clothes. They are the very shape and size of Belinda and her aunt.

Madem. So dey be inteed, matam. Lady Fan. We'll slip into this close arbour, where we may hear all they say. [Exeunt LADY FANCYFUL and MADEMOISELLE. Lady Brute. What, are you afraid of us, gentlemen?

Heart. Why, truly, I think we may, if appearances don't lie.

Bel. Do you always find women what they appear to be, sir?

Heart. No, forsooth; but I seldom find them better than they appear to be.

Bel. Then the outside's best, you think?
Heart, Tis the honestest.

Con. Have a care, Heartfree; you are relapsing again.

Lady Brute. Why, does the gentleman use to rail at women?

Con. He has done formerly.

Bel. I suppose he had very good cause for it. They did not use you so well, as you thought you deserved, sir.

Lady Brute. They made themselves merry at your expence, sir.

Bel. Laughed, when you sighed.

Lady Brute. Slept, while you were waking.
Bel. Had your porter beat.

Lady Brute. And threw your billet-doux in the fire,

Heart. Hey-day! I shall do more than rail presently.

Bel. Why, you won't beat us, will you?
Heart. I don't know but I may.

Con. What the devil's coming here? Sir John in a gown-And drunk, i'faith."

Enter SIR JOHN.

Sir John. What a pox-here's Constant, Heartfree-and two whores 'egad-O, you covetous rogues! what, have you never a spare punk for your friend?-But I'll share with you. [He seizes both the women. Heart. Why, what the plague have you been doing, knight?

Heart. Sir John, your servant. Raptures attend you.

Con. Adieu, ladies; make much of the gentleman.

Lady Brute. Why, sure you won't leave us in the hands of a drunken fellow to abuse us!

Sir John. Who do you call a drunken fellow, you slut you? I'm a man of quality; the king has made me a knight.

Heart. Ay, ay, you are in good hands; adieu, adieu. [HEARTFREE runs off. Lady Brute. The devil's hands: Let me go, or I'll-For Heaven's sake, protect us.

[She breaks from him, runs to CONSTANT, twitching off her mask, and clapping it on again.

Sir John. I'll devil you, you jade you. I'll demolish your ugly face.

Re-enter HEARTFREE. BELINDA runs to him, and shews her face.

Heart. Hold, thou mighty man! look ye, sir, we did but jest with you. These are ladies of our acquaintance, that we had a mind to frighten a little, but now you must leave us.

Sir John. Oons, I won't leave you, not I. Heart. Nay, but you must, though; and, therefore, make no words on't.

Sir John. Then, you are a couple of damned uncivil fellows. And I hope your punks will give you sauce to your mutton.

[Exit SIR JOHN, Lady Brute. Oh, I shall never come to myself again, I'm so frightened!

Con. 'Tis a narrow escape, indeed.

Bel. Women must have frolics, you see, whatever they cost them.

Heart. This might have proved a dear one, though.

Lady Brute. You are the more obliged to us for the risk we run upon your accounts.

Con. And I hope you'll acknowledge something due to our knight-errantry, ladies. This is the second time we have delivered you.

Heart. A very good account, truly.

Sir John. And what do you think I'll do next?
Con. Nay, that no man can guess.

Sir John. Why, if you'll let me sup with you, I'll treat both your strumpets.

Lady Brute. [Aside.] O Lord, we're undone. Heart. No, we can't sup together, because we have some affairs elsewhere. But if you'll accept of these two ladies, we'll be so complaisant to you, to resign our right in them.

Bel. [Aside.] Lord, what shall we do? Sir John. Let me see, their clothes are such damned clothes, they won't pawn for the reckoning.

hands. But you must not have the worse opinion of us for our innocent frolic.

Heart. Ladies, you may command our opinions in every thing, that is to your advantage. Bel. Then, sir, I command you to be of opinion, that women are sometimes better than they appear to be.

[LADY BRUTE and CONSTANT talk apart. Heart. Madam, you have made a convert of me in every thing. I'm grown a fool. I could be fond of a woman.

sex.

