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herself! Ob, Theodosia! - Shall I climb the royster and touzle one so? If Ralph was to wall and come up to you? see you, he'd be as jealous as the vengeance. Mer. Hang Ralph! Never mind him.-'There's a guinea for thee.
Theo. No; speak softly: sir Harry and my lady sit below, at the end of the walk.-How much am I obliged to you for taking this trouble!
Mer. When their happiness is at stake, what is it men will not attempt? - Say but you love me then.
Theo. What proof would you have me give you?—I know but of one: if you please, am willing to go off with you.
Mer. Are you? —Would to heaven I had brought a carriage!
Theo. How did you come?-Have you not horses?
Mer: No; there's another misfortune. - To avoid suspicion, there being but one little public-house in the village, I dispatched my servant with them about an hour ago, to wait for me at a town twelve miles distant, whither I pretended to go; but alighting a mile off, I equipp'd myself and came back as you see: neither can we, nearer than this town, gel a post-chaise.
Theo. You say you have made a confidant of the miller's son:- -return to your place of rendezvous —- My father has been asked this moment, by lord Aimworth, who is in the garden, to take a walk with him down to the mill: they will go before dinner; and it shall
be hard if I cannot contrive to be one of the company.
Mer. And what then?
Theo. Why, in the mean time, you may devise some method to carry me from hence; and I'll take care you shall have an opportunity of communicating it to me.
Mer. Well, but dear Theodosia
DUETT. THEODOSIA and MERVIN.
In pledge-promis'd truth, that's all.
She calls again. I must away.
Fan. Please your honour, you were so kind to say you would remember my fellow travellers for their trouble: and they think I have gotten the money.
Mer. Oh, here; give them this-[Gives her Money] And for you, my dear little pilot, you have brought me so cleverly through my business, that I must
Fan. Ob, Lord!-your honour-[Mervin kisses her] Pray don't-kiss me again.
Fan. What, a golden guinea?
Mer. Yes; and if thou art a good girl, and do as I desire thee, thou shalt have twenty. Fan. Ay, but not all gold.
Mer. As good as that is.
Fan. Shall I though, if I does as you bids me? Mer. You shall.
Fan. Precious heart! He's a sweet gentleman-Icod, I have a great mind
Mer. What art thou thinking about?
Fan. I don't know what I am thinking
Mer. By heaven, I am serious.
Mer. Stay here a little, to see that all keeps quiet: you'll find me presently at the mill, where we'll talk further.
Ralph. So, Fan, where's the gentleman? Fan. How should I know where he is? What do you ask me for?
Ralph. There's no harm in putting a civil question, be there? Why you look as cross and ill-natured
Fan. Well, mayhap I do- and mayhap I have wherewithal for it.
Ralph. Why, has the gentleman offered any thing uncivil? Ecod, I'd try a bout 1) as soon as look at him.
Fan. He offer!-no-he's a gentleman every inch of him: but you are sensible, Ralph, you have been promising me, a great while, this, and that, and t'other; and, when all comes to all, I don't see but you are like the rest of them. Ralph. Why, what is it I have promised? Fan. To marry me in the church, you have hundred times."
Mer. Again and again.-There's a thought come into my head.-Theodosia will certainly have no objection to putting on the dress of a sister of mine. So, and so only, we may Ralph. Well, and mayhap I will, if you'll escape to-night. This girl, for a little money, have patience.
will provide us with necessaries. [Aside. Fan. Patience me no patience; you may
Fan. Dear gracious! I warrant you, now, do it now, if you please.
I am as red as my petticoat: why would you 1) I'll fight with him.
Ralph. Well, but suppose I don't please? so to do: besides, I do partly know why he I tell you, Fan, you're a fool, and want to did it; and I'll fish out the whole conjuration, quarrel with your bread and butter; I have and go up to the castle and tell every syllable: had anger enow from feyther already upon a shan't carry a wench from me, were he your account, and you want me to come by twenty times the mon he is, and twenty times more. As I said, if you have patience, may-to that again; and moreover than so, the first hap things may fall out, and mayhap not. time I meet, un, I'll knock un down, tho'f Fan. With all my heart then; and now I 'twas before my lord himself; and he may know your mind, you may go hang yourself. capias me for it afterwards an he wull.
