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My damages I did but counterfeit,

He swears he'll have admittance to my lady, And feigned the quarrel to enjoy you, lady. And reels about, and clamours most outrageI am as lusty, and as full of health,

ously. As high in blood

Leon. Let him come up wife, here's another Mar. As low in blood, you mean:

suitor, Dishonest thoughts debase the greatest birth; We forgot; he has been sighing in the cellar, The man, that acts unworthily, though ennobled, Making my casks his mistresses. Sullies his honour.

Will your grace permit us to produce a rival? Duke. Nay, nay, my Margaritta;

Duke. No more on that theme, I request, don Come to my couch, and there let's lisp love's lan- Leon. guage.

Leon. Here comes the porpus; he's devilish Mar. Would you take that, which I've no right drunk. to give?

Let me stand by.
Steal wedlock's property; and, in his house,
Beneath the roof of him, that entertains yoy,

Enter CACAFOGO drunk.
Would you bis wife betray? Will you become
The ungrateful viper, who, restored to life, Caca. Where is my bona roba? Oh, you're all
Venomed the breast, which saved him?

here. Why, I dont fear snap dragons--impotenDuke. Leave these dull thoughts to mortifying tial, powerfully potioned-I can drink with Hecpenance ;

tor, and beat him, too. Then, what care I for Let us, while love is lusty, prove its power. captains! I'm full of Greek wine; the true, anMar. Ill wishes, once, my lord, my mind de tient courage. Sweet Mrs Margaritta, let me based :

kiss thee-your Lisses shall pay me for his kickYou found my weakness, wanted to ensnare it: ing. Shameful I own my fault, but 'tis repented.

Leon. What would you?
No inore the wanton Margaritta now,

Caca. Sir !
But the chaste wife of Leon. Ilis great merit, Leon. Lead off the wretch.
His manly tenderness, his noble nature,

Duke. Most filthy figure, truly.
Commands from me affection in return,

Caca. Filthy! Oh, you're a prince; yet I can Pure as esteem can offer. lle has won me; buy all of you, your wives and all. I owe him all my heart.

Juan. Sleep, and be silent. Duke. Indeed, fair lady,

Caca. Speak you to your creditors, good capThis jesting well becoines a sprightly beauty.

tain half-pay; Love prompts to celebrate sublimer rights. I'll not take thy pawn in. No more memento's; let me press you to me, Leon. Which of the butts is thy mistress ? And stifle with my kisses

Caca. Butt in thy belly. Mar. Nay, then, within, there !

Leon. There are two in thine, I'm sure, it is

grown so monstrous, Enter Leox, JUAN, Alonzo, and Saxchio.

Caca. Butt in thy face. Leon. Did you call, my wife? or you, my Leon. Go, carry him to sleep; [Erit Caça. lord?

When he is sober, let him out to rail,
Was it your grace that wanted me? No answer! Or hang himself; there will be no loss of him.
How do you, my good lord? What, out of bed!

Enter Perez and EstIFANIA.
Methinks you look but poorly on this matter.
Has my wife wounded you? You were well be- Who's this? my Mahound cousin ?

Per. Good sir, 'tis very good : would I had a Duke. More hurt than ever; spare your re

house, too, proach;

For there's no talking in the open air. I feel too much already.

You have a pretty seat, you have the luck on't, Leon. I see it, sir--and now your grace shall A pretty lady, too, I have missed both; know,

My carpenter built in a mist, I thank him. I can as readily pardon as revenge.

Do me the courtesy to let me see it, Be comforted; all is forgotten.

See it once more.

But I shall cry for anger. Duke. I thank you, sir.

I'll bire a chandler's shop close under ye, Leon. Wife, you are a right one;

And, for my foolery, sell soap and whip-cord. And now, with unknown nations, I dare trust ye. Nay, if you do not laugh now, and laugh hearJuan. No more feigned fights, my lord; they tily, never prosper.

You are a fool, cəz.

Leon. I must laugh a little;

And now I've done. Coz, thou shalt live with Lor. Please you, sir,

me, Ve cannot keep this gross fat man in order : My merry coz; the world shall not divorce us: Vol. II.



