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Why, what's four days ? Ilad you a sister, sir, Per. 'Tis well then.
A niece, or mistress, that required this courtesy, Estif. Go handsome off, and leave the house
And should I make a scruple to do you good?'

clear. Per. If easily it would come back.

Per. Well. Estif. I swear, sir, as easily as it came on. Estif. That little stuff we'll use shall follow Is't not pity To let such a gentlewoman for a little help. And a boy to guide ye. Peace, and we are made You give away no house.

both. Per. Clear but that question.

Mar. Come, let's go in. · Are all the rooms Estif. I'll put the writings into your hand. kept sweet, wench? Per. Well then.

Estif. They're sweet and neat. (Exit Perez. Estif. And you shall keep them safe.

Mar. Why, where's your

husband? Per. I'm satisfied. Would I had the wench Estif. Gone, madam. too!

When you come to your own, he must give place, Estif. When she has married him,

lady. So infinite his love is linked unto her,

Mar. Well, send you joy; you would not let You, I, or any one that helps at this pinch,

me know it, May have-Heaven knows what.

Yet I shall not forget ye. Per. I'll remove my trunks straight,

Estif. Thank your ladyship. And take some poor house by; 'tis but four days. Mar. Come, lead me,

[Ereunt. Estif. I have a poor friend; there we will be.


SCENE 1.-A Chamber.

And handsome servants at my will. Where's

my good husband? Enter MARGARITTA and ALTEA.

Where does he wait? Alt. Are you at ease now? Is your heart at Alt. He knows his distance, madam. rest,

I warrant ye he is busy in the cellar Now

you have got a shadow, an umbrella, Among his fellow-servants, or asleep, To keep the scorching world's opinion

Till your commands awake him.
From your fair credit?
Mar. I am at peace, Altea.

Enter Leon and Lorenzo.
If he continue but the same he shews,

Mar. 'Tis well, Altea ; And be a master of that ignorance

It should be so; my ward I must preserve him. He outwardly professes, I am happy.

Who sent for him? How dare he come uncalled Alt. You're a made woman.

for? Mar. But if he should prove now

His bonnet on too!
A crafty and dissembling kind of husband,

Alt. Sure he sees you not.
One read in knavery, and brought up in the art Mar. How scornfully he looks !
Of villainy concealed ?

Leon. Are all the chambers
Alt. My life, an innocent.

Decked and adorned thus for my lady's pleaMar. That's it I ann at.

sure? That's it I hope too, then I'm sure I rule Irim : New hangings every hour for entertainment? For innocents are like obedient children, And new plate bought, new jewels to give lustre? Brought up under a hard mother-in-law, a cruel, Ser. They are, and yet there must be more Who, being not used to breakfasts and colla- and richer; tions,

It is her will. When they have coarse bread offered, are thank- Leon. Hurn, is it so? 'Tis excellent. ful,

Is it her will, too, to have feasts and banquets, And take it for a favour too.

Revels and masques ? Are the rooms made ready

Ser. She ever loved them dearly; To entertain my friends ? I long to dance now. And we shall have the bravest house kept now, Let me have a song. Is the great couch up

sir. The duke of Medina sent?

I must not call ye master; she has warned me; Alt. Your house is nothing now but various Nor must not put my hat off to you. pleasures.

Leon. 'Tis nos fashion, The gallants begin to gaze too.

What though I be her husband, I'm your fellow; Mar. Let them gaze on,

I may cut first?
I was brought up a courtier, high and happy; Ser. That's as you shall deserve, sir,
And company is my delight, and courtship, Leon. I thank you, sir.


Enter a Lady.

And bills nailed up with horns before your doors,

To rent out wantonness. 1 Lady. Madam, the duke Medina, with some Mar. Do you hear him talk? captains,

Leon. I've done, madam : Will come to dinner, and have sent rare wine, An ox once spoke, as learned men deliver ; And their best services.

Shortly I shall be such, then I'll speak wonders. Mar. They shall be welcome.

