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Coun. Where's the child flying to? Vic. Let me begone, Or see me die before you. [She rushes out. Ven. Let me begone, and deal with him yourself.
Coun. Here you must stay.
Ven. [Listening] Let me but get my sword; There's battery and bloodshed in his heels.
LORENZO enters, in high animation. Lor. My noble father! Countess mother too! I heard of your good fortune at the port, And give you joy! I came on wings to you. Where is Victoria? [They stand sullenly. Is she ill?
What shall I say to him? [Aside How go the wars? You've had hard fighting, Sir? Lor. Blows, as was natural; beds, as it pleased Fate,
Under the forest-trees, or on the sands,-
Ven. You had rare plundering in Morocco;
The genuine Persian-Cachmere shawls—
Ven. Our name's ennobled. Coun.
Are you answered now! My child, unless she find a noble spouse, Shall die unmarried.
Ven. [To the Countess]-Will you have swords out? [Aside. Lor. The man who gave me being, though no Lord,
Was Nature's nobleman,-an honest man! Unpedestall'd, but on his lowly grave, And prouder am 1, at this hour to stand, Than if I tower'd upon a monument High as the clouds with rotten infamy. [Calls]-Come forth, sweet love! and tell them how they've wrong'd
Your constant faith. Ven. [To the Countess, aside]-He'll have the house down else. Coun. You shall be satisfied. Now, mark my words! [She goes out. Lor. [Turning on Ventoso]-What treachery's this?
Your answer, Sir. I'll not be scorn'd in vain! Ven. Saint Anthony save us! I foresaw it all
Left here alone with this--rhinoceros! [Aside. [To Lorenzo]- Nay, Captain, hear but reason; let's be friends. My wife-all womankind must have their willPlease her, and buy a title.
Ven. Then half the world are fools. The
My doctor, nay, my barber, is a knight,
VICTORIA enters, urged by the COUNTESS.
As is thy beauty. Aye, this faithful lip
1) This produces a ludricous effect to a Londoner, these blue bours, etc. are the signs of some of the well known inns in London.
We know you-a most honour'd gentleman-¡Her hand's like ice.
You will find
Others more worthy of your love.-Farewell-
[She sinks into the Countess's Arms. Coun. [To Lor.]— Are you convinced at last?
Ven. You see the tide's against you. [To Lor.
Victoria, look upon me!—
See the face
Of one to whom you were heart, wealth
When the sun scorch'd us,-when the forest
Worse than the lances of the fiery Moor,
Run away, no doubt.
He'll loose his comrades at us, hunt us down,
For any man!
Had she her mother's tongue.
[He Calls Leonora.]
LEONORA comes in.
Or was't some spirit hous'd within these walls,
When others slept, I follow'd every star,
No blood of mine
Ven. [Agitated]-Wife, lead her in-
But leave us now.
[To the Countess] The girl will die. To Lorenzo]
Good day. Farewell Nuns so meck, and Monks so mellow.
Lor. [To Victoria]-One word.
She is overpowered.
[To Ventoso] Where's your honour, Sir?
Vic. Lorenzo!-Lost for ever!-
With a lira, la, etc. [Spiritedly.
The COLONEL is beside the Table, betting.
Maj. Be't what you please with him, Colonel,
Cor. Here; Marker! hold this meerschaum. Giving his Pipe]-Beat me! Spadaccino! I beat the Venetian marker, who could whisper the balls into the pockets; a fellow who had pillaged the whole Senate ;-Corpo di San Januario! Beat me?
Maj. The Venetian marker! I have beat
Cor. It was handsomely filled-for once! Play. [He misses]-Diavolo! Confound this coffee-house game. Hazard and high life for
every marker, from the Hill of Howth to the volve the character of the corps. In a tavern Peak of Teneriffe. I have brought home this too! muff [Taking off his Cap] full of ducats Maj. [Sheathing his Sabre] Colonel, I and doubloons, since I have handled a cue drew merely for quiet's sake.-[Laughing] in his Sicilian Majesty's service. And now that it's all over, what the devil was it all about? [To the Cornet. Cor. Major, you should have understood the language of my feelings. Maj. How should I understand it, my dear? Maj. Ha, ha! the Cornet is a young soldier: I never heard them speak a syllable before. be soon tires of being in the way of the balls. Col. Not another word, Major. Here's some Now for a cannon1). Play. [He misses]-one at the door. This quarrel must not be That's all ill luck. made a town-talk. [Lorenzo enters, and Cor. Cannon!-muffs and meerschaums-throws himself on a Chair, dejectedly] Oh, you always fire great guns. Play. [He plays] it's Lorenzo! why, man, what's the matter -Mark two. [To the Marker. with you?-any bad news, Captain?
