against him, sir, perhaps another magistrate Trap. Sir, I will, and a great deal more: may my oath; which, because I see his mar- but pray, sir, give me leave to recover my riage is in haste, I am obliged to make im-courage-I protest the keen looks of that mediately: if he can out-face the law too, I instrument have quite frighted it away. Pray shall be content to be the coxcomb then you put it up, sir. think me. [Exit. Don P. Nay, to let thee see I had rather Don M. Ah, poor fellow! he's resolved to be thy friend than enemy, I'll bribe thee to carry it off with a good face, however. Ha, ha! be honest: discharge thy conscience like a Trap. Ay, sir, that's all he has for't indeed. man, and I'll engage to make these five, ten Hyp. Trappanti, follow him, and do as I pieces. directed. [Apart to Trappanti. Trap. I warrant ye, sir. [Exit. Don M. Ha! my little champion, let me kiss thee; thou hast carried the day like a hero! man nor woman, nothing can stand before thee. I'll make thee monarch of my I daughter immediately. Hyp. That's the Indies, sir. Enter a Servant. Trap. Sir, your business will be done effectually. Don P. Here, friend! will ye tell your master desire to speak with him? [Exit Servant. Oct. Don Philip! Don P. Octavio! This is fortunate indeedDon M. Well said, my lad-Oh, my heart's the only place in the world I would have going to dance again-Pr'ythee let's in before wish'd to have found you in. it gets the better of me, and give the bride Oct. What's the matter? an account of thy victory [Exeunt. Don P. You'll see presently-but pr'ythee how stands your affair with your mistress? Oct. The devil take me if I can tell ye-1 Enter OCTAVI0, with a Letter. Oct. Rosara false! distraction! Sure this letter don't know what to make of her; about an must be but artifice, a humour, to try how hour ago she was for scaling walls to come far my love can bear-and yet methinks she at me, and this minute-whip, she's going to can't but know the impudence of my young marry the stranger I told you of; nay, conrival, and her father's importunity, are too fesses too, it is with her own consent; and pressing to allow her any time to fool away: yet begs by all means to see me as soon as and if she were really false, she could not her wedding's over.-Isn't it very pretty? take a pride in confessing it. Death! I know not what to think; the sex is all a riddle, and we are the fools that crack our brains to expound it. Enter VILETTA. Now, dear Viletta! Vil. Sir, she begs your pardon; they have just sent for the priest; but they will be glad to see you about an hour hence, as soon the wedding's over. as Oct. Viletta! Vil. Sir, she says, in short, she can't possibly speak with you now, for she's just going to be married. Oct. Death! daggers! blood! confusion! and ten thousand furies! Vil. Hey-day! what's all this for? Oct. My brains are turn'd, Viletta. Fil. Ay, by my troth, so one would think, if one could but believe you had any at all; if you have three grains, I'm sure you can't but know her compliance with this match must give her a little liberty; and can you suppose she'd desire to see you an hour hence, if she did not design to make use of it? Oct. Don't flatter me, Viletta. Vil. Faith, sir, I'll be very plain, you are to me the dullest person I ever saw in my life; but if you have a mind, I'll tell her you won't come. Oct. No, don't say so, Viletta. Vil. Then pray, sir, do as she bids you; Re-enter a Servant. Serv. Sir, my master will wait on you presently. [Exit. Oct. But the plague on't is, my love cannot bear this jesting.