you honour the master so far, he would be proud | boy-Here, page, order my coach and servants to pay his attendance. home, and do you stay-'tis a foolish country boy, Dur. Ay, to be sure. that knows nothing but innocence. [Aside. Lam. Sir, I won't presume to be troublesome, for my habitation is a great way off. Dur. Very true, madam, and he's a little engaged; besides, madam, a hackney-coach will do as well, madam. Mir. Rude beast, be quiet! [To DURETETE.] The farther from home, inadam, the more occasion you have for a guard-pray, madamLam. Lard, sir [He seems to press, she to decline it, in dumb shew.] Dur. Ah! The devil's in his impudence! now he wheedles, she smiles; he flatters, she simpers; he swears, she believes; he's a rogue, and she's a W- in a moment. Mir. Without there! my coach; Duretete, wish me joy. [Hands the lady out. Dur. Wish you a surgeon! Here, you little Picard, go follow your master, and he'll lead you Ori. Whither, sir? Dur. To the academy, child: 'tis the fashion, with men of quality, to teach their pages their exercises-go. Ori. Won't you go with him, too, sir; that woman may do him some harm; I don't like her. Dur. Why, how now, Mr Page, do you start up to give laws of a sudden? do you pretend to rise at court, and disapprove the pleasure of your betters? Look'e, sirrah, if ever you would rise by a great man, be sure to be with him in all his little actions, and, as a step to your advancement, follow your master immediately, and make it your hope that he goes to a bawdy-house. Ori. Heavens forbid ! [Exit. Dur. Now would I sooner take a cart in company of the hangman, than a coach with that woinan: What a strange antipathy have I taken against these creatures! a woman, to me, is aversion upon aversion; a cheese, a cat, a breast of mutton, the squalling of children, the grinding of knives, and the snuff of a candle. [Exit. SCENE II-A handsome apartment. Enter MIRABEL and LAMORCE. Lam. To convince me, sir, that your service was something more than good breeding, please to lay out an hour of your company upon my desire, as you have already upon my necessity. Mir. Your desire, madam, has only prevented my request: My hours! make them yours, madam; eleven, twelve, one, two, three, and all that belong to those happy minutes. Lam. But I must trouble you, sir, to dismiss your retinue; because an equipage at my door, at this time of night, will not be consistent with my reputation. Mir. By all means, madam; all but one little Lam. Innocence, sir! I should be sorry, if you made any sinister constructions of my freedom. Mir. O madam, I must not pretend to remark upon any body's freedom, having so entirely forfeited my own. Lam. Well, sir, 'twere convenient towards our easy correspondence, that we entered into a free confidence of each other, by a mutual declaration of what we are, and what we think of one another. Now, sír, what are you? Mir. In three words, madam-I am a gentleman; I have five hundred pounds in my pocket, and a clean shirt on. Lam. And your name is Mir. Mustapha. Now, madam, the inventory of your fortunes. Lam. My name is Lamorce; my birth noble; I was married young, to a proud, rude, sullen, impetuous fellow; the husband spoiled the gentleman; crying ruined my face, till, at last, I took heart, leaped out of a window, got away to my friends, sued my tyrant, and recovered my fortune- -I lived, from fifteen to twenty, to please a husband; from twenty to forty, I'm resolved to please myself; and, from thence upwards, I'll humour the world. Mir. The charming wild notes of a bird broke out of its cage! Lam. I marked you at the play, and something I saw of a well-furnished, careless, agreeable tour about you. Methought your eyes made their mannerly demands with such an arch-modesty, that I don't know how-but I am eloped. ha, ha! I'm eloped. Ha Mir. Ha, ha, ha! I rejoice in your good fortune with all my heart. Lam. O, now