to his Habitation with any fuch other Bundle as fhould be delivered to him. UPON this, FANCY began again to beftir her felf, and, parcelling out the whole Heap with incredible Activity, recommended to every one his particular Packet. The Hurry and Confufion at this time was not to be expreffed. Some Obfervations, which I made upon the Occafion, I fhall communicate to the Publick. A venerable greyheaded Man, who had laid down the Cholick, and who I found wanted an Heir to his Eftate, fnatched up an undutiful Son, that had been thrown into the Heap by his angry Father. The graceless Youth, in less than a quarter of an Hour, pulled the old Gentleman by the Beard, and had like to have knocked his Brains out; fo that meeting the true Father, who came towards him in a Fit of the Gripes, he begg'd him to take his Son again, and give him back his Cholick; but they were incapable either of them to recede from the Choice they had made. A poor GallySlave, who had thrown down his Chains took up the Gout in their stead, but made íuch wry Faces, that one might easily perceive he was no great Gainer by the Bargain. It was pleafant enough to fee the feveral Exchanges that were made, for Sickness against Poverty, Hunger againft want of Appetite, and Care against Pain. . THE Female World were very bufie among themfelves in bartering for Features; one was trucking a Lock of grey Hairs for a Carbuncle, another was making over a fhort Waste for a Pair of round Shoulders, and a third cheapning a bad Face for a loft Reputation: But on all thefe Occations, there was not one of them who did not think the new Blemith, as foon as she had got it into her Poffeffion, much more disagreeable than the old one. I made the fame Obfervation on every other Misfortune or Calamity, which every one in the Affembly brought upon himfelf, in lieu of what he had parted with; whether it be that ali the Evils which befall us are in fome Measure fuited and pro B 3 por portioned to our Strength, or that every Evil becomes more fupportable by our being accustomed to it, I fhall not determine. I could not for my Heart forbear pitying the poor hump-back'd Gentleman mentioned in the former Paper, who went off a very well-fhaped Perfon with a Stone in his Bladder; nor the fine Gentleman who had ftruck up this Bargain with him, that limped thro' a whole Affembly of Ladies who used to admire him, with a Pair of Shoulders peeping over his Head. I must not omit my own particular Adventure. My Friend with the long Vifage had no fooner taken upon him my fhort Face, but he made fuch a grotesque Figure in it, that as I looked upon him I could not forbear laughing at my self, infomuch that I put my own Face out of Countenance. The poor Gentleman was fo fenfible of the Ridicule, that I found he was afhamed of what he had done: On the other Side I found that I my self had no great Reason to triumph, for as I went to touch my Forehead I miffed the Place and clapped my Finger upon my upper Lip. Befides, as my Nofe was exceeding Prominent, I gave it two or three unlucky Knocks as I was playing my Hand about my Face, and aiming at fome other Part of it. I faw two other Gentlemen by me, who were in the fame ridiculous Circumftances. Thefe had made a foolish Swop between a Couple of thick bandy Legs, and two long Trapfticks that had no Clafs to them. One of thefe looked like a. Man walking upon Stilts, and was fo lifted up into the Air above his ordinary Height, that his Head turned round with it, while the other made fuch awkward Circles, as he attempted to walk, that he fcarce knew how to move forward upon his new Supporters: Obferving him to be a pleafant Kind of Fellow, I ftuck my Cane in the Ground, and told him I would lay him a Bottle of Wine, that he did not march up to it on a Line, that I drew for him, in a Quarter of an Hour. THE Heap was at last distributed among the two Sexes, who made a most piteous Sight, as they wan dered dered up and down under the Preffure of their feve ral Burthens. The whole Plain was filled with Murmurs and Complaints, Groans and Lamentations. Fupiter at length, taking Compaflion on the poor Mortals, ordered them a fecond time to lay down their Loads, with a Defign to give every one his own again. They difcharged themselves with a great deal of