-Well now, how stands your affair? Have you seen your mistress yet? Don P. No; I can't get admittance to her Don P. When I came to pay my duty Don P. Ay, I found an impudent young rascal here before me, that had taken my name upon him, robb'd me of my portmanteau, and by virtue of some papers there, knew all my concerns to a tittle; he has told a plausible tale to her father, faced him down that I'm an impostor, and if I don't this minute prevent him, is going to marry the lady. Oct. Death and hell! [Aside] What sort of fellow was this rascal? Don P. A little pert coxcomb; by his impudence and dress, I guess him to be some French page. Oct. Confusion! my friend at last my rival too-Yet hold! my rival is my friend, he owns he has not seen her yet[Aside. Don P. You seem concern'd. Oct. Undone for ever, unless dear Philip's still my friend! don't stay here to spoil your own sport: you'll Don P. What's the matter? have the old gentleman come thundering down Oct. Let me conjure ye, by all the ties of upon ye by-and-by, and then we shall have honour, friendship, and pity, never to attempt ye at your ten thousand furies again-hist! her more! here's company! good bye t'ye. [Exit. Re-enter DON PHILIP, with his Sword drawn, and TRAPPANTI. Don P. Come, sir, there's no retreating now; this you must justify. Don P. You amaze me! Oct. 'Tis the same dear creature I so passionately dote on. Don P. Is't possible? Nay then, be easy in thy thoughts, Octavio; and now I dare con fess the folly of my own: I'm not sorry thou'rt stand a little fairer for you; all I beg is but my rival here. In spite of all my weak philo- your patient hearing. sophy, I must own the secret wishes of my Don M. Well, sir, you shall have it-Here soul are still Hypolita's. I know not why, he comes, bring him to trial as soon as you but I can't help thinking that my fortune still please. resolves, spite of her cruelty, to make me one day happy. Oct. Quit but Rosara, I'll engage she shall be yours. Don P. Not only that, but will assist you with my life to gain her: I shall easily excuse myself to my father for not marrying the mistress of my dearest friend. Re-enter FLORA and HYPOLITA. Flora. So Trappanti has succeeded, he's come without the officers. [Apart to Hypolita. Hyp. Hearing, sir, you were below, I didn't care to disturb the family by putting the of ficers to the trouble of a needless search; let me see your warrant, I'm ready to obey it. Oct. Dear Philip, let me embrace ye.-But Don M. Ay, where's your officer? how shall we manage the rascal of an im- Flora. I thought to have seen him march postor? Suppose you run immediately, and in state, with an alguazil before him. swear the robbery against him? Don P. I was afraid, sir, upon second Don P. I was just going about it, but my thoughts, your business would not stay for a accidental meeting with this fellow has luckily warrant, though 'tis possible I may provide prevented me; who, you must know, has been for you, for I think this gentleman's a machief engineer in the contrivance against me; gistrate: in the mean time-O! here, I have but between threats, bribes, and promises, prevailed with an alguazil to wait upon ye. has confessed the whole roguery, and is now ready to swear it against him: so, because I understand the spark is very near his marriage, I thought this would be the best and soonest way to detect him. Oct. That's right! the least delay might have lost all; besides, I am here to strengthen his evidence, for I can swear that you are the true don Philip. Don P. Right! Enter Aiguazil. Alg. Did you send for me, sir? Don M. Hold! hold! sir, all things in order: this gentleman is yet my guest; let me be first acquainted with his crime, and then I shall better know how he deserves to be treated; and that we may have no hard words upon one another, if you please, sir, let me first Trap. Sir, with humble submission, that talk with you in private. [They whisper. will be quite wrong? Oct. Why so? Hyp. Undone! that fool Trappanti, or that villain, I know not which, has at least misTrap. Because, sir, the old gentleman is taken or betray'd me! Ruin'd, past redemption! substantially convinced that 'tis you who have [Apart to Flora. put don Philip upon laying his pretended claim Flora. Death! what d'ye mean? that hanging to his daughter, purely to defer the marriage, look were enough to confirm a suspicion; bear that in the mean time you might get an op-up, for shame. apart. portunity to run away with her; for which Hyp. Impossible! I am dash'd, confounded; reason, sir, you'll find