Cor. [Interrupting him]-Rather
Maj. [Angrily] Great guns! That is, I[The Cornet and Major return to the Table] imagineCor. The sublime dejection of a disastrous love. [Aside to the Major. Cor. [Plays]-Game. Col. Lorenzo, will you play? Lor. Excuse me, Colonel; I am not in spirits; I beg I may not disturb any one.
Maj. That I exaggerate, [More irritated.
Cor. Never!-no man alive can charge you with a propensity to blushing.
Maj. Count Carmine-I have never found occasion for it. I wish I could say as much for all my friends, Cornet my dear.
Cor. Diavolo! Do you mean to insult me? This hurts my honour.
Cor. Quite gone out! Dull as a select party of the first distinction, 'pon honour. Col. Stir, Lorenzo! This doubloon for the doctor who will find out his distemper.
[Flinging Money on the Table. Maj. Poh! it's the military epidemic-the Maj. By the glory of the Twentieth, no man coming on of the half-pay;-a cursed comcan cure it easier-plaster it with your vanity.plication of disorders. Cor. Draw, Sir!
Lor. [Gradually recooering] The simple fighting fact is, my good friends, I am rather out of Draw, temper just now-I have been extremely insulted.
Maj. The Cornet has got his moustaches on-I must humour him. Sir! Here goes my bill of exchange. Col. What are you both about? [Interposing]-Cornet, I must request · We shall be taken for a fighting regiment.
Cor. Impossible!-Excuse me, Colonel. [He takes off his cap to the Colonel, and glances within it.]-My mirror! the left moustache quite dishevelled.
Maj. The coxcomb's at his looking glass, by the glory of the Twentieth!
Maj. You had a fair thrust for it, I hope? [Sternly. Lor. No, confound it, that was out of the question. Twas by a woman.
Cor. Ob, jilted! nothing more? Ha, ha! It might have happened to the handsomest man in the service; for example. But on what grounds were you turned out? [To Lorenzo. Lor. Turned out, Sir?
Cor. [Arranging his Moustachio] – One moment,-You would not have a gentleman fight, like a footman, in a state of utter bru-patriated, made horrible. tality-all blowse.
Cor. Mille pardons! I mean, exiled, ex
Maj. Come on, Sir.
Col. Eh?-The infidelity all on one side, 1 suppose,- -or
Cor. Were you miscellaneous in the house?
Cor. [To the Major] I make it a rule ne- Maj. Were you in doubt whether you ver to be disturbed at my toilet. [To the Co-were most in love with the daughter, the lonel] My beard's three quarters of an hour mother, or the grandmother? too dark. Now, Sir, to correct insolence! [He draws his Sabre. Maj. Now, Sir! to chastise insolence past correction! [They fight a few passes-the Colonel and other Officers interpose. Col. Gentlemen, gentlemen, put up your swords. Fight in the street, if you will. If you be killed here, we shall have the quarrel put in the bill 3).-[Laughing] Officers, I command you to stop. This will in1) Carambolage.
Col. He by the public gardens: the late merchant indeed? [Haughtily. Maj. Old Figs and Raisins? Ha, ha, ha! Cor. Absolutely:-old Allspice and Sugarcanes! Muffs and meerschaums!
Col. So, Captain, the old trafficker refused to take you into the firm? [Haughtily. Maj. The veteran grocer did not like the green recruit. Ha, ha!
Cor. The green!- superb! que!-The Major's from the
2) To colour is the genteel word for exaggerate, or lie;
the man will die," said the doctor, "Oh! never mind,
Maj. By the glory of the
put him in the bill," was the answer: i, e. charge it form, my boy.
to our account.
How picturesEmerald Isle1). [They laugh. Twentieth! you in your full uni[To Lorenzo.
1) Ireland is called the green or Emerald isle.
Cor. Hung out your shabrac for an apron.[
Col. And Indigo.
Cor. No; that's for the Blues1),
Maj. And eyes, like hock in green glasses. Col. With, as I presume, no small share of the Tartar at bottom.
Cor. Tartar! Muffs and meerschaums! Hottentot!
