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of all kinds of virtuous, and of vicious women; Ant. In the mean time, sir, if you please to the ancient Spartan dames, the Roman ladies, send your daughter notice of our intended visit. their beauties, their deformities; and when I

[To CHARINO, light upon a Portia, or a Cornelia, crowned with Cha. I'll do it-hark

you,

friend ever-blooming truth and virtue, with such a feel

[Whispers a servant, ing I peruse their fortunes, as if I then had lived, and tasted of their lawful, envied love. But when

Enter Sancho behind. I meet a Messalina, tired and unsated in her foul San. I doubt my master has found but rough desires; a Clytemnestra, bathed in her husband's welcome; he's gone supperless into his study ; I'd blood ; an impious Tullia, whirling her chariot fain know the reason—it may be, somebody has over her father's breathless body, horror invades borrowed one of his books, or so—I must find it my faculties. Comparing, then, the numerous

[Stands aside. guilty, with the easy count of those that die in Clo. Sir, you could not have started any thing innocence, I detest and loath them as ignorance, more agreeable to my inclination; and for the or atheism.

young lady's, sir, if this old gentleman will please Ant. And you do resolve, then, not to make to give me a sight of her, you shall see me whip payment of the debt you owe me?

into her's, in the cutting of a caper. Car. What debt, good sir!

Cha. Well, pursue and conquer; though, let Ant. Why, the debt I paid my father, when I me tell you, sir, my girl has wit, and will give got you, sir, and made him a grandsire; which I you as good as you bring; she has a smart way, expect from you. I won't have my naine die. sir.

Car. Nor would I ; my laboured studies, sir, Clo. Sir, I will be as smart as she; I have my may prove in time a living issue.

share of courage; I fear no woman alive, sir, haAnt. Very well, sir; and so I shall have a ge- ving always found that love and assurance ought neral collection of all the quiddits, from Adam to be as inseparable companions, as a beau and a till this time, to be my grandchild.

snuff-box, or a curate and a tobacco-stopper. Car. I'll take my best care, sir, that what I Cha. Faith, thou art a pleasant rogue! E'gad leave, may’nt shame the family.

she must like thee. Cha. A sad fellow, this! this is a very sad fel- Cl. I know how to tickle the ladies, sir-in low!

[Aside. Paris, I had constantly two challenges every Ant. So, in short, you would not marry an em- morning came up with my chocolate, only for press!

being pleasant company the night before with Car. Give me lcave to enjoy myself. The the first ladies of quality. closet, that contains my chosen books, to me's a Cha. Ah, silly envious rogues ! Prithee, what glorious court; my venerable companions there, do you do to the ladies ? the old sages and philosophers, sometimes thé San. Positively, nothing.

[ Aside. greatest kings and heroes, whose counsels I have Clo. Why, the truth is, I did make the jades leave to weigh, and call their victories, if unjust-drink a little too smartly; for which the poor ly got, unto a strict account, and, in my fancy, dogs, the princes, could not endure me. dare deface their ill-placed statues. Can I then Cha. Why, hast thou really conversed with the part with solid, constant pleasures, to clasp un- royal family? certain vanities? No, sir, be it your care to swell

*Clo. Conversed with them! aye, rot them, your heap of wealth; marry my brother, and let aye, aye-You must know, some of thein came him get you bodies of your naine; I rather would with me half a day's journey, to see ine a little inform it with a soul. I tire you, sir—your on my way bither ; but e'gad, I sent young Louis pardon and your leave. Lights there, for my back again to Marli, as drunk as a tinker, by study.

[Erit Carlos. Jove! Ha, ha, ha! I can't but laugh to think Ant. Was ever man thus transported from the how old Monarchy growled at him next morning. common sense of his own happiness! a stupid Chu. Gad-a-mercy, boy! Well, and I warrant wisc rogue! I could beat him. Now, if it were thou wert as intimate with their ladies, too? not for my hopes in young Clody, I might fairly San. Just alike, I dare answer for him. conclude my name were at a period.

[Aside. Cha. Aye, aye, he's the match for my money, Clo. Why, you shall judge now, you shall and my girl's too, I warrant her. What say you, judge-let me see-there was I and Monsieursir, shall we tell them a piece of our mind, and no, no, no! Monsieur did not sup with us, turn them together instantly?

there was I and prince Grandmont, duke de BonAnt. This minute, sir; and here comes my grace-duke de Bellegrade-(Beilegrade-yesyoung rogue, in the very nick of his fortune. yes-Jack was there) count de l'Esprit, marshal

Bombard, and that pleasant doy, the prince de Enter Clodio.