Bel. I thank you, sir, in the name of the whole

Heart. Which sex, nothing but yourself could ever have atoned for.

Bel. Now has my vanity a devilish itch to know in what my merit consists.

Heart. In your humility, madam, that keeps you ignorant it consists at all.

Bel. One other compliment, with that serious face, and I hate you for ever after.

Heart. Some women love to be abused: Is it that you would be at?

Bel. No, not that neither: But I'd have men talk plainly what's fit for women to hear; without putting them either to a real, or an affected blush.

Heart. Why, then, in as plain terms as I can find to express myself, I could love you even to matrimony itself a-most, egad.

Bel. Just as Sir John did her ladyship there. What think you? Don't you believe one month's time might bring you down to the same indifference, only clad in a little better manners, perhaps? Well, you men are unaccountable things! mad, till you have your mistresses, and then stark mad, till you are rid of them again. Tell me honestly, is not your patience put to a much severer trial after possession than before?

Heart. With a great many, I must confess it is, to our eternal scandal; but I-dear creature, do but try me!

Bel. That's the surest way, indeed, to know, but not the safest. [To LADY BRUTE.] Madam, are not you for taking a turn in the great walk? It is almost dark, nobody will know us.

Lady Brute. Really, I find myself something idle, Belinda: Besides, I doat upon this little odd private corner. But don't let my lazy fancy contine you.

Con. [Aside. So, she would be left alone with me, that's well.

Bel. Well, we'll take one turn, and come to you again. [To HEARTFREE.] Come, sir, shall we go pry into the secrets of the garden? Who knows what discoveries we may make ?

Heart. Madam, I'm at your service. Con. [To HEARTFREE, Aside.] Don't make too much haste back; for, d'ye hear-I may be busy. Heart. Enough.

[Exeunt BELINDA and HEARTFREE. Lady Brute. Sure you think me scandalously free, Mr Constant; I'm afraid I shall lose your good opinion of me.

Con. My good opinion, madam, is like your cruelty, ne'er to be removed.

Lady Brute. Indeed, I doubt you much: why, suppose you had a wife, and she should entertain a gallant?

Con. If I gave her just cause, how could I justly condemn her?

Lady Brute. Ah! but you differ widely about just causes.

Con. But blows can bear no dispute. Lady Brute. Nor ill manners much, truly. Con. Then no woman upon earth has so just a cause as you have.

Lady Brule. But, can a husband's faults release my duty?

Con. In equity, without doubt. And, where laws dispense with equity, equity should dispense with laws.

Lady Brute. Pray, let's leave this dispute; for you men have as much witchcraft in your arguments, as women have in their eyes.

Con. But, whilst you attack me with your charms, 'tis but reasonable I assault you with mine.

Lady Brute. The case is not the same. What mischief we do, we can't help, and therefore are to be forgiven.

Con. Beauty soon obtains pardon for the pain that it gives, when it applies the balm of compassion to the wound: but a fine face, and a hard heart, is almost as bad as an ugly face, and a soft one; both very troublesome to many a poor gentleman.

Lady Brute. Yes, and to many a poor gentlewoman, too, I can assure you. But pray, which of them is it, that most afflicts you?

Con. Your glass and conscience will inform you, madam. But, for Heaven's sake, (for now I must be serious) if pity, or if gratitude can move you; [Taking her hand.]-If constancy and truth have power to tempt you; if love, if adoration can affect you, give me at least some hopes, that time may do, what you, perhaps, mean never to perform; 'twill ease my sufferings, though not quench my flame.

Lady Brute. Your sufferings eased, your flame would soon abate: and that I would preserve, not quench it, sir.

:

Con. Would you preserve it, nourish it with favours for that's the food it naturally requires. Lady Brute. Yet on that natural food 'twould surfeit soon, should I resolve to grant all you would ask.

Con. And in refusing all, you starve it. Forgive me, therefore, since my hunger rages, if I at last grow wild, and in my frenzy force at least this from you. [Kissing her hand.] Or, if you would have my flame soar higher still, then grant me this, and this, and thousands more; [Kissing first her hand, then her neck.] [Aside.] For now's the time she melts into compassion.

