Host. Brain o' man,

I shall ha' the worst o' that! will they not throw [carpet, My household-stuff out first, cushions, and Chairs, stools, and bedding? is not their sport my ruin?

Lov. Fear not, mine host, I am not o' the fellowship.

[it; Fer. I cannot see, sir, how you will avoid They know already, all, you are i' the house. Lov. Who know?

Fer. The lords: they ha' seen me, and
enquir'd it.

Loo. Why were you seen?
Fer. Because indeed I had
No med'cine, sir, to go invisible:

No fern-seed in my pocket; nor an opal
Wrapt in bay-leaf i' my left fist,
To charm their eyes with.

Host. He gives you reasons

As round as Gyges' ring: which, say the an

tients,

[hoop. Was a hoop ring; and that is, round as a Lov. You will ha' your rebus still, mine host.

To find a servant here, and such a servant,
Whom she so values; with her best respects,
Desires to be remembred; and invites
Your nobleness to be a part, to-day,
Of the society, and mirth intended [vants.
By her, and the young lords, your fellow-ser-
Who are alike ambitious of enjoying
The fair request; and to that end have sent
Me, their imperfect orator, to obtain it:
Which if I may, they have elected me,
And crown'd me, with the title of a sove-
reign

Of the day's sports devised i' the Inn,
So you be pleas'd to add your suffrage to it.
Lov. So I be pleas'd, my gentle mistress
Prudence?
[tion',

You cannot think me of that coarse condi

And should, with chear, lay hold on any handle

That could advance it. But for me to think,
I can be any rag or particle
[list,
O' your lady's care, more than to fill her
She being the lady that professeth still
To love no soul or body, but for ends,
Which are her sports: and is not nice to
speak this,

But doth proclaim it, in all companies :
Herladyship must pardon my weak counsels,
And weaker will, if I decline t' obey her.

Pru. O master Lovel, you must not give credit

To all that ladies publicly profess,
10 Or talk, o' the voleè, unto their servants.
Their tongues and thoughts oft-times lye far
asunder.
[counsels,

Yet when they please, they have their cabinet-
And reserv'd thoughts, and can retire them-
selves
As well as others.

Host. I, the subtlest of us!
All that is born within a lady's lips-

Pru. Is not the issue of their hearts, mine
host.

Host. Or kiss or drink afore me.

Pru. Stay, excuse me;

Mine errand is not done. Yet, if her ladyship's
Slighting, or dis-esteem, sir, of your service,
Hath formerly begot any distaste,
Which I not know of: here I vow unto you,
Upon a chamber-maid's simplicity,
Reserving, still, the honour of my lady,
I will be bold to hold the glass up to her,
To shew her ladyship where she hath err'd,
And how to tender satisfaction; [venture.
So you vouchsafe to prove, but the day's
Host. What say you, sir? where are you?

are you within?

Lov. Yes, I will wait upon her and the [bring him:

company.

Host. It is enough, queen Prudence; I will And o' this kiss. I long'd to kiss a queen! Lov. There is no life on earth, but being

in love!

There are no studies, no delights, no business,
No entercourse, or trade of sense, or soul,
But what is love! I was the laziest creature,
The most unprofitable sign of nothing,
The veriest drone, and slept away my life
Beyond the dormouse, till I was in love!
And now, I can out-wake the nightingale,
Out-watch an usurer, and out-walk him too,
Stalk like a ghost, that haunted 'bout a
treasure,

And all that phant'sied treasure, it is love.
Host. But is your name Love-ill, sir, or
Love-well?

I would know that.

Lov. I do not know't myself, Whether it is. But it is love hath been

The hereditary passion of our house,

4 D

My gentle host, and, as I guess, my friend;
The truth is, I have lov'd this lady long,
And impotently, with desire enough,
But no success: for I have still forborne
To express it, in my person, to her.
Host. How then?

she guess.