'Till when I tie myself to my obedience. (Erit. See all be ready in the noblest fashion.

Mar. First I'll untie niyself. Did you mark Go, get your best clothes on; but, till I call ye, the gentleman, Be sure you be not seen. Dine with the gentle- How boldly and how saucily he talked, women,

And how unlike the lump I took him for ! And behave yourself handsomely, sir; 'tis for my The piece of ignorant dough! he stood up to me, credit.

And rated my commands.

This was your providence,
Enter a second Lady.

Your wisdom, to elect this gentleman, 2 Lady. Madam, the lady Julia

Your excellent forecast in the man, your knowLéon. That's a bawd;

ledge! A three-piled bawd; bawd major to the army. What think

ye 2 Lady. Has brought her coach to wait upon All. I think him an ass still. your ladyship,

This boldness, some of your people have blown And to be inforined if you will take the air this into him, morning.

This wisdom too, with strong wine; 'tis a tyrant, Lcon. The neat air of her nunnery.

And a philosopher also, and finds out reasons. Mar. Tell her no; i' the afternoon Ill call on Mar. I'll have my cellar locked, no school kept her.

there, 2 Lady. I will, madam,

(Erit. Nor no discovery. I'll turn my drunkards, Leon. Faith, madain, in my little understand- Such as are understanding in their draughts, ing,

And dispute learnedly the whys and wherefores, You'd better entertain your honest neighbours, To grass immediately: I'll keep all fools ; Your friends about ye, that may speak well of Sober or drunk, still fools that shall know noye,

thing. And give a worthy mention of your bounty. Nothing belongs to mankind but obedience, Mar. How now, what's this?

And such a hand I'll keep over this husband. Leon. 'Tis only to persuade ye

Alt. He'll fall again : iny life, he cries by this Courtiers are tickle things to deal withal,

tiine : A kind of march-pane men that will not last, Keep him from drink; he's a high constitution. madam;

Enter Leon. An egg and pepper goes farther than their portions;

Leon. Shall I wear my new suit, madam? And in a well-knit body, a poor parsnip

Mur. No, your old clothes.
Will play his prize above their strong potables. And get you into the country presently,
Mar. The fellow's mad !

And see my hawks well trained: you shall have Leon. He, that shall counsel ladies,

victuals, That have both liquorish and ambitious eyes, Such as are fit for saucy palates, sir, Is either mad or drunk, let him speak gospel, And lodgings with the hinds; it is too good too. Alt. Jle breaks out modestly.

Leon. Good madam, be not so rough with reLeon. Pray ye be not angry;

pentance ! My indiscretion has made bold to tell ye

Alt. You see how he's come round again. What you'll find true.

Mar. I see not what I expect to see. Mar. Thou dar'st not talk?

Leon, You shall see, madam, if it please your Leon. Not much, inadam;

ladyship. You have a tie upon your servant's tongue;

Alt. He's humbled ; lle dare not be so bold as reason bids hiin; Forgive, good lady. Twere fit there were a stronger on your temper.

Mar. Well, go, get you handsome,
Ne'er look so stern upon me! I'm your husband: And let me hear no more.
But what are husbands? Read the New World's Leon. Have ye yet no feeling ?

I'll pinch you to the bones then, my proud lady. Such husbands as this monstrous world produces,

[Erit. And you will scarce find such strange deforsnities; Mar. See you preserve him thus, upon my faThey're shadows to conceal your venal virtues ; Sails to your mills, that grind with all occasions; You know his temper, tie him to the grindstone; Balls that lie by you, to wash out your stains ; The next rebellion I'll be rid of him,



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I'll have no needy rascals I tie to me

Let's have our house again immediately; Dispute my life. Come in, and see all hand- And pray ye take hecd unto the furniture,

None be embezzled. Alt. I hope to see you so too, I've wrought ill Estif. Not a pin, I warrant ye. else,

[Ereunt. Per. And let them in-tantly depart.