Lady Brute. O Heavens! let me go. Con. Aye, go, aye: where shall we go, my charming angel-into this private arbour-nay, let's lose no time-moments are precious.

Lady Brute. And lovers wild. Pray, let us stop here; at least for this time.

Con. 'Tis impossible: he, that has power over you, can have none over himself.

[As he is forcing her into the arbour, LADY FANCIFUL and MADEMOISELLE bolt out upon them, and run over the stage. Lady Brute. Ah, I'm lost! Lady Fan. Fe, fe, fe, fe, fe! Madem. Fe, fe, fe, fe, fe!

Con. Death and furies! who are these? Lady Brute O Heavens, I'm out of my wits! if they knew me, I am ruined.

Con. Don't be frightened: ten thousand to one, they are strangers to you.

Lady Brute. Whatever they are, I won't stay here a moment longer.

Con. Whither will you go?

Lady Brute. Home, as if the devil were in me; Lord! where's this Belinda now?

Enter BELINDA and HEARTFREE. Oh! 'tis well you are come; I'm so frightened, my hair stands on end. Let's be gone, for Heaven's sake!

Bel. Lord! what's the matter?

Lady Brute. The devil's the matter! here's a couple of women have done the most impertinent thing-away, away, away, away, away! [Erit running.

SCENE I-LADY FANCIFUL'S house.

Enter LADY FANCIFUL and MADEMOISELle. Lady Fan. WELL, mademoiselle; did you

dodge the filthy things?

Madem. O que ouy, madame.
Lady Fan. And where are they?
Madem. Au logis.

Lady Fan. What, men and all?
Madem. Tous ensemble.

Lady Fan. O confidence! what! carry their fellows to their own house?

Madem. C'est que le mari n'y est pas.

Lady Fan. No, so I believe, truly. But he shall be there, and quickly, too, if I can find him out. Well, 'tis a prodigious thing, to see when men and women get together, how they fortify one another in their impudence. But if that drunken fool, her husband, be to be found in e'er a tavern in town, I'll send him amongst them; I'll spoil their sport.

Madem. En vérité, madame, ce seroit domage. Lady Fan. 'Tis in vain to oppose it, mademoiselle; therefore, never go about it. For I am the steadiest creature in the world, when I have determined to do mischief. So, come along.

[Exeunt.

SCENE II.-SIR JOHN BRUTE's house.

Enter CONSTANT, HEARTFREE, LADY BRUTE, BELINDA, and LOVEWELL.

Lady Brute. But are you sure you don't mistake, Lovewell?

Love. Madam, I saw them all go into the tavern together, and my master was so drunk he could scarce stand.

Lady Brute. Then, gentlemen, I believe we may venture to let you stay, and play at cards with us, an hour or two: for they'll scarce part, till morning.

Bel. I think, 'tis pity they should ever part. Con. The company that's here, madam ? Lady Brute. Then, sir, the company, that's here, must remember to part itself in time.

Con. Madam, we don't intend to forfeit your future favours by an indiscreet usage of this.

The moment you give us the signal, we sha'nt fail to make our retreat.

Lady Brute. Upon those conditions, then, let us sit down to cards.

Enter LOVEWELL.

Love. O Lord, madam! here's my master just staggering in upon you; he has been quarrelsome, yonder, and they have kicked him out of the company.

Lady Brute. Into the closet, gentlemen, for Heaven's sake! I'll wheedle him to bed, if possible.

[CONSTANT and HEARTFREE run into the closet.

Enter SIR JOHN, all dirt and bloody.

Lady Brute. Ah-ah-he's all over blood! Sir John. What the plague does the woman squall for? Did you never see a man in pickle before?

Lady Brute. Lord, where have you been?
Sir John. I have been at-cuffs.

Lady Brute. I fear that is not all. I hope you are not wounded?

Sir John. Sound as a roach, wife.