I think on't, Mr Mustapha, you have got the finest ring there, I could scarcely believe it right; pray, let me see it. Mir. Hum! Yes, madam, 'tis, 'tis right-but, but, but, but, but, it was given me by my mother; an old family ring, madam, an old-fashioned family ring. Lam. Ay, sir-If you can entertain yourself with a song for a moment, I'll wait on you imme¬ diately; come in there. Enter Singers. Call what you please, sir. Mir. The new song" Prithee, Phillis." SONG. Certainly the stars have been in a strange intriguing humour, when I was born-Ay, this night should I have had a bride in my arms, and that I should like well enough: But what should I have to-morrow night? The same. And what next night? The same. And what next night? The very same: Soup for breakfast, soup for dinner, soup for supper, and soup for breakfast again But here's variety. I love the fair who freely gives her heart, That's mine by ties of nature, not of art; Who boldly owns whate'er her thoughts indite, And is too modest for a hypocrite. LAMORCE appears at the door. As he runs towards her, four Bravoes step in before her. He starts back. She comes, she comes-hum, hum-bitch-murdered, murdered to be sure! The cursed strumpet! To make me send away my servants-Nobody near me! These cut-throats always make sure work. What shall I do? I have but one way. Are these gentlemen your relations, madam? Lam. Yes, sir. Mir. Gentlemen, your most humble servant; sir, your most faithful; yours, sir, with all my heart; your most obedient-come, gentlemen, {Salutes all round.] please to sit—no ceremony; next the lady, pray sir. Lam. Well, sir, and how d'ye like my friends? [They all sit. Mir. O, madam, the most finished gentlemen! I was never more happy in good company in my life; I suppose, sir, you have travelled? 1 Bra. Yes, sir. Mir. Which way, may I presume? 1 Bra. In a western barge, sir. Mir. Ha, ha, ha! very pretty; facetious pretty gentleman! Lam. Ha, ha, ha! sir, you have got the prettiest ring upon your finger there Mir. Ah! madam, 'tis at your service with all my heart. [Offering the ring. Lam. By no means, sir, a family-ring! [Takes it. Mir. No matter, madam. Seven hundred pound, by this light. [Aside. 2 Bra. Pray, sir, what's o'clock? Mir. Hum! sir, I have left my watch at home. 2 Bra. I thought I saw the string of it just now Mir. Ods my life, sir, I beg your pardon, here it is but it don't go. [Putting it up. Lam. O dear sir, an English watch! Tompion's, I presume? Mir. D'ye like it, madam-no ceremony'tis at your service with all my heart and soulTompion's! Hang ye. [Aside. 1 Bra. But, sir, above all things, I admire the fashion and make of your sword-bilt. Mir. I'm mighty glad you like it, sir. 1 Bra. Will you part with it, sir? Mir. Sir, I won't sell it. 1 Bra. Not sell it, sir? Mir. No, gentlemen-but I'll bestow it with all my heart. 1 Bra. O, sir, we shall rob you. [Offering it. Mir. That you do, I'll be sworn. [Aside.] I have another at home; pray, sir-Gentlemen, you're too modest; have I any thing else that you fancy?-Sir, will you do me a favour? [To the 1st Bravo.] I am extremely in love with that wig which you wear; will you do me the favour to change with me? 1 Bra. Look'e, sir, this is a family wig, and I would not part with it, but if you like itMir. Sir, your most humble servant. [They change wigs. 1 Bra. Madam, your most humble slave. [Goes up foppishly to the lady, salutes her. 2 Bra. The fellow's very liberal; shall we murder him? 1 Bra. What! Let him escape to hang us all! And I to lose my wig! no, no; I want but a handsome pretence to quarrel with him, for you know we must act like gentlemen. Here, some wine-[Wine here.] Sir, your good health. [Pulls MIRABELL by the nose. Mir. Oh! Sir, your most humble servant; a pleasant frolic enough, to drink a man's health, and pull him by the nose: ha, ha, ha! the pleasantest pretty-humoured gentleman! Lam. Help the gentleman to a glass. [MIRABELL drinks. 