Hautenbás. We six, now, were all at supper, all Ant. Clody, a word

in good humour; champagne was the word, and Çlo. To the wise is enough. Your pleasure, sir? | wit New about the room, like a pack of losing

cards-now, sir, in Madame's adjacent lodgings, too! If we have studied our majors and our mithere happened to be the self-same number of nors, our antecedents and consequents, to be conladies, after the fatigue of a ballet, diverting cluded coxconibs at last, we have made a fair themselves with ratiha and the spleen; so dull, hand on't. I'm glad I know of this roguery, they were not able to talk, though it were scan- however. I'll take care my master's uncle, old don dalously, even of their best friends. So, sir, af- Lewis, shall hear of it; for, though he can hardly ter a profound silence, at last, one of them gaped read a proclamation, yet he doats upon his learn-Oh, gad! says she, would that pleasant dog, ing; and if he be that old, rough, testy blade he Clody, were here, to badiner a little! hey! says used to be, we may chance to have a rubbers a second, and stretched--Ah, mon dieu! says a with them first-here he comes, profecto. tbird, and waked-Could not one find him? says

Enter Don Lewis. a fourth, and leered-- Oh, burn him, says a fifth, I saw him go out with the nasty rakes of the D. Lew. Sancho, where's my boy Charles ? blood again—in a pet-did you so? says a sixth. What, is he at it' Is he at it? Deep, deep-I Pardie! we'll spoil that gang presently-in a warrant him-Sancho-a little peep now-one passion. Whereupon, sir, in two minutes, I re- peep at him, through the key-hole-I must have ceived a billet in four words~ Chien, nous vous a peep. demandons ;' subscribed, Grandmont, Bongrace, San. Ilave a care, sir, he's upon a magical Beliegrade, L'Esprit, Bombard, and Hautenbas. point.

Cha. Why, these are the very names of the D. Lew. What, has he lost any thing? princes you supped with.

San. Yes, sir, he has lost, with a vengeance. Clo. Every soul of them the individual wife or D. Lew. But what, what, what, what, sirrah ! sister of every man in the company, split me! what is't? ha, ha, ha!

Sun. Why, his birth-right, sir; he is di-diCha.& Ant. Ha, ha !

dis--disinherited.

[Sobbing; San. Did ever two old gudgeons swallow so D. Lew. Ha! how ! when! what! where! greedily?

[Aside. who! what dost thou mean? Ant. Well, and didst thou make a night on't, San. His brother, sir, is to marry Angelina, boy?

the great heiress, to enjoy three parts of his faClo. Yes, e'gad, and morning too, sir; for about ther's estate; and my master is to have a whole eight o'clock the next day, slap they all soused acre of new books, for setting his hand to the upon their knees, kissed round, burned their com- conveyance. modes, drank my health, broke their glasses, and D. Lew. This must be a lie, sirrah; I will so parted.

have it a lie. Ant. Gad-a-mercy, Clody! Nay, 'twas always San. With all my heart, sir; but here comes a wild young rogue !

my old master, and the pickpocket the lawyer : Cha. I like him the better for't-he's a plea- they'll tell you more. sant one, I'm sure. Ant. Well, the rogue gives him a rare account

Enter ANTONIO, and a Lawyer. of his travels.

Ant. Here, sir, this paper has your full inClo. E'gad, sir, I have a cure for the spleen. structions : pray, be speedy, sir; I don't know Ah, ha! I know how to wriggle myself into a la- but we inay couple them to-morrow; be sure dy's favour-give me leave when you please, sir. you make it firm.

Cha. Sir, you shall have it this moment- Law. Do you secure his hand, sir, I defy the faith, I like him-you remember the conditions, law to give him his title again. sir; three parts of your estate to him and his

[Exit Laayer. heirs.

San. What think you now, sir? Ant. Sir, he deserves it all; 'tis not a trifle D. Lew. Why, now, methinks I'm pleased shall part them. You see Charles has given over this is right-I'm pleased-must cut that laws the world: I'll undertake to buy his birth-right yer's throat, though--must bone him--aye, I'LI for a shelf of new books.

have bim boned--and potted. Cha. Aye, aye; get you the writings ready, Ant. Brother, how is it? with your other son's hand to them; for, unless D. Lew. Oh, mighty well-mighty well-let's he signs, the conveyance is of no validity. feel your pulse--feverish

Ant. I know it, sir-they shall be ready with [ Looks carnestly in Antonio's fuce, and, afhis hand in two hours.

ter some pause, whistles a piece of a tune. Cha. Why, then, come along, my lad; and Ant. You are merry, brother. now I'll shew thee to my daughter.

