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Ant. WITHOUT compliment, my old friend, I shall think myself much honoured in your alliance; our families are both ancient; our children young, and able to support them; and, I think, the sooner we set them to work the better. Cha. Sir, you offer fair and nobly, and shall find I dare meet you in the same line of honour: and, I hope, since I have but one girl in the world, you won't think me a troublesome old fool, if I endeavour to bestow her to her worth; therefore, if you please, before we shake hands, a word or two by the by; for I have some considerable questions to ask you.

Ant. Ask them.

Cha. Well, in the first place, you say you have two sons?

Ant. Exactly.

Cha. And you are willing that one of them shall marry my daughter? Ant. Willing.

Cha. My daughter Angelina?
Ant. Angelina.

Cha. And you are likewise content that the said Angelina shall survey them both, and (with my allowance) take to her lawful husband which of them she pleases?

Ant. Content.

Cha. And you farther promise, that the person by her (and me) so chosen (be it cider or young

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Cha. But Clodio, the younger, has seen the world, and is very well known in the court of France; a sprightly fellow, ha?

Ant. Mettle to the back, sir.

Cha. Well, how far either of them may go with my daughter, I can't tell; she'll be easily pleased where I am- -I have given her some documents already. Hark! what noise without? Ant. Odso! 'tis they-they're comehave expected them these two hours. Well, sirrah, who's without?

Enter a SERVANT.

-I

Ser. 'Tis Sancho, sir, with a waggon-load of my master's books.

Cha. What, does he always travel with his whole study?

Ant. Never without them, sir; 'tis his humour.

Enter SANCHO, laden with books.

San. Pedro, unload part of the library; bid the porter open the great gates, and make room for t'other dozen of carts; I'll be with you presently.

Ant. Ha! Sancho! where's my Carlos?Speak, boy, where didst thou leave thy master?

San. Jogging on, sir, in the highway to knowledge, both hands employed, in his book, and his bridle, sir; but he has sent his duty before him in this letter, sir.

Ant. What have we here, pothooks and andirons ?

San. Pothooks! Oh, dear sir!-I beg your pardon-No, sir, this is Arabic; 'tis to the lord Abbot, concerning the translation, sir, of human bodies a new way of getting out of the world-There's a terrible wise man has written a very smart book of it.

Cha. Pray, friend, what will that same book teach a man?

San. Teach you, sir! why, to play a trump upon death, and shew yourself a match for the devil.

Cha. Strange!

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Ser. Monsieur, sir, from my young master, Clodio.

Enter MONSIEUR.

Ant. Well, Monsieur, what says your master? When will he be here?

Mons. Sire, he vill be here in de less time dan von quarter of de hour; he is not quite tirty mile off.

Ant. And what came you before for?

Mons. Sire, me come to provide de pulville, and de essence for his peruque, dat he may approche to your vorshipe vid de reverence, and de belle air.

Ant. What, is he unprovided, then?

Mons. Sire, he vas enrage, and did break his bottel d'orangerie, because it vas not de same dat is prepare for Monseigneur le Dauphin.

Ant. Well, sir, if you'll go to the butler, he'll

help you to some oil for his periwig.

Mons. Sire, me tank you. [Erit MONSIEUR. Cha. A very notable spark, this Clodio. Ha! what noise is that without?

Enter a SERVANT.

Ser. Sir, my young masters are both come. Ant. That's well! Now, sir, now! now ob serve their several dispositions.

Enter CARLOS.

Car. My father! sir, your blessing.

Ant. Thou hast it, Carlos; and now, pray know this gentleman, Charino, sir, my old friend, and one in whom you may have a particular interest.

Car. I'll study to deserve his love, sir. Cha. Sir, as for that matter, you need not study at all. [They sulute. Clo. [Within.] Hey! La Valiere! bid the groom take care our hunters be well rubbed and clothed; they're hot, and have out-stripped the wind.

Cha. Ay, marry, sir, there's mettle in this Sun. Here, sir, this is your letter. [To ANT. young fellow. VOL. II.

2 F

Enter CLODIO.

Clo. Where's my father?
Ant. Ha, my dear Clody, thou'rt welcome!
Clo. Sir, being my father's friend, I am your
most obliged, faithful, humble servant. [To CHA.
Cha. Sir—I—I—I like you.
Clo. Thy hand.