1 Bra. How d'ye like the wine, sir? Mir. Very good o' the kind, sir: But I tell ye what; I find we're all inclined to be frolicsome, and, e'gad, for my own part, I was never more disposed to be merry; let's make a night on't, ha! This wine is pretty, but I have such Burgundy at home! Look'e, gentlemen, let me send for half a dozen flasks of my Burgundy; I defy France to match it; 'twill make us all life, all air; pray, gentlemen. 2 Bra. Eh! Shall we have his Burgundy? 1 Bra. Yes, faith, we'll have all we can; here, call up the gentleman's servant-What think you, Lamorce? Lam. Yes, yes- -your servant is a foolish country boy, sir; he understands nothing but in he has made for me, and if he does it right, I'll you're never out of the way, 'cause there's no encourage him. such thing as a high road. Ori. The red Burgundy, sir. Mir. The red, marked a thousand; and be sure you make haste! Ori. I shall, sir. [Exit. 1 Bra. Sir, you were pleased to like my wig, have you any fancy for my coat?--Look'e, sir, it has served a great many honest gentlemen very faithfully. Mir. Not so faithfully, for I'm afraid it has got a scurvy trick of leaving all its masters in necessity. The insolence of these dogs is beyond their cruelty. Lam. You're melancholy, sir. [Aside. Mir. Only concerned, madam, that I should have no servant here but this little boy-he'll make some confounded blunder, I'll lay my life on't; I would not be disappointed of my wine for the universe. Lam. He'll do well enough, sir; but supper's ready, will you please to eat a bit, sir? Mir. O, madam, I never had a better stomach in my life. Lam. Come, then-we have nothing but a plate of soup. Mir. Ah! The marriage-soup I could dispense with now. [Aside.] [Exit, handing the lady. 2 Bra. That wig won't fall to your share. 1 Bra. No, no, we'll settle that after supper; in the mean time, the gentleman shall wear it. 2 Bra. Shall we dispatch him? 3 Bra. To be sure. I think he knows me. 1 Bra. Ay, ay, dead men tell no tales; I wonder at the impudence of the English rogues, that will hazard the meeting a man at the bar, whom they have encountered upon the road! I han't the confidence to look a man in the face, after I have done him an injury; therefore, we'll murder him. [Exeunt. SCENE III.-Changes to OLD MIRABELL'S house. Enter DURETETE. Dur. My friend has forsaken me, I have abandoned my mistress, my time lies heavy upon Bis. Rather always in a high road, 'cause you travel all upon hills; but, be it as it will, I'll jog along with you. Dur. But we intend to sail to the East Indies. Bis. East or west, 'tis all one to me; I'm tight and light, and the fitter for sailing. Dur. But suppose we take through Germany, and drink hard? Bis. Suppose I take through Germany, and drink harder than you? Dur. Suppose I go to a bawdy-house? Bis. Suppose I shew you the way? Dur. 'Sdeath, woman, will you go to the guard with me, and smoke a pipe? Bis. Allons donc ! Dur. The devil's in the woman! suppose hang myself? Bis. There I'll leave you. Dur. And a happy riddance; the gallows is welcome. Bis. Hold, hold, sir.-[Catches him by the arm going.one word before we part. Dur. Let me go, madam, or I shall think that you're a man, and perhaps may examine you. Bis. Stir, if you dare; I have still spirits to attend me; and can raise such a muster of fairies, as shall punish you to death-come, sir, stand there, now, and ogle me :-[He frowns upon her.] -Now a languishing sigh!-[He groans.]-Now run and take up my fan,-faster.-[He runs and takes it up.