Ralph. Ay, ay.
Fan. Yes, you may-who cares for you? Ralph. Well, and who cares for you, an you go to that?'
Fan. A menial feller 1)-Go mind your mill and your drudgery; I don't think you worthy to wipe my shoes-feller.
Ralph. Nay but, Fan, keep a civil tongue in your head: odds flesh! I would fain know what fly bites all of a sudden now.
Fan. Marry come up, the best gentlemen's sons in the country have made me proffers! and if one is a miss, be a miss to a gentleman, I say, that will give one fine clothes, and take one to see the show, and put money in one's pocket.
Ralph. Whu, whu-[Fanny hits him a Slap] What's that for?
Fan. What do you whistle for then? Do you think I am a dog?
Ralph. Never from me, Fan, if I have not a mind to give you, with this switch in my hand here, as good a lacing 2)-
Fan. Touch me, if you dare: touch me, and I'll swear my life against you.
Ralph. A murrain! with her damn'd little fist as hard as she could draw.
A I R.
As they count me such a ninny,
They have scor'd without their host.
Thought the work as good as done, When he found the little stroller
Was so easy to be won.
But if I don't show him, in lieu of it,
SCENE III-4 Room in the Mill; two Chairs,
Enter FAIRFIELD and GILES.
Fair. In short, farmer, I don't know what to say to thee. I have spoken to her all I can; but I think children were born to pull the grey hairs of their parents to the grave with sorrow.
Giles. Nay, master Fairfield, don't take on Fan. Well, it's good enough for you: I'm about it: belike miss Pat has another love; not necessitated to take up with the impudence and if so, in heaven's name be't: what's one of such a lowliv'd monkey as you are. -A man's meat, as the saying is, is another man's gentleman's my friend, and I can have twenty poison; tho'f some might find me well enough guineas in my hand, all as good as this is. to their fancy, set in case I don't suit her's, Ralph. Belike from this Londoner, eh? why there's no harm done. Fan. Yes, from him--so you may take your promise of marriage; I don't value it that[Spits] and if you speak to me, I'll slap your chops again.
Lord, sir, you seem mighty uneasy;
I warrant I shall not run crazy,
If so you suppose, you're mistaken;
I'm not such a maiden forsaken,
But I have two strings to my bow. [Exit.
Fair. Well but, neighbour, I have put that to her; and the story is, she has no inclination to marry any one; all she desires is, to stay at home and take care of me.
Giles. Master Fairfield-here's towards your good health.
Fair. Thank thee, friend Giles-and here's towards thine. I promise thee, had things gone as we proposed, thou shouldst have bad one half of what I was worth, to the uttermost farthing.
Giles. Why to be sure, master Fairfield, I but, as to that matter, had I married, it should am not the less obligated to your good will; Ralph. Indeed! Now I'll be judg'd by any not have been for the lucre of gain; but if I soul living in the world, if ever there was a do like a girl, do you see, I do like her; ay viler piece of treachery than this here: a couple and I'll take her, saving respect, if she had of base, deceitful-after all my love and kind- not a second petticoat.
ness shown. Well, I'll be revenged; see an Fair. Well said where love is, with a I ben't- Master Marvint, that's his name, an little industry, what have a young couple to he do not shan it he has come here and be afraid of? And, by the lord Harry, for all disguised unself; whereof 'tis contrary to law that's past, I cannot help thinking we shall 1) Fellow. The common people of England have an bring our matters to bear yet-young women, idea that this word means a thief, (the word felon you know, friend Giles
being probably pronounced in the french manner, might Giles. Why, that's what I have been thinking bave it qualified by some well-meaning adjective, when with myself, master Fairfield.
have given rise to this idea) and consequently will
it is used to them, or else they always take it ill.
We can say a good, young, fine, or handsome fellow, but we must be careful of saying the word fellow,
Fair. Come, then, mend thy draught. — Deuce take me if I let it drop so-But, in any case, don't you go to make yourself uneasy; Giles. Uneasy, master Fairfield; what good
would that do?-For sarten, seeing how things and declares she will never marry at all.were, I should have been very glad had they But I know, my lord, she'll pay great respect gone accordingly: but if they change, 'tis no to any thing you say; and if you'll but lay fault of mine, you know. your commands on her to marry him, I'm sure she'll do it.