your evidence will but if thou hast any courage left, show it quickly; fly in your face, and hasten the match with go speak before my fears betray me. [Apart your rival. Don P. Ha! there's reason in that; all your endeavours will but confirm his jealousy of me. Oct. What would you have me do? Trap. Don't appear at the trial, sir. Don P. By no means; ra her wait a little| in the street be within call and leave the management to me. Oct. Be careful, dear Philip, Don P. I always used to be more fortunate in serving my friend than myself. Oct. But hark ye! here lives an alguazil at Don P. Stand aside till I call for you, Re-enter DON MANUEL. Don P. Now, sir, I hope my credit will Don M. If you can make this appear by any witness, sir, I confess 'twill surprise me indeed. Flora. Ay, sir, if you have any witnesses, we desire you'd produce 'em. Don P. Sir, I have a witness at your service, and a substantial one. Hey! Trappanti! Re-enter TRAPPANTI. Now, sir, what think ye? Hyp. Ha! the rogue winks-Then there's life again. [Aside] Is this your witness, sir? Don P. Yes, sir, this poor fellow at last, it seems, happens to be honest enough to confess himself a rogue, and your accomplice. Hyp. Ha, ha! Don P. Ha, ha! You are very merry, sir. Don M. Nay, there's a jest between ye, that's certain-But come, friend, what say you to the business? Have ye any proof to offer upon oath, that this gentleman is the true don Philip, and consequently this other an impostor? Don P. Speak boldly. Trap. Ay, sir, but shall I come to no harm if I do speak? Don M. Let it be the truth, and I'll protect thee. Trap. Are you sure I shall be safe, sir? Don M. I'll give thee my word of honour; speak boldly to the question, Trap. Well, sir, since I must speak, then Trap. O lud! O lud! sir, as I hope to die in the first place, I desire your honour will in my bed, these are the very words, he be pleased to command the officer to secure threaten'd to stab me if I wouldn't swear against that gentleman. Don M. How, friend? Don P. Secure me, rascal? Trap. Sir, if I can't be protected, I shall never be able to speak. Don M. I warrant thee-What is it you say, friend? Trap. Sir, as I was just now crossing the my master-I told him at first, sir, I was not fit for his business; I was never good at a lie in my life. Alg. Nay, sir, I saw this gentleman's sword at his breast out of my window. Trap. Look ye there, sir! Don P. Damnation! Omnes. Ha, ha, ha! street, this gentleman, with a sneer in his face, Don M. Really, my friend, thou'rt almost takes me.by the hand, claps five pistoles in turn'd fool in this business. If thou hadst my palm (here they are), shuts my fist close prevail'd upon this wretch to perjure himself, upon 'em; "My dear friend," says he, "you couldst thou think I should not have detected must do me a piece of service:" upon which, him? You may go, friend. sir, I bows me him to the ground, and desired him to open his case. Don P. What means the rascal? Don M. Sir, I am as much amazed as you; but pray let's hear him, that we may know his meaning. Trap. So, sir, upon this he runs me over a long story of a sham and a flam1) he had Flora. Ha, ha! [Exit Alguazil. Don P. Sir, you're imposed on: defer the marriage but an hour. Don M. Ay, and in half that time, I suppose, you are in hopes to defer it altogether. Don P. Perdition seize me, if I have any hope or thought but that of serving you. Don M. Nay, now thou art a downright just contrived, he said, to defer my master's distracted man. - Dost thou expect I should marriage only for two days. take thy bare word, when here were two honest fellows that have just proved thee in a lie to thy face? Don P. Confusion! Flora. Nay, pray, sir, let's hear the evidence. Trap. Upon the close of the matter, sir, I found at last by his eloquence, that the whole business depended upon my bearing a little false witness against my master. Hyp. O ho! Enter Servant. Don M. Is he so? Then, sir, if you please, since you see you can do me no further serTrap. Upon this, sir, I began to demur: vice, I believe it