--Now play with it handsomely. Dur. Aye, aye. [He tears it all in pieces. Bis. Hold, hold, dear humourous coxcomb; captain, spare my fan, and I'll-why, you rude, inhuman monster, don't you expect to pay for this? Dur. Yes, madam, there's twelve-pence; for that is the price on't. Bis. Sir, it cost a guinea. Dur. Well, madam, you shall have the sticks again. [Throws them to her, and exit. Bis. Ha, ha, ha! ridiculous below my concern. I must follow him, however, to know if my hands, and my money burns in my pocket- he can give me any news of Oriana. Going off, BISSARRE meets him. Bis. Who comes there? stand! Dur. Hey day! now she's turned dragoon. Bis. Look'e, sir, I'm told you intend to travel again. I design to wait on you as far as Italy. Dur. Then, I'll travel into Wales. Bis. Wales! what country's that? Dur. The land of mountains, child, where [Erit. SCENE IV.-Changes to LAMORCE's lodgings. Enter MIRABELL, solus. Mir. Bloody hell-hounds! I overheard you; was not I two hours ago the happy, gay, rejoicing Mirabell? How did I plume my hopes in a faircoming prospect of a long scene of years? Life courted me with all the charms of vigour, youth, and fortune; and to be torn away from all my promised joys is more than death; the manner, too-by villains! Oh, my Oriana, this very moment might have blessed me in thy arms, and my poor boy! The innocent boy! Confusion! But | heart-Ad's my life, madam, you have got the hush, they come: I must dissemble still-no news finest built watch there? Tompion's, I presume. of my wine, gentlemen? Lam. Sir, you may wear it. Enter the four Bravoes. 1 Bra. No, sir, I believe your country-booby has lost himself, and we can wait no longer for't: true, sir, you're a pleasant gentleman, but I suppose you understand our business. Mir. Sir, I may go near to guess at your employments; you, sir, are a lawyer, I presume; you a physician; you a scrivener; and you a stock-jobber. All cut-throats, 'egad! [Aside. 4 Bra. Sir, I am a broken officer; I was cashiered at the head of the army for a coward : so, I took up the trade of murderer to retrieve the reputation of my courage. 3 Bra. I am a soldier, too, and would serve my king, but I don't like the quarrel; and I have more honour than to fight in a bad cause. 2 Bra. I was bred a gentleman, and have no estate; but I must have my whore and my bottle, through the prejudice of education. 1 Bra. I am a ruffian, too; by the prejudice of education, I was bred a butcher. In short, sir, if your wine had come, we might have trifled a little longer. Come, sir, which sword will you fall by mine, sir? 2 Bra. Or mine? 3 Bra. Or mine? 4 Bra. Or mine? [Draws. Draws. Mir. I scorn to beg my life; but to be butchered thus! O there's the wine! this moment (knocking) for my life or death. Enter DURETETE with his sword drawn, and six Mir. Oh, madam, by no means: 'tis too much -rob you of all!-[Taking it from her.]-Good dear time, thou'rt a precious thing! I am glad I have retrieved thee:-[Putting it up.]-What, my friends, neglected all this while! Gentlemen, you'll pardon my complaisance to the lady. How now-is it civil to be so out of humour at my entertainment, and I so pleased with yours? Captain, you're surprised at all this! but we're in our frolics, you must know. Some wine here. Enter servant with wine. Come, captain, this worthy gentleman's health. 1 Bra. I hope some of our crew below-stairs have dispatched him. Mir. Villain, what say'st thou? I'll have ye all tortured, racked, alive, if you have touched my boy. page! page! Dur. Here, gentlemen, be sure those fellows. Dispatched! torn to pieces Here, page! [Runs out. you secure 1 Bra. Yes, sir, we know you and your guard will be very civil to us. Dur. Now for you, madam. He, he, he! I'm so pleased to think that I shall be revenged of one woman before I die--well, Mrs Snap-Dragon, which of these honourable gentlemen is so happy to call you a wife? 1 Bra. Sir, she should have been mine tonight, 'cause Sampre here had her last night. Sir, she's very true to us all four. Dug. Take them to justice. [The guards carry off the Bravoes, Old Mir. Robin, Robin, where's Bob? where's my boy? what, is this the lady? a pretty whore, faith! heark'e, child, because my son was so civil as to oblige