Lor. [Starting from his Chair]-Colonel! I can listen to this no longer. I insist upon
Lor. Gentlemen, I find I must bid you it that the subject shall be dropped. You good night. This depresses-this offends me. don't know the lady. She's lovely, incomI'm in no temper for jesting. parable. Maj. Aye, aye, a Venus of course.
Col. Poh! Lorenzo, no parting in ill humour. We all know you to be a capital, high-flavour'd fellow; but, as one of us, you might have consulted your rank,—the honour of the regiment,-in this city connexion.
[Half aside. Cor. Yes, if ever there was one at the Cape 1). [Half aside. Col. You may leave the lady to her natuCor. By all that's dignified, one of the Ro-ral fate, the trader is rich. She will throw yal Sicilian, the Twentieth!-should not be herself away, according to the manner of all conscious of the existence of any thing un-women who have money, and the business der a Duke.
Maj. He may nod to a General, eh?-now and then;-Cornet.
Cor. When the streets are empty,—but, he should be familiar with no man
Col. Under a Prince of the blood.
Cor. Nor with him, unless on guard at Court.
Lor. [Half laughing]-Gentlemen, I am perfectly sensible of our infinite superioritybut
will be done by some scoundrel with a plau-
Lor. That will be the most appropriate of
are we to find this im
Maj. But what? By St. Patrick, Captain, please. I don't comprehend. [Haughtily. Cor. But where Lor. I never expected that you would, Ma- postor? jor O'Shannon. [To the Rest]-Unfortunate- Maj. Ha, ha, ha! Sweet simplicity of youth! ly, all the world are not so accessible to find an impostor? Why, man, you'll find conviction. The venerable lady of the man-him in ninety-nine out of a hundred, and sion's last words to me were, that she would that of the best company. But I'll find him not suffer a daughter of hers to marry any for you within a hundred yards of this spot. Trooper of us all.
All. Trooper! [In various Irritation]
Maj. I'll go instantly, and challenge the whole house, from the Count to the kitchen maid.
Cor. Let us send all the farriers to shoe the horses in front of these parvenus; we'll hammer them deaf.
Col. Or order the trumpeters to practise six hours a night under their balcony.
Cor. Or, to take signal vengeanceMaj. Aye, to exterminate the whole neighbourhood
You know my friend is governor of the jail;
Let us go there directly, and pick out a rogue
Lor. He must not be a ruffian; I will not have her insulted; the fellow must be decent.
Maj. My love, he shall be magnificent; as fine as a Duke, or a Drum-Major. He shall be as full of fuss and feathers as a new laid Aidede-Camp.
Lor. It shall be so. Her pride shall be her shame. I could disdain myself for wasting a thought upon them! a race of weak, presumptuous, purseproud
Col. But the direct offence,-a little coquetry, a little female tyranny?
Cor. Both as natural to the sex as lips and eyes. Lor. My dear Pistrucci, [To the Colonel] Cor. No man has it more in his power don't ask me any farther. The matter is too than yourself, Major;-sing them one of your ridiculous, considering what they were. -national melodies. thing less than-Yet why should I not say it? [They laugh, the Colonel pacifies the Major] nothing less than my want of noble birthCol. What kind of existence) is this dan- of family
gerous jilt? Have you seen her, gentlemen? Col. Poh! They are a family of fools. A Maj. I have-a hundred times. She was soldier's noblest pedigree is his honour. Let always on parade when I was officer of the him look to posterity. day. A tough affair, with a vinegar visage; a compound of
Cor. Her old father's cellars.
Maj. Blue-ruin lips3).
Cor. Tongue thick as Tokay.
1) There is an English regiment called the Oxford blues.
Maj. Aye, to posterity. Let him make his forefathers out of that. What business has a soldier to be looking behind him; by the glory of the Twentieth
1) The Cape of Good Hope. We remember the Hottentot Venus.
2) Farther westward would be towards Ireland, the Major's country.
Cor. To the jail, to the jail. I shall take Laz. Here, Master, I give you "Success to remorseless vengeance. The affair's regimen- the law." tal; the whole Corps has been insulted most Jail. Why, Lazaro, that toast's against trade; superlatively Trooper! Muffs and meer- for if there were no rogues, there would be schaums! no jails. Lor. Yet, upon second thoughts—I—should rather
Col. What, man! relenting, retracting? Cor. You are pledged from frill to fetlock. Maj. He's at the lady's feet within this half hour. Who'll take ten to one?
Laz. Aye, Master, but for one rogue that the law frightens, it makes twenty.
Jail. Ha! ba! here then's "Success to the law," you sly old politician.