[Eagerly.

Cha. Faith, thou art a pretty humoured fellow.
Clo. Who's that? Pray, sir, who's that?
Ant. Your brother, Clody.

Clo. Odso! I beg his pardon with all my heart-Ha, ha, ha! did ever mortal see such a book-worm!-Brother, how is't! [Carelessly. Car. I'm glad you are well, brother. [Reads. Clo. What, does he draw his book upon me? Then I will draw my wit upon him--Gad, I'll puzzle him-Hark you, brother; pray, what's Latin for a sword-knot?

Car. The Romans wore none, brother.
Clo. No ornament upon their swords, sir?
Car. Oh, yes, several; conquest, peace, and
honour-an old unfashionable wear.

Clo. Sir, no man in France (I may as well say breathing; for not to live there, is not to breathe) wears a more fashionable sword than I do; he cost me fifteen louis d'ors in Paris————There, sir, -feel him--try him, sir.

Car. I have no skill, sir.

[Fencing.

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Mons. Sire, here be de several sort of de jessamine d'orangerie vidout, if you please to make your choice.

Clo. Mum, sir, I must beg pardon for a moment; a most important business calls me aside, which I will dispatch with all imaginable celerity, and return to the repetition of my desire to continue, sir, your most obliged, and faithful humble servant. [Erit CLODIO, bowing.

Cha. Faith, he's a pretty fellow. Ant. Now, sir, if you please, since we have got the other alone, we'll put the matter a little closer to him.

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Cha. 'Tis to little purpose, I'm afraid: but use your pleasure, sir.

Car. Plato differs from Socrates in this.

[To himself. Ant. Come, come, prithee, Charles, lay them by, let them agree at leisure- -What, no hour of interruption?

Car. Man's life, sir, being so short, and then the way that leads us to the knowledge of ourselves, so hard and tedious, each minute should be precious.

Clo. No skill, sir! why, this sword would Ant. Aye, but to thrive in this world, Charles, make a coward fight--aha! sa, sa! ha! rip-you must part a little with this bookish contemha! there I had him. plation, and prepare yourself for action. If you Car. Take heed; you'll cut my clothes, brother. will study, let it be to know what part of my Clo. Cut 'em! ha, ha!--no, no, they are cutland's fit for the plough; what for pasture; to already, brother, to the grammar rules exactly: buy and sell my stock to the best advantage; and psha! prithee, man, leave off this college-air. cure my cattle when they are overgrown with laCar. No, brother, I think it wholesome, the bour. This, now, would turn to some account. soil and situation pleasant.

Clo. A put, by Jupiter! he don't know the air of a gentleman, from the air of the country -Sir, I mean the air of your clothes; I would have you change your tailor, and dress a little more en cavalier: lay by your book, and take out your snuff-box; cock, and look smart, ha! Chu. Faith, a pretty fellow.

Car. This, sir, may be done from what I've read; for, what concerns tillage, who can better deliver it than Virgil in his Georgies? And, for the cure of herds, his Bucolics are a masterpiece; but when his art describes the commonwealth of bees, their industry, their more than human knowledge of the herbs from which they gather honey; their laws, their government Cur. I read no use in this, brother; and for among themselves, their order in going forth, my clothes, the half of what I wear already and coming laden home, their strict obedience to scems to me superfluous. What need I outward their king, his just rewards to such as labour, his ornaments, when I can deck myself with under-punishment, inflicted only on the slothful drone; standing? Why should we care for any thing but knowledge? Or look upon the follies of mankind, but to condemn or pity those that seek them? [Reads again.

Clo. Stark mad, split me!

Cha. Psha! this fellow will never do-he has no soul in him.

Clo. Hark you, brother, what do you think of a pretty, plump wench now?

Car. I seldom think that way; women are books I have not read yet.

I'm ravished with it: then reap, indeed, my harvest, receive the grain my cattle bring me, and there find wax and honey.

Ant. Hey day! Georges, and Blue-sticks, and bees-wax! What, art thou mad? Cha. Raving, raving!

Cur. No, sir, the knowledge of this guards me from it.

Ant. But can you find, amongst all your musty manuscripts, what pleasure he enjoys, that lies in the arms of a young, rich, well-shaped, healthy

Clo. Gad, I could set you a sweet lesson, bro-bride? Answer me that, ha, sir! ther.