Zooks! why should I sit down and grieve?
Here's what masters all disasters:
What a murrain then should ail me!
He's a child that whimpers for a toy;
Enter LORD AIMWORTH.
Lord A. Who, I lay my commands on her? Fair. Yes, pray, my lord, do; I'll send her in to you, and I humbly beg you will tell her, you insist upon the match going forward; tell her, you insist upon it, my lord, and speak a little angrily to her. [Exit.
Lord A. Master Fairfield! What can be the meaning of this?-Refuse to marry the farmer! How, why?-My heart is thrown in an agitation; while every step I take serves but to lead me into new perplexities.
I came hither, Patty, in consequence of our [Exit. conversation this morning, to render your change of state as agreeable and happy as I could: but your father tells me you have falFair. O the goodness, his lordship's honour len out with the farmer; has any thing hap-you are come into a litter'd place, my noble pened since I saw you last to alter your good sir-the arm-chair-will it please your honour opinion of him? to repose you on this, till a better
Lord A. Thank you, miller, there's no occasion for either.-I only want to speak a few words to you, and have company waiting for me without.
Fair. Without-wou't their honours favour my poor hovel so far
Pat. No, my lord, I am in the same opinion with regard to the farmer now as I always was.
Lord A. I thought, Patty, you loved him; you told mePat. My lord!
Lord A. Well, no matter-It seems I have Lord A. No, miller, let them stay where been mistaken in that particnlar-Possibly they are.- find you are about marrying your your affections are engaged elsewhere: let me daughter-I know the great regard my mother but know the man that can make you happy, had for her; and am satisfied that nothing and I swear
but her sudden death could have prevented Pat. Indeed, my lord, you take too much her leaving her a handsome provision. trouble upon my account.
Fair. Dear, my lord, your noble mother, you, and all your family, have heaped favours on favours on my poor child.
Lord A. Whatever has been done for her she has fully merited
Fair. Why, to be sure, my lord, she is a very good girl.
Lord A. Perhaps, Patty, you love somebody so much beneath you, you are ashamed to own it; but your esteem confers a value wheresoever it is placed: I was too harsh with you this morning: our inclinations are not in our own power; they master the wisest of us.
Pat. Pray, pray, my lord, talk not to me Lord A. Poor old man-but those are tears in this style: consider me as one destined by of satisfaction-Here, master Fairfield, to bring birth and fortune to the meanest condition and matters to a short conclusion, here is a bill offices. Let me conquer a heart, where pride of a thousand pounds.-Portion your daughter and vanity have usurped an improper rule; with what you think convenient of it. and learn to know myself.
Lord A. I insist upon your taking it.-Put it up, and say no more.
Fair. Well, my lord, if it must be so: but indeed, indeed
Fair. A thousand pounds, my lord! Pray Lord A. Or possibly, Patty, you love some excuse me; excuse me, worthy sir; too much one so much above you, you are afraid to has been done already, and we have no pre-own it-If so, be his rank what it will, he is tensionsto be envied: for the love of a woman of virtue, beauty, and sentiment, does honour to a monarch. What means that downcast look, those tears, those blushes? Dare you not confide in me?-Do you think, Patty, you have Lord A. In this I only fulfil what I am sa- a friend in the world would sympathize with tisfied would please my mother. As to my-you more sincerely than I? self, I shall take upon me all the expenses of Pat. What shall I answer? [Aside]—No, Patty's wedding, and have already given orders my lord; you have ever treated me with a about it. kindness, a generosity of which none but minds Fair. Alas, sir, you are too good, too ge-like yours are capable: you have been my innerous; but I fear we shall not be able to profit of your kind intentions, unless you will condescend to speak a little to Patty.
Lord A. How speak!
Fair. Why, my lord, I thought we had pretty well ordered all things concerning this marriage; but all on a sudden the girl has taken it into her head not to have the farmer,
structor, my adviser, my protector: but, my lord, you have been too good: when our superiors forget the distance between us, we are sometimes led to forget it too: had you been less condescending, perhaps I had been happier.