Laz. Politician! Lord, Sir, don't take away my character. But will you look at this paper. Lor. Never; by all that's manly, never. [Gices him a Letter. abjure the sex. Do as you will for me. I will Jail. Eh, what? "Admit," "prisoners." never look at one of them with complacency [Reads]-The Major's hand: let them in, by again. I must leave you now. I will rejoin all means. [Lazaro goes]-That fellow has you at the jail. All have been insulted, and been bribed by the Major: I know it. But I-Women!-compounds of vanity, perfidy, we heads of departments must overlook those pride! My brain, my brain! [He rushes out. things now and then; he'll do as much for Cor. Envy, hatred, malice.— me another time. [Noise of Chains falling] Maj. Well, we can match them in censo- Here they are, sad dogs; our morals will be riousness, at least, Cornet. Poh, poh! The only way for a man of honour to look at a pretty woman's faults, is to shut his eyes 1).
Col. Now, to find our scapegrace. Maj. To be sure; quick as an Irish quarrel, Colonel. To the jail, gentlemen.
Cor. To the jail-If it must be so,-and yet-Diavolo! 'twill soil my spurs. I'd rather be tried by a court-martial of old women. Maj. Aye, Cornet, every one by his peers 2). -By the glory of the Twentieth!
[Exeunt, laughing. SCENE II.-A Hall in the Jail.-Night. The JAILOR comes in. He calls. Jail. Ho! Lazaro! lock up, lock up; make haste, bring me those keys. Let the prisoners have their water: I love to treat the dogs well. And, d'ye see, let me have my wine. [He sings.
For let who will swing,
The COLONEL, MAJOR, and CORNET come in; LAZARO leading them, with a Lantern. Laz. [Outside]-This way, gentlemen; keep clear of the blackhole,-have a care of the rope :-this way, gentlemen.
Cor. Where are we, fellow? This is "darkness visible". a cavern- an absolute mine. Muffs and meerschaums!
Jail. Aye, Master Officer, we have a few deep1) ones here, and of the first families too-ha, ha, ha!
Maj. [Advancing]-Gentlemen! let me introduce you to Signior Jeronimo Stiletto, the guardian angel of Palermo, the author of half its virtues; a gentleman at the head of his profession, I assure you. Signior, we wish to see a parade of your best ruffians.
Jail. By all means, Major;-Lazaro, give the word within. [Lazaro goes] Ah, Major, you're in luck-never had a fuller calendar, prospect of a glorious session!
Your Jailor's a King. [He sits at the Table] No; your king is not to be compared to your jailor; for my [The Prisoners come in, with Lazaro; the subjects never mutiny; my will is the law; Jailor ranges, and displays them.] and as long as there's virtue in iron, I have There, gentlemen of the Hussars, there's a all my Commons within a ring fence. La- turn out-right face, rascal!—and a fine burgzaro, I say. [Lazaro comes in with a Fla-lary face too. gon]. Sit down. you old rogue, and fill me a cup. [Drinks] Bright as a ruby! Now, Master Turnkey, do you think we could do this, if we had a brace of wives after us? By no means, Master Lazaro—fill, fill! JAILOR [sings]. bachelor's happy, your And o'er his brown nappy
He'll drink down the sun and the moon, brave
But the husband's a wretch,
And a rope's end can't ease him too soon!
Jail. To get into jail? Well, likely enough they may, all in good time; but not to-night. I'll not have my lambs disturbed for any of ficers unbang'd-fill yourself a glass, and give [They fill.
me a toast.
1) A good Irish bull, or blunder. 2) Equals.
[Showing a Prisoner. Col. Capital; broad, bold and bloodletting. Jail. There's a handsome petty larcenyshy as a cat. [Showing a Prisoner. Cor. Exquisitely thievish-felony to the tips of his fingers.
Maj. A Noah's a:k; a gathering of all the unclean. [To one of the Prisoners] Pray what brought you here, my lad?
1st Pri. My morality. I was a gambler, grew ashamed of my profession, and took to the road 2).
Cor. The road! exquisite-mended your ways. Turned Field Officer, you hear, Major. And you, my coy friend? [To a Pri 2d Pri. I was a money dealer; jobbed in the funds.
Maj. From the stocks) to the jail-the course of nature.
Col. [To a third]-And you, Sir, were, I presume, not quite immaculate-a thorough rogue?
1) A cunning fellow.
2) Turned highway-robber.
3) Stocks, the funds; and stocks, a punishment.