[grams,

Lov. I ha' sent her toys, verses, and anaTrials o' wit, mere trifles she has commended, But knew not whence they came, nor could [wooing! Host. This was a pretty riddling way of Lov. I oft have been, too, in her company; And look'd upon her a whole day; admir'd her; [still, Lov'd her, and did not tell her so; lov'd "Look'd still, and lov'd; and lov'd, and look'd, and sigh'd:"

But, as a man neglected, I came off,
And unregarded-

Host. Could you blame her, sir,
When you were silent, and not said a word?
Lov. O but I lov'd the more; and she
might read it

Best in my silence, had she been--
Host. As melancholic

As you are. Pray you,
stand mute, sir?

why would you

Lov. O thereon hangs a history, mine host. Did you ever know, or hear of the lord Beaufort,

Who serv'd so bravely in France? I was

his page,

And ere he dy'd, his friend: I follow'd him,
First, i' the wars, and, i' the times of peace,
I waited on his studies; which were right.
He had no Arthurs, nor no Rosicleers,
No knights o' the Sun, nor Amadis de Gauls,
Primalions, Pantagruels, public nothings;
Abortives of the tabulous dark cloyster,
Sent out to poison courts and infest manners:
But great Achilles, Agamemnon's acts,
Sage Nestor's counsels, and Ulysses' slights,
Tydides' fortitude, as Homer wrought them
In his immortal phant'sie, for examples
Of the heroic virtue. Or, as Virgil,
That master of the Epic poem, limn'd
Pious Æneas, his religious prince,

Bearing his aged parent on his shoulders, Rapt from the flames of Troy, with his

young son.

[use. And these he brought to practice, and to He gave me first my breeding, I acknowledge, [the Hours", Then shower'd his bounties on me, like That open-handed sit upon the clouds, And press the liberality of heaven Down to the laps of thankful men! but then! The trust cominitted to me at his death, Was above all, and left so strong a tie On all my powers, as time shall not dissolve! Till it dissolve itself, and bury all! The care of his brave heir, and only son! Who being a virtuous, sweet, young, hopeful lord,

Hath cast his first affections on this lady. And though I know, and may presume her such,

As, out of humour, will return no love;
And therefore might indifferently be made
The courting-stock, for all to practise on,
As she doth practise on all us, to scorn.
Yet, out of a religion to my charge,
And debt profess'd, I've made a self-decrce
Ne'er to express my person, though my
passion

Burn me to cinders.

Girt thee hard, Pru. Pox o' this errant taylor, He angers me beyond all mark of patience. These base mechanicks never keep their word,

In any thing they promise.

Pru. 'Tis their trade, madam,

To swear and break, they all grow rich by breaking, [credits, More than their words; their honesties, and Are still the first commodity they put off. Lad. And worst, it seems, which makes 'em do't so often.

If he had but broke with me, I had not car'd But with the company, the body-politick

Pru. Frustrate our whole design, having that time,

And the materials in so long before? [us? Lad. And he to fail in all, and disappoint The rogue deserves a torture—

Pru. To be crop'd

With his own scissars.

Lad. Let's devise him one.

Pru. And ha' the stumps sear'd up with his own searing candle?

Lad. Close to his head, to trundle on his
pillow?
[measures.

I'll ha' the lease of his house cut out into
Pru. And he be strangled with 'em.
Lad. No, no life

[yard

I would ha' toucht, but stretch'd on his own
He should be a little, ha' the strappado!
Pru. Or an ell of taffata
Drawn thro' his guts, by way of glyster, and
With aqua vitæ !

Lad. Burning i' the hand

With the pressing-iron cannot save him.
Pru. Yes,

[fir'd

Now I have got this on: I do forgive him, What robes he should ha' brought.

Lad. Thou art not cruel,
Although strait-lac'd, I see, Pru !
Pru. This is well.

Lad. 'Tis rich enough, but 'tis not what
I meant thee!

I would ha' had thee braver than myself,
And brighter far. 'Twill fit the players yet,
When thou hast done with it, and yield thee
somewhat.

Pru. That were illiberal, madam, and mere sordid

In me, to let a suit of yours come there. Lad. Tut, all are players, and but serve the scene, Pru.

Dispatch: I fear thou dost not like the

province,

Thou art so long a fitting thyself for it. Here is a scarf to make thee a knot finer. Pru. You send me a-feasting, madam. Lad. Wear it, wench.

Pru. Yes, but with leave o' your ladyship, I would tell you, This can but bear the face of an odd journey. Lad. Why, Pru ?