Estif. They shall both; there's reason in all SCENE II. - An ordinary apartment.

courtesy ;

For by this time I know she has acquainted him,
Enter PEREZ.

And has provided too : she sent me word, sir,
Per. Shall I

And will give over gratefully unto you.
Never return to mine own house again?

Per. I will walk in the church-yard ;
We're lodged here in the miserablest dog-hole! The dead cannot offend more than these living.
A conjuror's circle gives content above it;

An hour hence I'll expect ye.
A hawk's mew is a princely palace to it:

Estif. I'll not fail, sir. We have a hed no bigger than a basket,

Per. And do you hear? let's have a handsomne
And we lie like butter clapt together,

And sweat ourselves to sauce immediately; And see all things be decent as they have been;
The fumes are infinite, that inhabit here too, And let me have a strong bath to restore me;
And to that so thick they cut like marmalade ; I stink like a stale fish-shambles, or an oil-shop.
So various too, they'll pose a gold finder.

Estif. You shall have all, which some inter-
Never return to mine own paradise

pret nothing.

[Aside. Why, wife, I say; why, Estitania!

I'll send ye people for the trunks afore-hand. Estif. [within. I'm going presently.

Per. Let them be known and honest;
Per. Make haste, good jewel.

And do my service to your niece.
I'm like the people that live in the sweet islands: Estif. I shall, sir :
I die, I die, if I stay but one day more here. But if I come not at my hour, come thither,
My lungs are rotten with the damps that rise, That they may give you thanks for your fair cour-
And I cough nothing now but stinks of all sorts.

The inhabitants we have are two starved rats, And pray you, be brave for my sake.
(For they're not able to maintain a cat here,)

Per. I observe ye.

And those appear as fearful as two devils;
They've eat a map o' the whole world up already,

SCENE III.- A street,
And if we stay a night, we're gone for company. | Enter Juan de Castro, Sancuio, and Caca-
There's an old woman, that's now grown to mar-

FOGO. Dried in this brick-kiln, and she sits i' the chim- San. Thou’rt very brave. ncy,

Caca. I've reason, I have money. Which is but three tiles raised, like a house of San. Is money reason? cards,

Caca. Yes, and rhyme too, captain.
The true proportion of an old smoaked Sybil. If you've no money, you're an ass.
There is a young thing too, that nature mcant

San. I thank ye.
For a maid servant, but 'tis now a monster; Caca. Ye've manners; ever thank him, that has
She has a husk about her like a chesnut,

With laziness, and living under the line here; San. Wilt thou lend me any?
And these two makes a hollow sound together, Caca. Not a farthing, captain :
Like frogs, or winds between two doors, that Captains are casual things.

Sun. Why so are all men. Thou shalt have

Caca. Not bonds, nor fetters, captain.
Mercy deliver me. Oh, are you come, wife; My money is my own, I make no doubt on't.
Shall we be free again?

Juan. What dost thou do with it?
Estif. I am now going,

Caca. Put it to pious uses.
And you shall, presently, to your own house, sir : Buy wine and wenches, and undo young cox-
The remembrance of this small vexation

combs Will be argument of mirth for ever.

That would undo me.
By that tiine you have said your orisons,

Juan. Are those hospitals?
And broke your fast, I shall be back, and ready Caca. I first provide to fill iny hospitals
To usher you to your old content, your freedom. With creatures of mine own, that I know wretch-
Per. Break my fast! break my neck rather.

ed, Is there any thing here to eat

And then I build : those are more bound to pray
But one another, like a race of cannibals ?
A piece of buttered wall you think is excellent. Besides, I keep the inheritance in my name still.

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my bond.

for me :

Juan. A provident charity. Are you for the Old Wom. Ha! What would ye have? wars, sir?

Per. My goods again. How came my trunks Caca. I am not poor enough to be a soldier,

all open? Nor have I faith enough to ward a bullet;

Old Wom. Are your trunks all open? There is no lining for a trench, I take it.

