"did not attend to these whims of mine. The only harsh 66 66 thing I ever remember saying to her was one evening shortly before our parting. I was standing before the "fire, ruminating upon the embarrassment of my affairs, and other annoyances, when Lady Byron came up to me and said, 'Byron, am I in your way?' to which I replied, damnably!' I was afterwards sorry, and "reproached myself for the expression: but it escaped me unconsciously-involuntarily; I hardly knew what " I said. 66 66 66 66 6 I heard afterwards that Mrs. Charlment had been the means of poisoning Lady Noel's mind against me;—that "she had employed herself and others in watching me in "London, and had reported having traced me into a house "in Portland-place. There was one act of which I might justly have complained, and which was unworthy of any one but such a confidante: I allude to the breaking open my writing-desk. A book was found in it that did not "do much credit to my taste in literature, and some letters "from a married woman with whom I had been intimate "before my marriage. The use that was made of the latter was most unjustifiable, whatever may be thought of the 66 66 66 breach of confidence that led to their discovery. Lady Byron sent them to the husband of the lady, who had "the good sense to take no notice of their contents. The "gravest accusation that has been made against me is that "of having intrigued with Mrs. Mardyn in my own house; introduced her to my own table, &c. There never was a more unfounded calumny. Being on the Committee "of Drury-lane Theatre, I have no doubt that several actresses called on me: but as to Mrs. Mardyn, who was 66 66 66 66 a beautiful woman, and might have been a dangerous "visitress, I was scarcely acquainted (to speak) with her. "I might even make a more serious charge against "than employing spies to watch suspected amours, * "I I had been shut up in a dark street in London, writing 66 66 (I think he said) 'The Siege of Corinth,' and had refused myself to every one till it was finished. I was surprised one day by a Doctor and a Lawyer almost forcing themselves at the same time into my room. I did not know till after"wards the real object of their visit. I thought their ques❝tions singular, frivolous, and somewhat importunate, if not 66 impertinent but what should I have thought, if I had "known that they were sent to provide proofs of my "I have no doubt that my answers to these emissaries' interrogations were not very rational or consistent, for my (+) For Inez called some druggists and physicians, "And tried to prove her loving lord was mad; "But as he had some lucid intermissions, "She next decided he was only bad. "Yet when they ask'd her for her depositions, "No sort of explanation could be had, 66 Save that her duty both to man and God Required this conduct,-which seem'd very odd. "She kept a journal where his faults were noted, Besides her good old grandmother Don Juan, Canto I. Stanzas 27 and 28. 66 imagination was heated by other things. But Dr. Bailey "could not conscientiously make me out a certificate for 66 66 66 Bedlam; and perhaps the Lawyer gave a more favoura"ble report to his employers. The Doctor said afterwards, * he had been told that I always looked down when Lady Byron bent her eyes on me, and exhibited other symptoms equally infallible, particularly those that marked the "late King's case so strongly. I do not, however, tax Lady Byron with this transaction; probably she was not privy "to it. She was the tool of others. Her mother always "detested me; she had not even the decency to conceal "it in her own house. Dining one day at Sir Ralph's, (who was a good sort of man, and of whom you may form some idea, when I tell you that a leg of mutton was always served at his table, that he might cut the same joke upon 66 66 66 66 it,) I broke a tooth, and was in great pain, which I could not avoid shewing. 'It will do you good,' said Lady Noel; 'I am glad of it!' I gave her a look! You ask if Lady Byron were ever in love with me"I have answered that question already-No! I was the fashion when she first came out: I had the character of 66 66 66 being a great rake, and was a great dandy-both of which young ladies like. She married me from vanity and the 66 hope of reforming and fixing me. She was a spoiled child, " and naturally of a jealous disposition; and this was in"creased by the infernal machinations of those in her con"fidence. "She was easily made the dupe of the designing, for "she thought her knowledge of mankind infallible: she "had got some foolish idea of Madame de Staël's into her "head, that a person may be better known in the first hour "than in ten years. She had the habit of drawing people's "characters after she had seen them once or twice. She " wrote pages on pages about my character, but it was as "unlike as possible. 66 Lady Byron had good ideas, but could never express them; wrote poetry too, but it was only good by accident. "Her letters were always enigmatical, often unintelligible. "She was governed by what she called fixed rules and principles, squared mathematically. She would have made an excellent wrangler at Cambridge. It must be 66 66 "I think that Dante's more abstruse ecstatics "Meant to personify the mathematics. Don Juan, Canto III. Stanza 11. |