may be time for you to go. "Sir," says I, "this business will never hold-Come, son, now let's wait upon the bride, water; don't let me undertake it, I must beg and put an end to this gentleman's trouble your pardon;" gave him the negative shrug, altogether. and was for sneaking off with the fees in my pocket. Don M. Very well! Flora. Hyp. Ha, ha, ha! Trap. Upon this, sir, he catches me fast hold by the collar, whips out his poker, claps it within half an inch of my guts: "Now, dog," says he, "you shall do it, or within two hours rot upon the dunghill you came from." Don P. Sir, if there be any faith in mortal man Don M. Nay, nay, one at a time; you shall be heard presently. Go on friend. Hyp. Sir, I'll wait on ye. [Exit. Don P. Confusion! I've undone my friend. [Walks about. Flora. Trappanti! rogue, this was a masterpiece. [Apart Trap. Sir, I believe it won't be mended in haste. [Apart. Exeunt Flora and Truppanti. Hyp. Sir! Don P. Ila! alone! if we're not prevented now-[Aside] Well, sir— Hyp. I suppose you don't think the favours you have design'd me are to be put without satisfaction; therefore I shall expect to see you early to-morrow, near the Prado, with your [To Trappanti. sword in your hand in the mean time, sir, Trap. Having me at this advantage, sir, I'm a little more in haste to be the lady's began to think my wit would do me more humble servant than yours. [Going. service than my courage; so prudently pre- Don P. Hold, sir!-you and I can't part tended out of fear to comply with his threats, upon such easy terms. and swallow the perjury: but now, sir, being Hyp. Sir! under protection and at liberty of conscience, I have honesty enough, you see, to tell you the whole truth of the matter. Don M. Ay, this is evidence indeed! Don P. You're not so near the lady, sir, Hyp. What d'ye mean? Don P. Come, sir-draw! Hyp. My ruin now has caught me; this was the very spite of fortune. [Aside. Don P. Dog! Villain! Did not you confess to me that this gentleman picked you up, not three hours ago, at the same inn where alighted? that he had own'd his stealing my Don P. Come, sir, my time's but short. portmanteau at Toledo? that if he succeeded Hyp. And mine's too precious to be lost to marry the lady, you were to have a con- on any thing but love; besides, this is no prosiderable sum for your pains, and these two per place. To-morrow, sir, I shall find a better. were to share the rest of her fortune between them? i) To pop a obses, or a flam, slang for, to deceive. Don P. No, now, sir, if you please-Draw, villain, or expect such usage as I am sure don Philip would not bear. Hyp. A lover, sir, may bear any thing to Ros. Truly, I began to be afraid I should make sure of his mistress-You know it is not lose my little husband. fear that [Apart. Hyp. Husband, quotha! Get me but once Don P. No evasion, sir; either this moment safe out of these breeches, if ever I wear 'em confess your villainy, your name, and fortune, again or expect no mercy. Hyp. Nay then-Within there! Don P. Move but a step, or dare to raise thy voice beyond a whisper, and this minute is thy last. [Seizes her, and holds a Sword ACT V. [Apart. Exeunt. SCENE -The same. Enter TRAPPANTI. to her Breast. Trap. What, in the name of roguery, can Hyp. Sir! [Trembling. this new master of mine be? He's either a Don P. Villain! be quick, confess, or- fool or bewitch'd, that's positive. First, he Hyp. Hold, sir-I own I dare not fight with gives me fifty pieces for helping him to marry the lady; and soon as the wedding is over, you. Don P. No, I see thou art too poor a vil- claps me twenty more into the other hand, to lain-therefore be speedy, as thou hopest I'll help him to get rid of her. - Nay, not only spare thy life. that, but gives me a strict charge to observe Hyp. Nay then, sir-Mercy! mercy! [Throws his directions, in being evidence against him herself at his Feet] And, since I must con- as an impostor, to refund all the lies I have fess, have pity on my youth, have pity on my told in his service, to sweep him clear out of love! my conscience, and now