SNEEZING. AFTER TAKING A PINCH OF SNUFF. What a moment, what a doubt! Wants to sneeze and cannot do it! How with rapturous torment fills me! Now says, "Sneeze, you fool,-get through it." Shee-shee-oh! 'tis most del-ishi Ishi-ishi-most del-ishi! (Hang it, I shall sneeze till spring!) Snuff is a delicious thing. COLUMBIA.-TIMOTHY DWIGHT. Columbia, Columbia to glory arise, The queen of the world, and the child of the skies! Thy reign is the last and the noblest of time; Let the crimes of the east ne'er encrimson thy name; To conquest and slaughter let Europe aspire; Fair science her gates to thy sons shall unbar, Nor less shall thy fair ones to glory ascend, Their sweetness unmingled, their manners refined, Thy fleets to all regions thy power shall display, Each shore to thy glory its tribute unfold, And the east and the south yield their spices and gold. The queen of the world, and the child of the skies." THE SONG OF 1876.-BAYARD TAYLOR. Waken, voice of the land's devotion! Let every tongue be dumb That sounded its malice or murmured its fears; She wears her glory; We crown her the land of a hundred years! Out of darkness and toil and danger Into the light of victory's day. Help to the weak and home to the stranger, Upon her mother-breast; The voices of nations are heard in the cheers New love and honor, And crown her the queen of a hundred years i North and South, we are met as brothers; East and West, we are wedded as one! Right of each shall secure our mother's; For battle has tried thee and time endears; And keep thy glory As pure as of old for a thousand years! THE DAWN OF THE CENTENNIAL. The dawn of peace is breaking! breaking! See the lights and hear the heralds of the century to be! While the whole united people, with a bending heart and knee, Crave a blessing of the Father, and thank Him that they are free. The dawn of peace is breaking! breaking! The nation unto joy is waking! Note the throbbings of its full heart as they daily stronger grow; Forgotten are the old discomforts, and the petty feuds I know Vanish, as we group together of our proudest life-blood flow. The dawn of peace is breaking!"breaking! The nation unto joy is waking! A joy that will be pure, absorbing, untempered by the grief That comes with victories of war, and brings of sorrow with relief, A great outburst of gladness, a country's fully ripened sheaf. The dawn of peace is breaking! breaking! The nation unto joy is waking! Its first hundred years are passing, and to celebrate its birth We extend free invitation all about the lovely earth, That our friends in lavish numbers sit at our Centennial hearth. The dawn of peace is breaking! breaking! The dawn of peace is breaking! breaking! See the lights and hear the heralds of the century to be! While the whole united people, with a bending heart and knee, Crave a blessing of the Father, and thank Him that they are free. The dawn of peace is breaking! breaking! UNCLE REUBEN'S BAPTISM. He is an industrious colored man, living in a small cabin down the river; and his wife is a corpulent, good-natured woman, but very deaf. Some weeks ago, Reuben began to ponder. He had never been a bad darkey; but he had never embraced Christianity, much to the sorrow of Aunt Susan, his wife, who has been prepared for heaven, lo, these many years past. The more he pondered, the more he became convinced that he ought to become a Christian; and Aunt Susan encouraged him with tender words and tearful eyes. The old man came to town several days ago to see about joining a church, and was informed that he would have to be baptized before he could become a member. He didn't relish the idea much; but he informed his wife that he would consent; and she clasped her hands, and replied,- "Glory to Richmond! De angels am a-comin'!" Uncle Reuben got the idea, the other day, that he'd like to try the water alone, before being publicly baptized; and while his wife was getting breakfast ready, he slipped down to the river-bank to take a preparatory dip. He removed his coat, hat, and boots, placed them on a log; and as he descended the bank, his broad feet slipped, and the convert came down on the back of his neck. "What de debbil!"-he commenced, as he picked himself up; but suddenly remembering that he was soon to join the church, he checked himself, and remarked,— "I'm ashamed of dat; and I hope de angels will 'scuse me." He put one foot into the water, and drew back with a shiver; put in the other, and looked longingly toward the house. At that moment Aunt Susan began singing,— "We's gwine up to glory: We's gwine on de cars." And old Reuben braced up, and entered the water. "Yes; we's gwine up to glory!" he remarked as he waded along,-"gwine on de fast express." At the next step, his foot struck a sunken log: and he pitched over it, under water, head first. As soon as he came to the surface, and blew the water from his mouth, he yelled, "Woosh! What in blazes is dis yere performance?" In raising up, his foot slid over the log, and under a limb, in such a manner, that the old darkey was caught fast. He could hang to a stub of a limb, but he could not put himself forward enough to slip his foot out of the trap. "Whar de angels now?" he yelled out, as he kicked the water higher than his head. Aunt Susan answered with, "De angels are a-comin': I hear de music play." When the old man realized that he was fast, and must have help from the shore, he yelled out, "Ho, dare, old woman! Hi!" She couldn't have heard a cannon fire on the bank of the river, and went on singing, "Dare's a seat for me in heaven: 'Hi, dare! I'll jine your old black head off, if hear me!" yelled old Reuben. ye don't He struggled and kicked, got his head under water, and out, and yelled,— "Cuss dat old woman! Why don't she hear me?" came the song. "Uncle Reuben's a-gwine "It' a lie, a big debbil lie!" he yelled, pulling his head under water again. "And he'll fly among de angels, And play upon a harp," continued the old woman, as she turned over the bacon. "De Lawd has got his name, howled the old woman. "Whoa, dare, you old black villum!" yelled Uncle Reuben, "Dey'll dress him up in white, Wid a crown upon his brow," |