D. Lew. It's a lie. Clo. I dare be shown, sir-Allons ! Hey, sui- Ant. How, brother! vous l'amour.

[Ereunt all but SANCHO. D. Leu. A damned lie-I am not merry, Sun. Ilow ! my poor master to be disinherited,

[Smiling for înonsieur Sa-sa, there, and I a looker on Ant. What are you, then?

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Cha. Aye.

D. Lew. Very angry.

and the rogue does so whisk, and frisk, and sing, Ant. Hi, hi, hi! At what, brother?

and dance her about! Odsbud, he plays like a

[Mimicking him. greyhound. Noble Don Lewis, I am your humD. Lew. Why, at a very wise settlement I ble servant. Come, what say you? Shall I prehave made lately.

vail with you to settle some part of your estate Ant. What settlement, good brother? I find upon young Clody, he has heard of it.

[Aside. D. Lew. Clody! D. Lew. What do you think I have done? I Cha. Aye, your nephew, Clody. have this deep head of mine has disinherited D. Lew. Settle upon him! my elder son, because his understanding is an honour to my family; and given it all to my young- D. Lew. Why, look you, I ha'nt much land to er, because he's a puppy-a puppy.

spare ; but I have an adınirable horse-pond Ant. Come, I guess at your meaning, brother. I'll settle that upon him, if you will. D. Lew. Do you so, sir! Why, then, I must Ant. Come, let him have his way, sir; he's old tell you, flat and plain, my boy Charles must, and hasty; my estate's sufficient. How does and shall inherit it.

your daughter, sir? Ant. I say no, unless Charles had a soul to va- Cha. Ripe, and ready, sir, like a blushing rose; lue his fortune. What! he should manage eight she only waits for the pulling. thousand crowns a year out of the metaphysics ? Ant. Why, then, let to-morrow be the day. astronomy should look to my vineyards; Horace Cha. With all my heart; get you the writings should buy off my wines ; tragedy should kill my ready, my girl shall be here in the morning. mutton; history should cut down my hay; Ho- D. Lew. Hark you, sir, do you suppose my mer should get in my corn; Tityre tu patula Charles shalllook to my sheep; and geometry bring my har- Cha. Sir, I suppose nothing; what I'll do, I'll vest home! Hark you, brother, do you know justify; what your brother does, let him answer. what learning is?

Ant. That I have already, sir, and so good D. Lew. What if I don't, sir? I believe it's a morrow to your patience, brother. fine thing, and that's enough-though I can speak

[Exit ANTONIO. no Greek, I love and honour the sound of it, and D. Lew. Sancho ! Charles speaks it loftily; E'gad, he thunders it San. Sir? out, sir: and let me tell you, sir, if you had ever D. Lew. Fetch me some gunpowder-quick

grace to have heard but sıx lines of Hesiod, quick. or Homer, or Iliad, or any of the Greek poets, San. Sir? od's-heart! would have made your hair stand on D. Lew. Some gun-powder, I say--a barrel end; sir, he has read such things in my hear- quickly—and, d’ye hear, three pennyworth of ing

ratsbane; hey! aye, I'll blow up one, and poison Ant. But did you understand them, brother? the other.

D. Lew. I tell you, no. nify! The very sound's sufficient comfort to an and if you dare take my advice, (I don't want wit honest man.

at a pinch, sir) e'en let me try, if I can fire my Ant. Fie, fie! I wonder you talk so, you that master enough with the praises of the young lady, are old, and should understand.

to make him rival his brother; that would blow D. Lew. Should, sir! Yes, and do, sir. Sir, them up, indeed, sir. I'd have you to know, I have studied, I have run D. Lew. Psha! iinpossible; he never spoke six over history, poetry, philosophy,

words to any woman in his liie, but his bed-maAnt. Yes, like a i at over a harpsichord, rare ker.

-You have read catalogues, I believe. San. So much the better, sir; therefore, if he Come, coine, brother, my younger boy is a fine speaks at all, its the more likely to be out of the gentleman.

road. Hark, he rings !- I must wait upon him. D. Lew. A sad dog—I'll buy a prettier fellow

[Ent Sancho. in a pennyworth of ginger-bread.

D. Lew. These damned old rogues ! I can't Ant. What I propose, I'll do, sir, say you your look my poor boy in the face : but coine, Charles; pleasure-here comes one I must talk with-well, let them go on; thou shalt not want money to buy brother, what news?

thee books, yet—that old fool, thy father, and his Enter CHARINO.

young puppy, shall not share a groat of inine between them; nay, to plague the

I could find in Cha. Oh, to our wishes, sir! Clody's a right my heart to fall sick in a pet, give thee my estate bait for a girl

, sir; a budding, sprightly fellow : in a passion, and leave the world in a tury. she's a little shy at first; but I gave him his cue,

[Erit.