Thou art a valiant man, and thou shalt never I have two ties, mine own blood, and my mistress.

Mar. Is she your sister? Will this content thee?

Leon. Yes, indeed, good wife, Per. I'll cry, and then be thankful;

And my best sister; for she proved so, wench, Indeed I will, and I'll be honest to ye;

When she deceived you with a loving husband. I'd live a swallow here, I must confess,

Alt. I would not deal so, truly, for a stranger. Wife, I forgive thee all

, if thou be honest, Mar. Well, I could chide ye, but it must be And, at thy peril, I believe thee excellent.

lovingly, Estif. If I prove otherwise, let me beg first. And like a sister. Mar. Hold, this is yours, some recompense I'll bring you on your way, and feast ye nobly, for service;

For now I have an honest heart to love ye, Use it to nobler ends than he, that gave

it. And then deliver you to the blue Neptune. Duke. And this is yours, your true commis- Juan. Your colours you must wear, and wear sion, sir.

them proudly, Now you're a captain.

Wear them before the bullet, and in blood, too. Leon. You're a noble prince, sir ;

And all the world shall know we're virtue's serAnd now a soldier.

vants. Juan. Sir, I shall wait upon you through all Duke. And all the world shall know, a noble fortunes.

mind Alon. And I.

Makes women beautiful, and envy blind. Alt. And I must needs attend my mistress. Leon. All you who mean to lead a happy life, Leon. Will you go, sister?

First learn to rule, and then to have a wife. Alt. Yes, indeed, good brother,

(Efeunt omnes.

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SCENE I.-Manly's lodgings.

my honour, I never atteinpted to abuse, or lessen Marly enters in a morning gown, followed by

any one in my life.

Man. What! you were afraid !

L. Plau. No; but seriously I hate to do a rude Man. Pray, my lord, pray, my lord Plausible, thing.–No, faith, I speak well of all mankind. give me leave! I have more of the mastiff than Man. I thought so; but know, that is the worst the spaniel in my nature; I own it; besides, I am sort of detraction, for it takes away the reputatoo old now to learn to play tricks: I cannot tion of the few good men in the world, by making fawn, and fetch and carry; neither will I ever all alike.—Now I speak ill of most men, because practise that servile complaisance, which some they deserve it. people pique themselves on being masters of. L. Plau. Well, tell not me, my dear friend,

L. Pluu. Well, but seriously, my dear friend, what people deserve; I, like an author in a dethis is being singular; will you declare war a- dication, never speak well of a man for his sake, gainst general custom; refuse to subscribe to the but my own: I will not disparage any one, to cominon forms of good breeding ?

disparage myself: to speak ill of people behind Man. Forms indeed, my lord; they are mere their backs is not pretty, and to speak ill of them forms, and therefore shall not sway me. In short, to their faces, would be the most inonstrous thing I will not, as your subscribers to forms do, whis) in nature. per my contempt or hatred; call a man a fool, or Man. So that, if you was to say an unhandknave, by signs, or mouths over his shoulder, some thing of any of your friends, I suppose you while I have him in my arins.--I will not do as

would chuse to do it bebind their backs,

L. Pluu. Oh certainly, certainly; I would do L. Plau. As I do !-Heaven defend me! upon l it behind their backs out of pure good manners.

you do.

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Man. Very well, my lord : I have not leisure Enter MANLY and FREEMAN. at present to examine into the propriety of your decoruins: I confess, I am but an unpolished sea- Free. But how the devil could you turn a man fellow. But there is a favour, which, if your of his quality down stairs? You use a lord with lordship would grant me

very little ceremony it seems. L. Plau. A favour, dear sir! you make me Man. A lord! What, you are one of those, the happiest man in the world; pray let me know who esteem men only by the value and marks, how I have it in my power to serve you.

which fortune hath set upon them, and never conMan. No otherwise, my lord, than by leaving sider intrinsic worth! but counterfeit honours will me a little to myself; ai present, I am really un- not be current with me; I weigh the man, not his fit for company,

title: it is not the king's inscription can make the L. Plau. Perhaps you have business.