Car. 'Tis frequent, sir, in story; there I read

of all kinds of virtuous, and of vicious women; the ancient Spartan dames, the Roman ladies, their beauties, their deformities; and when· { light upon a Portia, or a Cornelia, crowned with ever-blooming truth and virtue, with such a feeling I peruse their fortunes, as if I then had lived, and tasted of their lawful, envied love. But when I meet a Messalina, tired and unsated in her foul desires; a Clytemnestra, bathed in her husband's blood; an impious Tullia, whirling her chariot over her father's breathless body, horror invades my faculties. Comparing, then, the numerous guilty, with the easy count of those that die in innocence, I detest and loath them as ignorance, or atheism.

Ant. And you do resolve, then, not to make payment of the debt you owe me ?

Car. What debt, good sir!

Ant. Why, the debt I paid my father, when I got you, sir, and made him a grandsire; which I expect from you. I won't have my name die.

Car. Nor would I; my laboured studies, sir, may prove in time a living issue.

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Clo. Sir, I will be as smart as she; I have my share of courage; I fear no woman alive, sir, ha

Ant. Very well, sir; and so I shall have a ge-ving always found that love and assurance ought neral collection of all the quiddits, from Adam till this time, to be my grandchild.

Car. I'll take my best care, sir, that what I leave, may'nt shame the family.

Cha. A sad fellow, this! this is a very sad fellow! [Aside. Ant. So, in short, you would not marry an empress!

Car. Give me leave to enjoy myself. The closet, that contains my chosen books, to me's a glorious court; my venerable companions there, the old sages and philosophers, sometimes the greatest kings and heroes, whose counsels I have leave to weigh, and call their victories, if unjustly got, unto a strict account, and, in my fancy, dare deface their ill-placed statues. Can I then part with solid, constant pleasures, to clasp uncertain vanities? No, sir, be it your care to swell your heap of wealth; marry my brother, and let him get you bodies of your name; I rather would inform it with a soul. I tire you, sir-your pardon and your leave. Lights there, for my study. [Erit CARLOS. Ant. Was ever man thus transported from the common sense of his own happiness! a stupid wise rogue! I could beat him. Now, if it were not for my hopes in young Clody, I might fairly conclude my name were at a period.

Cha. Aye, aye, he's the match for my money, and my girl's too, I warrant her. What say you, sir, shall we tell them a piece of our mind, and turn them together instantly?

Ant. This minute, sir; and here comes my young rogue, in the very nick of his fortune.

Enter CLODIO.

Ant. Clody, a word

to be as inseparable companions, as a beau and a snuff-box, or a curate and a tobacco-stopper. Cha. Faith, thou art a pleasant rogue! E'gad she must like thee.

Clo. I know how to tickle the ladies, sir-in Paris, I had constantly two challenges every morning came up with my chocolate, only for being pleasant company the night before with the first ladies of quality.

Cha. Ah, silly envious rogues! Prithee, what do you do to the ladics?

San. Positively, nothing. [Aside. Clo. Why, the truth is, I did make the jades drink a little too smartly; for which the poor dogs, the princes, could not endure me.

Cha. Why, hast thou really conversed with the royal family?

Clo. Conversed with them! aye, rot them, aye, aye-You must know, some of them came with me half a day's journey, to see me a little on my way hither; but e'gad, I sent young Louis back again to Marli, as drunk as a tinker, by Jove! Ha, ha, ha! I can't but laugh to think how old Monarchy growled at him next morning.

Cha. Gad-a-mercy, boy! Well, and I warrant thou wert as intimate with their ladies, too? San. Just alike, I dare answer for him.

[Aside.