Lord A. And have I, Patty, have I made you unhappy; I, who would sacrifice my own felicity to secure yours?
Giles. If his lordship's honour would be so kind, I would acknowledge the favour as far as in me lay.
Pat. I beg, my lord, you will suffer me to be gone: only believe me sensible of all your favours, though unworthy of the smallest. Lord A. How unworthy?-You merit every Sir H. Let me speak-[Takes Lord Aimthing; my respect, my esteem, my friendship, worth aside] a word or twoj in your lord
and my love!-Yes, I repeat, I avow it: your ship's ear. beauty, your modesty, your understanding, has Theo. Well, I do like this gipsy scheme made a conquest of my heart. But what a prodigiously, if we can but put it into execuworld do we live in! that while I own this, tion as happily as we have contrived it. while I own a passion for you, founded on the justest, the noblest basis, I must at the same time confess the fear of that world, its So, my dear Patty, you see I am come to taunts, its reproaches. return your visit very soon; but this is only Pat. Ah, sir, think better of the creature a call en passant-will you be at home after you have raised, than to suppose I ever en-dinner?
tertained a hope tending to your dishonour: Pat. Certainly, madam, whenever you conwould that be a return for the favours I bave descend to honour me so far: but it is what received? I am unfortunate, my lord, but not I cannot expect. criminal.
Lord A. Patty, we are both unfortunate: for my own part, I know not what to say to you, or what to propose to myself.
Theo. O fie, why not-
Sir H. Here, you goodman delver, I have Pat. Then, my lord, 'tis mine to act as I done your business; my lord has spoke, and ought; yet while I am honoured with a place your fortune's made: a thousand pounds at in your esteem, imagine me not insensible of present, and better things to come; his lordso high a distinction, or capable of lightly turn-ship says he will be your friend. ing my thoughts towards another.
Giles. I do hope, then, miss Pat will make
Lord A. How cruel is my situation!-I am all up. here, Patty, to command you to marry the Sir H. Miss Pat, make up; stand out of the man who has given you so much uneasiness. way, I'll make it up. Pat. My lord, I am convinced it is for your credit and my safety it should be so: I hope I have not so ill profited by the lessons of your noble mother, but I shall be able to do my duty, wherever I am called to it: this will be my first support; time and reflection will complete the work.
Cease, ob, cease to overwhelm me.
'Gainst our fate in vain's resistance,
QUINTETTO.-SIR HARRY SYCAMORE, LORD
Sir H. No justice of peace, no bailiffs, no head-borough!
Lord A. What's the matter, sir Harry? Sir H. The matter, my lord-While I was examining the construction of the mill without, for I have some small notion of mechanics, miss Sycamore had like to have been run away with by a gipsy man.
Theo. Dear papa, how can you talk so? Did not I tell you it was at my own desire the poor fellow went to show me the canal? Sir H. Hold your tongue, miss. I don't know any business you had to let him come near you at all: we have stayed so long too: your mamma gave us but half an hour, and she'll be frightened out of her wits-she'll think some accident has happened to me.
Come hither, ye blockhead, come
So now let us leave them together.
Sir H. Why, miss, will you mind when
Lord A. May ev'ry felicity fall to your lot!
Lord A. I'll wait upon you when you please. Sir H. O! but, my lord, here's a poor fel- SCENE 1.-The low; it seems his mistress has conceived some disgust against him; pray has her father spoke to you to interpose your authority in his bebalf?
Lady S. A
wretch! coming of such a race as mine; and of horses in all England (but that he did only having an example like me before her! now and then for his amusement)-And he Lord A. I beg, madam, you will not disquiet used to say, my lord, that the female sex were yourself: you are told here, that a gentleman good for nothing but to bring forth children, lately arrived from London has been about and breed disturbances.
the place to-day; that he has disguised him- Lord A. The ladies were very little obliged self like a gipsy, came hither, and had some to your ancestor, sir Harry: but for my part, conversation with your daughter; you are I have a more favourable opinion— even told, that there is a design formed for their going off together; but possibly there may be some mistake in all this.