Per. Yes, and clothes

gone, Juan. Ye have said wisely.

And chains and jewels. How she smells like Caca. Had you but my money,

hung beef, You'd swear it, colonel. I had rather drill at The palsy, and pick-locks ! Fye, how she belches home

The spirit of garlic ! A hundred thousand crowns, and with more ho- Old Wom. Where's your gentlewoman? nour,

The young fair woman? Than exercise ten thousand fools with nothing. Per. What's that to my question? A wise man safely feeds, fools cut their fingers. She is my wife, and gone about my business. San. A right state usurer. Why dost not Maid. Is she your wife, sir? marry,

Per. Yes, sir : is that a wonder? And live a reverend justice?

Is the name of wife unknown here? Caca. Is it not nobler to command a reverend Old Wom. Is she duly and truly your wife? justice, than to be one?

Per. Duly and truly my wife! I think so, And for a wife, what need I marry, captain, For I married her. It was no vision, sure! When every courteous fool, that owes me money, Maid. She has the keys, sir. Owes me his wife ton, to appease my fury? Per. I know she has; but who has all my Juan. Wilt thou go to dinner with us?

goods, spirit? Caca. I will go, and view the pearl of Spain, Old Wom. If you be married to that gentlethe orient

woman, Fair one, the rich one too; and I will be respec- | You are a wretched man: she has twenty husted.

I bear my patent here; I will talk to her; Maid. She tells you true.
And when your captainships shall stand aloof, Old Wom. And she has cozened all, sir.
And pick your noses, I will pick the purse

Per. The devil she has ! I had a fair house Of her affection.

with her, Juan. The duke dines there to-day too, the That stands hard by, and furnished royally. duke of Medina.

Old Wom. You're cozened too; 'tis none of Caca. Let the king dine there !

her's, good gentleinan, He owes me money, and so far's my creature, It is a lady's. And certainly I may make bold with mine own, Maid. The lady Margaritta; she was her sercaptain.

vant, San. Thou wilt eat monstrously.

And kept the house ; but going from her, sir, Caca. Like a true born Spaniard :

For some lewd tricks she played.
Eat as I were in England, where the beef grows: Per. Plague o' the devil!
And I will drink abundantly, and then ·

Am I, in the full meridian of my wisdom,
Talk ye as wantonly as Ovid did,

Cheated by a stale quean! What kind of lady To stir the intellectuals of the ladies;

Is that that owns the house?
I learnt it of my father's amorous scrivener. Old Wom. A young sweet lady.
Juan. If we should play now, you must sup-

Per. Of low stature ?
ply me.

Old Wom. She's indeed but little, but she's Caca. You must pawn a horse troop,

wondrous fair. And then have at ye, colonel.

Per. I feel I'm cozened :
San. Come, let's go.

Now I am sensible I am undone.
This rascal will make rare sport. How the ladies This is the very woman sure, that cousin,
Will laugh at him!

She told me would entreat but for four days Juan. If I light on him, I'll make his purse To make the house hers—I am entreated sweetly. sweat too.

Maid. When she went out this morning, I saw, Caca. Will ye lead, gentlemen? [Ereunt. sir,

She had two women at the door attending, SCENE IV.-An ordinary apartment, And there she gave them things, and loaded

them : Enter Perez, Old Woman, and Maid. But what they were- -I heard your trunks too Per. Nay, pray ye come out, and let me un


If they be yours.
And tune your pipe a little higher, lady;

Per. They were mine while they were laden; I'll hold ye fast. How came my trunks open, But now they've cast their calves, they're not And my goods gone? What pick-lock spirit

worth owning


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Was she her mistress, say you?

I love a house, where pleasure prepares welOld W’om. Her own inistress, her very mistress, sir; and all you saw

Duke. Now, Cacafogo, how like you this manAbout and in that house was hers.

sion? Per. No plate, no jewels, nor no hangings? 'Twere a brave pawn. Dlaid. Not a farthing; she's poor, sir, a poor

Caca. I shall be master of it; shifting thing.