metal better or heavier. Your lord is a leaden Man. If you have any, I would not detain your shilling, which you bend every way, and debases lordship

the stamp he bears, instead of being raised by it L. Plau. Detain me! dear sir, I came on pur

--And you, rascal, blockhead ! did'nt I order you pose to pay my respects to you: I heard of your to deny me to every body? arrival in town last night, and could not be easy. Oak. Yes, your honour; and so I would, but But be free with me ; if my company is in the I was just stepped into the back-parlour to play least disagreeable or inconvenient

a game at all-fours with our landlady's daughter; Van. I have told your lordship, already, I had and, while we were wrangling about the cards, rather be alone.

the little boy let the gentleman up, unknown to L. Plau. I will lay hold then of some other op- us. portunity of paying my most humble respects to Msan. Well, be more careful for the future : you; and in the mean time

stand at the stair-foot, and, at your peril, keep

all that ask for me froin coining up.
Enter OAKU.

Oak. Must no one come up to you, sir?
Man. Oakum.! wait on his lordship down.. Man. No man, sir.
L. Plau. Sir, I am your most obedient.

Oak. A woman, an't like your honour?
Man. Good-bye to your lordship.

Mun. No woman, neither, you impertinent L. Plau. Your most faithful.

rascal. Man. Your servant, your servant.

Oak. Indeed, your honour, it will be hard for L. Plau. And eternally

me to deny a woman any thing, since we are so Man. And eternal cerer

newly come on shore : but I'll let no old woman
L. Plau. You shall use no ceremony, by my life! come up to you.
Man. I do not intend it.

Man. Would you be witty ?-You become a
L. Plau. Where are you going then? jest as ill as you do a horse-Begone.
Mun. Zounds! to see you out of doors, that I

[Erit OAKUM. may shut thein against more welcomes.

Free. Nay, let the poor rogue have his fore[Ereunt Manly and LORD PLAUSIBLE. castle jests: a sailor cannot help them in a storin, Oak. Well said, bully-tar! lle came alongside scarce when a ship’s sinking But what, will you of his match, when he grappled with you, I can see nobody? not your friends? tell him that. Zounds, he makes no more of one Man. Friends! I have only one friend, and of these fresh-water sparks, than a three-decker he, I hear, is not in town: nay, can have only would of a bomb-boat! But he's as brave a heart one; for a true heart admits but of one friendas ever stept between stem and stern; and so's a ship, as of one love. But in having found that sign, by his sinking our fine vessel the other day, friend, I have a thousand; for he has the corrather than let her fall into the hands of the ras- rage of men in despair, yet the caution and difcally French, when he found three or four offidence of cowards'; secrecy of the revengeful, their piccaroons at once were too many for us. and the constancy of martyrs; one fit to advise, Let me see-Tis just six weeks since we sailed to keep a secret, to fight, to die for his friend out of Portsmouth harbour, and we had scarce But words are but weak testimonies of his merit, been a month on our cruize, before we fell in and my esteem: I have trusted him, in my abwith-the enemy's squadron-Ah! we have made sence, with the care of the woman I love; which a base, broken, short voyage of it-How somever, is a charge of so tender, so delicate a naturehe soon expects to be put into commission again, Free. Well, but all your good thoughts are not and I would go with him about the round world, for him alone, I hope! Pray, what do you think if so be it was his destination; for, thof he's as of me for a friend ?" crusty as any one sometimes, and will be obey'd, Man. Of you ! Why you are a latitudinarian there's never a captain in the navy, that's a truer in friendship; that is, no friend; you will side friend to a seamnan— Avast though! He steers with all mankind, but suffer for none; you are, this way, in company of our merry licutenant: 'tis indeed, like your lord Plausible, the pink of courfoul weather, I doubt; I'll loof up, and get to tesy, and therefore have no friendship. windward of him.

(Retires. Frce. No! that's very odd doctrine, indeed.

remony !