Clo. Why, you shall judge now, you shall judge-let me see-there was I and Monsieurno, no, no! Monsieur did not sup with usthere was I and prince Grandmont, duke de Bongrace-duke de Bellegrade-(Beilegrade—yes— yes-Jack was there) count de l'Esprit, marshal Bombard, and that pleasant dog, the prince de Hautenbas. We six, now, were all at supper, all in good humour; champaigne was the word, and

Clo. To the wise is enough. Your pleasure, sir? wit flew about the room, like a pack of losing

cards-now, sir, in Madame's adjacent lodgings, there happened to be the self-same number of ladies, after the fatigue of a ballet, diverting themselves with ratiha and the spleen; so dull, they were not able to talk, though it were scandalously, even of their best friends. So, sir, after a profound silence, at last, one of them gaped -Oh, gad! says she, would that pleasant dog, Clody, were here, to badiner a little! hey! says a second, and stretched—Ah, mon dieu ! says a third, and waked-Could not one find him? says a fourth, and leered--Oh, burn him, says a fifth, I saw him go out with the nasty rakes of the blood again-in a pet-did you so? says a sixth. Pardie! we'll spoil that gang presently-in a passion. Whereupon, sir, in two minutes, I received a billet in four words- Chien, nous vous demandons; subscribed, Grandmont, Bongrace, Bellegrade, L'Esprit, Bombard, and Hautenbas. Cha. Why, these are the very names of the princes you supped with.

Clo. Every soul of them the individual wife or sister of every man in the company, split me! ha, ha, ha!

Cha, & Ant. Ha, ha!

San. Did ever two old gudgeons swallow so greedily? [Aside. Ant. Well, and didst thou make a night on't, boy?

Clo. Yes, e'gad, and morning too, sir; for about eight o'clock the next day, slap they all soused upon their knees, kissed round, burned their commodes, drank my health, broke their glasses, and so parted.

Ant. Gad-a-mercy, Clody! Nay, 'twas always a wild young rogue!

Cha. I like him the better for't-he's a pleasant one, I'm sure.

Ant. Well, the rogue gives him a rare account of his travels.

Clo. E'gad, sir, I have a cure for the spleen. Ah, ha! I know how to wriggle myself into a lady's favour-give me leave when you please, sir. Cha. Sir, you shall have it this momentfaith, I like him-you remember the conditions, sir; three parts of your estate to him and his heirs.

Ant. Sir, he deserves it all; 'tis not a trifle shall part them. You see Charles has given over the world: I'll undertake to buy his birth-right for a shelf of new books.

Cha. Aye, aye; get you the writings ready, with your other son's hand to them; for, unless he signs, the conveyance is of no validity.

Ant. I know it, sir-they shall be ready with his hand in two hours.

Cha. Why, then, come along, my lad; and now I'll shew thee to my daughter.

Clo. I dare be shown, sir-Allons! Hey, suivons l'amour. [Exeunt all but SANCHO. Sun. How! my poor master to be disinherited, for monsieur Sa-sa, there, and I a looker on

too! If we have studied our majors and our minors, our antecedents and consequents, to be concluded coxcombs at last, we have made a fair hand on't. I'm glad I know of this roguery, however. I'll take care my master's uncle, old don Lewis, shall hear of it; for, though he can hardly read a proclamation, yet he doats upon his learning; and if he be that old, rough, testy blade he used to be, we may chance to have a rubbers with them first-here he comes, profecto.

Enter DON LEWIS.

D. Lew. Sancho, where's my boy Charles? What, is he at it? Is he at it? Deep- deep-I warrant him-Sancho-a little peep now-one peep at him, through the key-hole-I must have a peep.

San. Have a care, sir, he's upon a magical point.

D. Lew. What, has he lost any thing? San. Yes, sir, he has lost, with a vengeance. D. Lew. But what, what, what, what, sirrah! what is't?

Sun. Why, his birth-right, sir; he is di-didis disinherited. [Sobbing. D. Lew. Ha! how! when! what!" where! who! what dost thou mean?

San. His brother, sir, is to marry Angelina, the great heiress, to enjoy three parts of his father's estate; and my master is to have a whole acre of new books, for setting his hand to the conveyance.

D. Lew. This must be a lie, sirrah; I will have it a lie.

San. With all my heart, sir; but here comes my old master, and the pickpocket the lawyer: they'll tell you more.

Enter ANTONIO, and a Lawyer.

Ant. Here, sir, this paper has your full instructions: pray, be speedy, sir; I don't know but we may couple them to-morrow; be sure you make it firm.

Law. Do you secure his hand, sir, I defy the law to give him his title again.

San. What think you now, sir?

[Exit Lawyer.

D. Lew. Why, now, methinks I'm pleasedthis is right-I'm pleased-must cut that lawyer's throat, though-must bone him-aye, I'll have him boned--and potted.

Ant. Brother, how is it?

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