to swear the robbery Don P. Thy love! What art thou? Speak. against him! What the bottom of this can be, Hyp. Unless your generous compassion I must confess, does a little puzzle my wit.spares me, sure the most wretched youth that There's but one way in the world I can solve ever felt the pangs and torments of a success- it. He must certainly have some secret reason Mess passion. to hang himself, that he's ashamed to own, Don P. Nay, then I must forgive thee. [Raises and so was resolved first to be married, that her] For I have known too well the misery his friends might not wonder at the occasion. not to pity-any thing in love. Yet hold-But here he comes, with his noose in his hand. nor flatter thy fond hopes too far: you must defer your marriage with this lady. Hyp. Sir, on my knees. Don P. Expect no more from me; either comply this moment, or my sword shall force thee. Hyp. Consider, sir Enter HYPOLITA and RoSARA. Hyp. Trappanti, go to don Pedro, he has business with you. Trap. Yes, sir. Ros. Who's don Pedro pray? [Exit. Hyp. Flora, madam; he knows her yet by Don P. Nay then, discover quick! Tell me no other name. Where's your father, madam? thy name and family.. Hyp. Hold, sir Don P. Speak, or thou diest. Hyp. Sir, I will-[A Noise at the Door] Ha! they are entering-O! for a moment's courage! Come on, sir. Ros. I saw him go towards his closet; I believe he's gone to fetch you part of my fortune-he seem'd in mighty good humour. Hyp. We must be sure to keep it up as high as we can, that he may be the more stunn'd when he falls. [Breaks from him and draws, retiring Ros. With all my heart; methinks I am till Don Manuel, Flora, Trappanti, possess'd with the very spirit of disobedience and Servants rush in and part them. Now could I, in the humour I am in, conDon M. Knock him down! Force him out sent to any mischief that would but heartily of the room there; call an officer; in the mean plague my old gentleman. time, secure him in the cellar. Enter DoN MANUEL. Don M. Ah, my little conqueror! let me Don P. Hear me but one word, sir! Don M. Stop his mouth-out with him. [They hurry him off] Come, dear son, be pacified. embrace thee-That ever I should live to see Hyp. A villain! [Walks in a Heat. this day! this most triumphant day, this day Flora. Why should he be concern'd, now of all days in my life! he's secure? Such a rascal would but contaminate the sword of a man of honour. Hyp. I am sorry, sir, such a fellow should bave it in his power to disturb me-but Hyp. Ay, and of my life too, sir. Enter ROSARA. [Embraces him. Don M. Ay, my cares are over-Now I've nothing to do but to think of the other world; for I've done all my business in this: got as many children as I could; and now I'm grown Don M. Look! here's my daughter in a fright old, have set a young couple to work. Look to seek for you. Hyp. Then I'm composed again. [Runs to Rosara. Ros. I heard fighting here! I hope you are not wounded, sir? you here, children, have brought you some baubles that will make you merry as long as you live; twelve thousand pistoles are the least value of 'em; and the rest of your fortune shall be paid in the best Barbary gold Hyp. I have no wound but what the priest to-morrow morning. can heal. Hyp. Ay, sir, this is speaking like a father! Don M. Ah! well said, my little champion! this is encouragement indeed! Hyp. Oh, madam! I have such a terrible escape to tell you! Don M. Much good may do thy heart and [Apart to Rosara. soul with 'em-and heaven bless you together and rivals. -I've had a great deal of care and trouble this day! If I were sure to beg for it all my to bring it about, children; but, thank my life after-Here, sirrah, cook! look into the stars, 'tis over- 'tis over now- Now I may Roman history, see what Mark Anthony had sleep with my doors open, and never have for supper, when Cleopatra first treated him my slumbers broken with the fear of rogues with chere entiere: rogue, let me have a repast that will be six times as expensive and Ros. Don't interrupt him, and see how far provoking-Go.