Man. Look you, I am so much your friend, Man. Nay, hold there, sir; did not I see you, that I would not deceive you; and therefore must during the engagement, more afraid tell you, not only because my heart is taken up, Fide. Yet, do me justice, sir : when we took but according to your rules of friendship, I can- to our long-boat, on your giving orders to sink not be your friend.

the ship, did I shew any signs of dread or weariFree. Why, pray?

ness; though the waves broke over us on every Man. Because


will say, he, that is a true side, and the night was so dark ? friend to a man, is a friend to all his friends; Man. Ay, ay, you were in haste to get to but you must excuse me; I cannot wish well to land : the apprehension of death made you ina pack of coxcombs, sharpers, and scoundrels, sensible of danger, and so you were valiant out of whom I have seen you treat, I know not how fear. often, as the dearest friends in the world.

Fide. Well, sir, 'tis in vain for me to avow my Free. What, I suppose you have observed me sentiinents, since you are determined not to bein the park, and at the coffee-house, doing the lieve me; but one day or other, perhapsbusiness of the several places! But could you Free. Poor lad! you bring tears into his eyes: really think I was a friend to all those I bowed consider his youth and inexperience, and make to, shook hands with, and received in open arms? some allowances. Man. You told them you were; nay, and Man. What, does he cry?

-No more, you milkswore it, too; I heard you.

sop!, Dry your eyes : I will never make you Free. Ay, but, when their backs were turned, afraid again; for of all men, if I had occasion, did not I tell you the greater part of them were you should not be my second ; and when I return wretched, infamous fellows, whom I despised to seaand hated ?

Fide. You will not leave me behind ? Man. Very true ; but what right had I to be- Man. Leave you behind! Ay, ay; you are a lieve you spoke your heart to me, who professed hopeful youth for the shore only; you have a deceiving so many?

smock-face, and an officious readiness about you: · Free. Nay, if you are such a precise adherer you may get yourself recoinmended to some great to matter of fact, it is in vain to argue with you; man by flattering his valet-de-chambre; or, who yet, surely, you would not have every man wear knows, some liquorish old woman, or wanton bis opinion upon his sleeve, and find fault and young one, may take a fancy to you, allow you a quarrel with all, that he cannot in his conscience conditional annuity, and make your fortune that approve?

way. Man. I would have every man speak truth, Fide. Sure, sir, you are industrious to find yourand neither act the part of a sycophant or a cow- self reasons for an aversion to me: do you think, ard.

then, I am capable of being the despicable wretch, Pree. Yet, pray, sir, believe the friendship I you describe? offer you real, whatever I have professed to Man. Why, don't I know you to be a coward, others-Try me at least.

sir ; a wretch capable of any thing? Mun. Why, what would you do for me? How- Fide. Yet consider, sir; do not turn me off to ever, spare yourself the trouble of professing; beggary and ruin : when I came to you, I told for, go as far as you will —here comes one will you I was helpless and friendless. say as much at least

Man. Very well, sir-I will provide you with

half a score friends, which will help you a little : Enter Fidelia, in men's clothes.

in the mean time, be gone; go! you will fare betDon't you love me devilishly, too, my little ter in any place than with me. lunteer as well as he, or any man can?

Fide. I can fare well no where, lost as I am ; Fide. Better than any man can love you, my I pursue happiness, but at every turn I meet comdear captain: as well as you do truth and ho- plicated misery! (Aside.]

[Erit. nour, sir : as well

Enter OAKUM. Man. Nay, good young gentleman, enough for shaine ! Sure you forget that I am an unsucccess

Oak. There's a woman below, an please your ful man; that I have inet with nothing abroad, honour, who scolds and bustles to coune up, as but losses and disappointments; and am like to much as a seaman's widow at the navy-office; find nothing at home but frowns and vexation ! she says her name's Blackacre. Why do you follow me, then, flatter my vanity Man, That fieud ! now; since, so far from being able to befriend Free. The widow Blackacre, that litigious sheyou, I stand in need of a patron myself? pettifogger, who is at law and difference with all

Fide. I never followed reward or preferment, the world! I wish I could make her agree with sir, but you alone; and, were you this instant to me in a church. She hath three thousand pounds embark on the most hazardous expedition, I a-year jointure, and the care of her son; that is, would cheerfully risk my life for the bare plea- the destruction of his estate. sure of serving with you.

Man. The lawyers, attornies, and solicitors,


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