Pleafure, after which, the Phantome, who had led them into fuch grofs Delufions, was commanded to disappear. There was fent in her ftead a Goddess of a quite different Figure: Her Motions were fteady and compofed, and her Afpect ferious but cheerful. She every now and then caft her Eyes towards Heaven, and fixed them upon Jupiter: Her Name was PATIENCE. She had no fooner placed herself by the Mount of Sorrows, but what I thought very remarkable, the whole Heap funk to fuch a Degree, that it did not appear 2 third part fo big as it was before. She afterwards returned every Man his own proper Calamity, and teaching him how to bear it in the most commodious Manner, he marched off with it contentedly, being very well pleafed that he had not been left to his own Choice, as to the Kind of Evils which fell to his Lot. BESIDES the feveral Pieces of Morality to be drawn out of this Vifion, I learnt from it, never to repine at my own Misfortunes, or to envy the Happinefs of another, fince it is impoffible for any Man to form a right Judgment of his Neighbours Sufferings; for which Reafon alfo I have determined never to think too lightly of another's Complaints, but to regard the Sorrows of my Fellow-Creatures with Sentiments of Humanity and Compaffion. E Ov. Met. VERY one has heard of the famous Conjurer, who, according to the Opinion of the Vulgar, has ftudied himself dumb; for which Reason, as it is believed, he delivers out all his Oracles in Writing. Be that as it will, the blind Terefias was not more famous in Greece, than this dumb Artist has been, for fome Years laft paft, in the Cities of London and Westminster. Thus much for the profound Gentleman who honours me with the following E piftle. SIR, From my Cell, June 24, 1714. EING informed that you have lately got the Ufe of your Tongue, I have fome Thoughts of following your Example, that I may be a Fortune-teller properly fpeaking. I am grown weary of my Taciturnity, and having ferved my Country • many Years under the Title of the dumb Doctor, I fhall now prophefie by Word of Mouth, and (as • Mr. Lee fays of the Magpie, who you know was a great Fortune teller among the Ancients) chatter Futurity. I have hitherto chofen to receive Questions and return Answers in Writing, that I might avoid the Tediousness and Trouble of Debates, my Querifts being generally of a Humour to think, that they have never Predictions enough for their Mony. In fhort, Sir, my Cafe has been fomething like that of those difcreet Animals the Monkeys, who, as the • Indians tell us, can speak if they wou'd, but purpofely avo d it that they may not be made to work. I have hitherto gained a Livelihood by holding my Tongue, but fhall now open my Mouth in order to fill it. If I appear a little Word-bound in my first Solu • Solutions and Refponfes, I hope it will not be imputed to any want of Forefight, but to the long Difufe of Speech. I doubt not by this Invention to have all my former Customers over again, for if I have promised any of them Lovers or Husbands, Riches or good Luck, it is my Design to confirm to them viva voce, what I have already given them • under my Hand. If you will honour me with a Vifit, I will compliment you with the first opening of my Mouth, and if you please you may make an entertaining Dialogue out of the Converfation of ⚫ two dumb Men. Excufe this Trouble, worthy Sir, from one who has been a long time Your Silent Admirer, I have received the following Letter, or rather Billet-doux, from a pert young Baggage, who congratulates with me upon the fame Occafion. Dear Mr. Prate-apace, June 23, 1714: IA Am a Member of a Female Society who call our felves the Chit-Chat Club, and am ordered, by the whole Sisterhood, to congratulate you upon the Ufe of your Tongue. We have all of us a mighty Mind to hear you talk, and if you will take your Place among us for an Evening, we have unanimoufly agreed to allow you one Minute in ten, without Interruption. I am, SIR, Your humble Servant, S. T. P. S. You may find us at my Lady Betty Clack's, • who will leave Orders with her Porter, that if an elderly Gentleman, with a fhert Face, enquires for her, • be fhall be admitted and no Questions asked. AS this particular Paper fhall confift wholly of what I have received from my Correfpondents. I B5 fhall |