-And, d'ye hear? One of you his humour will carry him? step to monsieur Vendevin, the king's butler, [Apart to Hypolita. for the same wine that his majesty reserves for his own drinking; tell him he shall have his price for't. 1 Serv. How much will you please to have, sir? Don M. Too much, sir! I'll have every thing upon the outside of enough to-day. Go you, sirrah, run to my nephew, don Lewis, give my service and tell him to bring all his family along with him. Don M. But there is no joy lasting in this world; we must all die when we have done our best; sooner or later, old or young, prince or peasant, high or low, kings, lords, andcommon whores, must die! Nothing certain; we are forced to buy one comfort with the loss of another.-Now I've married my child, I've lost my companion-I've parted with my girl!-Her heart's gone another way now, she'll forget her old father!-I shall never have it begins to look like a wedding. her wake me more, like a cheerful lark, with her pretty songs in a morning I shall have nobody to chat at dinner with me now, or Hyp. Here comes Flora - Now, madam, obtake up a godly book and read me to sleep serve your cue. in ar afternoon. Ah! these comforts are all gone now! [Weeps. Hyp. Ay, sir! this is as it should be! now Don M. Ah! we'll make all the hair in the world stand an end at our joy. Enter FLORra. Hyp. How very near the extreme of one Flora. Your servant, gentlemen-I need not passion is to another! Now he is tired with wish you joy — You have it, I see-Don Phijoy, till he is downright melancholy. [Aside. lip, I must needs speak with you. Ros. What's the matter, sir? Don M. Ah! my child! now it comes to the test, methinks I don't know how to part with thee. Ros. O, sir, we shall be better friends than ever. Don M. Uh! uh! shall we? Wilt thou come and see the old man now and then? Well, heaven bless thee, give me a kiss-I must kiss: thee at parting! Be a good girl, use thy husband well, make an obedient wife, and I shall die contented. Hyp. Pshaw! pr'ythee don't plague me with business at such a time as this. Flora. My business won't be deferred, sir. Flora. I suppose you guess it, sir; and I must tell you, I take it ill it was not done before. Hyp. What d'ye mean? Ros. Don't disturb 'em, sir-We shall know all presently. Hyp. But what have you done with don Philip? [Apart to Flora. Flora. I drew the servants out of the way, while he made his escape; what we do we must do quickly; come, come, put on your fighting face, and I'll be with 'em presently. Hyp. Die, sir! Come, come, you have a great while to live-Hang these melancholy thoughts, they are the worst company in the world at a wedding. Consider, sir, we are young; if you would oblige us, let us have a little life and mirth, a jubilee to day at least; stir your servants, call in your neighbours, let me see your whole family mad for joy, sir. Don M. Ha! shall we be merry then? [Aside. Hyp. Merry, sir! ah! as beggars at a feast. Hyp. [Aloud] Sir, I have offer'd you very What, shall a dull Spanish custom tell me, fair; if you don't think so, I have married the when I am the happiest man in the kingdom, I shan't be as mad as I have a mind to? Let me see the face of nothing to-day but revels, friends, feasts, and music, sir. Don M. Ah! thou shalt have thy humourthou shalt have thy humour! Hey, within there! rogues! dogs! slaves! where are my rascals? Ah! my joy flows again-I can't bear it. Enter several Servants. Serv. Did you call, sir? Don M. Call, sir! ay, sir: what's the reason you are not all out of your wits, sir? Don't you know that your young mistress is married, scoundrels? 1 Sere. Yes, sir, and we are all ready to be mad, as soon as your honour will please to give any distracted orders. Hyp. You see, sir, they only want a little. encouragement. Don M. Ah! there shall be nothing wanting lady, and take your course. Flora. Sir, our contract was a full third; a third part's my right, and I'll have it, sir. Don M. lley! Hyp. Then I must tell you, sir, since you are pleased to call it your right, you shall not have it. Flora. Not, sir? |