Lady Brufe. I'm mighty glad to hear it.
Sir John. You know I think you

lie.

Lady Brute. You do me wrong to think so. For, Heaven's my witness, I had rather see my own blood trickle down, than yours.

Sir John. Then will I be crucified. Lady Brute. "Tis a hard fate I should not be believed.

Sir John. 'Tis a damned atheistical age, wife. Lady Brute. I am sure I have given you a thousand tender proofs, how great my care is of you. But, spite of all your cruel thoughts, I'll till persist, and, at this moment, if I can, persuade you to lie down and sleep a little.

Sir John. Why, do you think I am drunk, you slut, you?

Lady Brute. Heaven forbid I should: but I am afraid you are feverish. Pray, let me feel your pulse.

Sir John. Stand off, and be damned!
Lady Brute. Why, I see your distemper in

Sir John. Come, kiss me, then. Lady Brute. [Kissing him.]—There: now go. -Aside.]-He stinks like poison!

Sir John. I see it goes damnably against your stomach. And therefore―kiss me again. Lady Brute. Nay, now you fool me. Sir John. Do it, I say.

Lady Brute. [Aside.]-Ah, Lord have mercy upon me! Well; there: now, will you go?

Sir John. Now, wife, you shall see my gratitude. You gave me two kisses-I'll give you two hundred.

[Kisses and tumbles her. Lady Brute. O Lord! pray, sir John, be quiet. Heavens, what a pickle am I in!

Bel. [Aside.]—If I were in her pickle, I would call my gallant out of the closet, and he should cudgel him soundly.

Sir John. So, now, you being as dirty and as nasty as myself, we may go pig together. But first, I must have a cup of your cold tea, wife. [Going to the closet. Lady Brute. Oh, I am ruined! There's none there, my dear.

Sir John. I'll warrant you, I'll find some, my dear.

Lady Brute. You can't open the door, the lock's spoiled; I have been turning and turning the key, this half hour, to no purpose. I'll send for the smith to-morrow.

Sir John. There's ne'er a smith in Europe can open a door with more expedition than I can do as for example-now.-[He bursts open the door with his foot.]-How now! what the devil have we got here? Constant!- Heartfree! and two whores again, I'gad!—this is the worst cold tea, that ever I met with in my life

Enter CONSTANT and HEARTFREE, Lady Brute. [Aside.]—O Lord, what will become of us?

Sir John. Gentlemen, I am your very humble servant-I give you many thanks-I see you take care of my family—I shall do all I can to return the obligation.

Con. Sir, how oddly soever this business may appear to you, you would have no cause to be uneasy, if you knew the truth of all things; your lady is the most virtuous woman in the world, and nothing has past but an innocent frolic.

Heart. Nothing else, upon my honour, sir. Sir John. You are both very civil gentlemenand my wife, there, is a very civil gentlewoman; therefore, I don't doubt but many civil things have past between you. Your very humble ser

vant.

Lady Brute. [Aside to CONSTANT.] Pray be gone: he's so drunk he can't hurt us to-night, and to-morrow morning you shall hear from us. Con. I'll obey you, madam. Sir, when you VOL. II.

then, I shall take the pains to inform you. If not-I wear a sword, sir, and so good-bye-t'ye. Come along, Heartfree.

[Exeunt CONSTANT and HEARTFREE.

Sir John. Wear a sword, sir!-and what of all that, sir? he comes to my house; eats my meat; lies with my wife; dishonours my family; gets a bastard to inherit my estate-and when I ask a civil account of all this-sir, says he, I wear a sword-wear a sword, sir? Yes, sir, says he, I wear a sword. It may be a good answer to cross purposes; but 'tis a damned one to a man in my whimsical circumstances-sir, says he, I wear a sword! [To LADY BRUTE.] And what do you wear, now? ha! tell me.-[Sitting down in a great chair.]—What, you are modest, and can't-why, then, I'll tell you, you slut, you. You wear-an impudent lewd face-a damned, designing heart-and a tail-and a tail full of

[He falls fast asleep, snoring. Lady Brute. So; thanks to kind Heaven, he's fast for some hours.