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ACT II.

open, sir,

SCENE I.

San. No, sir, but he spits French like a maga

pie, and that's more in fashion. Enter ANTONIO and SANCHO.

Car. lle steps before me there; I think I Ant. Sir, he shall have what's tit for him. read it well enough to understand it; but, when Sun. No inberitance, sir !

I am to give it utterance, it quarrels with my Ant. Enough to give hiin books, and a mode- tongue. Again that noise! Priihee tell me, Sanrate mamtenance: that's as inuch as he cares eho, are there any princes to dine here? for; you talk like a fool, a cuxcomb; trouble San. Some there are as happy as princes, sir; him with land

your brother's married to-day. Sun. Must master Clodio have all, sir?

Car. What of that? might not six dishes serve Ant. All, all; he knows how to use it; he's a them? I never have but one, and eat of that but man bred in this world ; t'other in the skies, his sparingly. business is 'altogether above stairs ; [bell rings.] San. Sir, all the country round is invited; not go, see what he wants.

a dog that knows the house, but comes, too: all Sun. A father, l'ın sure.

[Erit Sancho Car. Prithee, who is it my brother marries? Ant. What, will none of my rogues come near

San. Old Charino's daughter, sir, the great me now? Oh, here they are.

heiress; a delicate creature; young, soft, sinooth,

fair, plump, and ripe as a cherry—and, they Enter three Servants.

say, modest too. Well, sir, in the first place, can you procure me Car. That's strange; prithee, how ,do these a plentiful dinner for about fifty, within two modest women look? I never yet conversed with hours! Your young master is to be married this any but my own mother; to me, they ever were morning; will that spur you, sir?

but shadows, seen and unregarded. Cook. Young master, sir! I wish

your

honour San. Ah, would you saw this lady, sir! she had given me a little more warning.

would draw you farther than your Archimedes; Ant. Sir, you have as much as I had: I was she has a better secret than any's in Aristotle, if not sure of it half an hour ago.

you studied for it. E'yad you'd find her the pretCook. Sir, I will try what I can do-hey, Pe- tiest natural philosopher to play with! dro! Gusman ! Come, stir, ho!

Car. Is she so fine a creature?

[Erit Cook. San. Such eyes ! such looks! such a pair of Ant. Butler, open the cellar to all good fel pretty plum;, pouting lips! such soitness in her lows; if any man offers to sneak away sober, voice ! such music, too! and, when she smiles, knock him down!

[Ereunt. such roguish dimples in her cheeks! such a clear

skin! white neck, and, a little lower, such a pair Carlos alone in his study. [A noise of chopping or round, hard, heaving, what d’ye call-ums--ah! within.

Car. Why, thou art in love, Sancho. Car. What a perpetual noise these people San. Ay, so would you be, if you saw her, sir. make! my head is broken with several noises,

Car. I don't think so. What settlement does and in every corner. I have forgot to eat and my father make them? sleep, with reading; all my faculties turn into San. Only all his dirty land, sir, and makes study. What a misfortune 'tis in human nature, your brother bis sole heir. that the body will not live on that, which feeds Car. Must I have nothing? the mind ! Blow unprofitable a pleasure is eat- Sun. Books in abundance; leave to study ing !-Sancho!

your eyes out, sir.

Car: I'm the elder born, and have a title, Enter Sancho.

though. San. Did you call, sir? [Chopping again. San. No matter for that, sir, he'll have posa Car. Prithee, what noise is this?

session----of the lady, too! San. The cooks are hard at work, sir, chop- Car. I wish him happy--he'll not inherit my ping berbs, and mincing meat, and breaking inar- little understanding, too! row-boncs.

San. Oh, sir, he's more a gentleman than to Car. And is it thus at every dinner

do that--Ods me, sir! sir, here comes the very Sun. No, sir; but we have high doings to- iady, the bride, your sister that must be, and her day.

father, Car. Well, set this folio in its place again; then make me a little fire, and get a manchet;

Enter CHRINO and ANGELINA. I'll dine alone-Does my younger brother speak Stand close; you'll both see and hear, sir. any Greek yet, Sancho?

Cur. I ne'er saw any yet so fair; such swcetness in her look! such modesty! If we may, and hasty : but he'll dine and be good company think the eye the window to the heart, she has a for all this. thousand treasured virtues there.