Pru. A lady of your rank and quality, To come to a public inn, so many men, Young lords and others, i' your company

!

Turn'd fool upo' the sudden, and talk idly
I'thy best clothes! shoot bolts and sentences
T'affright babies with! as if I liv'd
To any other scale than what's my own?
Or sought myself, without myself, from
home?
[fault,
Pru. Your ladyship will pardon me my
If I have over-shot, I'll shoot no more.

Lad. Yes shoot again, good Pru, I'll ha’ thee shoot,

And aim, and hit: I know 'tis love in thee, And so I do interpret it.

Pru. Then, madam, I'ld crave a farther leave. Lad. Be it to license,

It sha' not want an ear, Pru. Say, what is it? Pru. A toy I have, to raise a little mirth To the design in hand.

Lad. Out with it, Pru,

If it but chime of mirth.

Pru. Mine host has, madam,

A pretty boy i' the house, a dainty child, His son, and is of your ladyship's name, too Francis,

Whom if your ladyship would borrow of him, And give me leave to dress him as I would, Should make the finest lady and kinswoman, To keep you company, and deceive my lords,

Upo' the matter, with a fountain o' sport. Lad. I apprehend thee, and the source of

Fra. Yes, madam.

Lad. I love mine own the better. Fra. If I knew yours,

[madam.

I should make haste to do so too, good
Lad. It is the same with yours.
Fra. Mine then acknowledgeth
The lustre it receives, by being nam'd after.
Lad. You will win upon me in compliment.
Fra. By silence.

Lad. A modest and fair well-spoken child.
Host. Her ladyship shall have him, sove-
reign Pru,

Or what I have beside; divide my Heart Between you and your lady. Make your use of it: [hold,

My house is yours, my son is yours. BeI tender him to your service; Frank, be[Only this, What these brave ladies would ha' you. There is a chare-woman i' the house, his

come

nurse,

An Irish-woman, I took in a beggar,
That waits upon him, a poor, silly fool,
But an impertinent and sedulous one
As ever was; will vex you on all occasions,
Never be off, or from you, but in her sleep;
Or drink which makes it; she doth love

him so, [shape, Or rather doat on him. Now, for her, a And we may dress her (and I'll help) to fit her

With a tuft-taffata cloke, an old French hood, And other pieces, heterogene enough.

Pru. We ha' brought a standard of appa

rel down,

Lad. A miracle!

Pru. Good madam,

But take him in, and sort a suit for him.
I'll give our Trundle his instructions;
And wait upon your ladyship i' the instant.
Lad. But Pru, what shall we call him,
when we ha' drest him?

Pru. My lady No-body, any thing, what you will.

Lad. Call him Lætitia, by my sister's name, And so 'twill mind our mirth too we have in hand'.

SCENE III.

Prudence, Trundle.

Pru. Good Trundle, you must straight make ready the coach,

And lead the horses out but half a mile, Into the fields, whither you will, and then Drive in again with the coach-leaves put

down,

At the back gate, and so to the back stairs,
As if you brought in somebody to my lady,
A kinswoman that she sent for. Make that
answer,

If you be ask'd; and give it outi' the house so.
Tru. What trick is this, good mistress
Secretary,
You'ld put upon us?

Pru. Us? do you speak plural ?
Tru. Me and my mares are us.
Pru. If you so join 'em,

Elegant Trundle, you may use your figures:
I can but urge, it is my lady's service.
Tru. Good mistress Prudence, you can
urge enough;

I know you are secretary to my lady,
And mistress steward.

Pru. You'll still be trundling,

And ha' your wages stopt, now at the audit. Tru. Tis true, you're gentlewoman o' the

horse too;

Or what you will beside, Pru. I do think it My best t' obey you.

Pru. And I think so too, Trundle.

SCENE IV.

Beaufort, Latimer, Host.

Bea. Why, here's return enough of both our ventures,

If we do make no more discovery.
Lat. What?

Then o' this parasite ?

Bea. O, he's a dainty one, The parasite o' the house.

Lat. Here comes mine host.

Host. My lords, you both are welcome to the Heart.

Bea. To the Light-Heart, we hope.
Lat. And merry, I swear.