Bel. 'Tis well he is so, that we may have time to lay our story handsomely; for we must lie like the devil to bring ourselves off.

Lady Brute. What shall we say, Belinda?

Bel. [Musing.] I'll tell you: it must all light upon Heartfree and me. We'll say he has courted me some time, but, for reasons unknown to us, has ever been very earnest the thing might be kept from sir John. That, therefore, hearing him upon the stairs, he run into the closet, though against our will, and Constant with him, to prevent jealousy. And, to give this a good impudent face of truth, (that I may deliver you from the trouble you are in) I'll even, if he pleases, marry him.

Lady Brute. I am beholden to you, cousin but that would be carrying the jest a little too far, for your own sake: you know he's a younger brother, and has nothing.

Bel. 'Tis true: but I like him, and have fortune enough to keep above extremity: I can't say, I would live with him in a cell, upon love, and bread and butter: but I had rather have the man I love, and a middle state of life, than that gentleman in the chair, there, and twice your ladyship's splendour.

Lady Brute. In truth, niece, you are in the right on't: but 'tis late: let's end our discourse for to-night, and, out of an excess of charity, take a small care of that nasty drunken thing theredo but look at him, Belinda.

Bel. Ah, 'tis a savoury dish!

Lady Brute. As savoury as 'tis, I am cloyed with it. Prithee, call the butler to take away

Bel. Call the butler! call the scavenger! [To a servant within.] Who's there? Call Razor! Let him take away his master, scour him clean with a little soap and sand, and so put him to bed.

2 E

our gentlemen, to set this matter even.

Bel. With all my heart.
Ludy Brute. Good night, my dear.

[Making a low courtesy to SIR JOHN.

Both. Ha, ha, ha!

[Exeunt LADY BRUTE and BELINDA.

Enter RAZOR.

Raz. My lady there's a wag-my master there's a cuckold. Marriage is a slippery thing -women have depraved appetites-my lady's a wag; I have heard all; I have seen all; I understand all; and I'll tell all; for my little Frenchwoman loves news dearly. This story will gain her heart, or nothing will.—[To his master.]-Come, sir, your head's too full of fumes at present, to make room for your jealousy; but I reckon we shall have rare work with you, when your pate's empty. Come to your kennel, you cuckoldy, drunken sot, you.

[Curries him out on his back.

SCENE III.-LADY FANCIFUL'S house.

Enter LADY FANCIFUL and MADEMOISELLE. Lady Fan. But, why did you not tell me before, mademoiselle, that Razor and you were fond?

Madem. De modesty hinder me, matam.

Lady Fan. Why, truly, modesty does often hinder us from doing things, we have an extravagant mind to. But does he love you well enough yet, to do any thing you bid him? Do you think, to oblige you, he would speak scandal?

Madem. Matam, to oblige your ladyship, he shall speak blasphemy.

you

Lady Fan. Why, then, mademoiselle, I'll tell `shall do. You shall engage him to what you tell his master all that past at Spring Garden : I have a mind he should know what a wife and a niece he has got.

Madem. Il le fera, madame.

Enter a Footman, who speaks to MADEMOISELLE apart.

Foot. Mademoiselle, yonder's Mr Razor desires to speak with you.

Madem. Tell him, I come presently. [Exit Footman.] Razor be dere, matam.

Lady Fan. That's fortunate: well, I'll leave you together. And if you find him stubborn, mademoiselle-hark you don't refuse him a few little reasonable liberties, to put him into hu

mour.

Madem. Laissez moi faire.

gone, runs to MADEMOISELLE, takes her about the neck, and kisses her.]

Madem. How now, confidence!
Raz. How now, modesty!

Madem. Who make you so familiar, sirrah ?
Raz. My impudence, hussy.

Madem. Stand off, rogue face!

Ruz. Ah, mademoiselle! great news at our house.

ter.

Madem. Why, vat be de matter?

Kaz. The matter? why, uptails all's the mat