D. Lew. A strange lie, that. San. So! the book is gone.

[Aside. Clo. Ha, ha, ha! poor Testy, ha, ha! Cha. Come, prithee, put on a brisker look; D. Lew. Don't laugh, my dear rogue, prithee, ods-heart, dost thou think in conscience, that's don't laugh now; faith, I shall break thy head, if fit for thy wedding-day?

thou dost. Ang. Sir, I wish it were not quite so sudden ; Clo. Gad so! why, then, I find you are angry a little time for farther thought, perhaps, had at me, dear uncle ! made it easier to me: to change for ever, is no D. Lew. Angry at thee, hey puppy! Why, trifle, sir.

what?-what dost thou see in that lovely hatchet Car. A wonder!

face of thine, that is worth my being out of huCha. Look you, his fortune I have taken care mour at? Blood and fire, ye dog! get out of my of, and his person you have no exceptions to.- sight, orWhat, in the name of Venus, would the girl Ant. Nay, brother, this is too farhave?

D. Lew. Angry at hin! a son of a-- --son's Ang. I never said, of all the world I made son of a whore ! him, sir, my choice: nay, though he be yours,

1 Cha, ila, ha! poor peevishcannot say I am highly pleased with him, nor yet D. Lew. I'd fain have some body poison him. am averse; but I had rather welcome your coin- [To himself:] Ah, that sweet creature! Must this mands and him, than disobedience.

fair flower be cropped to stick up in a piece of Cha. Oh, if that be all, madam, to make you rascally earthen ware? I must speak to her easy, my commands are at your service. Puppy, stand out of my way.

Ang. I have done with my objections, sir. Clo. Ha, ha! ay, now for it.

Car. Such understanding in so soft a form! D. Lew. (To ANGELINA.] Ah! ah! ah! MaHappy-happy brother! may he be happy, dam-I pity you; you're a lovely young creawhile I sit down in patience and alone! Iture, and ought to have a handsome man yohave gazed too much--Reach me an Ovid. ked to you, one of understanding, too ;-I ain

(Exeunt Carlos and Sancho. sorry to say it, but this fellow's skull's extremely Cha. I say put on your best looks, hussy--for thick-he can never get any thing but muifs and here he comes, faith.

snuff-boxes; or, say, he should have a thing shaped

like a child, you can make nothing of it but a Enter CLODIO.

tailor. Ah, my dear Clody!

Clo. Odds me! why, you are testy, my dear Clo: My dear, (Kisses him.] dear dad: Ha! uncle. Na princesse !. estes vous donc ? Ah, ha! D. Lew. Will nobody take that troublesome Non, non. Je ne m'y connois guères, &c. [Sings.] dog out of my sight, I cannot stay where he is Look, look-look, oʻslyboots ; what, she knows -I'll go see my poor boy Charles—I've disturbnothing of the matter! But you will, child- ed you, madain; your humble servant. E'gad, I shall count the clock extremely to-night. Ant. You'll come again, and drink the bride's Let me see-what time shall I rise to-morrow? | health, brother? Not till after nine, ten, eleven, for a pistole.- D. Lew. That lady's health I may; and, if Ah-C'est à dire, votre cæur insensible est enfin she'll give me leave, perhaps sit by her at table, vaincu. Non, non, dic. [Sings a second verse.

Clo. IIa, ha! bye, nuncle. Enter ANTONIO, Don Lewis, and Lawyer. D. Lew. Puppy, good bye

[Erit D. Lewis, Ant. Well said, Clody! my noble brother, Ang. An odd-humoured gentleman. welcome!

my
fair daughter, I give you joy! Ant. Very odd indeed, child; I suppose,

in Clo. And so will I, too, sir. Allons ! Vivons ! pure spight, he'll make my son Charles his heir. Chantons, dansons ! Hey! L'autre jour, &c. Ang. Methinks I would not have a light head,

[Sings and dances, &c. nor one laden with too much learning, as my firAnt. Well said again, boy. Sir, you and your ther says this Carlos is; sure there's something writings are welcome. What, my angry bro- bid in that gentleman's concern for him, that ther! pay, you must have your welcome, too, or spcaks him not so mere a log. we shall inake but a flat feast on it.

dnt. Come, shall we go anel seal, brother? D. Lew. Sir, I ain not welcome, nor I won't The priest stays for us. When Carlos has signed be welcome, nor do-body's welcoine, and you are the conveyance, as he shall presently, we'll then all a parcel of

to the wedding, and so to dinner. Cha. What, sir?

Cha. With all my heart, sir.
D. Leu. - Miserable wretches-sad dogs. Clo, Allons, ma chere princesse !
Ant. Come, pray, sir, bear with him, he's old

Ercunt.

too.

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