Sir H. Ay but, my lord, the lad tells us the gentleman's name: we have seen the gipsies; and we know she has had a hankering
Lady S. Sir Harry, my dear, why will you put in your word, when you hear others speaking-I protest, my lord, I'm in such confusion, I know not what to say: I can hardly support myself.—
Lord A. This gentleman, it seems, is at a little inn at the bottom of the hill.
Sir H. I wish it was possible to have a file of musketeers, my lord; I could head them myself, being in the militia; and we would go and seize him directly.
Lady S. [Within] Sir Harry! Sir Harry! Sir H. You are in the wrong, my lord: with submission, you are really in the wrong. [Exit.
Lord A. How now, master Fairfield, what brings you here?
Fair. I am come, my lord, to thank you for your bounty to me and my daughter this morning, and most humbly to entreat your lordship to receive it at our hands again.
Lord A. Ay-why, what's the matter? Fair. I don't know, my lord: it seems your generosity to my poor girl has been noised about the neighbourhood; and some evil-minded people have put it into the young man's head Lord A. Softly, my dear sir; let us proceed that was to marry her, that you never would with a little less violence in this matter, I be-have made her a present so much above her seech you. We should first see the young deserts and expectations, if it had not been lady-Where is miss Sycamore, madam? upon some naughty account: now, my lord, Lady S. Really, my lord, I don't know; II am a poor man 'tis true, and a mean one; saw her go into the garden about a quarter but I and my father, and my father's father, of an hour ago, from our chamber window. have lived tenants upon your lordship's estate, Sir H. Into the garden! perhaps she has got where we have always been known for honest an inkling of our being informed of this affair, men; and it shall never be said, that Fairfield, and is gone to throw herself into the pond. the miller, became rich in his old days, by the Despair, my lord, makes girls do terrible things wages of his child's shame. 'Twas but the Wednesday before we left Lon- Lord A. What then, master Fairfield, do don, that I saw, taken out of Rosamond's-you believepond, in St. James's Park, as likely a young Fair. No, my lord, no, heaven forbid: but woman as ever you would desire to set your when I consider the sum, it is too much for eyes on, in a new callimancoe petticoat, and us; it is indeed, my lord, and enough to make a pair of silver buckles in her shoes.
bad folks talk: besides, my poor girl is greatly
Lord A. I hope there is no danger of any alter'd; she us'd to be the life of every place such fatal accident happening at present; but she came into; but since her being at home, will you oblige me, sir Harry? I have seen nothing from her but sadness and watery eyes.
Sir H. Surely, my lord
Lord A. Will you commit the whole direction of this affair to my prudence?
Sir H. My dear, you hear what his lordship
Lady S. Indeed, my lord, I am so much asham'd, I don't know what to answer; the fault of my daughter—
Lord A. The farmer then refuses to marry Patty, notwithstanding their late reconciliation?
Fuir. Yes, my lord, he does indeed; and has made a wicked noise, and used us in a very base manner: I did not think farmer Giles would have been so ready to believe such a thing of us.
Lord A. Don't mention it, madam; the fault Lord A. Well, master Fairfield, I will not has been mine, who have been innocently the press on you a donation, the rejection of which occasion of a young lady's transgressing a does you so much credit; you may take my point of duty and decorum, which otherwise word, however, that your fears upon this ocshe would never have violated. But if you, casion are entirely groundless: but this is not and sir Harry, will walk in and repose your-enough; as I have been the means of losing selves, I hope to settle every thing to the ge- your daughter one husband, it is but just I should get her another; and, since the farmer Lady S. Come in, sir Harry. [Exit. is so scrupulous, there is a young man in the Lord A. I am sure, my good friend, had I house here, whom I have some influence over, known that I was doing a violence to miss and I dare say he will be less squeamish. Sycamore's inclinations, in the happiness I Fair. To be sure, my lord, you have, in all honest ways, a right to dispose of me and
proposed to myself—
Sir H. My lord, 'tis all a case- -My grand-mine as you think proper. father, by the mother's side, was a very sen- Lord A. Go then immediately, and bring sible man-he was elected knight of the shire Patty hither; I shall not be easy till I have in five successive parliaments, and died high given you entire satisfaction. But, stay and sheriff of his county- -a man of fine parts, fine take a letter, which I am stepping into my talents, and one of the most curiousest docker study to write: I'll order a chaise to be got