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fer honour, not upon the great men, but upon little Roubillac.

Hitherto disappointed in my enquiry after the great of the prefent age, I was refolved to mix in company, and try what I could learn among critics in coffee-houses; and here it was that I heard my favourite names talked of even with inverted fame. A gentleman of exalted merit as a writer was branded in general terms as a bad man; another of exquifite delicacy as a poet was reproached for wanting good-nature; a third was accused of freethinking; and a fourth of having once been a player. Strange, cried I, how unjust are mankind in the diftribution of fame; the ignorant among whom I fought at firft were willing to grant, but incapable of diftinguishing the virtues of thofe who deferved it; among thofe I now converfe with, they know the proper objects of admiration, but mix envy with applause.

Disappointed fo often, I was now refolved to examine thofe characters in perfon of whom the world talked fo freely; by converfing with men of real merit, I began to find out thofe characters which really deferved, though they ftrove to avoid, applause. I found the vulgar admiration entirely misplaced, and malevolence without its fting. The truly great, poffeffed of numerous fmall faults and thining virtues preferve a fublime in morals as in writing. They who have attained an excellence in either commit numberlefs tranfgreffions, obfervable to the meanest understanding. The ignorant critic and dull remarker can readily fpy blemishes in eloquence or morals, whofe fentiments are not fufficiently elevated to obferve a beauty; but fuch are judges neither of books nor of life; they can diminifh no folid reputation by their cenfure, nor beftow a lafting character by their applaufe: in fhort, I found

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I found by my fearch, that fuch only can confer real fame upon others, who have merit themselves to deserve it.

Adieu.

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THERE are numberless employments in the courts of the Eaftern monarchs utterly unpractifed and unknown in Europe. They have no fuch officers, for instance, as the emperor's ear-tickler, or tooth picker; they have never introduced at the courts the mandarine appointed to bear the royal tobacco-box, or the grave director of the imperial exercitations in the feraglio. Yet I am furprized that the English have imitated us in none of these particulars, as they are generally pleafed with every thing that comes from China, and exceffively fond of creating new and ufelefs employments. They have filled their houfes with our furniture, their public gardens with our fire-works, and their very ponds with our fifh; our courtiers, my friend, are the fish and the furniture they fhould have imported; our courtiers would fill up the neceffary ceremonies of a court better than thofe of Europe, would be contented with receiving large falaries for doing little, whereas fome of this country are at prefent difcontented though they receive large falaries for doing nothing.

I lately therefore had thoughts of publishing a propofal here, for the admiffion of fome new Eaftern offices and titles into their court regifter,

As

As I confider myself in the light of a Cofmopolite, I find as much fatisfaction in fcheming for the countries in which I happen to refide, as for that in which I was born.

The finest apartments in the palace of Pegu are frequently infefted with rats. Thefe the religion of the country ftrictly forbids the people to kill. In fuch circumftances therefore they are obliged to have recourfe to fome great man of the court, who is willing to free the royal apartments even at the hazard of his falvation. After a weak monarch's reign the quantity of court vermin in every corner of the palace is furprizing, but a prudent king and a vigilant officer foon drive them from their fanctuaries behind the matts and the tapestry, and effectually free the court. Such an officer in England would in my opinion be ferviceable at this juncture; for if, as I am told, the palace be old, much vermin muft undoubtedly have taken refuge behind the wainscot and hanging. A minifter fhould therefore be invefted with the title and dignities of courtvermin-killer; he fhould have full power either to banish, take, poison or deftroy them, with enchantments, traps, ferrets, or ratfbane. He might be permitted to brandifh his befom without remorie, and brush down every part of the furniture, without fparing a fingle cobweb, however facred by long prefcription. I communicated this propofal fome days ago in a company of the firft diftinction, and enjoying the moft honourable offices of the ftate. Among the number were the infpector of Great Britain, Mr. Henriques the director of the miniftry, Ben. Victor the treafurer, John Lockman the fecretary, and the conductor of the Imperial Magazine. They all acquiefced in the utility of my propofal, but were apprehenfive it might meet with fome obftructions from court upholsterers and

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chamber

chamber-maids, who would object to it from the demolitions of the furniture, and the dangerous use of ferrets and ratsbane.

My next propofal is rather more general than the former, and might probably meet with lefs oppofition. Though no people in the world flatter each other more than the English, I know none who understand the art lefs, and flatter with fuch little refinement. Their panegyric, like a Tartar feast, is indeed ferved up with profufion, but their cookery is infupportable. A client here fhall drefs up a fricaffee for his patron, that fhall offend an ordinary nofe before it enters the room. A town fhall fend up their addrefs to a great minifter, which fhall prove at once a fatire on the minifter and themfelves. If the favourite of the day fits, or ftands, or fleeps, there are poets to put it into verfe, and priefts to preach it in the pulpit. In order therefore to free both those who praife, and those who are praifed from a duty probably difagreeable to both, I would conftitute profeffed flatterers here as in feveral courts of India. Thefe are appointed inthe courts of their princes, to inftruct the people where to exclaim with admiration, and where to lay an emphasis of praife. But an officer of this kind is always in waiting when the emperor converfes in a familiar manner among his Rajas and other nobility. At every fentence, when the Monarch paufes, and fmiles at what he has been faying, the Karamatman, as this officer is called, is to take it for granted, that his majefty has faid a good thing. Upon which he cries out Karamat! Karamat! a miracle, a miracle, and throws up his hands and his eyes in extacy. This is echoed by the courtiers around, while the emperor fits all this time in fullen fatisfaction, enjoying the triumph of his joke, or ftudying a new repartee.

I would

I would have fuch an officer placed at every great man's table in England. By frequent practice he might foon become a perfect mafter of the art, and in time would turn out pleafing to his patron, no way troublesome to himself, and might prevent the nauseous attempts of many more ignorant pretenders. The clergy here, I am convinced, would relish this propofal. It would provide places for feveral of them. And indeed by fome of their late productions many appeared to have qualified themfelves as candidates for this office already.

But my laft proposal I take to be of the utmost importance. Our neighbour the emprefs of Ruffia has, you may remember, inftituted an order of female knighthood. The empress of Germany has also instituted another; the Chinese have had fuch an order time immemorial. I am amazed the English have never come into fuch an inftitution. When I confider what kind of men are made knights here, it appears ftrange, that they have never conferred this honour upon women. They make cheesemongers and pastrycooks knights; then why not their wives? They have called up tallow chandlers to maintain the hardy profeffion of chivalry and arms; then why not their wives? Haberdafhers are fworn, as I fuppofe all knights must be sworn, never to fly in time of mellay or battle, to maintain and uphold the noble eftate of chivalry, with horfe barnifbe and other knightlye habiliments. Haberdafhers, I fay, are fworn to all this, then why not their wives? Certain I am their wives underftand fighting and feats of mellay and battle better than they, and as for knightly horse and harnifhe, it is probable both know nothing more than the harnefs of a one horse chaife. No, no, my friend, inftead of conferring any order upon the hufbands, I would knight their wives. However the ftate fhould

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