'Twas built for my bulk, the rooms are wide and Per. No money?

Old Wom. Abominable poor, as poor as we are, Airy, and full of ease, and that I love well.
Money as rare to ber, unless she steal it. I'll tell you, when I taste the wine, my lord,
But for one single gown her lady gave her, And take the height of her table with my sto-
She might go bare, good gentlewoman.

mach, Per. I'm mad now:

Hlow my affection stands to the young lady.
I think I am as poor as she, I'm wild else.
One single suit I have left too, and that's all,

Enter MARGARITTA, ALTEA, Ladies, and
And if she steals that she must Aay me for it.

Servant. Where does she use?

Alar. All welcome to your grace, and to these Old Wom. You may find the truth as soon.

soldiers ! Alas, a thousand concealed corners, sir, she lurks You honour my poor house with your



sence; And here she gets a deece, and there another, Those few slight pleasures, that inhabit here, sir, And lives in mists and smokes where none can I do beseech your grace command; they're yours; find her.

Your servant but preserves them to delight ye. Per. Is she a whore too ?

Duke. I thank ye, lady. I am bold to visit ye, Old Wom. Little better, gentleman :

Once more to bless mine eyes with your sweet I dare not say she is so, sir, because

beauty. She's

yours, sir: these five years she has firked It has been a long night, since you left the court, A pretty living.

For, till I saw you now, no day broke to me. Per. She has firked me finely.

Mar, Bring in the duke's meat. A whore and thief; two excellent moral learn- San. She's most excellent. ings

Juan. Most admirable fair, as e'er I looked on; In one she saint. I hope to see her legend.

I rather would command her than my regiment.
Have I been feared for my discoveries,

Caca. I'll have a fling; 'tis but a thousand du-
And been courted by all women to conceal them; cats,
Have I so long studied the art of this sex,

Which I can cozen up in ten days.
And read the warning to young gentlemen;

Enter Leon.
Have I professed to tame the pride of ladies,
And make them bear all tests; and am I tricked Mar. Why, where's this dinner?

Leon. Tis not ready, madam,
Caught in my own noose? Here's a rial left yet; Nor sball.it be, until I know the guests too,
There's for your lodging, and your meat for a Nor are they fairly welcome till I bid them.

Juan. Is not this my Alferes? he looks another
A silk-worm lives at a more plentiful ordinary,

thing; And sleeps in a sweeter box.

Are miracles a-foot again? Farewell, great grandmother;

Mar. Why, sirrah; why, sirrah, you! If I do find you were an accessary,

Leon. I hear you, saucy woman; 'Tis but the cutting off two smoaking minutes ! And, as you are my wife, command your abI'll hang ye presently,

sence, Old Wom. And I deserve it-I tell you truth, And know your duty; 'tis the crown of muodesty. Per. Not I, I am an ass, mother.

Duke. Your wife! Old Wom. O the rogue, the villain! Is this Leon. Yes, good my lord, I am her husband, usage for the fair sex.

[Exeunt. And, pray, take notice, that I claim that honour,

And will maintain it.
SCENE V.-A grand apartment.

Caca. If thou be'st her husband,

I am determined thou shalt be my cuckold;
Enter the DUKE OF MEDINA, JUAN DE Castro, I'll be thy faithful friend.
Alonzo, Saxcuro, CACAFOGO, and Attendants.

Leon. Peace, dirt and 'dunghill !
Duke. A goodly house.

I will not lose my anger on a rascal.
Juan. And richly furnished too, sir.

Provoke me more, I'll beat thy blown-up body,
Alon. Hung wantonly; I like that preparation; Till thou rebound'st again like a tennis-ball.
It stirs the blood into a hopeful banquet,

Caca. I'll talk with you another time. [Erit,
And intimates the mistress free and jovial ; Alon, This is miraculous !


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