) who had already scanned every thing with his practised eye, dryly remarked, in his usual homely but emphatic language, "It was a gay strong rearguard that built that abbatis last night!" And so it proved, for their whole army had been employed in its construction, and there they remained for the next four months.

The company to which I belonged; (and another,) had a deserted farming establishment turned over for our comfort and convenience during the period that it might suit the French marshal to leave us in the enjoyment thereof. It was situated on a slope of the hill overlooking the bridge of Santarem, and within range of the enemy's sentries, and near the end of it was one of the finest aloes I have ever seen, certainly not less than twelve or fourteen feet high. Our mansion was a long range of common thatched building-one end was a kitchen-next to it a parlour, which became also the drawing and sleeping-room of two captains, with their six jolly subs-a door-way communicated from thence to the barn, which consti tuted the greater part of the range, and lodged our two hundred men. A small apartment at the other extremity, which was fitted up for a wine-press, lodged our non-commissioned officers; while in the background we had accommodation for our cattle, and for sundry others of the domestic tribes, had we had the good fortune to be furnished with them.

The door-way between the officers' apartment and

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