you with a coach, I'll treat you with a cart; indeed I will. of the grand musqueteers, with their pieces Enter OLD MIRABELL, DUGARd, and Bisarre. presented; the ruffians drop their swords. [ORIANA goes off Mir. The wine! the wine! the wine! Youth, pleasure, fortune, days, and years, are now my own again. Ah, my dear friends, did not I tell you this wine would make me merry? Dear captain, these gentlemen are the best-natured, facetious, witty creatures, that ever you knew. Enter LAMORCE. Lam. Is the wine come, sir! Mir. O yes, madam, the wine is come-see there![Pointing to the soldiers.]-Your ladyship has got a very fine ring upon your finger. Lam. Sir, 'tis at your service. Dug. Aye, madam, and you shall have a swinging equipage, three or four thousand footmen at your heels at least. Dur. No less becomes her quality. Dur. Monster aye, you're all a little monstrous, let me tell you. Enter MIRABELL. Old Mir. Ah, my dear Bob, art thou safe, man? Mir. O ho! is it so? thou dear seven hundred Mir. No, no, sir, I'm ruined; the saver of my pound, thou'rt welcome home again, with all my life is lost. Old Mir. No, he came and brought us the news. Mir. But where is he? Enter ORIANA, Ha!-[Runs and embraces her.]-My dear preserver! what shall I do to recompense your trust? Father, friends, gentlemen, behold the youth, that has relieved me from the most ignominious death, from the scandalous poniards of these bloody ruffians, where to have fallen would have defamed my memory with vile reproach.My life, estate, my all, is due to such a favourcommand me, child; before you all, before my late so kind indulgent stars, I swear to grant whate'er you ask. Ori. To the same stars, indulgent now to me, I will appeal as to the justice of my claim; I shall demand but what was mine before-the just performance of your contract to Oriana. [Discovering herself. don; my thanks are needless, for myself I owe. And now, for ever, do protest me yours. Old Mir. Tall, all di dall.-[Sings.- Kiss me, daughter-no, you shall kiss me first-[To LAMORCE]-for you're the cause on't. Well, Bisarre, what say you to the captain? Bis. I like the beast well enough, but I don't understand his paces so well, as to endanger him in a strange road. Old Mir. But marriage is so beaten a path, that you can't go wrong. Bis. Aye, 'tis so beaten, that the way is spoiled. Dur. There is but one thing should make me thy husband-I could marry thee to-day, for the privilege of beating thee to-morrow. Old Mir. Come, come, you may agree for all this. Mr Dugard, are not you pleased with this? Dug. So pleased, that if I thought it might secure your son's affection to my sister, I would double her fortune. Om. Oriana! Mir. Fortune! has she not given me mine? Ori. In this disguise, I resolved to follow you my life, estate, my all, and, what is more, her abroad; counterfeited that letter, that got me virtuous self? Virtue, in this so advantageous into your service; and so, by this strange turn of life, has her own sparkling charms, more temptfate, I became the instrument of your preserva-ing far than glittering gold or glory. Behold the tion. Few common servants would have had such cunning; my love inspired me with the meaning of your message, because my concern for your safety made me suspect your company. Dur. Mirabell, you're caught. Mir. Caught! I scorn the thought of imposition; the tricks and artful cunning of the sex have despised, and broke through all contrivance. Caught! no, 'tis my voluntary act; this was no ◄ human stratagem; but by my providential stars designed to shew the dangers wandering youth incurs by the pursuit of an unlawful love, to plunge me headlong in the snares of vice, and then to free me by the hands of virtue: here, on my knees, I humbly beg my fair preserver's par foil-[Pointing to LAMORCE-that sets this [TO LAMORCE. As a soft, virtuous, am'rous bondage here? [TO ORIANA, [Exeunt omnes. |